I’m Crying

Sometimes I just want someone to care, to ask me if I’m ok without me trying to give hints... I gave up on doing that as well, they won’t ask even when I gave hints....

Maybe I’m just really good at acting, pretending...

No one is probably going to see this and maybe no one is going to care but I’m so so tired and I hate always saying that. because I’m not ALWAYS like down and tired and sick of everything. there’s days where I smile so hard my cheeks hurt and I feel like the world is the best place to be and life’s amazing and I’m so happy and nothing has ever gone wrong in life.

but I feel something will go wrong and I start getting scared. Like I’m a little too happy and it’s scary because something will go wrong won’t it? like yes my dad is smiling and making jokes and he’s being attentive and he’s giving advice that’s actually nice and helpful and full of love….but how long will that last before he like you know like… before he does what he does like…

how long before everything goes to shit and life’s a grey and gloomy and everything in me is calling for me to run and run and never look back. Which I can never ever do because I’m trapped.

I feel

so so so

old

I think some people don’t actually realise how serious this issue is

some things that have happened since you stopped hearing about p/alestine after the “ceasefire” was declared

1,000+ palestinians were arrested in a mass-arrest campaign designed to, and i quote, “instill fear” - including children

al-aqsa mosque and worshippers were attacked and beaten

literal children, not even teens, children, were arrested and tried in a military court (this is not new, thousands of children have faced this terrorization over the years. Isr@el is the only country in the world that tries children in military courts. 500-700 children are prosecuted each year.)

a soldier deliberately ran over a child on a bike for having a pales/tinian flag on his bike. an adult man ran over a child with his car. on purpose. the child is 12. read that again.

sheikh jarrah was blockaded, illegally

whatsapp blocked the accounts of over 100 pal/estinian journalists

silwan, another pal/estinian neighborhood like sheikh j/arrah, is being violently ethnically cleansed to make way for more settlers

Isr@el has forced social media sites to censor the hashtags “free pal/estine” and “save sheikh ja/rrah” many posts and accounts have been deleted

25 pales/tinians have been murdered by the ID/F and settlers

in Jaffa, 300 arab families are under force expulsion orders to make way for more settlers. 300 families.

suicide rates in g/aza have risen to an all-time high due to PTSD and hopelessness

Pales/tinians in G/aza still do not have access to safe drinking water, electricity, medical care, and nutrition. families are still being displaced from their homes by settler colonialism. There is still an inability to mobilize freely, pursue a career, seek an education, or gain access to decent healthcare or mental health resources. The occupation, genocide, and ethnic cleansing continues whether you see on your feed or not.

I’m crying

So I did a thing,,

Plus a platonic honorary mention bc I can :)

So lonely

“Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling”

—Oscar Wilde

Inside every person is a story they wish to forget

solitude

This...this is so beautiful I almost cried

if someone told me they loved me most ardently I wouldn’t be able to function properly ever again