Rank The Kids From "would Destroy The Batmobile In Less Than 10 Minutes If Left Alone" To "Bruce Wouldn't

Dangers of working on a set.

That’s what I said.

Calvin's parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They're not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play

Now, from Calvin's point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, "that's nice, go shoot 'em with your water gun, have a good time," and the locals are like, "yeah, they're an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time." Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.

From Lilo's point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.

Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.

@duckbunny on wanting to live

companion weave

Timepiece with the fewest moving parts:

Sundial.

Timepiece with the most moving parts:

Hourglass.

"The monster that’s been under her bed since she was a child and the nightmares began finally shows up and says, 'you’re right to see the world as grimly as you do. You’re right, they are also making you into a monster, and you’re right to feel terror in the face of all the lies under your feet starting to come undone. You're right to feel a righteous fury on behalf of those Grinot children because you were a child, and no one saved you from being fed into the machine, but you’re not dead yet, and you can still save them from it. And you may be scared that you are a monster because your friends look at you different because you're not the little girl that they left in that cottage 14 years ago, but so am I, and the monsters are going to help you now. This world is a nightmare, and you are a monster, so what do you want to do?'"

-Aabria Iyengar, Fireside Chat ep. 43

This was EVERYTHING

Source: me

Thanks anon lmao

Reblog if you genuinely support asexuals

It terrifies me that there’s so much raging passion in the lgbt+ community that insist on marginalizing asexuals and implying that asexuals don’t deserve to have safe spaces. There’s still so much acephobia so I just wanna know which blogs are genuinely supportive and a safe space for asexuals

Tim: I have never read a book in its entirety. I refuse. If I never read the ending then I can create my own ending however I see fit. It's the closest I'll come to godhood

Jason: that's the dumbest-

Dick: wait I think he's onto something. Imagine giving a every book you read a happy ending

Tim: happy? Interesting I've never considered that option

Damian: so you don't know how anything ends? That explains all your poor planning

Duke: What about textbooks?

Tim: if it was important they'd tell me in the earlier chapters

Jason: so what you're saying is-

Tim: I do not know how to change the batmobile tire that was in the very back of the manual

Jason: do tell how you decided that one ended

Tim: I called the people I trusted most in the world to come help me and like a true loving family they did

Dick: awww, of course we'll help-

Damian: absolutely not. Consider this a lesson in finishing what you started

Tim: I'm not above bribery. Pick an animal. Any animal. I'll have it in the manor by sunset tomorrow

Duke: I'm actually with Damian on this one- you should learn from this

Jason: also the dog dies at the end of Marley and Me

Tim, with a monotone voice: in my version they all died

Dick, Damian, Duke, Jason: ...

Damian: *tt* I expect a giraffe in the lobby by daylight

Jason: fine I'll help too but I'm stealing the hub caps

Duke: I'll come up with a believable cover story

Dick: some things never change❤️

i swear to god NOTHING makes me more pissed off then when everyone is like “oouheuehghoughough ough [thing] is so good it’s a classic you’ll love it” and they say it SO OFTEN that you resolve on principle to loathe [thing] with your entire being but when you actually get around to experiencing [thing] it literally IS That Good. physically trembling with rage at the fact that hamlet actually is one of the best plays ever written. DIE

Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.

But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.

None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?

And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.

Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.

A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.