Francis Abernathy

Tracey Emin, My Dead Body - A Trace Of Life, 2024, London

the years by alex dimitrov

I don’t want a degree anymore I want a nap

you're allowed to be messy, you're allowed to fuck up, you can be emotional and stupid and frantic and confusing and weird and any other embarrassing thing. anyone who makes you feel otherwise, or who makes you feel like you're walking on egg shells, like you're doomed if you slip up, they shouldn't be such a big part of your life.

[oh how fast the evening passes

cleaning up the champagne glasses]

“I know, I know, but hear me out. You read The Idiot, right? Right. Well, ‘Idiot’ was a very disturbing book to me. In fact it was so disturbing I have never really read very many fictions after, apart from Dragon Tattoo kind of thing. Because” - I was trying to interject - “well, maybe you can tell me about that later, what you thought, but let me tell you why I found it disturbing. Because all Myshkin ever did was good…unselfish…he treated all persons with understanding and compassion and what resulted from this goodness? Murder! Disaster! I used to worry about this a lot. Lie awake at night and worry! Because - why? How could this be? I read that book like three times, thinking I wasn’t understanding right. Myshkin was kind, loved by everyone, he was tender, always forgave, he never did a wrong thing - but he trusted all the wrong people, made all bad decisions, hurt everyone around him. Very dark message to this book. ‘Why be good’. But - this is what took hold on me last night, riding here in the car. What is - is more complicated than that? What if maybe opposite is true as well? Because, if bad can sometimes come from good actions - ? where does it ever say, anywhere, that only bad can come from bad actions? Maybe sometimes - the wrong way is the right way? You can take the wrong path and it still comes out where you want to be? Or, spin it another way, sometimes you can do everything wrong and it still turns out to be right?”

The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt

when in the woods somewhere by hozier started playing i felt it

— 𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙤𝙩 «𝙚𝙡𝙞 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧» 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙖𝙡𝙚 & 𝙫𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧 𝙫𝙖𝙡𝙚.

«𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦, 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘣𝘢𝘥𝘭𝘺, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘢𝘱 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭, 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵.»

«𝘪𝘧 𝘦𝘭𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘰, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢 𝘷𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘯?»

«𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘪'𝘮 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯,» 𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥. «𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨.» 

Honestly? They didn’t just fuck over Q, they fucked over pretty much all of them.

They fucked over Margo. Margo who had the whole arc about her inner strength, who gave up her fucking crown, who picked black sand for days on end. Margo who would kill and die for her best friend, her soul mate. They had her watch a fish. When everything was going down she was stuck watching a goddamn fish. Fish who was Josh, who was artificially forced into a relationship with her. Want to know a harsh truth? Margo would let him die if it meant keeping El safe.

They fucked over Alice. Alice who spent the first part of the season trying to figure out herself. Who went out of her mother’s shadow, who tried so hard to do good with her magic. Who needed to forgive herself. But she wasn’t allowed to figure out who she is outside of her relationship with Q. They were messily forced together even if it didn’t make sense for them anymore. Just to create more angst.

They fucked over Kady. Kady who was supposed to be a leader, who was so determined to save hedges from the library. Kady who could be so much more. And yet they’ve decided to drop that plot completely. They’ve decided that all she’s ever wanted was to be Penny’s girlfriend.

They fucked over Fen. Fen who finally got more growth, who got to be more than El’s wife. Who had prophetic visions, who could have been an excellent high king. But no, she was overthrown off scene.

They fucked over Julia. Julia who already went through so much shit. Who was a goddess, who sacrificed herself to bring magic back. Julia whose arc was supposed to be about choice. They took away that, they made her into an overglorified shield. In the end her choice was made by a man.

I don’t even want to talk about how much they fucked over Eliot, we all know that.