“Do You Know The Secret Code That Brings Me Joy?”

Point of No Return Part 2

Togame x F!Reader Smut

Warnings: +18 MINORS DNI! Noncon, stalking if you squint, threats, mention of violence, mention of blood, manhandling, obsessive behavior, fear, smut, rough sex, creampie

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Satoru Nii

Word count: 2.9k

LINK TO PART 1

After Togame had his way with you, he added your contact into his phone and released you, informing with a cold smile that he’ll be in touch. Apparently he took a liking to you and wants to see you again— which even as a mere thought terrified you. 

Naturally you wanted to take all possible precautions, but there wasn’t much you could do. One was to ignore his calls. A dangerous game, but one you have to play to keep yourself from out of his reach. No one else is gonna protect you as Furin is still blissfully unaware of your encounter with him and you intended to keep it that way. 

Another one was to avoid going outside, which was difficult since you have a lot of friends whom you hang out with. Like tonight, you agreed to meet Nirei and Anzai in the city, but only because the way there isn’t long. 

However, fearing you’ll run into Togame, your imagination runs wild when shuffling down the empty, misty alleyway, where the tile walls seem narrower and the street endless. Paranoia shades your mind, like a looming shadow that follows you, but every time you whip your head around it disappears. 

Suddenly the sound of a small rock rolling on the pavement echoes— like someone unintentionally kicked it. Certain that it can’t be a trick of your mind, you turn around and glance into the alleyway that fades into the mist. 

“Hello? Is someone there?” You ask, but the only response is your own voice resounding hauntingly. 

You sigh, mildly relieved of the silence. As you turn around to continue your way, you suddenly bump into something— Shaking your head from the confusion, you lift your gaze up only to have horror spread on your face as none other than Togame stands in front of you. With that same hollow smile, he looks at you through tinted sunglasses as if having found something long lost. Something that belongs to him.

“Hey there, sweetheart,“ he greets with a voice one could mistake as friendly.

“T-Togame..“ you whisper, unable to mask the horrified tone.  

“Nice to run into you like this,” he says, but something inside you tells that the sudden encounter is not a coincidence. But be that as it may, you snap out of your speechlessness, understanding that you need to adopt a very cautious demeanor with him. 

“Mhmm..“ You nod.

“So how have you been?“

“Fine.. Thank you,“ you answer unnecessarily politely, knowing he’s bound to ask the question in which you struggle to find a valid answer to.

“You haven’t returned my calls.“

A cold shiver runs down your spine as you swallow, “Y-yeah.. I’m so sorry, I— I’ve been.. busy,” you respond.

Togame refrains from any comments. It seems that he, as well as you, came to a conclusion that such a lie was so useless it would’ve been better left unsaid. Finding his emerald stare tormenting, you grip your upper arm in discomfort and avert your gaze.

Despite how obvious it is that you’ve been avoiding him, his lips turn into what seems like a genuine smile— as genuine as someone like him can show though. 

“Anyway, It’s nice to see you again,” he says, closing the gap between you and pulling you against himself.

Knowing your poor position, you stay compliant to whatever he wants to do with you. As he leans in to press his lips on yours, you put your trembling hands against his chest, responding to his affection timidly. He backs you against the wall and deepens the kiss, forcing his tongue in your mouth. You can’t help but clutch his shirt, fearing that he’ll force himself on you there, when suddenly luck turns on your side as your phone rings. 

“Mmh.. S-sorry.. I have to take this,” you mumble between kisses. Togame pulls away and looks at you unimpressed. 

“Aren’t you busy?”

You swallow, panicking to come up with a good reason to respond, “I-it’s— It’s F-Furin..” 

As Togame hears the name of the rival gang he becomes visibly interested, “Really?” He asks. 

“I-I was supposed to meet with a couple of my f-friends..” You stutter, worried, “They could come look for me..”

“You don’t say,” he says as if thinking out loud, “That could be fun.”

“W-what do you mean?”

He smiles crookedly and grasps your chin between his index finger and thumb, “It’d be kinda hot to get to fight over you.”

Your eyes widen, heart pounding as you comprehend the danger your friends are about to end up in. The result would definitely be bloody because neither of them could ever match against Shishitoren’s second in command.

Togame tilts his head a little, green eyes vivid with excitement, “Pummel your friends to near death and then take what’s theirs— sounds absolutely thrilling,” he adds. 

You look up at him with pleading eyes, hands brushing his upper arms powerlessly as you know you need to convince him not to go through with his threat, “P-please.. They have nothing to do with this,” you sob, but your distress does nothing to his malice. 

Tears form in your eyes as you realize what could appease his thirst for violence as well as soften the consequences of ignoring his calls. It’d be the end of life as you know it, but an unprovoked fight could start a chain of events resulting in gang war, which is the least you want. 

“Please, Togame.. I’ll— I’ll tell them I’m not feeling well and then— W-we can go to my place..”

Togame lifts his chin, gaze locked on you as your generous offer catches his intrigue. Needless to say he would benefit greatly from knowing where you live. The mere idea of being able to get some pussy whenever he wanted was arousing enough, but he keeps his expression indifferent as your sad, beautiful eyes look up at him so very pleadingly. 

“Please..” You whisper.

“Fine,” he agrees and you finally get permission to answer Nirei’s call. 

“Hello?“ 

“Hi! Where are you? We’ve been waiting here for a while,“ Nirei says with a worried tone.  

“A-actually, I’m not feeling well—“ You stutter when Togame starts planting open-mouthed kisses down your neck while his hands wander on your body. 

“I-I’m heading back home,“ you add hastily. 

“You sound a little out of breath. Are you okay? Want us to escort you home?” 

“Oh, no need to. I’ll be fine—” you shut your eyes as you feel a hand sneaking underneath your shirt. 

“Oh, okay. Just give me a call if you need something!“ 

“S-sure, thanks,“ You hang up and sigh shakily, relieved to have possibly prevented a very bloody and violent altercation. 

“That went well,” he murmurs against your skin. 

“Y-yeah.”

“Well then,” he pulls away from your neck and focuses his hungry look down at you, ”Shall we go to your place now?“

You swallow, desperately wishing you’d be able to refuse. But having traded the safety and comfort of your home to keep your friends away from danger, you slowly nod, keeping your part of the deal. Togame only smiles widely and grabs your hand as if you were his property. 

Eternity seems to pass before you reach your homestreet, which is in a quite decent neighborhood, at least considering the areas around. All the street lamps— the ones that are still intact, are lit and because it’s the weekend, people have gone out to bars and restaurants. 

You stop in front of the certain apartment building, “This is it,” you say with barely audible voice. 

Togame glances at the building without any impression, then turns his emerald gaze at you, “It’s nice,” he comments, his intense look urging you to stop prolonging the inevitable. 

Sensing the atmosphere, you head towards the entrance while searching for the keys from your bag. Hands trembling, you have trouble fitting the key, but then Togame’s bigger hand grasps yours and helps you guide it into the lock. As you manage to open the door, you feel his body pressing your back like a wordless command to enter. 

Walking up the stairs and arriving at your apartment, you unlock the door and enter, unable to calm the pounding of your heart. 

“We’re here..“ you say quietly and turn to look up at the danger you just brought into your home, the place that used to be a refuge from people like him.

He takes off his sunglasses and places them on top of a dresser, “And your bed?“ He asks.

You swallow, “...H-here.”

Leading him through your small, humble studio apartment, you stop before the unmade bed. Feeling the warmth of his body behind you, you wrap your arms around yourself in fear and discomfort. Togame notes the gesture and grabs your wrists, making you close your eyes momentarily as he forces your arms on your sides. 

Suddenly he drapes his arm around you, caging you against himself while bringing his other hand on your throat. He doesn’t squeeze, but no doubt the act is meant as a threat. Consumed by fear, you hold still while his thumb brushes the side of your neck. His hot breath fans against your ear and you feel dissatisfaction radiating from him. It makes you fear that your earlier lie— the one you believed to be forgiven with the invitation to your home— would be the cause of his irritation. 

Unfortunately you’re correct. There’s many things Togame doesn’t tolerate and disobedience is one of them. As he keeps you in a strong grip, you don’t budge in hope that it’d satisfy him enough to let you go. 

“Good girl,“ he suddenly says with a low voice. 

You close your eyes, a tear rolling down your cheek as your body trembles at the ominous tone of his words, which did imply that you barely managed to diminish his hunger to punish you. He then removes his hand from your throat and starts to unzip your hoodie. You whimper, but make no resistance. 

Garment after another, he tosses them carelessly on the floor and when you’re left in your lingerie, he doesn’t have enough patience to unhook your bra. Instead he simply tears them from the middle and the straps slide down your shoulders, on the floor. Your whimper turns into a suppressed sob to which he’s indifferent to while pulling down your panties, slowly until they drop to your ankles. 

Pleased for having you naked in front of him, he begins to undress himself while you wrap your arms around yourself, swallowing tears when a moment later you feel his bare skin against yours. Wasting no time, he pushes you on you belly on the bed, underneath him. His impatience is obvious as he’s already about to set you in the position, but suddenly you turn on your side and look up at him with pleading eyes. 

“Please.. C-could we slow down a little bit..? I’m scared..” You whisper, but Togame seems unaffected by your fear. 

“You’ve made me wait quite long already,” he points out simply. 

“I-I’m so sorry.. I’ll be good from now on..”

Togame smiles at your sincerity, but then manhandles you on your back nevertheless. He positions himself on top of you and cradles you in his arms, affectionate green eyes looking down at you.

“If I wanna get a hold of you, you’ll answer your phone, no matter what you’re doing and who you’re with,” he says calmly, but you know it’s a serious command.

“Understood?” He asks.

You nod hastily and put your hands on the sides of his neck, “Mmh, okay.”

He smiles contentedly and kisses you gently, almost considerate. But having been waiting to get his hands on you, it turns feverish quite quickly. He forces his tongue in your mouth and starts to grope your breasts, his thumb brushing your peaked nipples while devouring your cute little whines. Shivers run across your body as he then starts to plant open-mouthed kisses on your neck and down to your collarbone while his hands wander on your waist in an admiring way. 

You shut your eyes and suppress a whine as he takes one of your nipples in his mouth, tongue sweeping around the sensitive bud. You squirm a little, but not enough for him to deem it as an act of rebellion. If anything, he finds it cute as your smaller body feels good against his stronger form.

He continues to kiss down your body and when he reaches your mound, you gasp nervously, fighting the need to close your legs. Almost as if being aware of your thoughts, Togame grasps your thighs before planting the softest kiss on your mound. Another, softer gasp passes your lips when he drags his tongue between your folds. It brushes against your clit, causing a pleasurable tremble surge through your body.

“Fuck, I missed this pussy,” he groans and begins to flick his tongue against your clit. 

Your body twists in unwanted pleasure as he takes a moment to prepare you for himself. Your moans, tormented and sweet, each sends a rush of blood down to his nether region, making his cock ache in need for some sweet friction.

When Togame decides you’re ready for him, he stops and positions himself on top of you, making you open your eyes as his dark shadow covers you. Seeing the depraved smile on his face, you swallow and brace yourself, placing your hands on his forearms insecurely. He then wraps a hand around his aching cock and presses the head against your fluttering little hole. As he starts to push past your walls, you throw your head back and shut your eyes. Nails digging into his skin, you whine as he enters deeper, stretching your unwilling walls into his shape. 

“Nngh.. Just as tight as I remembered,” he grunts in pleasure.

You sob silently, your body trembling at the intrusion as it’s beyond difficult to allow him inside. Togame—fully aware of this, places his hand on your cheek, making you open your teary eyes and see a rather soft look on his face. 

“Don’t fight me,” he says with an almost caring tone. 

“..S-sorry..”

When he feels your walls adjusting to him, he starts slowly rolling his hips against yours. His eyes flutter shut as the pleasure absolutely drunkens him, driving him into a more steadier pace, each thrust forcing a little whimper out of you. 

“Ahh, fuck—” He groans, picking up the pace as he’s unable to resist the tightness of your pussy. Skin slamming against yours, it causes a dirty slapping noise that echoes on the walls of your apartment. Your breasts bounce in sync with his thrusts and as his pace increases, the headboard of the bed rattles against the wall. 

He is more rough with you than the first time. Hot breath fanning against your ear as he huffs in pleasure, clearly drunk on your warm, wet pussy. You spread your legs wider and cling onto him in a desperate attempt to endure him. 

Suddenly Togame stops and pulls out of you, “On your hands and knees,” he commands and you don’t hesitate to obey. 

He grasps your hips on a bruising grip, pulling you closer to himself, his other hand pushing your neck down on the mattress. Your hands clutch the bed sheets as he penetrates you again, this time without any mercy as he begins to pound into you faster. He closes his eyes and leans his head back in pleasure, a debauched smile spreading on his features as your walls clench so deliciously around him.

“Nnh.. Your cunt is so fucking perfect.”

You whimper in response, his condescending words not only disheartening, but also reminding you that from now on, you’re gonna be hearing them a lot.

He then leans himself over you, “Ahh.. Fuck, I’m gonna cum inside this little pussy of yours,” gripping your neck, he presses your head ruthlessly on the mattress so that your cheek squishes against it. Fucking you with more fervor, your whines turn into choked cries as tears keep escaping from your eyes that are still shut.

He keeps pounding into you, thrusts turning erratic and hard, “Nngh.. I’m gonna cum..!” He pants into your ear. Then suddenly you feel him sink his teeth in your shoulder as he slams inside you, releasing his seeds in the depths of your pussy. 

Panting quietly, you don’t dare to move, instead you wait for him to fill you up. Your eyes are hooded, sweat glimmering on your skin and your legs tremble as they’re about to cave. When you feel him letting go of you and pulling out, you collapse on the bed, exhausted and with bruises on your body and teeth marks on your shoulders.  

Togame sighs and lays down next to you, not only satisfied from getting his needs sated, but also because you obeyed quite nicely. Glancing at your weary form, he knows you need a moment to recover from his rough treatment, yet pulls you into his arms nevertheless. 

“Get some sleep now. We’ll continue in the morning,” he says with a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

─── 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 7.1k | content: fluff, making out, college!au, mentions of insecurity, only very brief angst !!, alcohol, slight jealousy

notes: this was supposed to be lengthier and in smau format but i suck at that so here it is in fic format :’) i know i know, i write sae way too much </3

summary: you have a crush on sae. for a long time now. and he’s always known that. he just wants to see how long you can hold out.

HIGH SCHOOL: 2ND YEAR

itoshi sae knows you like him.

you’re really obvious it’s pathetic, really. once during recess, he’d wanted to go back to the classroom to get some shut eye because soccer was way too draining lately, and guess who he saw slipping a little love note into his locker?

of course you. you and your little pink heart-shaped post-it that read i think you’re cute and i really really like you. because it was valentines and you were one of the many to send him little scribbles of confessions.

even now, when you sit just a couple of rows in front of him, he catches you looking behind at him, and sae purposely doesn’t look at you, doesn’t let you know he knows you’re staring. he’s not really sure why. maybe he feels bad if he exposes you or something.

throughout the rest of your sophomore year in high school, he continues to observe as you so subtly (not really) try to be friends with him. you always try to get picked to be in the same group as him for projects (which never works out), you try to sit next to him in lecture halls (but his friends cockblock you always), and during phys ed classes you try so hard with soccer but you’re really quite bad at it.

maybe it’s sae not being able to continue observing your failures that he throws you a bone.

“you need to bend your knees a little more.”

frozen stiff from the unexpected company, you awkwardly try to bend your knees further, all while staring at the ground. if sae was nice, he’d laugh and joke around with you, asking why you seemed so scared of him. but he’s not, so he only sighs and stands beside you while you try.

after a few more seconds, sae understands you don’t really understand so he moves to push down on your thigh, and by then you really freeze up, falling flat on your ass in front of him.

sae wants to laugh now, really, because it’s amusing how nervous you are. for no good reason too.

the next time sae talks to you, it’s during lunch time when he queues up behind you. on purpose. he doesn’t even usually eat from this stall, but seeing you there makes him want to mess with you a little. he purposely stands a little too close, makes himself prone to an accidental bump.

which does happen. because you’re just like that.

“oh, sor—” you stop midway as if realising it’s sae immediately dissolves you of any obliged apologies. “sorry,” you force out before whipping your attention back in front. the both of you don’t talk in that moment and sae can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

but sae continues to help you during phys ed classes, and you still try to get assigned to be his group mate. nothing groundbreaking happens during sophomore year of high school because nothing is born out of it.

nothing, except maybe a tiny bit of sae’s inexplicable emotions for you.

HIGH SCHOOL: SENIOR YEAR

sae thinks maybe you went to a shrine over the holidays. how else would he explain you finally getting partnered with him on a project? and to top it off, it’s a two-person team for the entire year.

you get him all to yourself.

the moment the teacher calls your name after his, it’s like sae can practically see your tail wagging. you manage to compose yourself when you catch him staring at you though.

it’s a little cute, if he’s being honest.

“so, what do you think our project should be about?” your voice wavers a little when you speak to him. is he that intimidating?

sae wonders what if he tries to be a dick during this project. would you be obedient or would you actually bite back?

he tries to find out.

sae shrugs and acts disinterested, staring out the window of the second floor of the library where you’d both agreed to meet to work on it together. “don’t know, don’t care, think you could handle it for us? i’ve got too many soccer trainings, too tired.”

for a split second, you’re taken aback—he sees you sitting upright a little more, blinking twice at him because surely that’s not what you imagined your crush to behave like. not when he has straight As and is almost the top of your cohort.

and for a while, sae thinks you might actually be the former; obediently listening to him, making sure he’s happy. but then you furrow your brows and clench your fists and go “itoshi sae, who do you think you are” and oh, oh, you’re not the former, you’re the latter and you’d actually kill him if he was a dick. fuck.

somehow his hands instinctively come up in surrender and his mouth opens, “i was just kidding.”

it’s almost comical how your expression softens up immediately and you laugh, and sae keeps staring at you because you actually have a really nice smile. he never really noticed it before. and when the two of you actually get started on the project, sae finds himself observing you more than actually contributing.

yeah, you’re really quite pretty.

“any plans for the summer?”

it’s now almost july and summer break is around the corner, and to be honest sae’s kind of bummed about it. it’s beyond him why not seeing you would make him disappointed, but he’s not going to try and pursue the reason. he has his training camps to worry about.

“soccer. you?”

“mmm, a short trip with my parents.”

usually sae would leave it at that, but he asks about you, and he sees that tail wagging again. “where?”

“just gonna go to hokkaido,” you tell him. and you look like you’re anticipating him to ask more, but sae’s stuck. he doesn’t really know what to ask. he’s not exactly curious as to what you’d be doing there.

so you take matters into your own hand when you swiftly grab his phone from the table, key in your number and call yourself from his phone before putting it right back. sae watches you the whole time, wondering when exactly you’d gotten this bold.

“there, now you can’t escape me even over summer break.”

and he doesn’t. because you text him about your trip when you’re there, you send him pictures of the scenery and of the food you’re eating and you’re really inconsiderate because you send him that shit when he’s stuck in soccer bootcamp with twenty-four sweaty guys who’s none the better than him.

sae can end it by all means, just by not responding to you, but for the first time, talking to someone isn’t really a pain, and he thinks you’re kind of funny and the stickers you send are kind of cute so he’ll let this continue. even if by continue he means sending mediocre, lacklustre responses that just barely manages to keep the conversation going.

(in sae’s mind at eighteen, sending replies like okay and i see are considered acceptable and subjectively considered effort.)

when summer break finally ends and it’s early september, sae finally sees you again while he walks to school. he walks a little faster just to catch up to you before he adjusts his pace, acts like it’s coincidence that he’s right beside you.

and somehow he’s made it a routine; to memorise what bus you get off of and catch you on the way to school. even if he sees you in classes and even after classes in the library.

you’re acting a little less like he’s on a podium and more like normal friends and he kind of likes that. he likes being able to see you unfiltered when you gossip, likes seeing you laugh at stupid lame jokes, likes the way you hang close to him whenever you’re beside him.

okay maybe like is a little stretching it, he doesn’t mind being able to tolerate it. or maybe he’s just in denial, whatever.

winter comes and it’s somehow the time when more girls try to talk to him, mainly because somehow the school decides to hold a winter event this year; it’s going to be held near the edge of the city, where the biggest skating rink is.

by his guess, most girls are looking for a guy to have a skating date with.

in the library during your usual meetup for the school project, sae gets more than a couple visitors trying to get him for that same reason. you eye everyone that approaches the table, and sae can’t help but notice how he actually likes when you’re pouty. maybe it’s his twisted thinking that jealousy means you’re still into him.

“itoshi-kun, i was thinking whether you wanted to go to the winter event together?” another girl from your class, mizuno, asks him, and sae is tired of it, frankly. but he doesn’t show it. he only looks at you, and you look back at him because he doesn’t usually stare for this long.

then, he looks at mizuno and rejects her.

“sorry, can’t, i’m going with y/n.”

(you get home that day being completely flustered and completely happy.)

on the day of the event, sae keeps his word. he goes with you, sticks beside you the entire time. his friends snap pictures of the two of you and you always look so embarrassed. maybe you’re just not used to all of this attention. but that’s fine, it’s cute.

one thing he learns about you is that you can be real clumsy sometimes. like now, when you get so excited over your watermelon slushie that you somehow spill it all over your jacket and clothes.

sae ends up giving you his puffy winter jacket while he braves the cold with whatever he has left. that’s fine, he’s strong. besides, getting to watch you wear his jacket the entire time feels like a bonus somehow.

he thinks by now you should confess already, but you don’t. you’re happy to stay in this bubble with him right now, whichever phase the two of you are at. so is he. it feels kind of nice.

feels especially nice when you hang onto him for dear life in the skating rink even though neither of you are moving. sae’s aware that people are staring holes into both of you but it’s strange how much he doesn’t mind when it’s with you. that’s why he holds his hands out, lets you take them, makes himself pull you along. he finds himself wishing neither of you were wearing gloves so he could feel how soft your hands are.

by the end of the day, everyone takes it that the both of you are together, even though the both of you are too avoidant to talk about it.

“hey, sae? thanks for today,” you say later that night when everything is done and you’d had the giddiest experience with sae. he’s walking you home and he doesn’t even know why; it’s a mystery to him why he keeps himself close whenever he can.

“it’s fine, i was the one who told people i was going with you, so.”

when he gets you to your front porch, you don’t go in immediately, standing right there with your back facing him, and sae wonders what’s going through your head. if only he could see the expression on your face right now, maybe he’d know.

you let him; because you turn around, giving him a big smile before you take a step forward and press a chaste kiss on his cheek, immediately turning on your heel and running into your house.

neither of you say bye, both of you are just a little too stunned to speak. sae stands out there in the cold for a little while longer, his face and ears red—he’s not even sure whether it’s from the weather or from you—but even when he starts to leave, you’re still slumped at your front door, covering your face in embarrassment, knees too weak to stand up.

there’s only one more quarter left until you graduate and sae and you both act like nothing happened that day. you still gossip unfiltered and he still listens but acts like he doesn’t.

except now instead of sitting across from you, he opts to sit directly beside you. sometimes sits a little too close just so your arms will brush against each other. sae also lets you keep his puffy jacket because you said you liked it.

you wear it throughout winter.

when graduation comes around and it’s time for sae to choose his university, he can’t help but take a peek at your screen. a smile comes to his face when he sees your first choice is the same as his. you’re smart too, he doesn’t doubt you’ll get in.

“itoshi sae, you can smile?”

sae immediately turns it into a frown. “guess not.”

you take your words back. “hey, i’m just kidding! it’s just rare… that’s all.”

so you notice him a lot then?

sure, you might not have seen him smile a lot. but that’s fine. from what sae knows, you have the entirety of your university years to possibly catch it.

UNIVERSITY: FRESHMAN YEAR

of course you enter the same university as itoshi sae. it’s not on purpose, but you’re glad you both made it here anyway.

at least knowing one friendly face is better than none.

to be honest, you’re not really sure where you and sae stand. he’s never said anything about that kiss, but he also doesn’t stay away from you. can you take that as a positive thing?

if anything, he’s even closer.

somehow, his dorms and yours are practically next door. when you open your bathroom window, you can look right into his. it happened once, by accident, and you’d caught him, shirtless with just a white towel hanging around his neck, hair damp as he brushes his teeth, the droplets of water on his abs looking very inviting.

but then he caught you staring and you’ve shut your bathroom window ever since. thankfully, he never mentions it.

being in university and staying in campus meant that you were both hanging out much more informally. and you’d think that two people at the age of nineteen who’d known each other for three years would be less awkward than this but it’s you and sae and somehow there’s always an element of awkwardness.

it’s halfway into your freshman year and you’d just watched the first match that sae’s playing for the university team. you’re a little starstruck, honestly. to think that the guy you’ve always had a crush on is this good at soccer.

he’s amazing. you’re feeling like a potato sack.

“hey, you know him right?” hime gushes.

your friends are with you, so it’s natural they ask.

mira on your left sighs, “guess we have no shot with him since he’s with y/n all the time,” she says, nudging you in the elbow.

you’re starting to regret bringing them here with all the teasing. you’re also regretting coming here yourself because you see several girls running to him asking for a picture together. some of which you recognise, some of which are the popular girls.

sae doesn’t stop them from snapping what they can, but he also doesn’t stop for them at all. instead, he saunters over to you, hime and mira wordlessly disappearing to the side.

“gimme that,” sae says, gesturing to the phone in your hand. you obey, of course, and he smirks, then he snaps a selfie with you before tossing your phone back and walking off.

the pairs of eyes on you make you half-embarrassed yet half-proud. even with this many fangirls, sae chooses to come to you.

that night sae asks you to send him the picture.

yeah, maybe you can take that as a positive thing.

freshman year after that is generally uneventful. you and sae are both trying to find your footing, with him preoccupied mostly with soccer trainings while you’re drowning in assignments and projects that have nothing to do with him.

but you still see him in the mornings sometimes, when you walk past your common room and he’s in his, and you wave at him when he’s alone so you’re not so shy, and he nods in acknowledgement before he just walks away.

one night while you’re burning the midnight oil trying to cram some accounting knowledge into your brain, you get a text from sae.

wanna get supper?

both of you end up at one of the supper spots outside of school, a little cosy shop that sells boba and ramen even after midnight.

“why’d you wanna get supper?”

sae shrugs, taking a sip of his plain water. “just bored, couldn’t sleep.”

“isn’t this soccer season? you can’t even eat anything in here, it’s definitely not passable for your diet.”

he sighs, leaning back against his chair. “so? quit whining and start eating your shit already.”

if it was some other guy you’d be rolling your eyes and storming off. but it’s sae and you know him and he thinks he’s talking normally like this. besides, when you catch his eyes flicker up to lock with yours you get a little dizzy inside.

“what’re you up so late for anyway?”

sae’s fingers are drumming lightly against the surface of the metal table, teal eyes diligently observing as you bring the strands of noodle to your lips. “told you, i couldn’t sleep.”

you find that strange; he’s always been able to sleep, no problem. and he’s strict about his eight hour sleep schedule. what could be getting to the great itoshi sae?

(sae’s lying through his teeth; having his bedroom right across from yours means he can see when your lights aren’t out. sue him for being a little concerned.)

“so, heard you and the team are going on a soccer trip somewhere in europe,” you bring up. you’d heard it from your friends, strangely, instead of sae himself.

he nods. “yeah, just a select few,” he tells you, “only if we win the tournament though, then the team’ll officially invite us over.”

so-called team you heard about is real madrid, and you’d be crazy to think that sae couldn’t help your university team win on his own.

“guess i won’t be seeing you around when you go,” you mumble idly, not completely aware of what you’re basically saying.

sae is adept at reading in between the lines, but he doesn’t probe you on it. he’s not sure he wants to. he doesn’t know what this is. do you still like him? does he like you too? all these feelings are new; sae doesn’t know what to do with it.

so he keeps it to himself. for now.

he doesn’t really do a good job at following through with it though, because on the day of the tournament finals, he looks at you and winks right as he orchestrates that winning goal for his team, and you’re left wondering if you’re imagining things.

UNIVERSITY: SOPHOMORE YEAR

the final part of your freshman year went and gone, and it didn’t go exactly how you imagined it to be. you didn’t expect to hear from sae at all when he went on his trip after that tournament.

but you did.

he replied you whenever he had the time. told you anything you asked for. even called you when you had a mini meltdown because of finals.

to be frank, you don’t know what the both of you are anymore. you’re cursing yourself for being too scared to ask.

“hey y/n, have you seen hime anywhere?”

it’s oliver asking, captain of the university’s soccer team and also hime’s current situationship. he’d started hitting her up since that first time sae played and brought attention to you and the people around you.

“yeah, she’s by the pool with mira.”

oliver leaves as soon as you tell him, and you stand awkwardly at the corner of the living room, by the full panel of glass windows, wondering if you should just go home. you’d only came because hime and mira both said you needed to experience a party at least once this year but now you’re surrounded by people making out and drunkards slipping into the pool that it makes you regret giving this a shot at all.

especially since sae’s not going to be back till tomorrow, garnering as much interest as he did during his time in spain. you really have no reason to be here.

“hey there, pretty.”

startled, you find a familiar face up close in your personal space, his finger twirling your hair. you’d recognise that head of blonde and pink anywhere.

“oh, you’re ryusei shido right? you’re on the soccer team with sae,” you think out loud, and he nods, and you can see his blonde lashes so closely it’s making you flustered.

“mhm, fwhat’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a corner? seems like a shame,” he comments, though he doesn’t even give you a chance to answer. the next thing you know, shido drags you into a drinking game with hime and mira (which is why your first instinct wasn’t to run off, if you could trust anyone it’s your best friends). although, shido is getting annoyingly close and you can’t decide if you’re nervous or annoyed.

and the heavens surely love you when they let shido draw the card that corresponds to a dare, and they love testing your boundaries when some guy called otoya dares him to kiss you.

but no, you know that the heavens really do love you when someone yanks shido’s hair back and pulls him away from your face, taking his spot in between the both of you in the bid for proximity that you don’t mind because it’s itoshi sae.

“sae, what’re you doing here? i thought you wouldn’t be back till tomorrow,” you ask, a little shell-shocked but you still notice he’s discerning frown and how there’s barely any space between the two of you.

he looks at you, tilting his head, “what? my girl’s not happy to see me here?”

you don’t respond. half because you think you’re dreaming and fuck—really, did he just call you his girl?

“eh? i don’t recall you having a girlfriend?” shido leers, a hand on the spot of his head where sae had pulled on earlier.

“yeah, besides, shido still has to do the dare.” otoya sounds bored more than anything, but the guy beside him, karasu, if you remember correctly, is smirking.

sae sighs, and you feel like you must’ve crossed the boundary to another dimension when you feel sae’s lips on yours, and you think you’re in limbo when you feel his hand on your neck, pulling you close. his tongue pries your lips apart and people are whistling while shido’s behind him saying get a fucking room or i’ll beat off to this.

when the object of your affection finally pulls away, you’re met with the same pair of unbothered teal eyes, the pair that immediately turns to face otoya. “there, did it for him. now move on.”

you’re beginning to thank alcohol for its existence when almost everyone obeys wordlessly, moving on to some other guy’s turn. you really can’t remember who sits on shido’s right when all you can think of is that itoshi sae, your longtime high school crush, actually kissed you.

that’s enough to warrant the question, right? the question of what sae takes you for?

the inner debate sparks long into the night, even when sae walks you back to your apartment, the both of you side by side in silence.

“sae, what was that?”

he plays coy. “what was what?”

you’re only a little tipsy, so you can still tolerate his avoidance. “you confuse me a lot, you know that?”

sae doesn’t take the bait. “oh, i see.”

“you were jealous.” he was. he really was. you can tell; he was sour to shido the entire night. he stuck close to you too, sometimes your fingers brushed against each other’s.

“so what if i was?”

this one is new. sae’s actually admitting it. and usually you’d chicken out but you can see your apartment coming into view and you don’t want to let this go.

“what am i to you, sae?” you manage to choke it out a few feet away from the door, and sae stops in his tracks, hands in his pocket and teal eyes looking heavenward.

you’re beginning to regret your decision to ask; you’re not sure if his indecision is a good or bad thing. nothing seems to be simple when it comes to itoshi sae.

but he does nothing to appease your confusion when he steps in front of you, his body pressed flush against yours as he presses another kiss to your lips, and you think this one is special because it’s not done in the name of a dare or in front of anyone else. this kiss is for you and you alone and sae is doing this on purpose.

when he pulls back, you see him furrow his brows and you can tell that maybe he’s just as confused as you are.

“when i managed to get an earlier slot for my flight, all i could think about was how excited i was to see you.”

is this… a confession? you’re even more confused now that you don’t even know what to say.

to be honest, so is sae, which is why he swallows the lump in his throat and relegates to his apartment, “goodnight.”

things after that change just a little.

you’d decided to go with the flow, just because you really don’t want to sabotage whatever friendship you and sae had left, although most of the time, sae is the one toeing the line. even though he doesn’t outright tell you anything regarding his feelings.

but you think you figured him out.

sae asks you out whenever you’re both free, and not for shit like studying or errands, but for movies and dinner and he drives you around in his car and looks at you like you’re the only girl he sees. his eyes don’t wander when he’s with you, and he lets you wear even more of his jackets. it’s also evolved to his jerseys and his beloved windbreakers. you have one of each in your own closet and he never seems to ask for them back anymore. he also lets you wear his rings, puts them on your fingers randomly.

both of you still go for parties, especially when it’s one of the soccer guys who are throwing it, because they practically force sae to go and they know you’re the key to convincing him.

most of the time the two of you just laze on the couch, drinking and talking about nothing at all, and he idly plays with your fingers when he’s tipsy, something you never tell him because you like it, because you don’t want him to feel self-conscious and stop. he also smells your hair after he sends you home and hugs you before he retreats to his place, and you wonder if he’s fully sober when he does that.

you resign to getting your answer some other time, because you don’t want anything to ruin this, if this is just an illusion. yeah, you’d talking feelings some other time.

UNIVERSITY: JUNIOR YEAR

you really had no right to be, but you are. try as you might, you can’t stop yourself from feeling the way you do. especially not when she’s sitting so so close to him, when her hand brushes his fingers.

she’s just his project partner, nothing more, but something irks you about the way she can get so close to him so quickly when it took you much longer. but then you hear from shido that kaori is rin and sae’s childhood friend, so maybe that’s why they’re so damn close.

apparently, she’d gotten back to japan after ten years abroad. with great timing too, right when you thought you and sae could amount to something.

“you know, i could help you make him jealous if you wanna,” shido whispers in your ear one time when he catches you staring at them. “we’ll make him feel how you feel, m’kay?”

and while that’s tempting, you shake your head. it’s unreasonable for you to take it out on him that way, not when he hasn’t actually done anything that proves he’s just leading you on.

lately sae’s been so busy around kaori that you’re just thinking too much. you’re wondering if he’s slowly replacing you. he still talks to you over text, but you barely hang out like you did before. you still spot him through the windows, but he’s always too tired to notice you. even his texts are getting slower.

“hey, you okay?”

trust it to hime to notice your personal dilemma. you’re not really surprised though, because she’s been watching you moping for the last few weeks. she now has oliver wrapped fully around her finger, with him sticking around her all the time, which is a surprise considering his reputation.

but hime will take your side, you know this, and maybe that’s why you play it off. you don’t want her to hate sae because of a momentary feeling, so you tell her you’re just sick and you’ll go back home.

the moment you get back to your apartment, you see sae waiting out on the front, car ready while he leans against the hood, waiting.

and you might’ve asked if he was waiting for kaori, but then he looks up and sees you and smirks and that’s all you need to know that he’s not. he was waiting for you, and now he’s opening the passenger side door and telling you to “get in, stupid.”

that’s how sae is with you, impromptu and surprisingly sweet. he drives you to the pier, a cute spot right next to an amusement park where he’d gotten you some candy floss before the both of you just sits on the hood of his car, enjoying the scenery.

“why’d you suddenly bring me here?”

sae lies down, the sun hitting his face in all the right places. he’s gorgeous, you realise for what seems like the thousandth time since you’d known him.

“oliver told me you’d been a little mopey lately,” sae says, and you’re already embarrassed. “sorry if i’ve been busy lately.”

you mirror his position, lying down next to him, and it feels oddly nice like this. you’re not sure if it’s the situation or the person.

“it’s okay, i heard that kaori’s your old friend right? you guys must have a lot to catch up on.” it doesn’t stop you from feeling jealous, but it’ll pass. you hope.

sae chuckles before he turns to you, and you turn to face him too, “you’re jealous.” he smirks, and you’re reminded of the same thing you told him that first night he kissed you.

“shut up, sae.”

he laughs because you’re being pouty, and because maybe it feels a little nice to know you can feel it too. just then, he mirrors what you did way back in high school, reaching across you for your phone. except he doesn’t key in anything—he opens up your camera and takes a picture of the two of you like this, sae looking naturally handsome and better than you because you’re stunned he’s doing this, eyes wide and expression puzzled.

“what’s that for?”

sae’s still fiddling on your phone as you ask, and then he passes it back to you. he’d set it as your phone’s wallpaper.

“to remind you that you’re the one i like, idiot.”

and even though you and sae aren’t physically too close in the wallpaper, you think maybe it’s enough to tide your feelings through for now. he doesn’t ask you for anything else after that, just leaves his confession at that and sends you home before saying he has to finish up his project, aka going to find kaori.

it’s fine by you though, because now you know where sae’s head’s at, even though he never explicitly asked you anything. you’re sure he knows how you feel too, especially since you’d been the one to kiss him first that day a few years back.

but how apt for you to go to sleep early and be woken up by dozens of messages blowing up your phone, the majority of them attaching pictures at a certain party.

still pictures of sae locking lips with kaori, and you feel your heart sinking.

sae’s message comes through just as you’re scrolling through your phone.

meet me at my place? not what it looks like, i promise.

and maybe it’s because you feel like you know sae well enough that you’re not even panicking. you respond within seconds.

sure, see you!

you take the liberty of going next door, entering when one of the other guys who lives there clumsily walks in drunk. it’s easy enough to find sae’s room, you recognise it from across your own room too well. and maybe it’s a slight invasion of privacy but you can’t help but turn your attention to his desk.

his room is all neat with the occasional laundry thrown on the corner of the room, trophies and medals on the bookshelf by the table. but what catches your eye is the little pink heart-shaped post-it note that looks all too familiar.

your handwriting fills the piece of paper.

i think you’re cute and i really really like you

you could cringe right now from how cringe you were being back then. but then you realise, sae kept this? did he keep this knowing it was from you? you hear the door opening downstairs and jump back a little, accidentally pressing on his keyboard while trying to place your note back in its position, and the screensaver that greets you renders you speechless.

it’s the picture sae took of the both of you at the bleachers of his first match.

someone closes the laptop before you can think any more, and you’re greeted with sae right next to you, cheeks flushed—either from alcohol or embarrassment. you can’t really tell, but judging from the lack of alcohol stench, you’d like to bet it’s the latter.

“you have me as your wallpaper?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed he didn’t get there in time for you not to see that. “who else would i put there?”

you bite your tongue to stop yourself from instinctively saying kaori out of spite. guess you’re still a little groggy from being woken up in the middle of the night.

“about earlier,” sae begins, not really sure how to continue.

“you mean the pics going around of you and kaori kissing?” you’re not even mad, you’re sure there’s an explanation—that’s how much you feel you know itoshi sae. he’s not the type to bother with leading someone on; if anything, he’s probably the type to immediately cut things off if he wasn’t interested and so far, he’s always been thinking of you.

sae sighs, rubbing his temple before taking a seat on his bed. “that was fucking stupid,” he grumbles, eyes closed. “she was way too tipsy and getting all up in my face and before i knew it she just—” his eyes are open now, briefly looking at you before looking away, hiding behind the sides of his soft locks, “she kissed me. i was stunned for a little so…”

you snicker a little, because sae looks so different from how he usually looks—aloof, ignorant, arrogant. now he looks like a puppy who’s been kicked to the side and you can’t help but notice the difference.

“sae… why are you telling me this?”

screw his indecisiveness, if it was in the first place. you want his answer now, up straight. and sae seems to know what you’re thinking because he chuckles, relieved because he can read your tone—you’re not angry, not upset, you trust him somehow and it’s only because despite what you think, you know him better than anyone else.

“fuck off, y/n, you already know,” and he says this affectionately because you can feel the tenderness in the way he says your name, in the way he invites you into his arms—the way he pulls you close and lets you sit facing him on his lap. “you gonna be my girlfriend now or what?”

your lips are so so close and you’re both holding back so so much. “mmm i don’t know, itoshi sae, what if i wanna see you beg me for it?”

“god, i hate you,” he says, without meaning it. it’s the first time you’re actually feeling how strong he is, because he lifts you up from the back of your thighs and throws you on his bed as he hovers over you, a little squeal leaving your lips at the unexpected gesture. “hm, kinda like that sound you make.”

he’s saying it so monotonously that you’re embarrassed. “shut up, sae, before i leave.”

“that’s cute, you think you’d actually leave me,” he teases, and you curse yourself for finding that slight condescending tone of his hot. “but hey, really, be my girlfriend.”

“you asking me that after kissing another girl?” you act shocked, acutely aware of how his fingers are all intertwining with yours, your hands on either side of your head, sae pinning you down. if anyone walked in now, they’d get the wrong idea of what you two are doing. for sure. but you try to act unbothered, you don’t want to boost his ego even more.

sae leans down to press his forehead against yours, and you’re hoping your heart doesn’t leap out of your chest because he’d definitely feel it. “shit timing, i know. but you’re the only one i want, so.”

he’s pretty shit at talking emotions, you realise. and then you realise that this only works because you’re equally good at reading his. despite his reluctance to talk emotions, he shows you how special you are, constantly.

many girls want him, but you’re the one he spends most of his time with. you’re the one with his actual clothes in your closet and his rings on your fingers. you’re the one sae kisses and willingly so, the only one who’s on his wallpaper reminding him of what he’ll have each time he comes home.

“i told kaori i liked you and no one else too,” sae continues explaining, though he really doesn’t need to. you listen anyway. “she got mad and stormed off but shit, i don’t care. only care about you.”

and he’s pretty forthcoming with his feelings when he wants to be and that’s enough for you. you squeeze his fingers lightly and smile at him.

you don’t have to hear any more to know.

“i love you too, itoshi sae.”

the way he marks you that night lets you in on everything you need to know.

UNIVERSITY: SENIOR YEAR

six years.

it’s been six years since you’d first had a crush on itoshi sae. and now you’re his girlfriend, always in the front row for every match and the object of most of his fangirls’ hatred. that’s okay though, none of that matters.

whenever you come back home to your (shared) apartment now, it’s like all your worries melt away into the void, and sae reminds you just how much you mean. even if his pet names are less than swoon-worthy at times.

“you really need to stop posting shit like this,” you deadpan, showing sae your phone screen. it’s a picture of you asleep in the morning, drooling on his bare shoulder.

sae blinks, acting coy like he always does. “what? it’s cute.”

“you’re insufferable, itoshi.”

sae ignores that, switching the subject. “hey, you have any goals for your twenties?”

you hum, pondering. “well, i guess if i could do what i want, i’d travel the world,” you pause, sitting up on the sofa and looking at him. “why?”

it’s the last year of university, and the both of you are finishing your degrees, with the possibility that sae might be getting a contract with one of the overseas clubs. you’re not really sure; there’s a few of them who’ve expressed interest, but you’d always let sae think through it on his own.

does his question have something to do with that?

“was thinking i wanted to take you along if you wanted to come with,” sae half explains, because he’s bad with details like that. he continues when he spots your confusion, “if you wanted to explore wherever i decided to go.”

oh, he means he wants to take you along to wherever he decided to go. you’re flattered, honestly.

“you mean, the itoshi sae wants to bring me wherever he goes, huh?” sae is already turning red, sensing your big head. “you offering to be my sugar daddy too?”

sae sighs. “you’re so stupid, i swear,” he complains, his words lacking any bite because he’s rubbing circles onto your arms. “you said you found some remote jobs right? thought we could make use of that and just go wherever together.”

after six years, you finally see sae trying to plan a future where the both of you are together. he loves soccer, but he loves you too, and you’re not the kind of person who’d make him choose, so you appreciate his compromises instead.

“itoshi sae, i’ll follow you wherever you go.”

he presses a hasty kiss on your lips, “good, ‘cause i plan on keeping you forever.”

you grin, pulling him down to you and kissing him even deeper, “i’ll hold you to your words, then.”

sae smiles against your lips. because he knows he got lucky with you, lucky you were there at the right moment, slipping your love letter into his locker. lucky you continued to like him, lucky you knew how to put him in his place whenever. lucky you’re you and you love him.

maybe he’s always liked you, even back in freshman year of high school when he realised how kind you are, how gentle you could be. you looked pretty in the sun that day, when he first saw you trying out soccer in the yard and falling flat on your ass. you didn’t notice him back then but he noticed you, not that you knew. sae didn’t try anything because he was sure it’d fail. but who knew all it took for his mind to change was a simple nudge from you?

he’s pretty sure that you’re his human manifestation of a forever.

“when the time comes, just say yes.”

miya atsumu x f!reader

tags: con noncon, anal, public bathroom, degradation, dacryphilia

you know that atsumu always demands absolute silence for his serves. you know it, but it’s also been a while since he’s been rough with you, and you crave it. so you muster up all your courage and scream his name just after he commands the room. you know instantly that he recognizes your voice, but he doesn’t even look at you, and you watch as he hits one of the most intense jump serves you’ve ever seen. 

atsumu finds you as soon as he exits the locker rooms and without a word pull’s you into the men’s washrooms. he glares at the man washing his hands, who scrambles off, and pushes you into the stall.

“yer a fuckin’ pig, y’know?” he hisses, holding your upper arm with bruising force.

you whimper, “tsumu—”

“shut yer mouth,” he spins you around, bending you over the filthy toilet, “ya really pissed me off this time, y/n.”

Keep reading

(𝟏) 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋

ও rating. explicit

ও summary. you work for an anonymous phone sex business on campus, andyou would have never guessed that your first client would be the Atsumu Miya—most popular guy on campus who sits three seats ahead of you in calculus. and you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even know you exist. | wc. tbd.

cw/ tw. college au. nerd!reader, volleyball player Atsumu, phone sex, dirty talk, mild hurt/comfort, miscommunication, fraternity parties, rough sex, unprotected sex, praise kink, strangers to lovers

ও featuring. Atsumu x Fem!Reader 

ও an. okay, i turned my self-indulgent fic into a multi-part fic:) please comment on this post if you’d like to be tagged. NOTE: the Taglist is closed

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Please remember to read all content warnings before proceeding.

Part One—You get your first caller, and can’t tell why he sounds so familiar…until you do.

cw/ tw. phone sex, praise kink, pet names (ex. baby, sweetheart)

Part Two—After weeks of phone calls, you get to know Atsumu which makes pretending a little more difficult.

cw/ tw. tba…

Part Three—Things get even more difficult when Atsumu needs help with his homework before his next game, and who better to help him than the class tutor.

cw/ tw. tba…

Part Four—The truth always finds a way of coming out.

cw/ tw. tba…

Part Five—Atsumu confronts you.

cw/ tw. tba…

© satorini 2022—do not copy, paste, or translate my works anywhere.

(Sequel to ‘This memory is being forgotten’)

WE'RE ABOUT TO WITNESS THIS!!!!!

— Sylvia Plath, from The Bell Jar

wakatoshi smiling.. reblog for good luck (clear skin, good grades, financial luck etc)

— 𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐤𝐲𝐮𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐢𝐢.

voicemail i

miya atsumu x fem reader

wc: 650

missed call from: atsumu

the first installment of the voicemail series!! dedicating this one to the wonderful @shoyokuns​ for enabling and inspiring me for this one behehe… love u v much <3

previous / next

nsfw, fem reader, noncon, masturbation, stalking, voyeurism

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