"So Much Soothing Voice"

Joy Sullivan, from “These Days People Are Really Selling Me On California”, Instructions for Traveling West

"I loved you past your skin" By Astrum

i didn’t fall for your body — i fell for the way your silence trembled when you trusted me to hear it. i loved you past your skin, past the curve of your lips and the softness of your breath. i loved the cracks in your voice when the world grew too heavy, the storms in your eyes when you were too tired to smile, and the ache in your soul that you tried so hard to hide. Don’t you see? i was not memorizing your body— i was memorizing the map of your hurt. because love, i did not come to touch you like a tourist touches a city— i came to live inside you, the way a poem lives in the chest long after the page is burned. You were not a body to me. you were a home i wanted to return to, over and over, even when the doors were locked. — and baby, i still have the keys.

so when words fail me, and there's no wind in my lungs

please know that you are it all

my salvation, my saviour, my grace

“why do you have a gap in your resume” idk why is there a gap in your staff. worry about that

"i’d memorize you in ways you forgot you existed"

"i’d memorize you in ways you forgot you existed" by Astrum

i wouldn’t ask for permission to admire you — i’d just do it. quietly. thoroughly. like i was built to notice you and no one else.

i’d memorize the way your breath hitches when you’re almost smiling, the exact second your eyes soften when you let your guard down, and the curve of your lips when you almost say what you’re scared to feel.

i’d learn you like my favorite song — not rushed, but looped forever. until every sigh, every glance, every unspoken ache was part of my heartbeat.

and when you forget how rare you are, i’d whisper it against your neck, press it into your skin, etch it into your bones — until you remembered that being wanted never had to hurt.

“come closer, but don’t flinch”

> come closer, but don’t flinch when you see the places I’ve bled quietly. I am not soft in the way you expect — I am soft like wildfire, like midnight rain that forgets to be gentle. I love like this: with cracked palms, shaking breath, and a heart too heavy to float but too stubborn to drown. if you want me, know this: I won’t promise easy, but I will promise real. raw fingertips. unhidden scars. midnight confessions no one else has ever touched. come closer. and if you stay— I’ll hand you everything I’ve ever buried under my ribs.

I don’t want a home.

I want a heartbeat

that beats louder when it feels me near.

By yours Astrum

My Answer Is: At Least 37

How many times today

did you picture me

face down, ass up

moaning

and gasping your name?

.

.

mood

I'm sorry if I'm difficult to deal with. I don't know how to deal with myself either.