I Don't Make The Rules, But Barty Gets Spitroasted By Evan And Regulus In Their Dorm Using Their Cock

since people hate american marauders, fuck you, they’re now all from various states and most of them are involved in greek life in some way shape or form

barty says he’s from nyc but he’s a fucking liar. he is from an even richer even more pretentious part of upstate new york but one person assumed the city when he said he was from new york and he decided that was cooler and rolled with it. in a frat mostly to piss off his dad, always drunk or on something, still has a 4.0

dorcas is ACTUALLY from nyc. she’s majoring in polisci but is minoring in fashion cause it’s fun and she’s good at it

marlene is from a tiny town in tennessee, very conservative, VERY christian, really comes into herself at college although there is a LOT of religious trauma to work through

mary is from south carolina, she’s very much like a southern belle, make sweet tea that will rot your teeth type, 1000% in a sorority. she’s studying english or education and minoring in art, probably painting focused but she won’t be an art teacher

james is THE frat bro, like his dad and his dad’s dad and his dad’s dad’s dad were in this frat. he will be president eventually but for his freshman/sophmore years frank was president (james has a bit of a crush on him and did not realize) he’s studying sports medicine or social work and plays soccer

the black brothers are from massachusetts they went to some disgustingly expensive private schools, different schools though, either because sirius became awful after going to boarding school or because of trans!reg, your choice.

sirius joined the same frat as james, it’s the rival frat to his father’s so there’s some shit there. he isn’t on the soccer team because soccer wasn’t “sophisticated enough” for the blacks (he can fence and ski like a motherfucker though) but he does play soccer recreationally

regulus is studying law or finance or business or something equally awful because his parents made him, it’s soul crushing and he hates it but he is really good at it (as he is everything) he wants to study philosophy and will eventually switch when he gets out from under his parents thumb

lily and snape are from new england, i can’t think of like a specific place but it’s smaller and poorer, lily would be in an academic sorority but snape has a vendetta against greek life (cause he didn’t get any bids) and has also made lily very against it (hence her hatred for the marauders) her issues with petunia stem from pet not getting into the college, asking lily to stay behind with her, and lily just needing to get out of that small town

everyone loves texas remus but may i offer you like farm kid montana remus, his family has enough land and he was always busy enough that he never really got to interact with kids his age, maybe an accident with an animal that gave him his scars. he goes to college and joins a frat because growing up almost completely alone, that idea of unwavering brotherhood really appeals to him. he’s studying classics (shocker) which causes some fights with his dad who wanted him to do something more agricultural

peter is from illinois, it was a big deal for him to move out out state for college and join a frat since no body really expected anything from his life. he’s studying math. i think his storyline would kind of be like california by chappell roan, he really wanted the city to work out but it’s just not and he wants to go home. the city brings out the worst in him and he ends up becoming the worst version of himself to try and be liked

evan and pandora are from florida but moved all over because of their dad’s business. pandora is studying art (duh) with a minor in philosophy which is how she meets reg. evan is studying engineering, i’m thinking mechanical but i’m not too sure

sugar baby remus lupin x sugar daddy regulus black.

that's it. you're welcome.

My rabbit hole has rabbit holed, so I don't know if this is a headcanon or fact, but is Luna related to Ollivander?

If so, I present to you wandmaker Luna Lovegood. Who continues the Ollivander wandmaker tradition. Not even because of Garrick, but because she finds it so interesting how the wands speak. And all the fine details that go into making a wand.

You can not tell me that the James look alike wasn't the shortest pregnancy out of them all. They were ready to be apart of the world yesterday. Definitely a premature baby even by Remus' wack pregnancy schedule like only a month and a half and caused Remus the most trouble out of any of them other than the Sirius look alike. He almost swore off getting pregnant again if it wasn't for the fact that he fell pregnant with the Peter look alike and it was the smoothest pregnancy he'd had.

Idk, but I have this headcanon that Lucifer, in all his time in hell, only owns one soul. That soul, being Sera's, who made the extermination deal with Lucifer. In exchange for the once a year slaughter of sinners, he gets her soul so Sera knows exactly what's on the line if Heaven breaks the contract.

Do you have any weasley twins hcs to share asking for a friend

All I can think of at the moment was the elaborate plot that I had come up with ages ago.

After Fred dies, George closes the Joke shop because as much as he loved it, it was more of Fred's passion, and he knows Fred would want him to do something that he was passionate about. When Fred was alive, that was George's passion. It didn't matter what he was doing as long as he had Fred.

George goes off the grid and travels the world. He always wanted to travel. The off the grid part kind of just happened since after Fred's death, his family had honestly become suffocating. They had become overbearing.

Anyway, he's on the border of some counties, and it's snowing, where he meets a pair of identical twins (shocker) John and Robert who goes by Bobby. They sort of adopt him, and they run from the government together because Bobby's a werewolf and John's a vampire.

It brought up a lot of pain for George, but at the same time, it left him so confused. If he hadn't been told that John was helping Bobby run from the ministry, and must obviously care for him if he would willingly do that, he would think that these two hate each other. Their bickering sounded a lot more cruel than any of the sort that Fred and him had done.

In the past 45 minutes, they had been walking not once had they touched. Hell, 10 minutes in Fred and George would have been linked by the elbow and skipping along to a badly whistled tune, something that would get them smiles and eye rolls.

Fred had always been someone who gave so much affection without being prompted, so George didn't have to ask. It wasn't uncommon to find them passed out on the couch curled into one another, especially when they started working on their business.

John and Bobby taught George independence and being able to rely on yourself, which George hates to admit, but before then, he had no grasp on what independence was or what to do with it. He always had Fred to help him.

George, in turn, taught John and Bobby the importance of connection, of actually getting along and showing support, and it not just being something from the sidelines.

(Sorry if this isn't quite what you wanted 😅)

Hazbin Hotel x MHA

Specifically, if Touya died in the fire that caused all his burns and was sent to Hell.

He gets adopted by Vox and later by Val as well. And then, by extension, Velvette.

He switches between calling Vox, his name and Dad, and Val, his name and Papa. Vel calls him nephew all the time.

He becomes an Overlord. And runs a machinery and jewellery business that is just as popular as the rest of the Vee's (V's?) Stuff.

(My thought process was that since he has a fire quirk, he can melt stuff down, also all the staples that hold him together.)

Vox is a worry wort parent and wouldn't let Touya join in the fight against Heaven. (He also was terrified of losing him)

Angel Dust and Cherry Bomb are his ride or dies.

(As well as Denki, but that's a whole other thing to this Au that I'm not getting into. Let's focus on Touya)

All night benders and turf wars are his thing, but only if he is with friends.

Interrupts Angel's studio time a lot, "to see Val" and drag him away from his work for as long as he can so Angel gets a break for a bit.

The Actual backbone of the Vee's (V's?)

Models for Vel from time to time.

Val taught him how to manipulate smoke and uses it to decorate his coat.

He is the only one who can get Vox to update his systems before his body forces a shutdown.

Vox was forced into a shutdown once in front of Touya, and he swore never again because he felt like he had failed so badly to be a father to Touya with having been so weak infront of him. (1950's trauma, anyone?)

Smokes when he misses Val or wants to seem powerful and drinks whiskey when he misses Vox or is drinking in a professional setting.

Loves positive physical affection.

Meeting Barty an actual real life virgin whore (because they all bail out on him once they realise his personality isn't a facade). Who is so desperate for Evan to fuck him when they meet and get talking, that Evan's brain sort of short circuits and he can't find himself the strength to pull the act, because Barty is sorta everything he's ever wanted in a man. Desperate, needy, and a little bit unhinged. Someone he can provide for. Someone he won't tire of.

He asks if Barty will never leave him, after he's made Barty's legs turn to jelly, because it's become routine at this point. The pathetic little whimpered out, please, into Evan’s neck, had him immediately ready for another round.

somewhere out there there's an extremely rich and snobbish evan who pretends to be a dumb drama queen.

every weekend he sleeps with a different guy, and he pretends to be a virgin with all of them. and after they have sex, he makes the most innocent face ever and says something like: "you took my virginity, now you'll never leave me, right?". except all those guys are in a relationship and/or are hiding their homosexuality, and so they disappear TERRIFIED. then evan (and that was his goal all along) wrecks their car or vandalizes their house. and he does this every weekend.

until he meets barty.

This is the sort of shit that Rosekiller would pull

You guys do know you're supposed to reblog things, right