Oh Hey This Is Me IRL.

Y’all I just spent real ass money on this wedding event.

It’s me.

I’m queen simp.

This message is for the late night scrollers, the ones who prowl Tumblr late at night for an escape. Looking for those fics that hit just right, that take away the hurt and make you feel like your comfort character is there, beside you, holding you, loving you.

Take a deep breath for me, in and out. They're there. Can you feel them? They know you struggled today and they're so proud of you! They're so happy to see you even if it's only in the dark, when you're hurting, when you need an escape. They treasure these moments with you, breathing in your scent, feeling you. God, how they love you.

I hope you find the story you need. The one that brings you comfort and peace that follows you into your dreams. I hope tomorrow is better then today and that you remember you are loved, even if the only love you can feel is from that fictional character you adore so much.

They believe in you and so do I, the random girl on Tumblr who's scrolling late at night too.

You have no idea how much I want to do this when opposing counsel calls me to bitch.

OC: “Well really Facebook isn’t supposed to tell the government when their users upload child exploitation material so I’m going to file a motion to suppress-”

Me: BANG BANG MOTHERFUCKER

Look, I love me some spicy East Asian cuisine.

However.

I’m from the Carolinas, spent several years living in Louisiana, and therefore did not agree with the options the game presented. Any Obey Me fans who want to try something approaching devildom spice need to try:

Carolina Reaper in just about anything - it doesn’t have much flavor on its own, just shitloads of heat. I’d mix it up in a vinegar-based BBQ sauce and toss pulled pork in it, and you can cut the heat with applesauce if it’s too much. Actually, ema datshi with reaper or ghost pepper would be pretty good, I should try to make that.

Nashville chicken - ramp up the cayenne: brown sugar ratio for extra spice.

Gumbo, jambalaya, boudin sausage, or manque choux - again, you’re gonna be drowning your recipe with cayenne to make it spicy, and you can throw in a ghost pepper or Carolina Reaper if you want.

Just remember to wear gloves when you slice your peppers.

I have so many questions.

Does the author think boobs are like testicles, and they get all wrinkly and drawn in if it’s cold? Is sperm stored in the boob?

Do Madeline’s nipples also get droopy, like sad puppy dog eyes?

Speaking of puppies, can she wag her titties when she’s happy?

Does she have sad day bras and happy day bras? Did she throw out all her push-up bras and buy a Patton Oswalt album to listen to before a hot date?

Why are men?

I know we’ve already read a lot of “men writing women” crap, but I am absolutely losing my mind at this passage

me: *gets depressed*

my breasts:

No, this was entirely worth it.

I’m waiting for an anime character that is made entirely of a mass of wriggling, sentient belts stuffed into a trenchcoat.

Cringetober day 9: Lots of belts

I spent so long on this and it was not worth it at all. :)

I feel like I need to bring this post to my therapist so we can work out why I am solely attracted to moody daddies.

Oh no, they’d get along perfectly. If anything, Lucifer comes to him for advice.

Lucifer: I like someone what should I do?

Jumin: Hmm, have you considered locking them away? A cage would be preferred—

Lucifer: *taking notes* ...And of course, I don’t embrace my feelings. I let this emotion fester and die.

Jumin: *nods* Obviously.

oh god, they bond over wine and music and then bounce ideas off of each other on how to deal with emotions without actually dealing with them 💀

Oh no, honey, this is BLESSED.

I’m taking him home and we’re going to play Fire Emblem until we murder each other over whether we’re team Black Eagles or Golden Deer (Black Eagles come fight me)

@automatictastemakertheorist asked if I could make the boys as rats and I tried, but when I finished Levi- I just gave up because it's so cursed to me 🤣

Y’all I got two hearings to cover in court tomorrow, and I am going to be so goddamn hungover and tired and angry I might take a shit in front of the judge and start screaming like a chimpanzee

F in the chat for me please

2020 for me has just been “am I stressed because of a global pandemic and an increasingly fascist far-right government, or am I just struggling to exist under capitalism” and I’m really getting tired of it

Who posted this: Mammon

Caption: “I can’t believe this human’s been cheatin’ at cards again! I dunno if I should be proud or really ticked off!”

I’m a lurker and nobody in the fandom so I’m not sure who I’m tagging so....

Obey me! Devilgram picrew challenge thingy!

Cause I found this picrew and I’d thought it be fun.

The rules are simple: use this picrew to make a devilgram post of your MC. Tell us which brother posted it and what the caption says (you could totally do more than those two things I just couldn’t think of anything else).

Who posted this?: Asmodeus

Caption?: “ I love this poor girl to death but she cannot pose for her life😞.”

A special thanks to @octofox cause I found this picrew on her blog!

I’ll be tagging @drxxmofyou @cheesepuffffff and @oceanlipgloss (no pressure guys!)

Have fun and tag your friends!