SHUT UP🗣️‼️

STOP CALLING ME OUT TUMBLR

Johnny is a bad person and an even worse father.

With that said, he’s my 5th favorite character of the show.

This is exactly why I say “of course” and “no problem”

I love saying “of course” instead of “you’re welcome,” like of course I’m helping you that’s what I do, you were foolish to even consider an alternate dimension in which I’m not helping you. you idiot. you absolute buffoon.

Hey, I’m here with another opportunity that the Cobra Kai writers missed entirely. TWO, actually.

Numero Uno: Having Robby have some repressed envy towards Eli in Season 4. I mean, Robby hurts one person, makes one huge mistake, and his entire life goes down the drain. But Hawk becomes an absolute monster, hurting everybody and committing multiple crimes over the course of several months, but after a simple sowwy, he gets off without barely a slap on the wrist. Then, have Kreese notice this envy and use it to push Robby towards the decision of defeathering Hawk.

Numéro Deux: Having Kenny have a bit of animosity and distrust towards Kenny in Season 6, without Demetri having to influence that. Kenny’s story is super similar to Hawk’s, which I once thought should be reason to have them have a sort of mentor-mentee relationship, but I think this is more interesting. Because of the similarities, some of the guilt and self-loathing Hawk felt towards himself for his own actions kind of bubbles up and directs itself towards Kenny for a few weeks.

Am I saying I’m a better writer than the people who wrote Cobra Kai? No. Am I saying that if I did write the show this would be in it? Hell yes.

So…Lab Rats Question. If the rats were supposed to be kept completely secret in the first three seasons…then why did they never wear masks?

Like deadass, they didn’t even wear anything to hide their identities, AND they were leaving personal items all over the place (literally midway through an episode where Chase smacked Adam’s phone out of his hands in a warehouse and they just left it there).

Demetri’s character assassination in P2 was so fucking grand that it felt targeted 😭

can’t wait to see how hawk and demetri will continue to get butchered in part 3 YIPPEEE

SEASON 6 P3 SPOILERS

Kreese and Silver’s death was tense all up until the moment where Silver was like”NOOO” and Kreese was like “Mercy”, that just made me giggle and erased all form of tension in it.

I forgot to mention this but I want yall to know I got something NASHTY planned for the Binary Bros in Season 3

Hypothetical Cobra Kai Musical Songs (Season 2)

WE BACK IN THIS HOE

Yall know what it is. What if Cobra Kai was or had a Musical? Well, this is what I think a couple of the songs in Season 2 would be like.

I was a little confused on what the first song should be but then it came to me. It starts as basically a celebration song between Miguel, Aisha, Hawk, and the rest of the cobras about how they won, they’re badass and all that. It’s trumpet heavy, with some guitars and drums. And then halfway through the song, Johnny cuts in and changes the whole vibe, talking about how they won unfairly, and admonishing them for their dishonorable tactics and cheap moves. His lines would be cold, strict and the music behind it would be mostly drums and perhaps a few trumpets, etc etc. Not quite sure of a name for it, ngl.

I try to think of at least one song for each episode in a season, but I’m drawing a blank on Episode 2. Hmmm. I guess a reprise of Pain is Power while the students are training in the cement mixer, sung by Johnny and Kreese.

Then, another Johnny song, wow, I’m really giving this man a lot of screentime, ion even like this guy. Anyway, it’s him explaining all of the Keene-Lawrence lore to Miguel, telling him about how he was never there for Robby because he could never build up the courage, and by the time he did, it was far too late. It would be uncharacteristically sullen, with a background track composed of violins, flutes, piano, etc. I think the song should be called Fall Again, and in the feel of the lyrics, I think it would be a lot like Die Together by Fabvl, primarily the chorus.

Episode 4 doesn’t get a song because I can’t think of one rip.

Next, maybe a short sonata during the Eli flashback at the start of the episode about how much of a fucking loser everyone thinks he is, ending with Hawk saying the last words in the present day. It’d be about a minute long, wouldn’t take up too much time. No idea what to call it, ngl.

Next, a dramatic ass song from Daniel about him admonishing Johnny for the vandalism of Miyagi Do, starting with pure accusations towards him and his dojo, and then him lecturing the students about the true nature of Cobra Kai, which results in half of the leaving as in canon, It would be exactly like Mastermind from the newest episode of Helluva Boss, well, not ‘exactly’, but like, the same genre and feel. I’d call it Too Far. 

I REALLY want to put a Kreese solo here in Episode 6, but I feel like that should wait until Season 3 since that’s the season where he’s the sole and biggest antagonist. So instead, I’m going to have a song with Johnny’s three friends on their road trip. After Johnny brings up how he brought the dojo back and allowed Kreese to put his grubby little hands on it, each of the friends launches into a musical number about how their lives went downhill after Cobra Kai and all the bullshit it put in their brains. Tommy’s section at the end would be especially passionate, all of this would really put some doubt in Johnny’s mind. No clue what I’d call it lmao, I’m sorry-

Next up, a song between Miguel and Hawk. It’s a song-rap battle type deal, think Fight of Our Lives from Descendants Rise of Red except significantly less cringe. So basically It’s Goin’ Down. It’s starts when Hawk reveals that he did all the vandalism and stole the medal, and it’s an argument that conveys that Miguel leans to Johnny and Hawk leans to Kreese. Hawk calls himself a revolutionary while Miguel calls him a criminal. …yeah I don’t have a name for this one either, I’m SORRY-

And then, a Robby and Sam love duet. Now, I do feel bad about giving Robby and Sam a duet like this and not Tory and Miguel (which is honestly just because I have no idea where to put it), but I think it works because imo Robby and Sam’s relationship was way more genuine and interesting than Tory and Miguel’s. I think Tory and Miguel got together just because the other was there. Anyway, this would be a short bop, in the same vein as Meant to Combine from Zombies the PEAKanimated series. I’d probably call it Sugar and Spice, because they go together like, well, Sugar and Spice. Also to show how Sam’s from a good place and a sweetheart (Sugar), and how Robby’s rough around the edges because he’s from a bad life (Spice).

Then a short Daniel and Amanda duet, mostly of their reconciliation, I’d take inspiration from ‘Wouldn’t Change A Thing’ from Camp Rock 2 (I think it was 2, I’m not sure). It’s mainly about Amanda talking about how the company’s going under because of Daniel’s obsession and Daniel opening up about the trauma and pain he faced at the hands of Cobra Kai and how he wants to stop them before they hurt other kids. But in the end, they resolve to come to a compromise. Calling it Priorities, because, well, that’s what it’s mostly about. 

For the next song, I’m thinking maybe a Johnny Daniel duet? About the stories of their past or something? It could take place when they’re all at the Mexican restaurant and Amanda and Carmen go to the bathroom. Honestly, not sure of this at all, I just wanted a song for the events of Episode 9 (and to prepare for the emotional sniper shot the next song is going to be).

Up next, Robby solo. Taking place after Daniel banishes him for the second time. It’s an emotional, orchestral solo about how Robby has been being abandoned and cast away his entire life, and how he thought he was finally in a place where he was valued, cared for, even loved, but then it all got ripped away from him like all the times before. You know how in all musical, there’s always one singer that’s just unabashedly a better vocalist than everyone else? I imagine that’s what Robby’s actor would be. So this one would just hurt to listen to, but also be heat. Think Waiting in the Wings from Tangled The Series. Actually, it’s EXACTLY like Waiting in the Wings from Tangled the Series. Legit can’t think of a better basis for this song. Maybe some Everything I Ever Thought I Knew from the same series. I’d probably call it Clockwork because of how he feels like everything’s repeating.

And then the finale song, taking place during the school fight. It’s absolute pandemonium with harmonies, clashing lyrics, all kinds of lyrics, each main teen rivalry would get a verse, it would be insane. First starting with Miguel and Robby’s lyrics, basically insulting each other about their places with Sam and Johnny respectively, Miguel takes cheap shots at Robby about how his father gave him up, weaponizing the information he learned in Fall Again, but then Robby claps back about how Miguel basically fucked over his own relationship with Sam. 

And then Hawk and Demetri, it’s a Hawk heavy segment of him hunting Demetri down, talking about how he can’t run forever and how he’s going to get what’s coming to him, mocking Demetri about his philosophy, maybe calling back to Under the Radar and Flip the Script. 

And finally, Sam and Tory, I would have Tory call Sam a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing and tell her that karma’s come to collect her debt (only peak enjoyers know that reference). Tory heavy segment, very bitter, angry instrumental. And then when Hawk and Tory have Sam and Demetri on the back foot, Sam and Demetri launch into a sort of duet, reiterating Daniel’s teachings as they use their Miyagi-Do techniques to take down their aggressors. 

But then when it comes to Miguel and Robby, it’s way different, because it’s actually pure action until Miguel has Robby on the ground, and then Miguel apologizes. And that’s when Robby gets pissed, attacking Miguel as he wrathfully sings about how it’s dumb that Miguel thinks a sorry is supposed to erase everything. He’s blinded by rage until he accidentally kicks Miguel off of the railing.

And then Miguel gets a slow, soft version of the chorus, sung as he falls down the rail and his thoughts slow down to reflect on every action that got him to this point. It’s sullen until he’s cut off by the sound of his spine breaking on the stair rail. The screen cuts to black. And then Miguel sings the last words as the camera fades to him laying on the ground, blood pooling from his mouth.

“From here~” 

Okay, yeah, I think I cooked with that last one. Anyways, just like last time, feel free to suggest names and other songs you think could fit in. But overall, I hope you all enjoy.

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Also, side-thought, if I could make this a reality and have full control, I would spend BIG BUCKS to get Lydia the Bard to voice Sam

Hypothetical Cobra Kai Musical Songs (Season 3)

Sorry this took a while, school was cooking me like turkey. 

What if Cobra Kai was or had a Musical? Well, this is what I think a couple of the songs in Season 3 would be like.

First up is DEFINITELY a song about the community reacting to the whole karate war situation. It ranges from negative takes to positive takes, basically a bunch of random people singing and maybe some of the secondary characters can throw in their two cents. As a base, think Hatchet Town from Nerdy Prudes Must Die. Wow, crazy how that’s not the first time I’ll be referencing NPMD.The second to last verse is a mashup of everyone else’s. Anyway, I’m thinking maybe Johnny can have the last verse as he laments over what could’ve possibly gone so wrong. I’d just call it Aftermath, after the episode. 

Now, Episode 1 has a ton of moments that could be musicalified, but I narrowed it down to just two, the second of which being a reprise of Fall Again from Season 2, but this time sung about and to Miguel as he’s in comatose.

Okay so, I completely forgot that Miguel wakes up from his coma in Episode 1, I had a song idea for that I guess I can just put it here. It’s like Courage in Me (Christina Vee Cover) from the Miraculous Movie had a baby with Scarface. It’s a blood-pumping, dance-rock track about Miguel fighting to wake up from the coma, lighting the fire within him to win in the mind tournament his comatose-ness was portrayed as. I’d call it Power In Me, and yes I know it’s dangerously close to Courage In Me, shush.(Off topic but I’m surprised they haven’t used Scarface on the show yet).

Now, to Episode 2. This episode is kind of all over the place in terms of events, so I was only able to find one place where a song would be appropriate. Remember that hypothetical Kreese solo I mentioned in Season 2. Here it is, at the tail end of the episode. It’s called Black and White, and it’s inspired by Be Prepared and military rock. He basically sings about his world view, about how all their lives they’re told to be good, but good is a matter of perspective. He tells his students that their enemies view themselves as heroes, and them as villains, and that they must shed their weakness like true cobras. It’s basically just Kreese’s villain song.

Hmmm, from what I’m thinking, I can’t come up with a song for Episode 3. This might change as I continue through the doc. For now, just imagine a reprise of Clockwork.

Next is an admittedly odd choice, but it’s a Kumiko song. It’s a ‘Colors of the Wind’-esque song about their past and their connection and how far Daniel’s come. I don’t have many thoughts on it and honestly it’s just a song I put in because 1, I feel like this musical’s become too rock heavy, and 2, I didn’t want to leave two episodes in a row songless.

However, what I will NOT call an odd choice is my next song, a Chozen solo. It’s basically Chozen telling Daniel about Miyagi’s forced-to-kill scenarios, and teaching him how to do pressure points. He explains that defense takes many forms. I’d probably name it True Devotion, but it’d be one of those songs where the name doesn’t pop up in the actual song because I’m not too sure about the name.

HAZBIN HOTEL SEASON 2 LEAK SPOILERS ALERT 

Now, I don’t know where to put this, but I’d really like to fit a Tory villain song somewhere, I mean, she’s a genuine cartoon villain in Seasons 2-3. Her song would be….okay, I know it’s very bad to spread leaks, I myself was pissed after I watched this because I thought it was a fanwork and later realized it was a leak, but it’s just perfect for comparison. It would be almost exactly like Like Gravity from the Hazbin Hotel S2 leaks. I imagine it would have Kreese as ad libs pulling her to the dark side. I’d call it Run Dry, with the lyric “And now the patience well’s run dry”.

ALRIGHT LEAK SPOILERS OVER

Afterwards, a Sam solo taking place after the arcade fight, all about how afraid she feels of Tory after the school fight. She admonishes herself for being too cowardly to save her friend, admits that she’s terrified of being hunted and hurt like that again. She also links fighting Tory to Miguel’s injury, which is just not great for her. It’d probably be similar in genre to Familiar from Steven Universe, a soft, boopy, sad song that makes you feel bad for the gorl. Maybe I’ll call it Frozen, link it with the lyric “Frozen in fear” maybe? Not exactly sure. I’d probably base it on like, the first verse and chorus of Speechless, the hopeless tone of it would be pungent in this song. A unique idea for this is that it’d be short, like a minute and a half, for reasons you will find out later in this post.

And now…for the Binary Bros.

After the arm-breaking thing, you’d expect me to have a song idea for them right. WRONG. I have THREE song ideas for them, but they can’t all coexist because giving them like, 3 songs seems like dragging the issue out. One of them is a duet, and the other two are solos for both of them, so I’ll dive into them now.

The duet first. Kind of off-topic but did you know that Diary of a Wimpy Kid has a musical? Well, there’s a song in this musical called ‘Dear Diary’, and that song has the exact vibe I want for this one. I want it to be both of them lamenting and wondering how their friendship could’ve gotten to this point, and how they both still yearn for each other (platonically or romantically if you’re into the ship), despite being on opposite sides of the karate war. 

It would first show Hawk alone trying to convince himself that what he did was right, but then the mask comes off and he sullenly sings about how much he regrets what he did, and how the nature of his actions in the past few months are slowly starting to set in. It would have remnants of his sonata from Season 2 and it would all be about the regret.

And then Demetri’s verse would kick in, and it would have the structure of Under The Radar, but be as sullen as Hawk’s verse. Demetri is singing that he physically cannot believe that they’ve stooped this low as he looks over old pictures of the two of them, reminiscing on the old days and how good they used to be. He looks inward, thinking about how he could’ve stopped this, how he could’ve helped his friend before he turned to the dark side. 

And then the last chorus would start and it would just be a crushing duet between the two of them, both of them essentially saying the same thing with different words: I miss my friend.

I don’t talk about the visuals of these hypothetical songs enough, let me do it now. The visuals would be of them soaring through the universe, dodging planets and astroids and other astronomical objects to get to each other, which would represent how they’ve overcome every obstacle in their friendship until now. And then they would get to one planet, one half of it is black with the Cobra Kai logo, and the other is white with the Miyagi Do logo, and no matter how much they fly around it, the planet rotates to keep them both on their respective sides. They plant their hands on the planet, and the colors of their sides start to take over their bodies as they passionately sing the final lyrics. And then, when they repeat the last lyric, all of the visuals fade away and it shows them just standing with their heads against the wall, but it’s shown in a split-screen kinda way so it looks like their touching foreheads.  I don’t know if I explained that well enough, but this section is long enough.The song would be called My Other Half. 

On to the solos, first, Demetri’s, a few weeks ago I wrote a Demetri version of All 2 U from Helluva Boss, it’s not perfect but I put my whole writerussy into it. Anyway, I think this hypothetical song would be like a cross between All 2 U and Lost In The Woods from Frozen 2. In my mind, it has the emotional rawness of All 2 U, but the message is a mix of both. You know that one interview where Gianni says that Demetri can’t function without Eli, so I’m taking that and running with it. This song is basically Demetri’s mini-mental breakdown, where the mask comes off and he reveals just how much he has been hurting emotionally, having had his other half ripped away from him. It would have guitars, drums, just like the songs I mentioned as basises, it would be all around depressing. But it would end on a sort of happy determined note of Demetri saying he’ll wait for Eli to come back to him and see the light.The song would literally be called Back To Me. 

And then, Hawk’s solo, Hawk would try a little bit harder to keep the mask on, singing about how this is the right way and he deserves to be strong after everything he’s been through, he needs to be strong after all the ways he’s grown. And then it comes off as he sings, “But what if I’m the monster?” It’s basically everything his verse in My Other Half is but longer. I think it’d be similar to Loser Geek Whatever (casually steals @embryoed’s idea), but like, crossed with Micheal in the Bathroom. I’d just call it Monster. 

WOO finally, that section’s over. God DAMN. After that absolute trio of terror, I think we deserve a fun song.

This next song is called Who Are We, and it’s centered around Johnny, Miguel, and the rest of the soon-to-be Eagle Fang coming up with a cool name. It’s a kooky, chill, pump up fun song of Johnny trying to get the eagles hyped up in hopes that they’ll help him come up with a name. Everyone suggests horrid names. 

And then, next a Carmen solo. It’s basically that moment where she apologizes for blaming Johnny and that she was hurt by what happened. She exposits almost the whole story about their life, how they immigrated in from Mexico because Miguel’s father was a horrible man, and how he’s had complications his whole life and how she’d do anything for him, yada yada. I’d probably call it Historia De Nuestras Vidas, or ‘Story of our Lives’ in Spanish…probably, idk I used Google Translate because I cheated my way through spanish class last year. It’d sound slow and sultry like something you’d hear in a musical episode of a telenovela. Oddly I’d want the verses to sound like the verses in Bum Biddy from Eight Crazy Nights, which is funny as hell. That song just has a really good structure.

After that, a song that takes place in the appeal. It starts out with Kreese pulling a Kreese, waving his ex-military status and PTSD around like a get out of jail free card and claiming that Miyagi-Do started the violence, painting them as the villain and infuriating Daniel and Amanda.Then, Daniel steps in, singing about the true story of how it all started, which not a lot of people actually believe because of Daniel’s history. Then, Johnny interjects, actually supporting Daniel (partially), and sharing about how Kreese’s methods destroyed his life and sent him on a downwards spiral. It devolves into an argument until Miguel shows up, singing the last verse about how he was bullied before he started learning karate, about how there will always be bullies and karate is all about standing up to them. I’d call the song Karate Belongs In Northridge, but the title wouldn’t show up in the song lol.

Then…alright, you’ve had a break from the emotional hits, it’s time for another. 

Robby’s pseudo-villain song, let’s GO. I call it a ‘pseudo-villain’ song because honestly, compared to what I have coming up for this guy, this song is child’s play.

Anyway, it’s basically Crossing the Line from Tangled with more guitars, it takes place after he finds Miguel and Sam kissing, and he’s on his way to Cobra Kai. Like Clockwork, it starts with him singing about everyone who’s screwed him over, starting with Johnny, the sperm donor who abandoned him for years, made a weak attempt to reconnect just to be able to say that he did, and then replaced him with another teenage boy.

And then Miguel, who he felt he could never measure up to for anyone, the boy who took everything away from him.

And then Sam, who made him feel like he could be loved and then it turned out he was basically a placeholder to her.

And finally, the one that stung the most: Daniel. He made Robby feel important and that he had potential, only to throw him away at the slightest inconvenience. 

After that, he launches into the chorus, singing about how he’s putting the walls back up stronger than ever before, about how he’s learned from every betrayal and figured out that he can only trust and look after himself. He’s been the scapegoat for far too long, so he’s taking his life back, and Shifting the Narrative. (That’s the name of the song if you couldn’t already tell, which you probably could)

And then, no more songs. That’s right, Episode 9 doesn’t get a song, because we have to prepare for the next and final song: a Sam-Tory duet (kind of).

It starts with Tory, singing in a similar manner Hawk did when hunting Demetri in Season 2’s finale. She’s singing about how karma’s caught up to Sam and now she pays for everything she’s done. She calls Sam a snob, a nepotism baby, one of those people who thinks the world should all that usual rhetoric she used to throw around to excuse her actions, and Sam’s taking the brunt of her rant and attacks…until she shatters the Miyagi Do picture.

Every memory she’s had of Miyagi flashes through her mind at once, and she gets so pissed off that the trauma literally gets scared and leaves. It’s like an unforgiving, cold rage, which leads me into my next sentence: the reason Frozen is so short is because it’s the first half of this song. And now, we enter the second half: Avalanche. 

I literally wrote up these lyrics:

Every sting, every lesson, every tear, every second wasted petrified and fearing for my life

Every dream, every vision, every nightmarish decision piercing straight through my psyche like a knife

I’ve listened to all your baseless accusations, your bold and faceless condemnation

And it’s built up in my soul with the goal to take control until it all bubbles over like an avalanche

So yeah, this song is intense. It’s Sam saying she is DONE with Tory’s bullshit and beating her ass while singing. Honestly, I’d probably compare it to Stronger Than You in terms of message. Tory thinks she knows exactly who and what Sam is, but she hasn’t even begun to understand who Sam is, everything that she’s been through, everything that’s made her who she is today. And now, she’s going to show her. 

And yeah, that’s the last song of the season. An intense bop about Sam owning tf out of Tory. 

This was honestly the funnest season to conceptualize for so far. I especially liked thinking about Avalanche, if someone takes my idea and makes it a reality, that song is going to be therapeutic. And I do hope I broke some hearts with the trio of terror that is the binary bros’ songs.

These posts got a lot more attention than I though they would. Off topic, but sometime in the near future I’m thinking about writing a kind of Cobra Kai parody/rewrite fanfic, it would exaggerate some plot points for laughs while completely changing others, and I would structure it like a normal TV show (26 episodes per season). It would also be a jukebox musical, probably using the songs I used as basis’ in these post.  Would y’all read that? Let me know. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed, and as always, if you have suggestions, don’t hesitate to share.