I Hate Pessimistic Takes On Human Nature So Much

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*sees a same sex couple*

so which one of you is the fullmetal alchemist and which one of you is the *slightly different voice* fullmetal alchemist

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shocking new discovery: you are very cute. scientists everywhere are blushing

Its time.

someday i will remember that tumblr is also a place to promo

last night i posted the first chapter of a two-part FFH au wherein Beck takes a different approach to getting EDITH. this one’s a bit of a vent fic so please read the tags and warnings on the fic and in the author’s notes, and skip it if you need to. 

main tw: non-graphic sexual assault (by way of dubcon), grooming

safe reading y’all

fic title: i waste my truth on you

summary: 

Peter looks away, across the sloping lawn, to the lake. “I’m almost 18.”

Tony shakes his head. “Yeah, doesn’t matter. You’re still my kid. And besides,” here his voice turns careful, a little shrewd, a lot gentle. “It’s not just about your age on paper. It’s also about experience, power- a lot of things that go beyond just how many times you’ve traveled around the sun.”

Peter’s heart is thudding in his chest now, the rush of blood in his ears deafening.

“Peter.” Tony’s voice is so quiet, so impossibly gentle. Peter feels like he might crumble apart under the weight of it. “You want to tell me what happened in Prague?”

Or

Feeling shut out by his friends on their junior class trip, Peter finds himself drawn into a fight alongside a new, strange superhero. And if that man, Mysterio, has a gaze that lingers, that makes his stomach turn and his cheeks heat and the hair on his neck stand up? It’s fine. He can handle it. He’s got this all under control.

And when Mysterio shows his true colors, stealing EDITH right from under Peter’s nose? That’s fine too. He can fix his mistakes. He doesn’t need any help taking down Mysterio. And he definitely doesn’t need any help dealing with the aftermath.

I see the player you mean.

PLAYERNAME?

Yes. Take care. It has reached a higher level now. It can read our thoughts.

That doesn't matter. It thinks we are part of the game.

I like this player. It played well. It did not give up.

It is reading our thoughts as though they were words on a screen.

That is how it chooses to imagine many things, when it is deep in the dream of a game.

Words make a wonderful interface. Very flexible. And less terrifying than staring at the reality behind the screen.

They used to hear voices. Before players could read. Back in the days when those who did not play called the players witches, and warlocks. And players dreamed they flew through the air, on sticks powered by demons.

What did this player dream?

This player dreamed of sunlight and trees. Of fire and water. It dreamed it created. And it dreamed it destroyed. It dreamed it hunted, and was hunted. It dreamed of shelter.

Hah, the original interface. A million years old, and it still works. But what true structure did this player create, in the reality behind the screen?

It worked, with a million others, to sculpt a true world in a fold of the [scrambled], and created a [scrambled] for [scrambled], in the [scrambled].

It cannot read that thought.

No. It has not yet achieved the highest level. That, it must achieve in the long dream of life, not the short dream of a game.

Does it know that we love it? That the universe is kind?

Sometimes, through the noise of its thoughts, it hears the universe, yes.

But there are times it is sad, in the long dream. It creates worlds that have no summer, and it shivers under a black sun, and it takes its sad creation for reality.

To cure it of sorrow would destroy it. The sorrow is part of its own private task. We cannot interfere.

Sometimes when they are deep in dreams, I want to tell them, they are building true worlds in reality. Sometimes I want to tell them of their importance to the universe. Sometimes, when they have not made a true connection in a while, I want to help them to speak the word they fear.

It reads our thoughts.

Sometimes I do not care. Sometimes I wish to tell them, this world you take for truth is merely [scrambled] and [scrambled], I wish to tell them that they are [scrambled] in the [scrambled]. They see so little of reality, in their long dream.

And yet they play the game.

But it would be so easy to tell them...

Too strong for this dream. To tell them how to live is to prevent them living.

I will not tell the player how to live.

The player is growing restless.

I will tell the player a story.

But not the truth.

No. A story that contains the truth safely, in a cage of words. Not the naked truth that can burn over any distance.

Give it a body, again.

Yes. Player...

Use its name.

PLAYERNAME. Player of games.

Good.

Take a breath, now. Take another. Feel air in your lungs. Let your limbs return. Yes, move your fingers. Have a body again, under gravity, in air. Respawn in the long dream. There you are. Your body touching the universe again at every point, as though you were separate things. As though we were separate things.

Who are we? Once we were called the spirit of the mountain. Father sun, mother moon. Ancestral spirits, animal spirits. Jinn. Ghosts. The green man. Then gods, demons. Angels. Poltergeists. Aliens, extraterrestrials. Leptons, quarks. The words change. We do not change.

We are the universe. We are everything you think isn't you. You are looking at us now, through your skin and your eyes. And why does the universe touch your skin, and throw light on you? To see you, player. To know you. And to be known. I shall tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a player.

The player was you, PLAYERNAME.

Sometimes it thought itself human, on the thin crust of a spinning globe of molten rock. The ball of molten rock circled a ball of blazing gas that was three hundred and thirty thousand times more massive than it. They were so far apart that light took eight minutes to cross the gap. The light was information from a star, and it could burn your skin from a hundred and fifty million kilometres away.

Sometimes the player dreamed it was a miner, on the surface of a world that was flat, and infinite. The sun was a square of white. The days were short; there was much to do; and death was a temporary inconvenience.

Sometimes the player dreamed it was lost in a story.

Sometimes the player dreamed it was other things, in other places. Sometimes these dreams were disturbing. Sometimes very beautiful indeed. Sometimes the player woke from one dream into another, then woke from that into a third.

Sometimes the player dreamed it watched words on a screen.

Let's go back.

The atoms of the player were scattered in the grass, in the rivers, in the air, in the ground. A woman gathered the atoms; she drank and ate and inhaled; and the woman assembled the player, in her body.

And the player awoke, from the warm, dark world of its mother's body, into the long dream.

And the player was a new story, never told before, written in letters of DNA. And the player was a new program, never run before, generated by a sourcecode a billion years old. And the player was a new human, never alive before, made from nothing but milk and love.

You are the player. The story. The program. The human. Made from nothing but milk and love.

Let's go further back.

The seven billion billion billion atoms of the player's body were created, long before this game, in the heart of a star. So the player, too, is information from a star. And the player moves through a story, which is a forest of information planted by a man called Julian, on a flat, infinite world created by a man called Markus, that exists inside a small, private world created by the player, who inhabits a universe created by...

Shush. Sometimes the player created a small, private world that was soft and warm and simple. Sometimes hard, and cold, and complicated. Sometimes it built a model of the universe in its head; flecks of energy, moving through vast empty spaces. Sometimes it called those flecks "electrons" and "protons".

Sometimes it called them "planets" and "stars".

Sometimes it believed it was in a universe that was made of energy that was made of offs and ons; zeros and ones; lines of code. Sometimes it believed it was playing a game. Sometimes it believed it was reading words on a screen.

You are the player, reading words...

Shush... Sometimes the player read lines of code on a screen. Decoded them into words; decoded words into meaning; decoded meaning into feelings, emotions, theories, ideas, and the player started to breathe faster and deeper and realised it was alive, it was alive, those thousand deaths had not been real, the player was alive

You. You. You are alive.

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the sunlight that came through the shuffling leaves of the summer trees

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the light that fell from the crisp night sky of winter, where a fleck of light in the corner of the player's eye might be a star a million times as massive as the sun, boiling its planets to plasma in order to be visible for a moment to the player, walking home at the far side of the universe, suddenly smelling food, almost at the familiar door, about to dream again

and sometimes the player believed the universe had spoken to it through the zeros and ones, through the electricity of the world, through the scrolling words on a screen at the end of a dream

and the universe said I love you

and the universe said you have played the game well

and the universe said everything you need is within you

and the universe said you are stronger than you know

and the universe said you are the daylight

and the universe said you are the night

and the universe said the darkness you fight is within you

and the universe said the light you seek is within you

and the universe said you are not alone

and the universe said you are not separate from every other thing

and the universe said you are the universe tasting itself, talking to itself, reading its own code

and the universe said I love you because you are love.

And the game was over and the player woke up from the dream. And the player began a new dream. And the player dreamed again, dreamed better. And the player was the universe. And the player was love.

You are the player.

Wake up.

tell me something nice

I believe in free education, one that’s available to everyone; no matter their race, gender, age, wealth, etc… This masterpost was created for every knowledge hungry individual out there. I hope it will serve you well. Enjoy!

FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

Alison 

Coursera

FutureLearn

open2study

Khan Academy

edX

P2P U

Academic Earth

iversity

Stanford Online

MIT Open Courseware

Open Yale Courses

BBC Learning

OpenLearn

Carnegie Mellon University OLI

University of Reddit

Saylor

IDEAS, INSPIRATION & NEWS (websites which deliver educational content meant to entertain you and stimulate your brain)

TED

FORA

Big Think 

99u

BBC Future

Seriously Amazing

How Stuff Works

Discovery News

National Geographic

Science News

Popular Science

IFLScience

YouTube Edu

NewScientist

DIY & HOW-TO’S (Don’t know how to do that? Want to learn how to do it yourself? Here are some great websites.)

wikiHow

Wonder How To

instructables

eHow

Howcast

MAKE

Do it yourself

FREE TEXTBOOKS & E-BOOKS

OpenStax CNX

Open Textbooks

Bookboon

Textbook Revolution

E-books Directory

FullBooks

Books Should Be Free

Classic Reader

Read Print

Project Gutenberg

AudioBooks For Free

LibriVox

Poem Hunter

Bartleby

MIT Classics

Many Books

Open Textbooks BCcampus

Open Textbook Library

WikiBooks

SCIENTIFIC ARTICLES & JOURNALS

Directory of Open Access Journals

Scitable

PLOS

Wiley Open Access

Springer Open

Oxford Open

Elsevier Open Access

ArXiv

Open Access Library

LEARN:

1. LANGUAGES

Duolingo

BBC Languages

Learn A Language

101languages

Memrise

Livemocha

Foreign Services Institute

My Languages

Surface Languages

Lingualia

OmniGlot

OpenCulture’s Language links

2. COMPUTER SCIENCE & PROGRAMMING

Codecademy

Programmr

GA Dash

CodeHS

w3schools

Code Avengers

Codelearn

The Code Player

Code School

Code.org

Programming Motherf*?$%#

Bento

Bucky’s room

WiBit

Learn Code the Hard Way

Mozilla Developer Network

Microsoft Virtual Academy

3. YOGA & MEDITATION

Learning Yoga

Learn Meditation

Yome

Free Meditation

Online Meditation

Do Yoga With Me

Yoga Learning Center

4. PHOTOGRAPHY & FILMMAKING

Exposure Guide

The Bastards Book of Photography

Cambridge in Color

Best Photo Lessons

Photography Course

Production Now

nyvs

Learn About Film

Film School Online

5. DRAWING & PAINTING

Enliighten

Ctrl+Paint

ArtGraphica

Google Cultural Institute

Drawspace

DragoArt

WetCanvas

6. INSTRUMENTS & MUSIC THEORY

Music Theory

Teoria

Music Theory Videos

Furmanczyk Academy of Music

Dave Conservatoire

Petrucci Music Library

Justin Guitar

Guitar Lessons

Piano Lessons

Zebra Keys

Play Bass Now

7. OTHER UNCATEGORIZED SKILLS

Investopedia

The Chess Website

Chesscademy

Chess.com

Spreeder

ReadSpeeder

First Aid for Free

First Aid Web

NHS Choices

Wolfram Demonstrations Project

Please feel free to add more learning focused websites. 

*There are a lot more learning websites out there, but I picked the ones that are, as far as I’m aware, completely free and in my opinion the best/ most useful.

songs that have helped me through hard times

so0o, i do have these (+ some others) all on a playlist (here)

remember this is just how i perceive the songs and they might not be how you feel about them

in case you don’t live forever - ben platt: this is a song that hits harder because sometimes you can’t get the words out to someone before they leave your life. it’s a song that has a lesson to it, one that everyone should learn

two of us - louis tomlinson: this song is a huge tear jerker, for personal reasons i’m not going to elaborate though. it’s a very raw song, and any one that has struggled with the loss of someone should hear it

invisible - 5 seconds of summer: i used to feel like i was just always there, but never *there*.  admittedly i found this song after i really needed it, but it makes me mourn the girl i used to be. this entire song pulls at my heartstrings and it will always have a special place in my heart for how accurate the lyrics are

broken home - 5 seconds of summer: as a child of divorced parents, this song also hits different. “hey mom hey dad, when did this end? when did you lose your happiness” always makes me tear up. its a song i needed when i was younger. 

bumper cars - alex and sierra: from multiple friendships/relationships i relate to this song. its wanting this person so bad but you know you cant have it because you two just don’t mix and it makes a bigger mess. this song is more of an idea of sadness for me, it doesn’t directly make me think of one thing

finally, the most important one

you cant rush your healing - trevor hall

i could probably go on for days about how much strength this song gave me, but alas, i’m limited to a paragraph. i found this song after a really big change in my life, it was actually recommended to me by my aerial teacher. lyrically, its one of the most comforting songs i’ve ever listened to. i go to it anytime i feel anxious, sad, or in need of something to help me. 

you cant rush your healing, you have to go through every emotion and let yourself actually feel it. that’s something i had to learn. honestly, if i hadn’t found this song/the people from my aerial studio i would probably still be in the same endless (so it feels like) loop of sadness and frustration. 

this is a song you have to find at the right time to be able to understand. the first time i listened to it it was late at night, i felt tired, and i let it play on a loop listening to the lyrics just crying because i felt like i found something that could really help me (and it did)

✨Things to look back on when thinking about binging ✨

You had goals, remember?

•the summer body youve always wanted

•being like the girls/guys you admire everyday

•becoming thinspo and inspiring other people

•being more respected and loved

•people stop staring at you in public

•less appetite due to a way smaller stomach therefore being able to eat yummy foods

•going clothes shopping without getting looks from literally everyone

•being able to enjoy intercourse with a partner

•being able to get semi famous on social media because you’re as pretty as a model now

•saving a lot of money from not spending it on massive amounts of food over time

•keeping the lights on without feeling ashamed (if ykyk)

•being happier because people love socialising if you’re thin and pretty

•being able to eat without guilt again

•all the cute new shirts you’ll fit in

•going down in clothing sizes massively

•not being the fat friend

•beathiful dresses and gowns will make you look like a true goddess

•jawline

•flat stomach

•its gonna be easier to workout due to being light

•speaking of light, imagine that special person being able to pick you up and carry you

•no more looking into the mirror thinking “not again..”

•not being labelled lazy when relazing

•looking good in any clothing item

Part 2 is following when it’s not 2AM and I’m semi alive ahah

The Umbrella Academy Season 2 + soundtrack.