Who Says You Can’t Have Femboys And Eat Their Cake Too

Mom, I know what I'll say at your funeral.

I'll tell them three good memories of you. One of you showing me moonflowers.

One of you accidentally admitting to smoking pot in college, blushing and running away. Denying it from then on.

My earliest memory, your finger running over the words of books as you read them.

Then I'll tell them how you put the rabbits outside in their hutch when I could see they were terrified of being in the hot open air. How I begged you not to again and again. Finding their stiff, still bodies when I came home. How you left them alone out there and their hearts couldn't take it.

I wonder what the one who died last thought. I wonder how many hours they were alone, baking, terrified.

I'll tell them about how I found two kittens next to an empty cloth sack in the river. How I never knew if the others had run or just washed away.

I cleaned them and fed them, they were old enough to eat. Old enough to fight and survive. Still so wobbly, so covered in dirt and fleas and their own shit. I gently washed both of them, pet them, showed them kindness.

You called every friend you had to get someone to take them. Eventually they left to be farm cats. I could have run and hid with them, stolen them food- you had already started calling me fat and hiding any food it was easy for a child to make themselves. I knew the taste of baking ingredients, I knew how to steal better. I could have stolen for them. I could have run and kept them. They could have been mine.

But I didn't even understand that I could have just run yet. And I realized how much better they would have it somewhere else, even if it was just as farm cats. I sent them away to live a better life than I could in that house.

I once saw my babysitter being beaten by her father, I was only 12 and she went away to college the next year. I didn't trust my mom enough to tell her, and who else was there to tell? I learned to hide and avoid problems from my Dad, and she was his anchor. Wrapped right around his neck.

If you're young and reading this, just survive. Just get away. College is one way, don't let them talk you into taking extra classes - then move to another county and never pay it back. It'll be cheaper.

Or just run. Find a group that will help you through the Internet and go.

Or sign up to work on a cargo ship the second you turn 18.

Just don't stay there. Don't be like those rabbits dying on the porch, trapped. You're a human. You can open the cage and run. Just keep going one direction. Be kind when you can, but be free first

@gaugevectormoron this was just too good to leave in the tags. Also yay it turns out I’m not alone in this specific oddity of mine :D

I have a question: has anyone else tried using their boobs’ nipples to scroll on a touchscreen or is this an insane person activity I have just attempted?

I tried to google it but it’s a pretty unsearchable query.

Eh all programming languages are good for certain use cases (aside from Java - Kotlin is better for android and Go is better for anything else).

Python is good at quick and dirty automation that just needs to get done. It’s very friendly to use and won’t pout at you when you ask it do something. Also once you learn to navigate pandas+numpy combined with Jupyter Notebooks it gets wayyyy faster and easier to use for data wrangling.

For example, I recently used Python to scrape hundreds of thousands of tweets via snscrape without having to use twitter’s API. Once I downloaded all the tweets it took me about 30 minutes to then do some basic analysis/labeling/sorting on said tweets.

Yes pip is terrible. Yes Python has only a hint of types (typescript style type hinting arrived in 3.something). Yes pickle creates so many vulnerabilities. Yes performant Python is basically C in a trench coat.

All that said, there’s a reason Python is many people’s first typed programming language and why I continue to use it whenever I have some data I have to fetch, transform, and analyze or whenever I’m just starting to explore a new field of computer science.

Writing Python is basically like writing pseudo code so I love it for anything that I just need to code up and run once or twice for either a proof of concept before moving to a more “serious” language or just discard the program is for my one-time personal use only.

No one should ever have to maintain more than 1k lines of Python but I will still occasionally write that much Python simply because it lets me explore high level techniques without worrying about being perfectly precise.

Python is not for production but instead for messing around. Python is that goofy ahh language that everyone likes because it doesn’t mind when you affectionately mess with it. Python is the adorable sidekick that makes programming fun again and for that I adore it

Java is a trash language that should burn in the parts of hell where hitler is

Rust on the other hand is a bratty lil language that should burn in the parts of hell where queers party

Java is a trash language that should burn in the parts of hell where hitler is

Rust on the other hand is a bratty lil language that should burn in the parts of hell where queers party

I just wanna feel soft fingers and sharp nails below my chin, drawing my attention up to a beautiful fem and then watch as they lean in, meanwhile my vision thins; fireworks ignite within.

My hair tangling around their touch, I’m totally undone. They pull away, my heart aches as I know I must wait. I feel a soft exhale of warmth before they pull me in again, my brain oozing away as I know I’m theirs for the rest of today. I’m so so lucky to have such a lovely fae~

This reminds me of my silly little web projects where I’d just play around with distance functions or GPGPU or whatever

Lyrics that promised us the riches of heaven were written by the engineers of our own public hell.

-Sophiline Cheam Shapiro

From her essay, “Songs My Enemies Taught Me”

Sopheline Cheam Shapiro was 8 years old when the Khmer Rouge invaded Phnom Penh and took power in Cambodia. She is a classically trained Cambodian dancer and above she was writing about the propagandist lyrics sung in Cambodia, lyrics perpetuated by the Khmer Rouge. Those lyrics promised growth and prosperity and those promises turned out to be empty for Shapiro.

If you want to read more, PBS have interviewed and written about her:

made this tiny edit to this work by @​mxsparks@oulipo.social, so now it's a very convoluted dual language pun

guess this is an art blog now /j

Reap - To terminate a child process that has previously exited, thereby removing it from the process table.

Until a child process is reaped, it may be listed in the process table as a zombie or defunct process.

Zombie (process) - zombie process or defunct process is a process that has completed execution (via the exit system call) but still has an entry in the process table: it is a process in the "Terminated state".

Daemon - a computer program that runs as a background process, rather than being under the direct control of an interactive user.

bring back the era of whimsy that gave us "reap", "zombie", and "daemon" as technical terms in CS

Fuck.