Bucky X Reader - Blog Posts

Bucky x Reader Valentines fic??

Should I turn this into a Bucky x Reader valentines fic?? It made me laugh thinking about it

It’s Feb 14th

Bucky doesn’t realise it’s Valentines Day until he sees Steve’s newspaper

Is conflicted and anxious

Decides to get you some flowers and chocolates

But he can’t just give them to you

So he leaves them outside your door

But DUM-E takes them and tells Tony he got them for Tony

Tony knows this isn’t true but can’t stop laughing and now he’s crying

Maybe kill Tony Stark maybe not ??

Goes out and gets more flowers

Decides to give them to you but can’t find you

Waits all day and finally you come home late

He goes to you when you’re on the balcony and stutters out something incomprehensible

You just stare at him wondering what the fuck “you’re flowers are really chocolate” means

He ends up throwing the flowers at you and shouting-

“I FUCKING LIKE YOU”

Tony tweets the cctv footage

When your fall in love with your flatmate

The second part of my fic: When your flatmate is a jerk

Warning: Smut, explicit sex

(Eng is not my first language.)

After patching things up with James you became good friends. In the end, nothing happened between you two, and you decided to bury in the back of your mind those feelings that your flatmate waked in you. If there was sexual tension between the two of you, you both decided to ignore it. That was easier than trying to figure out where that unusual relationship could lead. 

In the time you had been friends you discovered a playful and childlike James. When he genuinely smiled his eyes sparkled and he looked so soft that your heart could melt. Also the coming and going of women had stopped and on nights when the ex-soldier couldn't sleep you would set up a fort in the living room and watch movies until you fell asleep, ending up always waking up in your own bed the next morning.

Over time you had come to realize that what was really going on was not that James couldn't sleep but that he was afraid to do it. When he closed his eyes the war came back and nightmares haunted him. It only happened once but Barnes was very tired and you were watching a documentary which he found very boring. He fell asleep and before you knew it his body was shaking, his fists were clenched and he was sweating. You tried to wake him up and when you finally did, what you saw broke your heart, James' eyes tinged with terror. “Shhh, you are here.” you whispered trying to calm him down. You tried to touch him but he shunned you as if your skin burned. 

"I'll go take a shower..." he blurted out as if nothing had happened and before you could say anything else he disappeared. You never commented on what happened and James never fell asleep again. He always did something to prevent it and you were well aware of it. 

Sometimes you realize that James was still keeping secrets like the card you found while you were doing laundry. It was all wet and crumpled but still readable. It looked like a support group for war veterans. You were happy for him but also hurt that he didn't tell you anything about it. Well, it's not like he had to do it but still... You spent the rest of the day thinking about it, you wanted James to trust you in the same way you had trusted him by telling him about your life and problems. Yes, maybe he wasn't the same as you, but you weren't just flatmates, you were… friends… 

At dinnertime, you were distracted and Barnes was quick to notice. That night it was your turn to cook dinner and you had left the fridge open, you almost burned the vegetables you were cooking and it was impossible to keep a conversation with you. 

Those blue eyes could read you as an open book and he was pretty sure that something was off. "Anything happened today?” he didn't take long to ask you, beating around the bush wasn't his thing. You were so caught off guard that the plates in your hands fell off. You immediately bent down to pick them up and cut yourself on one of the broken pieces. 

“Fuck…” you sobbed on the verge of tears, not because it hurted, but because you realized that your friendship with James was not enough for you. He rushed over to you and before you could react he sat you on the counter and pulled out the first aid kit. He was nervous, you could tell by how quickly his eyes scanned your body for more cuts. 

"What's wrong with you today?" You didn't know how to answer him, whether to tell him the truth or leave it alone. You ended up bursting into tears, causing the blue-eyed man to panic even more. It was a childish, snot-filled cry. "Look at me." James pleaded, trying to calm you down "Tell me what's going on, please." With no idea what to do, he started rubbing your back and wiping away the tears that kept coming. Crying prevented you from speaking and you could only fall even more in love with the man in front of you. He was so worried about you that it hurt you not to be able to give him the answer he wanted. "Maybe are you… on one of those days?." he tried to ask gently, not wanting to offend you.  You couldn't help but laugh through your tears. 

"No..." you murmured, losing yourself in his blue eyes. "The problem…. is that I think… I'm in love with you." you confessed, terrified of losing the warmth of that man. James blinked a couple of times in confusion, he was still processing your confession. 

"Are you crying because you're in love with me?” He wanted to be sure of what he had heard. You just nodded, unable to repeat those words. "Do you want to kill me with a fucking heart attack?" he breathed in relief. He cradled your face in his hands and put his own at your eye level. "You idiot..." he pressed his forehead to yours. "I thought something bad happened." You were so close that his scent surrounded you and his breath when he spoke brushed your cheeks. 

"I think falling in love with a flatmate is bad enough..." You tried to fake a smile but you only managed to make a grimace. 

"But what if that flatmate is also in love with you?" he whispered in your ear before burying you in his arms, unable to meet your gaze. Your heart was racing and the tears stopped, suddenly your face turned red and your palms started sweating. Was he saying what you thought he was saying? 

"You're shaking..." Barnes let out a small laugh and you noticed the weight of his head on top of yours. 

“Whose fault do you think it is?” You tried to free yourself from his embrace but his strength far outweighed yours. Then you realized that your face was at the level of his chest and his heart was racing. "You don't look any better..." you answered back. "And that's your fault..." he sighed. 

Argh... You wanted to see his face so badly. Lose yourself in his blue eyes... Kiss him... "Let me see your face..." you begged. Your hands scratching his back weakly. You were desperate to feel all of him. Then you had an idea... You were still sitting on the countertop and you took advantage of the situation to wrap your legs around him and close the little distance that remained between you. 

"Don't play with fire, y/n." he gasped as he brushed against you. 

"But you just said…" you put your arms around him, trying to win him over. 

"If it were up to me I'd make you mine right now..." you noticed how her voice sounded desperate. "But then there'll be no turning back..." You understood what he meant because it was the same fear you had. But it was even more painful not to have it than to try and have it not work. "You're not going to lose me, whatever happens between us." you let him know. "But we can’t stay like this forever…" you scoffed at the situation. 

Your words had an effect and James' grip relaxed, you could finally look at him... His pupils were dilated and his mouth slightly ajar. "Fuck, you're beautiful." he smiled tenderly. His big hands slid over your back, one ended up on your waist and the other on the back of your neck. "I'm going to kiss you..." he announced "And you're not going to be able to get rid of me from now on.". A nervous laugh escaped you "Is that a promise or a warning?"  James lost all the little willpower he had left and crashed into your lips. "A promise for sure." his kisses were eager and intoxicating, your whole body reacted to him. There wasn't a nook that didn't crave his touch. 

You both clung to each other as if you were afraid the other would disappear at any moment as if even all the time in the world wasn't enough to quench the longing you had for each other.  “Fuck…” you both gasped into each other's mouths, which caused you to grin like dorks at the coincidence.  That kitchen was getting too small and the clothes were starting to get in the way. 

“Is this all we are going to do?” You said burying yourself in James' neck, leaving little kisses. Your hands slipping under his clothes, enjoying the heat emanating from James' body. You couldn’t wait anymore.

“What else do you want to do?” Barnes teased you by squeezing your thighs and bringing you even closer to him. You knew he needed you as much as you needed him, his erection wasn’t going unnoticed under his jeans. You tried to touch it but James stopped you by grabbing your wrists. “What's the hurry? I asked you a question.” he smiled mischievously. 

“But you know exactly what I want.” you gave him your most powerful puppy eyes.  “And you want it too…” 

You were not lying, he was craving for you since the day he almost lost you for that jerk, the day that he almost kissed you but he chickened because you made him feel something for the first time since he left the army. “You have no idea…” he sighed in defeat. After all the shit and madness he saw in the war, you were the light at the end of the tunnel, so beautiful and special that he was afraid to ruin it, to end up hurting you. 

He kissed you with so much tenderness that took you by surprise as if you were to break into his arms. You could feel his love in every kiss, you didn’t need to hear those words. He was telling you with all his body. Without stopping kissing you for a second, he took you to your room. It was the first time he crossed the threshold while you were awake, hundreds of times he had taken you to bed but never like this. You lost track of time and space, all you could think about was James, his blue eyes, the jaw that clenched every time one of your clothes fell to the floor. With his mouth, he worshiped every part of your body and while you were still standing in front of your bed he knelt before you and sunk his face into your stomach. Your smell was addictive, your skin tasted like honey. He continued down until he reached the edge of your panties. Your wetness did not go unnoticed, you had been dreaming about it for so long that for a second you were terrified to think it was all a dream. But the little kisses and nibbles inside your thighs made it clear you weren't dreaming. You wanted him as much as he wanted you. He didn't think twice and threw off the cloth that separated him from your core. You gasped, the image of James between your legs was more than you could ever imagine. “You are perfect…” he purred less than an inch from your cunt and you could only bury your fingers in his hair, biting your lip in anticipation. He gave you a last look before taking care of your needy clit, her eyes were completely black. 

“Fuck.” He knew what he was doing. His tongue traveling up and down between your lips, focusing on your clit. Your wetness helping him when his fingers decided to join and help in his aim to make you cum like never before. 

You could no longer stand on your feet, your legs were shaking too much and James' body could no longer hold you up. He stopped leaving you hungry but it didn't take him long to put you on all fours on the bed and bury himself again between your legs. In that position you couldn't see him but you could feel his hands on your ass caressing it. “Please, James…” you moaned. You wanted to feel him inside you, ending with that feeling of longing. 

“Again without asking properly.” He turned you over like it was nothing and sat down on the bed. "Maybe you want to show me what you want to do." You didn't even think about it for a second, you laid him down on the bed and got on top of him. You knew how to play too. 

***

His calm breathing gave you peace, you felt a certain pride in thinking that maybe his nightmares knew that someone was watching over his sleep and had decided to give him a truce, at least for that night. A tender smile came over your face, James sleeping like a baby was an image you could burn into your forehead and never tire of.

"Do I have something on my face?" his still half-asleep voice was low and somewhat raspy.

You felt embarrassed, you didn’t expect to be caught drooling over him so soon, at least not at the beginning of your relationship. Wait… Relationship? Was it real? You and he were a thing? Would James be a long-term relationship guy? His track record didn't play in his favor, but the night before he had told you he loved you too. That had to mean more than a one-night stand. 

“Morning.” you murmured a little bit anxious, your own thoughts running like crazy, but then he kissed you on the forehead, sweet and slow. 

“Morning.” he smiled at you, his eyes full of love. “Hope you slept well…”

Then you realized there was shyness in James' words, you weren't the only one who felt vulnerable at a time like that.

“Better than ever.” You smiled back and gave him a quick kiss on his lips. 

“That makes two of us.” he seemed to relax and in that moment you knew he was not playing, that was real. “Oh, now that I remember. I wanted to tell you last night but things got out of hand.” he squeezed against his chest. “I'm going to start a veterans' support group. I ran into a friend from then and he told me that he was running one.” 

You didn't expect him to tell you, in the end, last night was all due, a little bit, to that. You felt stupid. If only you had given him the time... Well, maybe you wouldn't have ended up in his arms and surrounded by his scent. 

“You deserve it.” your hand found his, and intertwined fingers. 

“Yes… I think it’s time to face the past and focus on my future.” he kissed you again this time on the nose. You were excited to face the future with him…

TO LOVE YOU IS KILLING ME

summary :the only person bucky has ever felt seen , loved and cared by is slowing dying and he can only helplessly stand there and watch them go .

inspired by the let me down easy prompt

crds to this challenge goes to @fvckingavengers

Bucky knew he was a difficult person - from the way he unnecessarily had to check all his rooms , closet spaces to little hidey corners in order to stupidly reassure himself every night that he can indeed sleep here or the fact that hydra's taken everything that made him human.

It hurted alot when they took his arm , it hurted even more when they scrambled his mind but it destroyed him most when they took away his ability to feel - to connect to anything remotely human.

It hurts so much to see his teammates hug one another after a successful mission knowing he fully well can't bare to close to someone like that, bruises him to the core when he flinchs like a scared , wounded animal when anyone so much as brushes against him the slightest

This type of agony bucky would wish upon no one - not even his worst enemy. It's such a lonesome life - a life where everyone either avoids him or sends him pitiful looks. He sits alone - wondering - sometimes crying to himself in the lonesome comfort of his home when he ponders on why - why must he be alone ? Is he not worthy of companionship ? Not worthy of feeling connected ? Of feeling attached ?

It came to a high one day when he met you. You were a lonely, ghostly figure whom stood by overhanging cliff - he just so happened to be on a late night run, and naturally , his keen eye spotted your figure encroaching the overhanging cliff.

He immediately sprinted towards you - holding your shoulders , " Excuse me, you need to stand back," he orders. He was met with silence - and for a long moment, bucky had actually thought he was holding a ghost since you were so uncannily still until you slowly backed up towards his chest.

You hadn't said anything yet - didn't have to when you finally turned around to face him - a look of pain and suffering was etched into the contours your face , dark circles prominent under your eyes and your unkept hair kept falling into your face .

Bucky had to hold himself back from practically caressing your face - but decided against it paiinfully aware of how intimate such actions are . He just - something in him wanted to tell yu hat everything would be okay .Silence drags out for a long time - neither daring to speak. " I'm sorry ...you had to see that" your soft voice apologized.

Bucky almost hadn't heard it over the strong wind sweeping in, but thanks to the serum and his intense training, he managed to pick it up. " It's alright " he murmured. A long silence passes by again - this time not awkward like he thought it was - it was one of mutual understanding.

A while passes by, and finally, your figure turns away from him and retreats away in the night's smokey blanket . Bucky stands there as he watches your figure disappears before he himself retreats back home.

The next time he sees you - it is at the cliff - this time he's there first. It's late in the evening and few days has passed since that incident , the dark blue , rough waves crash against the black jaggery cliffs beneath him , in the distance the golden sun was setting - casting an angelic halo across the pink , orange sky above him.

His hands sunk further into the worn pockets of his leather jacket as he intently watches over the cliff - today was exhausting for him - too many meetings- too many eyes looking at him , too many eyes staring at him , too many eyes trying to pry him apart.

He inhales, and his head immediately snaps when he hears shoes crouching on fallen leaves. He spun around - alert , reading to take out the threat only to be met with your slumped figure approaching him.

He observed your hands tucked in your own hoodie , oversized pants that bellowed in the wind . Your worn-out sneakers had ducktape stuck on in odd angles, but somehow, to Bucky ,you had managed to upstage even the prettiest models even when you look like you don't try.

You approached him calmly - as if he wasn't some treat - as if he wasn't capable of ending your life in a matter of seconds. You stopped beside him and took in the view , " Didn't expect you here," you murmured as your eyes taken in the shoreline.

Bucky doesn't say anything at first- it feels weird to him that someone is actually talking to him - not out of pity , not because he is expected to do something, not because it's mission related but out of genuine interest.

The words die in Becky's throat - how strange - he was a warrior capable of so much - how disappointing he couldn't talk to you like they wsy he oh so confidently did before the war. He mustered everything within himself to answer you , " I just like the view" . You were silent , pursued your lips as you kept staring out into the vastness. " Me too" you finally answered.

From then on - every other day , bucky looked forward to seeing you by the piere where he could indulge in your comforting silence and non judgemental presence. Bucky notices himself always feeling more relaxed around you - it started subtle at first - like his fingers going on their own accord to intertwine with your own whenever you stood next to each other .

And gradually he's become accustomed to leaning on your shoulders. Most times you both didn't talk - didn't have to because you both understood each other through silence and slow touches you both bestow upon one another.

One day - one particular day you were staring off into the setting sun - face held grim . Bucky held his tongue- of course he's noticed but knows better than to push you for answers - too scared you don't come back to him or worse hate him if he did. " Don't get too attached to me" You said abuptedly disturbing the tranquility.

Bucky looks at you strangely , " Name, don't be ridiculous" he says as a matter of fact . Name doesn't say anything else after that - just opting to squeeze his hand again.

Days pass by - bucky has yet to visit to piere, too busy being wrapped up in mission after mission. Months pass by like this and finally- he visits the piere , a handful of forget me nots were in one hand , his face wears a smug smile .

He's in a good mood - for once he's approaching this piere with eagerness - he's confident that he feels something for you - confident that he wants to further what you both have - confident to finally tell someone I love you.

He spots your figure already there, and he eagerly speeds walk there . He back hugs you once he's close enough, and you simply pat his hand. " Name, I miss you," He confesses. Name gives him a small smile " Pierre's is always lonely without you " ( I miss you too) Bucky smiles.

As he hands you the forget me nots, " I have something to tell you " He says - shy but determined. You face him and tilted your head. Bucky coughs , " Name - it's been Years since I've met someone who's wanted me for me , who can see me for me - be there because I am me , I thought for a long time that I didn't deserve any happiness until I met you , Name ....I love you" Bucky confesses.

Name smile , " Bucky..I love you too but I told you not to get attached to me " You say with a somber smile . Bucky holds you , " What do you mean Name?" He enquires , eyes furrowed.

Name weakly reaches to touch his face but suddenly erupts in hoarse coughing fits causing her to bend over. Bucky holds name but her figure is already limply falling to the ground. " Name ?!" He exclaims as he crouches down to examine you.

" Bucky, I'm sorry, but I love you," you confess - this time coughing up blood in between. " and I'm sorry you had to love me". Bucky fishes out his burner phone and immediately starts calling Tony when reader reaches out her hands onto his to stop him " Please no - I'm right where I want to be" reader whispers as she leant onto his shoulders.

Bucky holds them." Name - name. What's going on ? Let me get you the help you need !!" Bucky exclaims in a panic. Name's head began lolling off his side , "mhmm, don't need anything - just want you to lay me down slowly," readers mumbles - drifting in-between consciousness.

Bucky shakes them' in attempts to wake them, ' Name - Name, please ! Please answer me !!" He says as he frantically shakes them. Moments passed, and Bucky began to feel their corpse grow cold in his hold. Bucky, let's out streams of tears - it practically dalls onto your facxe , staining it causing him cry even more. He can't believe your gone - slipped through his fingers , ensnared by death .

He numbly stands up with your corpse in hand as he begins to descend the rocky cliffs towards the shoreline.

Bucky knows he can't promise being good. He can't promise not to let Winter Soldier reek havoc , can't even promise you to not get too attached in the first place. Now , he slowly approaches the calm seashore , the waves calm , gentle embraces his presence as he walks through them like a knife.

Water bunches around him as he descends further , your body in tow as he reaches as deep as he can get, he can't promise to be a good man after this but he can promise to let you down as easy as he can .

He lowers your body into the waves gently , watching as it encases you like a cacoon and eagerly carry you away from him. A part of him wants to scream , claw and be angry at you - how dare you make him love you, how dare you fix him only to leave but a major part of him doesn't regret loving you and doesn't regret you fixing him.

Just because you're gone now doesn't mean that bucky won't stop loving and mourning you.

Ty for reading. Please like , comment, + share !!

✨ fvckingavengers’ new year writing challenge ✨

happy 2025, friends! a goal i have for this year is to create more content for you guys to read after a 4 year hiatus. music really helps me to get the creative juices flowing, so i thought i'd make a list of some lyric prompts. whether you write smut, angst, fluff, or a beautiful combination of these and other tropes, i hope you find something that sparks inspiration. if nothing else, you can get some solid music recs because i have good taste. *cue glinda's toss toss hair flip*

there are no rules or deadlines. i do ask, that if you are interested that you please reblog this post.

lastly, please feel free to send me a prompt that you would like to read in my writing style as well! i mostly write smut/angst about Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier, Steve Rogers/Nomad!Steve, and Dean Winchester. but i with the right prompt, I could be persuaded to write for Peter Parker, Thor, Loki, ect. (really depends lolololol)

happy writing!! 🥰

fleetwood mac: gold dust woman - well, did she make you cry / make you breakdown / shatter your illusions of love / and is it over now? do you know how to pick up the pieces and go home silver springs - time cast a spell on you / but you won't forget me / i know i could have loved you, but you would not let me / i'll follow you down til the sound of my voice can haunt you / you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you

nothing but thieves: is everybody going crazy? - in this wounded, sinister place we've only got each other / the sky is crashing down, i know it's strange, but heaven's a mindset away // it would feel so good to steal some time / it would feel so good to make you mine miracle, baby - you need a miracle, baby, but i wouldn't wait too long, it's not gonna save you / seen any miracles lately? they hardly ever come along/ i need a miracle, baby

florance + the machine: seven devils - holy water cannot help you now / see, i've come to burn your kingdom down / and no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out / i'm gonna raise the stakes, i'm gonna smoke you out // seven devils all around you, seven devils in your house / see, i was dead when i woke up this morning and i'll be dead before the day is done cosmic love - the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out / you've left me in the dark / no dawn, no day, i'm always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart

nial horan: too much to ask - my shadow's dancing without you for the first time / my heart is hoping you walk right in tonight / tell me there are things that you regret / 'cause if i'm being honest i ain't over you yet small talk - tell me what you want because you know i want it, too / let's skip all the small talk and go straight up to your room / i've been thinking what i'd do when i'm alone with you / just say nothing, small talk only gets in the way

gracie abrams: i love you, i'm sorry - 'cause that's just the way life goes / i push my luck, it shows / thankful you don't send someone to kill me // the way life goes / joyriding down our road / lay on the horn to prove that it haunts me us. feat taylor swift - the curse or the miracle / hearse or an oracle / you're incomparable, fuck, it was chemical / you plus me was us that's so true - made it out alive, but i think i lost it / said that i was fine, i said it from my coffin / remember how i died when you started walking

maroon 5: harder to breathe - when it's cold outside and you got nobody to love / you'll understand what i mean when i say there's no way we're gonna give up / and like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dream / is there anyone out there? 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe secret - i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad / everyone has a secret, oh, can they keep it? oh no, they can't // i ask you how hot can it get? and as you wipe of beads of sweat slowly you say, "i'm not there yet" animals - you're like a drug that's killing me, i cut you out entirely / but i get so high when i'm inside you

miley cyrus: plastic hearts - i can be whoever you want me to be / love me now, but not tomorrow / fill me up, but leave me hollow / pull me in, but don't you get too close angels like you - i know that you're wrong for me / gonna wish we never met on the day i leave / i brought you down to your knees, 'cause they say that misery loves company / it's not your fault i ruin everything / and it's not your fault i can't be what you need / baby, angels like you can't fly down hell with me / i'm everything they said i would be gimme what i want - sweat drippin' down to the floor / bite marks like an animal / you might be insane / but maybe we're the same / tonight you came here 'cause you know what i need and no one likes to be alone

teddy swims:

lose control - problem is when i'm with you i'm an addict / and i need some relief / my skin in your teeth / can't see the forest through the trees / got me down on my knees, darling, please // i lose control when you're not next to me / i'm falling apart right in front of you, can't you see? hammer to the heart - just because you're staying over, doesn't mean that you're forgiven // baby, i'm helpless, baby / porcelain in your hands, bound to fall about/you know how to break me bad dreams - without you, there ain't no place for me to hide / without you, there's no way i can sleep tonight

daisy jones & the six: look at us now (honeycomb) - we unraveled a long time ago / we lost and we couldn't let it go / i wish it was easy, but it isn't so / oh,we can make a good thing bad let me down easy - if you're gonna let me down, let me down easy / if you're gonna let me down / don't you go and tell me that you loved me while you're leaving / if you're gonna leave me now you were gone - how about we turn it off? / just flip the switch and walk away / every story has an ending / and it's not our job to stay / now, how about we turn it off ? /just forget it like it's gone / we'll forget about the way you turn me on the river - if i follow you to the river / send my blues out to the sea / will you stay with me forever? / will you chase me in my dreams? / if i throw it all in the river / and let the rhythm take the lead / will it stay with you and never let you leave on me?

paramore/hayley williams: thick skull - i am a magnet for broken pieces / i am attracted to broken people / i pick them up and now my fingers are bleeding / and it looks like my fault ignorance - i'm just a person but you can't take it / the same tricks that, that once fooled me / they won't get you anywhere / i'm not the same kid from your memory / well, now i can fend for myself crushcrushcrush - if you wanna play it like a game, well, come on, come on, let's play / 'cause i'd rather waste my life pretending than have to forget you for one whole minute you first - everyone is a bad guy and there's no way, no way to know who's the worst / karma's gonna come for all of us and i hope, well, i hope, i just hope she comes for you first idle worship - oh, no, i ain't your hero / you're waiting all your faith on me / oh, no, i know where this goes / think it's safe to say your savior doesn't look a thing like me

taylor swift:

august - i can see us lost in the memory /august slipped away into a moment in time / 'cause it was never mine / and i can see us twisted in bedsheets / august sipped away like a bottle of wine / 'cause you were never mine

maroon - when the silence came we were shaking, blind, and hazy / how the hell did we lose sight of us again / sobbing with your head in your hands / ain't that the way shit always ends

castles crumbling - my foes and friends watch my reign end / i don't know how it could have ended this way /smoke billows from my ships in the harbor / people look at me like i'm a monster / now they're screaming at the palace front gates / used to chant my name/now they're screaming that they hate me / never wanted you to hate me i can see you - i can see you waiting down the hall from me / i can see you up against the wall with me // i can see you throw your jacket on the floor / i can see you make me want you even more / what would you do, baby, if you only knew, that i can see you // i can see you being my addiction / you can see me as a secret mission so it goes… - i'm yours to keep / and i'm yours to lose / you know i'm not a bad girl, but i do bad things with you / come here, dressed in black now / so it goes/scratches down your back now/so it goes… new year's day - please don't ever become a stranger who's laugh i could recognize anywhere so long, london - and you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it / my white knuckle dying grip / holding tight to your quite resentment / my friends said it isn't right to be scared / every day of a love affair / every breath feels like rarest air / when you're not sure if he wants to be there

my boy only breaks his favorite toys - my boy only breaks his favorite toys / i'm queen of sand castles he destroys / 'cause i knew too much / there was danger in the heat of my touch / he saw forever so he smashed it up

don't blame me - don't blame me / love made me crazy / if it doesn't, you ain't doing it right / lord save me, my drug is my baby / i'll be using for the rest of my life // and baby, for you i would fall from grace / just to touch your face / if you walk away / i'd beg you on my knees to stay

i can fix him (no really i can) - good boy / that's right / come close/i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel / all night/trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man / no really i can

florida!!! - i need to forget so take me to florida / i got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida / tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable / what a crash, what a rush / fuck me up, florida / it's one hell of a drug

haunted - you and i walk a fragile line / i have known it all this time but i never thought i'd live to see it break

the prophecy - please i've been on my knees / change the prophecy / don't want money / just someone who wants my company / let it once be me / who do i have to speak to about if they can redo the prophecy

wonderland - you searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had / and in the end, in wonderland, we both went mad

i know places - they are the hunters, we are the foxes / and we run / just grab my hand and don't ever drop it / my love // baby, i know places we won't be found / they'll be chasing their tails trying to track us down / 'cause i, i know places we can hide

fortnight - i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me // i took the miracle move-on drug but the effects were temporary / and i love you, it's ruining my life

the black dog - old habits die screaming // six weeks of breathing clean air, i still miss the smoke illicit affairs - you wanna scream don't call me "kid" / don't call me "baby" / look at this godforsaken mess that you made me // and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times this is me trying - my words shoot to kill when i'm mad / i have a lot of regrets about that // it's hard to be anywhere these days when all i want is you the great war - it turned into something bigger / somewhere in the haze, had a sense i'd been betrayed / your finger on my hairpin trigger / soldier down on that icy ground / looked up at me with honor and truth / broken and blue, so i called off the troops / that was the night i nearly lost you false god - we might just get away with it / religion's in your lips / even if it's a false god / we'd still worship / we might just get away with it / the alter is my hips / even if it's a false god / we'd still worship this love

misc: daydreaming by harry styles - stay unil the morning, 'cause, baby, loving you's the real thing / it just feels right / so give me all of your love, give me something to dream about the summoning by sleep token - oh, and my love / did i mistake you for a sign from god? / or are you really here to cast me off? / or maybe just to turn me on? / 'cause these days, i would be lying if i told you that / i didn't wish that i could be your man / or maybe make a good girl bad wildflower by billie eilish - but i see her in the back of my mind / all the time / like a fever, like i'm burning alive / like a sign / did i cross the line? push me over by maren morris - necklace rests just so on your collarbone / makes me want to know how your perfume smells on me later // want you in my bed 'cause i dont need more friends / the more that you come closer, want you to push me over get stoned by hinder - let's go home and get stoned / we could end up makin' love instead of misery / go home and get stoned / 'cause the sex is so much better when you're mad at me heavy by powers - it's heavy / heavy how i want you so bad / heavy when it hits me so fast / heavy and it's driving me mad / that i'm never gonna give you up addicted by kelly clarkson - i'm hooked on you, i need a fix, i can't take it / just one more hit, i promise i can deal with it / i'll handle it, quit it, just one more time then that's it / just a little bit more to get me through this in the middle of the night by elley duhe' - in the middle of the night / just call my name, i'm yours to tame / in the middle of the night / i'm wide awake, i crave your taste blame brett by the beaches - i'm sorry in advance / i'm only gonna treat you bad / i'm probably gonna let you down / i'm probably gonna sleep around / so sorry in advance / before you take off your pants / i wouldn't let me near your friends / i wouldn't let me near your dad / but don't blame me, blame brett / blame my ex, blame my ex, blame my ex ego talking by fletcher - hope my lips haunt you for life, hearing my name twists the knife / hoping you stay brokenhearted / but that's just my ego talkin' 63 days by atlas genius - i told you i would race home if you need me / in for the long chase / i'll make you believe daylight by david kushner - this lust is a burden that we both share / two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer / souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt celebrity skin by hole - honeysuckle, shes made of poison / she obliterated everything she kissed ceilings by lizzy mcalpine - bedsheets, no clothes / touch me like nobody else does / lovely to just lay here with you / you're kinda cute, and i would say all of this / but i don't wanna ruin the moment / lovely to sit between comfort and chaos disease by lady gaga - screamin' for me baby / like your gonna die / poison on the inside, i could be your antidote tonight

lifeguard!bucky x reader: motel 6

my inspiration for this imagine:

dare short film

overall motel aesthetic

a oneshot that got taken down (I was quite sad so I needed to fill that void)

american dad season 10, ep. 6: this indie movie episode

the last days have been quite chaotic: you stranding in a random city cause your car broke down. luckily there was a motel close by so you checked in. it was a really nice motel, the indie summer vibes not fading away. you car still is somewhere to get fixed so you need to wait in this city till it's done. but not everything is entirely bad: you've started liking the lifeguard at the motel's pool. you went to the pool everyday, enjoying the sun and maybe also the tall man with brown shoulder length hair and azure eyes, roaming over the pool's surface to be sure that nobody drowns.

you also went to the pool at night cause it was empty, quiet and peaceful. this night though, you weren't left alone. you were currently sitting at the edge of the pool, legs in the water. you have your dirty pj on since you're a bit self conscious and also just to lazy to change or care. you actually didn't notice him at the beginning since you were caught up with your thoughts and the water moving.

"can't sleep or do you just wanna relax?", you hear a smooth, yet husky voice saying. you flinch a bit and turn around to see him. "I just like the peacefulness when no ones there", you answer with a flutter in your heart. "why are you here?" "same reason. and also cause it's nice to just go for a swim without needing to take care that no one drowns." he dives into the water smoothly. he resurfaces and drags his hand through his hair. you look at him in a somewhat dreamy gaze as you breathe in the summer night air deeply. "I never got to know your name since I got here some days ago", you say after awhile. "my name is James but call me Bucky", he answers as he swooshes around the water to stay afloat. "I'm Yami", you smile at him as you can't seem to get your eyes off of him.

you two stay quiet as you exchange smiles and laughs. he dives in the pool as you watch his every move, his muscles moving, stretching, tensing and relaxing. coming back up for air, he notices that you still look at him but you don't seem to really "be there", your head in the clouds. "something on your mind Yami?", he asks as he gets closer to investigate your face. you fall out of your dreamy trance, looking away for the first time. "actually yes, I have a lot of things on my mind currently but only one thing sticks out right now", you tell him with a bit of sadness in your eyes but also bliss and peace, the motel feeling like an escape from reality, a little break that wasn't planned. "would you mind to tell me?" he is quite close to you now, looking through wet strands of brunette hair with cerulean eyes. "do you promise me not to judge?" "I won't judge you, you can trust me doll." you grin at the nickname and take a deep breath, trying to calm down. "I have a liking for someone but they don't know. it's also quite tough since I've broken up with my boyfriend recently, sorry for getting so dark and deep." you look at the water surface as the water carefully moves around in small waves. "a boy or a girl?" he asks, interested in your problems, looking at you with soft features. "it's a boy this time. I don't know him but I would like to get to know him but I'm worried he might find me weird and creepy since one did in my past." "I understand you completely and I know what it feels like to be humiliated or feel rejected." he said with a caring face, flashing you a soft smile. you slip into the water carefully and you both swim more into the middle of the pool. "thanks for understanding and listening." you smile as you look at him. he inches closer to you.

"I noticed you sparing me glances in the course of the last days, don't think I haven't seen you daydreaming while looking at me." he smirks a bit as you look shocked, feeling embarassed by actually getting caught. you accept it though, cause you were quite bad at hiding it. "I'm sorry for that it's just...that you're quite attractive. I'm really sorry if you felt uncomfortable by that." he pulls you closer, mere inches apart, your skin touching his. "don't worry, I don't mind.", he answers as he does something you wouldn’t have expected but have dreamed of the last nights and days: he carefully leaned in and kissed you softly, his lips slightly wet. the kiss was passionate but ended to soon. he pulled away slowly, opening his eyes, his wet lashes sticking together in little traingles. you smile at him and lean your head on his shoulder. "you feel the same or was it just to make me feel better? whatever you say, it made me happier. thank you, Bucky." he chuckles and smiles at you, caressing your wet hair. "it's both" you chuckle as well, feeling hopeful for the first time in ages, the night endulging you in it's cooler (but still hot) air.

I haven't proof-read this so sorry if I have some typos in there