Gay Shit Ive Done That I Thought Was 100% Straight Before I Realized: A Biography

Folklore Reactions

going to do this in sections, so this is just tracks 1-5. I still know nothing! (well, and also everything.) But I wanted to capture some of my initial feelings. :) 

the 1: after several listens I understand so much more clearly what this song is doing and it ISN’T deeply sad, like I first thought. there’s a lightness to it. it’s a song about looking back at something nostalgically and being a little apologetic for doing that. “in my defense I have none for never leaving well enough alone/for digging up the grave another time.” she’s shaking her head at herself, acknowledging that she can’t help being this way, being so retrospective. the details are so fun and vivid. sunday matinees, bus stops, rosé flowing, but what i love about it so much is the main hook of the song. “it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the 1.” because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been, it doesn’t matter that this song isn’t a deeply personal one for taylor in that it’s not about her (and i don’t think it is, i think it’s a perspective one), taylor will always muse on whether something that didn’t last could have lasted and will always quietly, gently, in a third person way wish that it could have lasted. the ache in her voice when she sings “if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.” this non-breakup song has more pathos in it than most artists’ actual breakup tracks. AND IT’S ALSO A BOP????? I CAN’T. 

cardigan: oh man, i can’t say anything coherent about it yet. this song is so big and so layered. i will say that the way that this, august, and betty have these HUGE intertwining bridges—- is everything to me. the whole heart of the song is about what betty kNEW and the way the bridge is just images stacked on images, moments stacked on moments, all the things she knew. and there really was so so so so much that she kNEW. and that knowledge couldn’t save her from heartbreak. because she wANTED to be someone’s favorite. a lot of knowledge when you’re young isn’t the same thing as wisdom and it can be its own heavy gift because you can’t make all the rest of you grow up to match that knowledge. you’re still just a kid, too. she saw how it would all unfold and fell anyway BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE CHOSEN AND LOVED. THIS SONG. 

the last great american dynasty: this was my breakthrough song!!!!! the one on first listen that makes me feel like I can breathe and that I can sort of process. :) I grinned SO WIDE the second I heard her sing “Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train.” It’s perfect, utterly perfect, every word hits a beat and every word tells a story. bitch-pack friends!!!! filled the pool with champagne !!!!! boys and the ballet!!!! the bridge is beyond delightful. THE CHILLS I FELT WHEN SHE SANG “and then it was bought by me.” a song about taylor’s rhode island mansion is not what I expected or thought I wanted but it is exactly what this album and I needed. It’s both a processing song for Taylor personally and the parts of her reputation that her RI mansion helped create but it’s also about STORYTELLING, about making a legend out of the woman who lived there before, sharing her story with the world and tying her past to Rebekah’s and in doing so immortalizing both. i’m obsessed. 

exile: this is a stunning collab, her best yet I think. his voice is deep enough that it holds up next to Taylor’s–which often ends up being more expressive than her duet partners. They feel like true partners as vocalists and storytellers; the story is equally theirs. Love the big sound, love the crosstalk, love the pain amplified in this big, big sound. “holding all this love out here in the hall” >>>>>> KILL ME. this was also a breakthrough song. it’s fairly straightforward but that doesn’t lessen its power.

my tears ricochet: oKAY so the biggest magic about this song !!!! to me!!!! is the fact that the thing that seems to work LEAST, that feels like it might be the weakest link in an otherwise stunning and layered and metaphor-driven song is actually the thing that ties it together!!!!!! and YES. BY THAT I MEAN THE TITLE. !!!!!!! it wasn’t until she sung the titular phrase that it all snapped into place for me. this is a SHARED grief, a shared bitterness, a union even in the separation in the sense that they both are hurting. (anywhere i want just not home//you would still miss me in your bones) the phrase my tears ricochet captures that perfectly, it IS the thesis, because they are not only her tears but they come from her. they strike him and then return again. the way she sings it too. the truth, the almost-acceptance? the ache, the sadness, but mostly the plain, matter-of-fact TRUTH and the lowness, the lowest of lows in terms of her register, that really drives it home. look at how my tears ricochet. what feels like it could be melodrama becomes reality in those three words. it is a perfect track 5. 

*exchanging wedding vows*

me: fullmetal alchemist my wife: *slightly differently from how I said it* fullmetal alchemist

Songs That Turn Me Into This Kid

1. THE ENTIRE CRYBABY ALBUM - Melanie Martinez

2. Colors - Halsey

3. Change- Steven Universe Movie

4. Never Forget You - Zara Larrson

5. Six Degrees of Separation - The Script

6. Breakeven (Falling To Pieces) - The Script

7. High Hopes - Panic! At The Disco

8. In The Name of Love - Martin Garrix & Bebe Rexha

9. Closer - The Chainsmokers Feat. Halsey

10. I Wish - Cher Lloyd

11. When I’m Gone - The Click Five

12. Over You - Daughtry

13. New Rules - Dua Lipa

14. i hate u, i love u - gnash feat. Olivia O’Brien

15. Somebody That I Used To Know - Gotye

16. New Americana - Halsey

17. Gasoline - Halsey

18. Girls Like Girls - Hayley Kiyoko

19. Perfect - Hedley

20. Price Tag - Jessie J

21. Domino - Jessie J

22. Bang Bang - Jessie J

23. Who’s Laughing Now - Jessie J

24. Hot n Cold - Katy Perry

25. The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

26. Birthday - Katy Perry

27. Let ‘Em Talk - Ke$ha

28. Woman - Ke$ha

29. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane

30. Salute - Little Mix

31. Touch - Little Mix

32. Homewrecker - Marina and The Diamonds

33. How To Be A Heartbreaker - Marina and The Diamonds

34. BUBBLEGUM BITCH - Marina and The Diamonds

35. Primadonna Girl - Marina and The Diamonds

36. Oh No! - Marina and The Diamonds

37. All To Myself - Marianas Trench

38. Welcome To The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance

39. Everybody Talks - Neon Trees

40. Anything P!nk

41. We Belong - Pat Benatar

42. I’m In Love With A Girl - Gavin Degraw

43. Stand By You - Rachel Platten

44.You Suck At Love- Simple Plan

45. My Demons - Starset

46. Drops of Jupiter - Train

47. Hell No - Ingrid Michealson (Boy Cover)

48. Troublemaker - Olly Murs

49. She’s Not Afraid - One Direction (Cover)

50. Stay A Little Longer - Brothers Osbourne

51. Remember When - Chris Wallace

52. Love Drunk - Boys Like Girls

53. Let Her Go - Passenger

54. About You Now - Miranda Cosgrove

55. Loser of The Year - Simple Plan

56. I Refuse - Simple Plan

57. Get Back Up Again - Anna Kendrick

58. Baby - Bishop Briggs

59. Car Radio - twenty one pilots

60. Just A Dream - Nelly

61. Hello, Hello - Sir Elton John feat Lady Gaga

62. Lips of An Angel - Hinder

when in doubt, remember the 3 F'S:

- FRIENDS

- FUCK COPS

- FIGHT FOR WORMS WORLDWIDE

Go hear them!!!! They're amazing 😍

you can stream rust here.

I miss sleeping next to someone

✨Things to look back on when thinking about binging ✨

You had goals, remember?

•the summer body youve always wanted

•being like the girls/guys you admire everyday

•becoming thinspo and inspiring other people

•being more respected and loved

•people stop staring at you in public

•less appetite due to a way smaller stomach therefore being able to eat yummy foods

•going clothes shopping without getting looks from literally everyone

•being able to enjoy intercourse with a partner

•being able to get semi famous on social media because you’re as pretty as a model now

•saving a lot of money from not spending it on massive amounts of food over time

•keeping the lights on without feeling ashamed (if ykyk)

•being happier because people love socialising if you’re thin and pretty

•being able to eat without guilt again

•all the cute new shirts you’ll fit in

•going down in clothing sizes massively

•not being the fat friend

•beathiful dresses and gowns will make you look like a true goddess

•jawline

•flat stomach

•its gonna be easier to workout due to being light

•speaking of light, imagine that special person being able to pick you up and carry you

•no more looking into the mirror thinking “not again..”

•not being labelled lazy when relazing

•looking good in any clothing item

Part 2 is following when it’s not 2AM and I’m semi alive ahah

Keep reading

some really cool bands and musicians to checkout if you haven‘t already!! (˙ ͜ʟ˙) ₚₗₑₐₛₑ ₑₙⱼₒᵧ

!! Just a few really cool indie musicians and bands you should check out if that’s your kind of thing !! Or even if its not you’ll still probably like these !

- Girl In Red – very retro aesthetic, also great lesbian representation

- Chloe Moriondo – super soft girl, mostly covers but amazingly talented

- Abbey Glover – many MANY originals, angsty and beautiful songs

- Mxmtoon – Techno / retro sad girl vibes, very calming

- Mccafferty – rough and edgy, for all u eboys out there <3

- Conan Grey – similar to a retro troye sivan, also a youtuber !!

- Cavetown – soft boy, mostly sad music (youve probably heard him in  peoples remixes !!)

-Ollie Mn – sad boy with an amazing voice (also known for funny vines)

- Khai Dreams – chill vibes, very calming

- Catherine K Dong – beautiful voice, real people real places vibes

- Grandson – dark and edgy, political songs

- It looks sad – soft and dark at the same time

-Mitski – beautiful singer, marceline from adventure time covered her song ‘francis forever’

- The front bottoms – similar to mccafferty, edgy but not as rough

- Peachpit – very retro chill songs, very bass-ey songs

- Jack stauber – most known for his amazing claymation videos but his music is super interesting with a story and are very known on tiktok

- Sales – soft and sweet, sort of clear retro vibe

unhinged YouTube channels to quench all your thirst for chaotic sciences stuff

TheBackyardScientist- pretty straight forward, a lot of ridiculous what if videos as in “what if we filled a pool with molten lava or dry-ice, electrifying sand etc. pretty chaotic, they destroy A LOT of fish-tanks in their processes

Styropyro- You like fire? you like LASERS? You like literal death-rays build from stuff you can buy from e-bay? Also sometimes there is completely unhinged science recipes (like making rocketfuel from sugar and stump remover) taking from late 19th-early 20th century DIY science books that make the anarchist cookbook look kind of lame

Michael Reeves- Fun weird robotics and coding, robots build from household items and whatever you can salvage anywhere, not as informative as the others mentioned but very fun and unhinged, also coding tutorials

JLservideos- cool gadgets and build inspired by pop-culture like Superhero movies, fairly in-depth explanations on the building process, still easily digestible, wall climbing shoes, taser gloves and human flying drones are just a few of the very cool projects

The Thought Emporium- The closets thing to a RL mad scientist YouTube has to offer, straight up bioengineering at some points, very bio focused in general, manipulating viruses, growing synthetic flesh and silk, and using human neurons to build a computer

Sexy Cyborg- Machine coding and 3d printing, hiding cool gadgets in everyday objects, building automated bartenders etc. self build anti-surveillance tech