Okay When We Give Mammon The Valentine’s Chocolates And He’s Like, “you Aren’t Gonna Say Something

Story time! When I was a kid in art class, I always got in trouble for coloring every person in my pictures brown or black or yellow, even if I was drawing myself or my pale German-ass family. My teacher would scold me like, “Your family isn’t brown or yellow! Don’t use that color!” and I’d throw a tantrum, yelling “WELL I’M NOT THE COLOR OF THE WHITE CRAYON WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??”

And then I grew up and learned about undertones, and my skin is yellow/warm-toned af, so take that, Mrs. Johnson.

The moral of the story is: if a seven-year-old can color brown people, so can you.

Part of me says to delete the post because honestly, I’m tired of arguing with people. The fact of the matter is: if you draw characters that canonically have brown/tan skin, keep their skin brown/tan in your art. That’s it.

All of the artists in this fandom are extremely talented and I can’t take that away from you. Just please look up tutorials on how to color characters with brown skin.

Mammon isn’t stupid, he’s *impulsive*. He allows his sin to override his intellect, which to be fair we see in a lot of other demons who don’t get characterized as stupid. He’s apparently good at math (if he thinks of the numbers as Grimm). He’s the second strongest brother, so he isn’t going to be a total airhead. His lack of emotional intelligence and self-control get interpreted as stupidity, which is unfair.

Now I’m picturing Silvio Berlusconi cuddling a cow pillow and blushing and I may never recover from this.

Eve: I love all brothers equally! Lucifer... Mammon.. Leviathan.....Satan and Asmodeus *looks at smudged writing on hand* jingle bells and *squints* berlusconi

Please come to Dragoncon this year (assuming we can all get vaccinated and such)!

And all the Obey Me cosplayers! Pleeeeeease don’t make me beg. It’s a very unbecoming look for an adult woman.

I think about the brothers' fall a lot

Bonus:

I actually love this a lot. The little pursed lips, both in this drawing and the original card, make me laugh my ass off and I don’t know why. I just spent ten minutes trying to make this face in the mirror.

Shitty attempt on "why do people love cats" Satan

Look, I love me some spicy East Asian cuisine.

However.

I’m from the Carolinas, spent several years living in Louisiana, and therefore did not agree with the options the game presented. Any Obey Me fans who want to try something approaching devildom spice need to try:

Carolina Reaper in just about anything - it doesn’t have much flavor on its own, just shitloads of heat. I’d mix it up in a vinegar-based BBQ sauce and toss pulled pork in it, and you can cut the heat with applesauce if it’s too much. Actually, ema datshi with reaper or ghost pepper would be pretty good, I should try to make that.

Nashville chicken - ramp up the cayenne: brown sugar ratio for extra spice.

Gumbo, jambalaya, boudin sausage, or manque choux - again, you’re gonna be drowning your recipe with cayenne to make it spicy, and you can throw in a ghost pepper or Carolina Reaper if you want.

Just remember to wear gloves when you slice your peppers.

You have no idea how much I want to do this when opposing counsel calls me to bitch.

OC: “Well really Facebook isn’t supposed to tell the government when their users upload child exploitation material so I’m going to file a motion to suppress-”

Me: BANG BANG MOTHERFUCKER

Nobody told me 30 year olds were wrinkly and unenergetic. Some people write 30′s like they’re geriatric (not OP, more directed at the anon). Maybe my social circle is just rowdy, but half the fifty-somethings I work with can drink me under the table and get up for a run in the morning while I’m hungover-ly pouring Bailey’s in my coffee.

Also I look better at 34 than I did at 24 (as do a lot of people), because I have a sense of style and enough money to pay for a nice haircut/makeup. Honestly, who let me out of the house dressed like a goth at Woodstock when I was in college?

Which is a lot of words to tell anon not to worry about hitting 30. You’re never too old to be a bad bitch.

How would the brothers react on their (human) mc stressing about getting older? Mc isn’t as adventurous as before and has some wrinkles. Somewhere near 30?

JWSJSJSJ HOLD UP YALL THINK 30 IS OLD ???? DAMN... Man.... I guess half of my followers are basically in the grave, sorry guys. I'll prepare the funerals.

THE BROTHERS to MC worrying about getting older

Lucifer:

For a while, he will just brush your worries off and think its a phase. Maybe he hasn't loved you right lately? He will put a day aside, if not then a few hours, to just thoroughly love you and your changing body. It's in this time that you can get him to fully understand your worries. He'll take your hand and kiss it, reminding you that that's just part of being human and no matter how old you get, he will still cherish you.

Mammon:

He noticed, of course. The slight change in your appearance over the years and how you seem less energetic. He won't tell you but he's been thinking about the inevitable and although he knows it's still long before that, it just becomes more real with your own worries. He'll silently curse your fragile human being and spill his worries out in a heated argument that started over nothing. How dare you be human! That was the cruelest joke of all. He struggles with it too, but maybe you can lift each other up.

Leviathan:

The fact that he even has someone to love like that is amazing and so he avoids thinking about the negative. To him, this is a dream that should never end and when you get worried about that it just reminds him that this isn't a dream and it could end. He'll become whiny and needy, holding you close in fear of you going way too soon. Sure a few wrinkles arent the end, but they're the beginning of the end. He'll be sure to keep you close until then and remind you of why hes with you in the first place.

Satan:

Hes guilty of messing with that a bit. Your lack of energy forced him to use some "energy boost" spells and he is quick to offer something against the wrinkles too. Theres nothing wrong with getting old, he says, but theres something wrong with you getting old. He cant change fate, but he can try to keep you as youthful as possible on the outside with magic, if you want. Regardless, he will love you until you take your last breath. You changed him for the better and the least he can do is keep you filled with love and comfort throughout your life.

Asmodeus:

He starts freaking out FOR you. This is not just beauty gone wrong. This isn't just something you can fix with concealer. This is real. And it reminds him on how very mortal you are. He might shut down and avoid the topic at all costs. If he doesn't notice it, its not real, right? But he knows he has to accept it at some point. He just isn't ready to yet. So please, MC, take the creams he gives you and cherish every little bit of energy you have. Make him feel better while he tries to make you feel better.

Beelzebub:

Hes actually so calm about it at first. He holds you and tells you thats just life, that you're still beautiful to him and that he could still eat you up no matter what. But slowly.... As he lays awake at night through another hunger session, he realizes that time truly is really short and you have maybe 60 more years at best, 30 more at worst. Time runs different through him. Time is irrelevant to him. Having to think about this makes him anxious and he doesnt like it. Is there nothing he can do but to make you feel comfortable?

Belphegor:

Your worries will be ridiculed for a time because much like his twin, he thinks you still have so much time, right? But soon he'll lay awake at night and look at your sleeping form. You have changed.... Grown older.... And that's scary. Is he just supposed to lose you like he lost Lilith? He'll be angry with himself and his father for you being human, knowing thats not really your fault. He'll remind you every day how much you make him feel. And hopes that you feel him too. Don't worry about the details, he'll hold you anyway.

I need a new tarot set and if you don’t make a whole set and sell it to me I swear to Diavolo---

OBEY ME! - TAROT CARD SERIES

(XX) Barbatos— "Judgement"

"Referred to as a time of resurrection and awakening, a time when a period of our life comes to an absolute end making way for dynamic new beginnings."

Upright: Decision Making, Awakening, Inner Calling, Absolution, Redemption

Reversed: Poor Logic, Poor or hasty Judgement, Self-doubt, Stagnation

Finally got around to drawing the second card. Please click on it for better quality!

Yes Belphie get that sizzurp we are getting TRASHED

Lucifer: Simeon is throwing a party. He wants to know your favorite sodas.

Mammon: Fanta is good.

Satan: I don't drink soda, I'll just have juice.

Beelzebub: Please don't make me choose.

Belphegor: Carbonated Nyquil

Lucifer: ...

Mammon: ...

Satan: ...

Beelzebub: Belphie nO