Censorship Of Suicide Prevention?

The best laid plans of Martians  & “I think it’s gonna be a long long time”

I packed my bags tonight, pre-flight....

And everything went south from there, and not in the way I intended. 

After much deliberation and anticipation packed and climbed into my MAV. This was after, I should note, clearing the frozen Martian precipitation from my windshield. And yes, I know what you’re thinking ‘snow can’t fall on mars’, but due to the atmospheric regulations in this particular valley it does, and what was particularly relevant to me this afternoon was not the particulars of how this is possible but more the difficulty of clearing it from my vehicle. I did so in only the most sophisticated and intuitive manner (utalizing a baseball cap, sock and plastic butter knife when I discovered my car lacked a snow scraper). 

So at long last, I began the journey.

And then I had no breaks. I do not know what is wrong with them, and I wasn’t about to use my education in engineering to stand out in the cold and figure out how they work, or more accurately why they didn’t. I decided I was satisfied with sayin’ alive. 

So my night went south, without me actually making it any further south. Ah well “the best laid plans of mice and [martians] so often fall astray” (Burns, To A Mouse). I guess it’s gonna be “a long long time” before I get home again (Elton John, Rocket Man).

A cheap solution to heat problems:

A dear friend is working a factory job and has had heat stroke several times due to the recent heat wave. Said friend is in a financial position that limits options and resources. Time to put my overpriced engineering education to work. Here's what we came up with.

Resources required:

Watter bottle, preferably plastic though any will work.

Long sleeve T shirt

Implementation:

Fill watter bottle with water and place in freezer with lid removed

Roll in T-shirt

Use sleeves to tie around body like a belt/fanny pack.

Limitations: This is a minimal, temporary solution. Once the ice is melted it will no longer help.

Benefits: Acess to a freezer, a bottle, water, and a shirt is all that is required.

Martian Laundry Gone Wrong A window into the Martian Laundry Experience:

1. Put clothes in washer

2. Put Soap in Soap Slot & Quarters in Quarter Slot

3. Come back to mysterious puddle and open soap slot

4. Put soggy clothes in dryer and more quarters

5. Come back to soggy clothes that smell funny

6. Throw anything not absolutely vital to the week back in the laundry bag

7. Decide to hang pants

8. Discover you do not have a strong enough rope

9. Braid together several feet of plastic bag

10. Hang pants and spray with disinfectant

Alternative Method for same results:

1. Throw pants over chair, spray with disinfectant

2. Pour some water on your laundry bag

3. Throw some quarters out the window

This method is a more efficient means of achieving almost wearable pants, soggy funny smelling shirts, and losing quarters. 

Fish = Es TIMES q!?

This was said, this morning out loud in my dorm room, today. In context, it made total sense. 

Roller Coasters & Higher Education: The Hardest Part

I like roller coasters, at least sometimes, but they are designed to shake you, scare you a bit, give you an adrenaline rush, an experience, before they place you back on the ground. 

For me the hardest part of any roller coaster or amusement park ride is always waiting in line. Waiting in line is when you have a choice. Every moment I have to stand there, watching the ride, listening to the screams, I am making a conscious choice to get on the ride even as this new information is presented to me. My friends will get me into line, and once I am on the ride itself I put my faith in the safeties designed by the roller coaster engineer  and let my body be thrown from side to side. Loop da’ loops or dramatic three story high dives, locked into my seat the greatest stress is over and I can relax and enjoy the ride.

College too is designed to shake you a bit, give you an experience and place you back on the ground. And here too I find anticipation and decision stifling. I find the choosing of classes, the navigation of my non-standard course map to be a horribly straining task. I would rather just go forth and do, but I feel an obligation to myself to consider my options thoroughly. Issue is, I can’t see the future, there’s no way of knowing what option is truly best in the long run. It’s like being asked to solve for a variable, but being given an indeterminate matrix and some subjective phrases or playing 20 questions with only non distinct questions.  You just have to take your best guess and move on.   

The Devil Wears A Suit And Tie

He has been reported multiple times. He has a known track record and some young women are lucky enough to be warned to avoid him...

Others are not.

He invites the younger of the college girls, particularly ones with rough home lives, depression, anxiety, self doubt, anyone who is vulnerable or *has a reason to drink*. And then they get drunk and him and his friends take advantage of them.

He does not know who I am.

About a year ago, I stood with another pushing a door open against the cold beconing in two young women. They had made it out of one of the "parties".

We had acquired information about the "party" and one handed under the table I had passed just enough on to an SRA. The party was "not found". The young women had made it out on their own. We snuck them in through the side door of our residence. They would likely have had to leave school if caught.

As we got them warmed up and sobered up (blankets, soda, water), one of them told us half sobbing what happened, the other sat in near silence and said she was fine. They got out before the night was over, but others don't.

Once I saw a man standing outside, a tall almost iconic image of a businessman, smoking a cigarette, wearing a suit. And then he turned and I saw his face and some cold reality hit me. He looks like he owns this place. He does.

May hell be real & worse than any literature imagines & may his cigarettes send him there.

An Exercise in Unpacking & Havin' More Fun:

Imagine this:

Your shuttle, a lovely blue craft old enough to vote, returns you to mars late enough in the sol that it is already dark and you can feel the cold of the atmosphere in spite of your insulative layers.

Alone, you must unpack your craft and the extensive resupply materials it contains. Because you are alone you cannot leave the craft docked in front of the mass housing unit and since nearby docks are taken you must dock up hill from the housing unit.

How then do you get the supplies into your personal chamber???

Well, if you're me...

While wearing full insulative equipment you drag one of the carts up the hill, load it with the supplies, increasing its mass significantly. Then you push it and a rolling desk chair toward the hill, hop into the rolling desk chair and hold on.

I may be many things, but I'm certain I had the most fun in unpacking.

Martian Cocktail

How to mix a Martian Cocktail:

1. Grab generic cup

2. Add cranberry juice

3. Add orange juice

4. Add ginger ale

Why make a Martian Cocktail?

Because all the juice options separately tasted a little off. It's not quite the American summer camp classic "Bug Juice" (that is more based in color than flavor) but a slightly more grown version. Still non-alcoholic, but named for its color.

Healthy Life Choices:

My mother insists I eat more protein as my post-flu diet has been poor.

My doctor insists I increase my iron intake as my Martian diet lacks meats.

I think... I have found a solution: