Hi I Really Love Your Save Everyone Au And It Has Me Hyper Fixated On It For A Week Now! My Personal

Hi I really love your save everyone au and it has me hyper fixated on it for a week now! My personal question is does Angel ever have nightmares about the factory and their ptsd so badly that they actually wake up and start crying? How would the toys react? Also, how would the toys react if they found out Angel had any self harming coping mechanisms? (Sorry if that is too sensitive, I actually have self harmed myself when I felt like my existence was just making everyone around me miserable. And a I was going through a lot of stress at the time. I am actually 1 month clean now which I am super proud of. I hope you have a wonderful day and I appreciate you reading and potentially responding to my ask :DDDDDD

You got hyperfixated?! Oh my God 🥺💝😭!!!! I'm so glad you have been enjoying it, please don't be afrad to send me more asks and interact with my posts! I saw your comment on the AO3 fanfic and it made my day!

BEFORE WE START THIS, I just want to let you know that I'm so proud of you for going one entire month clean!!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! The answer will be under the cut just for the safety of other people reading this, so let's go!

In the past, when my own trauma was still super fresh and I was alone, I unfortunately also had problems relating to self-harm and bad coping mechanisms. It was bad!!!! I have been clean for some time as well, thankfully, but I have been projecting some of that trauma juice(tm) over the toys, Prototype and Angel. And Angel, oh, dear...

I imagine they get some Awful nightmares. They had some during the past decade, but Angel thought of them more as stress dreams than "proper" nightmares related to their PTSD from their coworkers going missing. After the rescue, however, they do get actual nightmares related to their new trauma. They involve the toys being captured and/or taken away from Angel, Angel failing to save them, and the toys they couldn't save staring at them and asking them why didn't they come to the factory during those 10 long, long years. I think it's a matter of time until Angel can't prevent themself from waking up when another toy is already awake and breaking down in tears. Angel would try putting on a brave face, smiling softly as they always do and trying to help the toy to go back to sleep, but it doesn't work.

I think that the first one to see Angel like this is Dogday. Angel wakes up trying to reach to something - or rather, someone -, thinking for a moment their kids were taken away from them. Dogday asks them what's up, Angel tries to brush it off, but they're already crying at this point before Dogday gives them a hug.

When Angel eventually wakes up (Dogday is still good at luring others to sleep, despite all the horrors), they apologize to Dogday, but the big pup is already on high alert for what Angel has next. He tells Poppy, Mommy Long Legs, Delight and Catnap about it so everyone can make a plan on how to comfort Angel. They inevitably wake up in tears again some days later, but this time Dogday isn't the only one awake. I think that the older toys all hug Angel, because they know what it's like to be like this and they want to give Angel some of the kindness they gave to them. Angel ends up breaking down in tears before thanking the group.

During the decade post-HoJ, Angel did develop some self-harm habits. They have some scars they gave themself, and one really nasty one on their belly area from the time they got themself drunk and fell down on some glass. After that, Angel's family begged them to go to therapy. They still drink and still like drinking, but they never got to the point they were before. They also quit self-harm and have been doing clean for around 6 years before returning to the factory.

After the rescue, I think Angel's bad habits creep out again with drinking, some smoking and them overworking themself to take care of the toys. This time they're able to do a work-around their smoking and drinking problems before they could get as bad as before, but it's the toys and the Prototype who have to force Angel to sit down before scolding them with phrases like "how are you supposed to be the parent if you don't rest??? Uh???? UHHH????"

Angel's skin also gets really bad whenever they're stressed - the problem started from their first big trauma -, and post-rescue it sometimes comes back. Angel is more annoyed than worried at this point in time, thankfully.

I think Prototype is the first to take notice of Angel's scars. It's when Angel goes to "visit" him to drink a tiny bit and talk about the kids. It's summer, and Angel takes off their shirt and is only with a pair of baggy shorts + a binder Crafty made for them. The conversation is going as normal as it could be, when all of a sudden Proto just GRABS Angel's arm and asks them about the scars. Angel sighs. "These are old", Prototype takes notice. "Far too old and clean".

"You know why, don't you?", Angel asks. "I did those myself".

"Why?"

There's a pause. Angel sighs. "Because that's everything that helped me deal with the pain of losing all of my coworkers", they confess, not wanting to sound accusatory, not wanting to feel like a coward for doing that instead of running back to the factory (but again, Angel was never a coward. It's the trauma reshaping their own view of themself). "I got better. I don't do this anymore, the kids aren't at risk of my own lack of care for myself".

Prototype is silent for a moment. "I did no ask because of the children. I asked because of you".

Then, he points at his own body, both at the flesh and the wires and metal that made him himself. And although the hut's lights aren't the strongest, Angel can see some marks.

"I was often careless on purpose", Proto confesses. "Focusing on the physical pain helped more than remembering the children I doomed due to my own egoism. Protecting the few I could was all that mattered. I did not care about this body. Sometimes, I still don't".

Angel nods. They both understand what it is like. The human then drinks from their bottle of water, staring at nothing.

"It did get better for me", they tell the Prototype. "Been clean for seven years at this point. One day your scars will be old, too".

Prototype, too, drinks water. "You give me no option but to believe in your words, Angel".

"Good", they nod. "Your only way is up. Never down".

"Or, at least, never as down as we both were in the past".

That's when the human smiles. "That, too".

I can imagine one day during the summer where the family is playing with water guns and throwing water balloons at each other when a toy (maybe Bobby, Poppy, Catnap or even Bunzo) points at one of Angel's scars, asking them if they got that at the factory, and Angel takes one look at the almost-gone cut before replying that it wasn't because of the family's rescue, but something they did to themself post losing their coworkers. "I wasn't feeling well", they explain. "And doing that helped me deal with the pain, even though it hurt me. But I got better. I don't hurt myself anymore".

"Because you have us?", Bunzo asks, innocently.

"Not just that, bunny", they reply, petting him on the head. "I asked people for help and went to a nice doctor, so they could help me. And they did. It's been seven years since I last hurt myself".

"Oh...", and then Delight, covered in water, takes notice of the scar and explanation. She politely touches Angel's arms, before petting them.

"It healed very well", she notes.

"I know, right? I never told it would get this good, but it did. And now I guess it'll be your turn as well", and Angel then grabs a water gun and SPLASHED Delight, causing her to laugh and attack them back.

Later on, when Angel is helping Kissy try up, they feel Catnap headbonking their back. The feline licks Angel's arm before sitting next to them, just like how Dogday himself playfully did that just some hours before, in order to "kiss it better". Angel thanks Catnap, of course, before petting him.

They're glad for having them.