Why Don’t We Just Call The Sam And Tory Ship The Bonsai Brides

Eli’s getting ‘hawk tuah’d to death

If Cobra Kai took place in 2024 would the teen characters use brainrot terms (either unironically or ironically) bc I think they would

I’m so mad rn cus I missed an opportunity in season 2 of Cobra Kai the musical to have a Miguel and Robby duet that focuses on their relationships with Tory and Sam respectively, it would be When I See Him-esque. The way I even have lyrics thought up too-

Get dressed, look your best, make an effort, be appealing

Freshen up, pray for luck, and ignore that nagging feeling

That you’re doing something wrong, that you’re stringing her along

That you’re still deeply in love with you know who

Robby: Just let me take care of Kenny's training, Sensei Kreese, he'll be my responsibility.

Kreese: ...alright, but no monkey business.

Five Days Later

Robby: And then swing, yuh- Kenny: And then swing, yuh- Robby and Kenny: And then swing, yuh, AND THEN SWING YUUUUUUU-

All 2 U - Demetri's Ver.

I let it go long, I let you stray too far

Now I know, now I know, now I know exactly what you are

Na-na-na-na-na-na, a motherfucker

Na-na-na-na-na-na, a motherfucker

I don't think you meant to hurt me

'Cause I don't think it meant a thing at all

At all, at all, at all

At all, at all, at all

At all, at all, to you

Na na na, na na, na

The motherfucker

Na na na, na na, na

The motherfucker

I never saw your scars

I never knew your pain

Now I know, now I know

Now I know we’ll never be the same

But I, I keep on waiting

Waiting to miss you less than I do

And I do, oh, I do, yes I still do miss you

But maybe it's all on me

Dismissing every sigh and every glance and every turn

No, no, no, he's a motherfucker

Maybe there's something here for us to glean

For you to teach and me to try and learn

No, no, no, he's a motherfucker

'Cause you may never change, but I can’t help but yearn 

What if I’d been by your side?

What if I’d noticed the signs?

What if we just don’t align?

All this what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if

Why, why, why, why why why, makes me BURN!

I don't think you meant to hurt me

'Cause I don't think it meant a thing at all!

Well, did it?

No, not at all

At all, at all, at all

Didn't mean a, didn't mean a

At all, at all, at all

Didn't mean a, didn't mean a

At all, at all to you

Na na na, na na, na

The motherfucker

Na na na, na na, na

The motherfucker

Na na na, na na, na

The motherfucker...

Hot Take: The ‘Oh, I need more powers to be worth something’ plotline in Elite Force should’ve went to Chase instead of Bree

Cobra Kai Christmas special except there’s no karate, it’s just Miguel and Kenny clamoring to find Robby a Christmas present because they have no idea what he would want for Christmas

How it feels going on Cobra Kai AO3 and trying to weed through all the porn to find good fics

When Kenthony is brought up, a lot of people say that Anthony fell first and Kenny fell harder, but I think it's WAY funnier if Kenny falls first and Anthony falls harder.

Kenny just starts thinking about Anthony a little too much, realizing he feels pretty good when they're together and-

Then the realization hits him like a sniper round and he spends the next three days in the fetal position coping with the fact that he caught feelings for Anthony fucking Larusso.

He's not even surprised that he's queer, he's just mad that it was Lapusso that made him realize that.

And then with Anthony, he starts catching feelings one day when he notices Kenny acting a little bit flustered around him and he's kind of like, "Aww that's kind of cute" and then his entire world just fucking SHATTERS and he spends the next FIVE days in the fetal position coping with the fact that he caught feelings for Kenny goddamn Payne.

I think they just genuinely enjoy watching people suffer

SECURITY BREACH RUIN SPOILERS INCOMING!!!!

Okay so, I have a theory about the normal ending. You know, the one where Cassie gets betrayed by Gregory and gets sent in a falling elevator? That one. The little “Cassie” quote from Roxy leads me to believe that Cassie died and her spirit is going to possess Roxy, just like how Charlotte’s spirit possessed the puppet/Marionette. I might be tripping though.