Girls Won't Even Be Dating And Then Have The Most Dramatic Break Up

Okayyy slay! Surely you’re almost done with HS though, I would be outta there in a flash!

And I admire that you’ve definitely got the fundamentals of art down. I bet your work actually is so cool.

- 🍓

i am in-fact almost done, thank god!! and taken that im in greece i am definitely outta here ASAP!! i need a creative outlet and this country is lacking it!

hey maybe one day i’ll share some art over here! who knows! maybe its sooner than ya think!!

me n who..

U puppy 🩷

it was gods divine intervention for me to stay up late enough to not go to school today, go to Jumbo with my parents & walk down the toys isle just to “look around”

i get it, cara mia.

i kinda spontaneously decided to dye it because i was feeling bad about myself but it’s here to stay i think!!! i also went as wednesday for halloween this year so it went really well braided!

i think you’d look amazing no matter the color!! plus i think pink & black go really well with each other anyways.

and yeah, your wednesday 🙂‍↕️

“cara mia.” do you know. i audibly screamed.

feeling like this rn only thing is we aren’t arguing

its a shame i cant know who’s my blind admirer ᴖ̈

flush aside, thank you for the compliments & i bet purple must’ve blended and fit in perfectly with the Wednesday look ^_^

I LITERALLY DRESS LIKE WEDNESDAY ON THE DAILY PLEASE LET ME BE THE WEDNESDAY TO YOUR ENID

don’t be shy dm me outside of anon…. i promise i don’t bite………

𝚃𝚘 𝚊 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚋𝚎𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐.

- B.E.

First request!!! Req by: @bilsluckyheart !! Thank you for your faith in me and i hope i didn’t disappoint <3

A/N: used one of my experiences and altered it some more!! Help!!

C/W: m*n mentioned, comphet implied, death mentioned (?), angst, hurt no comfort, no use of y/n, Billie referred to with her name instead of she once, hope i didn’t miss smt

Summary: You finally get a partner and as you said you didn’t care what they were like! You just wanted to not be alone. Is that what fulfils you? Is that what you expected to happen when you were finally “not alone?” Bet you didn’t expect to lose what you realised way too late was what you truly wanted there with you.

❀。 •*₊❀。 • *₊°。 ❀°· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ❀。 • *₊°。 ❀° ❀。 •

A man, a man supposedly being your boyfriend but you can’t seem to help that you see him as a best friend more than anything. Sex feels rather like a playtime-pass time than intimacy - what’s supposed to be dates instead is like going out with your dad’s friend instead of your lover - being with him feels more suffocating than it does to be utterly alone.

Sick worried about your sexuality and cravings, controlling to the core. You needn’t have cut her off, did you? You didn’t like her like that, right?

Or was it just you being in denial? Have you thought how obvious it is when others hear how you talk to her, your tone, your blabbering, clinging onto every little detail ever just for the sake of a never-ending conversation. How your eyes light up the entire milky way the moment she looks your way, gives you attention, answers your texts, you you you in her mind you wanted it to be you.

And he saw that as a threat, his very own misery being contagiously inflicted to you, all in plain sight.

So many excuses for how he is- but you cant deny it. You don’t dare deny it, and you know it too.

The car rides you’d wish would lead to her, the friends you’d go out with you wished would include her, the indirect questions of his old friends in a flick of hope to hear about her.

She was never to be talked of again.

He broke up with you, why are you sad? Body shaking with devastation, tears running like real-life waterfalls, screams of a broken heart hope. You had only hoped you like him, you had only hoped you could convince yourself you like men, the way they like you. The closet shut so quick for the sake of being with someone for once, anyone.

It doesn’t take long until you realise you’re better without him, you aren’t miserable yourself, you were forced to be but yourself. The episodes and constant crying is over, your body has no one to reject anymore, so as the months go by, why do you still feel crashed?

Mind replaying the thoughts you had while dating him, how often you’d think of Billie, wish for her upon every shooting star, hoping your words would reach her under the same night sky.

You weren’t in love with her though? Right?

The times she’d laugh at your stupid jokes and you’d only grow warmer, all from inside out. The way she laughed at your idiotic jokes, eyes shut closed and uncontrollable irregular panting laughs, you felt your heart open up and flutter like a lotus. You weren’t breathing anymore - you were blooming.

Or how she would always react to you with a smile, no she wasn’t always happy, but she felt that way whenever you were in the picture.

You knew she wasn’t always happy, especially when you tried to contact her about a month after your breakup, after the breakup of probably the most pathetic relationship ever.

Her hometown being your own isn’t helping, with a new year of studies crawling in and summer days shortening she’s come to visit family and friends and you cant help but imagine every other girl she interacted with was you.

Stolen glances while passing by the street, yours were full head turns, trying to drink up as much of her as you can in that luck-pathed moment, whereas hers almost looked through you. Short and cold, like broken icicles used as daggers.

The eyes that once bent and twinkled with such a welcoming warmth you now find them leaving you breathless. The hands that once opened up like wings, fingers empty of their shiny rings, -something she always did knowing how the sensation makes you cringe unpleasantly- knowing she’s gonna see you, eager to be held by you contentedly, palms facing you with a silent request to hold them — now you see fallen, the only thing about them looking at you being the big shiny intimidating rings peeking from a fist.

The mud is dirty, the water is not the best. All kinds of things found around the pond taking a sip or a dip. But a lotus flower grows again tomorrow even cleaner than before. Why can’t she see it?

You a year ago today is nothing compared to you right now, you know what you are and what you want. So why is she suddenly scared to get wet? Why is every person attracted to the pond but her?

Everyone but the one you want.

The one person to bloom the lotus within you, the one to plant the lotus seed inside you, to keep it from rotting all along. She gave it life and left it with you to die.

Or at least you tell that yourself to feel better, better about the fact that you left her without a word and hoped for the best.

You hadn’t realised just how much time had passed, or that time had passed at all. Now out of your mind and back to your body, looking right at the entrance of a park, you hadn’t moved an inch since you looked back and was met with a killer gaze. The evening sky turning to yet another dark night. Were the nights always this cold?

You lean against the random buildings fence, state of shock unbothered. Your head tilts up as the breeze kisses past your features, thats when you realise your body has betrayed you yet again, wet cold teary cheeks.

Blink,, blink,,, blink… and you shot your eyes up ahead, the stars in the dark blue of the sky dancing along the hue of the endless horizon above and beyond, and for a moment you saw her eyes again, for a moment you saw her staring at you the way she used to. For a final moment before you felt your heart rip itself apart.

...

..

You had no outlet for your love to her, you didn’t have her. What was there to do with a feeling so tender that sucker punches your stomach the moment it sees the owner of it whole? A feeling that fights against your held back words and actions, trying to get out in any way, ends up finding that the only way out, is through.

There was no room for it. If you clung onto it, it would only destroy you.

actual real raw conversation i just had with my friend

can you guess who is who :3c

Of course i actively like- no. Adore Caitlyn when the majority starts to turn against her.

I love complex characters that make you feel. Yes, make bad decisions for good reasons, have good motives and take wrong actions, be good and be bad, be complex, in all your fictional beauty master being real, being human, being too much.

https://www.tumblr.com/yearningandstillnotlearning/766482397711810560/i-literally-dress-like-wednesday-on-the-daily

heyy its me again! your wednesday 🔪

i literally wear my hair in braids so much recently but my hair has purple on the underside so it’s like a twist between the black & purple. i’ve also envolved into more of a femme style as well and it’s mostly black dresses i’ve realised. i’m about to go cut my hair to look like wednesday more so hehe

i love that you sport pink!! i bet it looks so cute on you <33

you’re adorbs omfg, you sound like you look cool as hell and i wanna see your hair now :0

i would also dye my hair but god is it tiring to keep up, thats why i dyed it back to black before school started💔 i also wanna be something different each day so that wouldn’t be too good to my hair

I might. Have fallen asleep midway thru proofreading my shit. BUT IM UP🗣️