⋆. 𐙚 ̊ how they kiss you — love and deepspace
including. zayne, xavier, rafayel, sylus, caleb
genre. fem! reader, making out (quite sexual), body fondling, established relationship
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ zayne
there's always a subtle silence before you happen to feel it— you know? the way zayne watches your lips like he's studying anatomy again— not clinically, silly! but reverently, like he might carve the shape of your mouth into his memory.
so precise, so devout, it borders on madness. soaked in tension and lust— quite obsessive, don't you agree? almost grotesque in how deeply he desired you.
the man leans in, close enough for his breath to ghost over your skin as he abruptly stops, catching himself in the same course of action he tends to take, every damn time.
zayne held himself back like the act of restraint was the only thing keeping him from collapsing into you completely, succumbing to those pretty, warm lips of yours as something deep inside of him broke that night.
he's going deeper before pressing into your lips at last— his psyche, his shadows, the way the hunger on his tongue felt different than anyone else's as he cups your face like he's afraid of shattering it, mouth crashing into yours.
not messy, not wild, instead, devastatingly precise— and every stroke of his warm muscle felt like it's been rehearsed in secret, fantasized about in sinful dreams as his hand slides down your throat, thumb resting on your pulse like he's checking it— not for medical reasons, but for control.
the kiss deepens and sharpens at the edges of each lap and suckle of your bottom lip between his teeth as his body presses you to the nearest surface with a force just edging on subtle bruising— and when your fingers suddenly thread into his hair to taste him more, when you pull him harder into you— he groans low, a sound rattling from somewhere hidden and forbidden, yes, like something sacred within him was being exposed.
and well, in that exposé, zayne finds a terrible, exquisite relief in each slip and slide of your tongues intertwining, bodies stroking each other as though this was the only way he's ever known how to feel alive.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ xavier
xavier touches you first— although not to grope, yet to ground himself with his palm on your shaking hip while his other hand brushes against your soft cheek, and that look on him which was revealed next haunted you— like he's seeing a future he doesn’t believe he deserves.
slow, searching, his lips coax across your bottom lip, the tension behind each suckle on it unbearable as he continues to trace yours like he's adamant to make it everlasting. your boyfriend grunted like restraint stretched thin inside his frame, like one more kiss might tip him over the edge into something more, well, feral? ugh, but he holds himself back of course.
yet just barely.
those kisses you shared weren't just random pecks here and there, they felt like confessions, truly, like a collapse of two loving hearts forming a dance of possession— each movement sharpening to the truth of what this relationship meant to him, all of it rooted in desire and lust, shadowed with emotional gravity and physical intensity of hands squeezing your flesh.
and you felt it, all of it— the tremble in his fingers, the quiet threat of his teeth brushing just behind every soft tug at your lip, as though even the smallest motion could unravel him further.
you arch into him, obediently feeling the low, guttural sound that escaped his throat— a half moan, a sound so faint it could almost be mistaken for a prayer, whispered to no god at all, but to the madness he cannot escape.
your lips stay close at all times, breathing hard against each other with foreheads pressed together, "i don't want to hurt you," his voice, thick with restraint, was taken hostage somewhere between a confession and collapse, yet his hands disobey him at last— sliding beneath your shirt with a quiet desperation, mapping the ridges of your shape like he's meant to be.
truly, if you let him keep going with those addictive kisses, he'll worship you until he forgets where he ends and you begin.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ rafayel
hands in your hair, rafayel's lips were already open and panting, breath warm and uneven and jaw slacked, well, it's all then and there with no waiting, no warning— just the sudden, dizzying sensation of being devoured by the man you loved.
his tongue was everywhere on you— teasing you, curling and invading your mouth as he moans into your parted lips, pulling your lower lip between his teeth and laughing when you gasp out in slight shock— quite literally, the man loved to push you over the edge, he lived for the sweet, little responses you'd grace him with in return.
from being tangled in your hair to squeezed within your clothes, rafayel slides down further to cup your ass, squeezing the addicting mounds of flesh as you wince into his hold, "ugh, you taste like a bad decision," he smirks, whispering against your mouth, yet already leaning right back in.
before you could even response to him he kisses you harder, deeper, lapping and lapping and lapping his hefty tongue against your own as your hips were grinding against him just enough to make the room spin and your eyes roll back into your skull.
without a doubt, every second with him felt like falling and screaming and shattering all at once— fast at that, disoriented and inevitable when all you needed is for him to imbed you with his scent until there was nothing left of you to claim.
it's there when you realize that rafayel tasted like the sweetest sin that has ever existed, not kissing to seduce, but to ruin— and make sure you’re begging him for it.
for a slight second he pulls away just enough to look at your lips and what he's done to them— and would you look at that? your boyfriend adored the lusting sight of swollen, glistening, needy lips parted and puffed up, "baby, you're gonna be the death of me."
rafayel says it like it's a promise.
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ sylus
you can’t call this a kiss— no, not with the way sylus's mouth drags across yours like he's already lost the war against wanting you.
to call it a claim would be closer though, but even that sounds too civilized. there is nothing civil about the way his tongue parts your lips— wet, scorching, impatient, nothing gentle in the sting of his teeth catching your mouth, just enough to pull breath from your lungs and copper to your tongue.
he tastes it— even better, tastes you— and it makes something violent bloom in his chest as he growls out embarrassingly loud, not like an animal but like a man who's tasted divinity and was furious that he ever lived without it in the past.
his grip on your hips tighten as he drags you against him, feeling you up like shame didn't exist in his vocabulary, in fact, it quite literally didn't.
not a flicker of hesitation, not even the illusion of pause— only the dreadful inevitability of a hunger given form around his tongue, his lips moving with the certainty of something long premeditated, as if his body had been waiting its entire life for permission to devour you.
he doesn’t ask for allowance to be rougher, sylus knows he doesn’t need to.
his mouth licks into yours with a frenzied rhythm, like he’s trying to bury every unspeakable thought inside your throat as every shove, every bitten gasp, every ragged exhale that leaves his body was a hidden confession disguised as a dominating sin.
the man was not delicate. he was not kind. but he was true.
terrifyingly, brutally true.
furthermore, his tongue traces a wet line from your bottom lip, creeping toward your jaw, then dipping lower to your neck— infused with desperation and something dangerously raw.
his teeth find your skin at last— not out of need, no, but out of some dark impulse deep hidden beneath his heart, as if marking you up was the only act left that can prove he existed, that he's here, tethered to a body that's already unraveling.
"you have no fucking idea," he pants, his breath a jagged rhythm against your skin as if the act of inhaling and exhaling was the only thing that kept him secured— each exhalation a tremor, a faint admission of the madness threatening to spill over.
he smirks, "what you’ve done to me."
⋆. 𐙚 ̊ caleb
in the language of a yearning man, caleb doesn't speak— instead the silence clung to him like a second skin, as if words would shatter whatever fragile shell still held him upright.
as an alternative, his hands found your waist as he exhales deeply from his mouth when he feels your body— yet tentative at first, but with a pressure that deepens and sharpens, afterwards he leans in to kiss you.
not in a haste, no, not like a man chasing basic pleasure, but like a man aching with his mouth against yours— slow, burning, unbearably tender.
his lips taste of quiet torment, of years spent repressing the thing now trembling beneath his touch and the longer it goes on, the more unraveled he becomes— now here, his breath falters, his jaw tenses and when his tongue brushes up against your own needy one, it is with such aching slowness that it felt like a sin.
he grips your jaw softly, almost fearfully, as if he cannot believe you're letting him touch you as his other hand slips beneath the waistband of your pants— fingertips skimming over your bare flesh and squeezing at it like he's utterly worshipping you.
more and more, you want more but the kiss breaks open, becoming wet and open-mouthed, desperate and messy and ugh— caleb cannot stop and neither can you, even less when you whine at him all quietly and overstimulated, the kind of sound which made a man fall on his knees.
okay, he should pull away, correct? uh, before you'll both be unable to stop and take it further, you see the truth in that?
well, he doesn’t.
and neither do you.
©2025 anantaru do not repost, copy, translate, modify, claim as your own
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Alright, guys! Your reaction to MC’s dramatic disappearance (and the even more dramatic meltdown from the LADs—especially Xavier 👀) has been absolutely wild! I can’t thank you enough! 💖
I couldn’t just ignore your cries of despair and leave you hanging, so... I wrote a continuation with Xavier. 😏🔥
If you didn’t suffer enough in the last part, well—buckle up. 😈 But seriously, I’m beyond grateful for all the love and engagement, and now I’ve got just one question... who’s next?! 👀💀
Previous Part
The door closes behind you with a quiet click.
Silence settles.
It doesn’t matter that the apartment is empty. Xavier is still here.
Not physically. But in the way the air still feels heavy with the weight of his words. In the way your phone stays too quiet, too still, despite how many times you check it. In the way his white hoodie—the one you never returned—hangs loosely around your shoulders, fabric slightly too big, smelling faintly of something cold, something distant, something unmistakably him.
You should take it off.
You don’t.
Not even when you curl up on the couch, pressing your face into the collar, trying to pretend that it doesn’t ache.
Trying to pretend that you don’t miss him.
But you do.
And it’s only been one night.
The apartment is too quiet. Too hollow. The kind of silence that isn’t empty, but suffocating—thick with the weight of something unspoken, something unfinished.
Xavier doesn’t message you.
Not in the morning. Not in the afternoon. Not even at night, when the absence of his voice becomes unbearable, pressing down on your chest like a phantom weight.
You tell yourself it’s fine. That this is what you wanted. That he deserved it.
And yet, every time you reach for your phone—every time your fingers hover over the screen, itching to type something—anything—you stop.
Because if you start, you might not be able to stop.
And if you see his name flash across the screen, if you hear his voice—cold, restrained, the way it was when he told you to ask him again in six days—you might break.
And you refuse to be the first to break.
You told yourself you wouldn't do this.
Wouldn't pace the apartment, wouldn't reach for the door only to stop before your fingers brush the handle, wouldn't let yourself hover by the window as if expecting to see him below, walking with that same unshakable stride, hands in his pockets, the night folding around him like a living shadow.
You bite the inside of your cheek and turn away. This is ridiculous.
But it doesn’t stop your mind from unraveling the last time you saw him, the words that still sit on your skin like a bruise, aching, pulsing.
"You did it again."
Your voice was tight, measured, but it carried that dangerous edge, the one that meant you weren’t just angry—you were done.
Xavier stood in the doorway, his coat draped loosely over his shoulders, blood darkening the sleeve where it stuck to his arm. His own.
And yet, his expression remained unchanged.
"I handled it."
Effortless. Dismissive. As if bleeding out in the doorway wasn’t a cause for concern.
Your hands curled into fists at your sides. "You went into the No-Hunt Zone alone."
He exhaled slowly, unbothered, unconcerned. "Yes."
You wanted to shake him. Wanted to rip through that maddening, unflinching calm that always seemed to turn every argument into a chess match—where he never lost control, never let emotion slip past the surface.
"You promised," you said, quieter now, not because the anger had left, but because it was worse—quieter meant sharper, meant it was sinking in.
His gaze flickered. Not quite hesitation, but something close. Something annoyingly unreadable.
"I never promised," he corrected. "I said I’d be careful."
"You almost died last time," you snapped. "Or did you forget?"
A slow blink. "I don’t forget anything."
The weight of that truth settled like ice in your stomach.
"Then remember this." Your voice wavered just slightly. "You’re not immortal, Xavier."
His lips twitched, a fraction of amusement in the gesture. "Debatable."
You took a step forward. "You think longevity makes you untouchable?"
"I think," he said, tilting his head slightly, "that I’ve survived worse."
You stared at him. At the blood drying against his skin. At the way he stood so still, so effortlessly unaffected.
And that’s when you understood.
He had already made peace with his own death. And he expected you to do the same.
The thought made something break inside you.
"You want me to be a widow before I even get to be a wife?"
It came out before you could stop it, before you could think.
A flicker of something crossed his face—not shock, not emotion, but stillness. A brief, split-second pause.
And then, he shut it down.
"You’re being dramatic."
You stepped back as if struck. You didn’t realize your hands were shaking until you curled them into fists.
And then you laughed—soft, hollow, bitter. "You’re unbelievable."
"I’m realistic," he corrected.
That was when you left. You turned on your heel and walked out, before the frustration, the helplessness, the aching, consuming anger could drag you under.
And he let you go.
***
Now, you’re the one left behind.
You should have told him then. Told him how much it terrified you, the thought of coming back one day only to find his body on a slab, cold, lifeless, just another statistic in the war against Wanderers.
But you didn’t. Instead, you left. And now you’re here.
Alone.
Your phone is still on the table.
You stare at it for too long, the words forming and dissolving in your mind. You should write to him. It’s always been easier to write than to say it out loud. Because words—especially the ones that matter—come with too much weight, too much risk of cracking, of unraveling.
You start to type.
📱 You: Xav, I—
Your fingers freeze. You stare at the unfinished message for too long.
Then you delete it.
You sigh, rubbing your hands over your face, trying to chase away the exhaustion clawing at your mind.
At some point, you fall onto the couch, curling into yourself. The hoodie is still wrapped around you, the fabric worn and familiar, carrying the last traces of him.
Your eyelids feel heavy. Just for a moment, you close them.
A sharp vibration against the glass table jolts you awake. For a brief, heart-stopping second, you think it’s him.
Your fingers scramble for the phone, your pulse hammering, already too desperate for his name to appear on the screen.
Instead—
A message from a random, meaningless system notification.
You let out a slow breath. Your hands are shaking.
Because you had been waiting for him. Because some part of you still hoped.
You curl deeper into the hoodie, pressing your face into the fabric. And finally—you let yourself admit that you miss him too much.
The knock is barely there. So soft, so hesitant, like a ghost of sound rather than something real.
For a fleeting second—your heart leaps.
You open the door. The hallway is empty.
A cold draft brushes against your skin, slipping under the fabric of his hoodie.
But there, at your feet—a small black bag.
You kneel. Fingers brush over the label.
Painkillers. Electrolyte supplements. Emergency field rations. The essentials.
Your phone vibrates.
📱 Xavier: Take these.
You stare at the message, breathing out slowly through your nose.
A moment. A hesitation. Then—you type.
📱 You: Didn’t realize you made house calls.
📱 Xavier: I don’t. But you looked like you were about to collapse.
The words sink in too fast. Too easily.
Because of course, he noticed. Because of course, he knew. Because even now—even after everything—he’s still watching.
Your grip tightens around the phone.
📱 You: So you’re keeping tabs on me now?
📱 Xavier: No need. I already know how reckless you are.
A pause.
Then—
📱 Xavier: Take the damn medicine.
You press your tongue against the raw sting of broken skin, the inside of your cheek already torn from the habit, fingers hovering over the screen.
You could ignore him. Could let the pills sit untouched, just to prove a point. Instead, you close your eyes. And swallow the first dose dry.
It’s not an apology. Not even close.
But it’s something.
And that’s why it hurts more.
***
The night stretches long and restless.
You wake in intervals—too hot, too cold, too aware of the ache in your chest that no amount of painkillers can dull.
Somewhere between sleep and waking, your fingers drift over the phone again.
You hesitate. Then type—
📱 You: You said six days.
A second passes. Another.
Then—
📱 Xavier: I did.
A breath catches in your throat.
He answered.
You don’t know why that surprises you. You don’t know why you expected silence.
📱 You: Then why are you here?
The response comes too quickly.
📱 Xavier: I’m not.
It shouldn’t sting.
It does.
***
Morning comes slow and suffocatingly heavy.
You don’t want to move. Don’t want to pull yourself from the warmth of the couch, the stale comfort of yesterday still clinging to the air.
But the world doesn’t stop just because your heart is cracked along the edges.
So you get up.
Force yourself into autopilot—shower, dress, coffee that you don’t even drink.
Your phone vibrates again.
📱 Xavier: Eat something real today.
You exhale sharply, tilting your head back against the kitchen counter.
Then—you type.
📱 You: Didn’t realize you were my dietitian now.
📱 Xavier: I’m not. But someone has to be.
Your jaw tightens.
📱 You: I’m fine, Xavier.
📱 Xavier: You’re lying, but okay.
The breath punches out of you before you even realize you’ve been holding it. Because he sees through you. He always does.
And you hate him for it.
You want to be angry. Want to tell him to back off. Want to remind him that he left first.
But instead—
📱 You: Did you eat?
A pause.
📱 Xavier: Of course.
You don’t believe him. But you let it go.
***
The day drags forward, sluggish and unforgiving.
By the time night falls again, you’ve checked your phone at least twenty times. You tell yourself it’s just habit.
It’s not.
You curl back into the couch, fingers ghosting over the hem of his hoodie, feeling the fabric twist between your hands.
You don’t know what you’re waiting for.
You don’t want to know.
The rain is relentless.
It starts while you're still at work—a slow, heavy downpour that turns the streets into rivers, neon lights smearing across the wet pavement. You watch it for a moment through the glass, jaw tightening when you realize you left your umbrella at home.
Perfect.
By the time you finally step outside, the water is already pooling at your feet, seeping into your boots, soaking through the edges of your sleeves. You shove your hands deeper into your pockets, hunching your shoulders against the cold, and walk.
It isn’t far. Just a few blocks. Just enough time for the silence to creep in again.
Your phone stays still. Xavier doesn’t message you. You don’t message him.
You’re not even sure what you would say.
The air in the apartment is thick with dampness when you finally push open the door, shaking the water from your fingers. You toe off your boots, leaving a faint trail of wet footprints across the floor.
You reach for a towel—and stop.
Because there, just by the door, is a folded dry sweatshirt.
Not yours.
A white hoodie.
His.
And next to it, a small, neatly sealed packet. Heat packs.
Your stomach twists.
Your hands tremble as you reach for your phone, wiping away the water still clinging to the screen.
📱 You: You’ve got to stop breaking into my apartment.
A pause.
Then—
📱 Xavier: I didn’t. But you always forget an umbrella when it rains.
You exhale sharply, pressing your tongue against the sting of broken skin inside your cheek.
📱 You: Right. You’re psychic now?
📱 Xavier: No. Just observant.
You hesitate, running your fingers over the fabric of the hoodie before pulling it over your head. It’s warm, slightly oversized, carrying the scent of him beneath the clean detergent—something golden, like sunlight caught in the fabric, soft and caramel-sweet at the edges, but beneath it, barely there, something sharper, something darker, like the last trace of dusk before night takes over. Unmistakably Xavier.
📱 You: You’re really committing to this whole passive-aggressive monitoring thing, huh?
📱 Xavier: Aggressive. There’s nothing passive about it.
The response is instant. Too quick. As if he’s been waiting.
Your chest tightens.
📱 You: And yet, for all your keen observation, you still don’t seem to notice when you do the exact same thing.
A longer pause this time.
📱 Xavier: Clarify.
You roll your eyes. Of course, he’s going to make you spell it out.
📱 You: No-Hunt Zone.
📱 Xavier: That’s different.
📱 You: Oh? Because it’s you?
📱 Xavier: Because it was necessary.
You let out a bitter breath, pressing the phone against your forehead for a moment, closing your eyes.
📱 You: Right. That word again.
📱 You: I suppose me being gone was necessary too, then?
📱 Xavier: That was a choice.
📱 You: So was yours.
Another long pause.
For a second, you think that’s the end of it. That he’s not going to reply.
Then—
📱 Xavier: You’re still wet. Change before you get sick.
A sharp inhale.
📱 You: That’s all you have to say?
📱 Xavier: For now.
You stare at the screen.
For now.
It isn’t an admission. It isn’t anything close to forgiveness. But it’s not a dismissal, either.
It’s an opening. A crack in the wall.
You exhale, curl deeper into the hoodie, and let your eyes slip shut.
For the first time in days, the silence doesn’t feel quite as heavy.
You don’t sleep.
You try. You close your eyes, shift positions, breathe slow and deep, count the seconds, then minutes, then hours. But your mind refuses to settle. The silence is unbearable, pressing into your skin, sinking into your bones.
By the time the sky begins to pale, the city just beginning to stir beyond your window, you give up.
The clock reads 6:04 AM when you lace up your running shoes.
The air is sharp, crisp with the last bite of night still lingering in the wind. The streets are nearly empty, save for the occasional early commuter, their footsteps swallowed by the sound of your own—steady, rhythmic, a heartbeat against the pavement.
You push yourself hard. Harder than you should.
It’s reckless, this need to move, to exhaust your body so completely that your mind has no room left to think.
Because when you think, you remember.
You remember the way Xavier looked at you that night. How his voice never wavered, how he turned away before you could say anything at all.
"Ask me again in six days."
You push faster.
Your breath burns in your throat. The ache in your legs spreads, deep and insistent, but you don’t stop. You can’t.
You run until the edges of your vision blur.
Until the exhaustion feels like something you can hold, something real, something that drowns out the ache in your chest.
Until the smell of coffee pulls you to a stop.
You’re standing in front of the café before you even realize it.
Your fingers curl against your palms, your breath still uneven. The air inside is warm, rich with the scent of espresso, cinnamon, something familiar.
Habit. Instinct. A mistake.
But still—you go inside. Still—you stand at the counter, order without thinking. Still—you reach for the cup, staring down at the neat label printed on the side.
Cappuccino. No sugar. Just how he likes it.
Your fingers tighten around the cup. You don’t hesitate. You walk straight back to his apartment, jaw clenched, pulse hammering in your ears.
And without a second thought—you leave the cup by his door.
You don’t knock. You don’t wait. You just leave.
Your hands still tremble when you reach your own door. You exhale, rubbing at your face, trying to push down the erratic rhythm of your pulse.
Then—you see it.
A second cup. Sitting neatly on your doorstep.
Your breath catches.
Fingers shake as you reach down, pressing against the warmth of the cup, the familiar weight of it. The label stares back at you, bold and unmistakable.
Latte. Just how you like it. From the same café.
The realization slams into you like a fist to the ribs. You were thinking of him. He was thinking of you.
At the same damn time.
Something twists, raw and sharp, in your chest. Then, as if he feels it—your phone buzzes.
📱 Xavier: Pushing yourself that hard after days of poor recovery is reckless.
Your fingers clench.
📱 Xavier: I suggest reading this.
A link. An article. Something about the dangers of sudden overexertion without proper conditioning.
A laugh bubbles up, breathless, bitter.
Of course. Of course he would turn this into a lecture.
📱 You: You’re unbelievable.
📱 Xavier: Clarify.
You wipe at your face, not even realizing your skin is damp, whether from sweat or something else.
📱 You: I’m not a civilian. I’m a Hunter. A trained fighter, just like you.
📱 You: I might not have your experience, but I’m not fragile. I don’t need a babysitter.
The response takes longer this time. A long, stretching pause.
Then—
📱 Xavier: Noted.
The words are too even. Too carefully chosen.
You see it immediately. He’s upset. But instead of fighting back, instead of defending himself, he just—withdraws.
It infuriates you.
📱 You: That’s it?
📱 Xavier: Would you prefer I argue?
Your teeth sink into your bottom lip, hard enough to sting.
📱 You: Maybe.
📱 Xavier: Why?
Because at least then it would feel like something. Because at least then he wouldn’t be slipping away from you, wouldn’t be treating you like you weren’t worth the effort.
You suck in a breath, trying to calm the wild, uneven rhythm of your heart. Then you do something stupid.
Something reckless. Something you’ll regret the second you hit send.
📱 You: Funny how you only care about my recklessness when it’s convenient for you.
Silence.
One second.
Two.
Then—
📱 Xavier: Understood.
Just that. No defense. No cold, razor-sharp argument. No more words at all.
You stare at the screen. Then you hurl the phone at the wall.
The crack is instant, the screen splintering on impact. It falls to the floor, dark, dead, useless.
Something burns behind your eyes, frustration, exhaustion, anger collapsing into something too heavy, too unbearable to name.
Your hands quiver. You press them to your face, breathe through the ache blooming in your chest.
Then—
You stand. You grab your coat. You don’t stop to think.
You need a new phone.
Because what if he messages you?
Because even now—after everything—you still want him to.
Silence should be a relief.
After four days of his constant, cold precision—the quiet should feel like a gift.
But it doesn’t.
It’s suffocating.
For the first time since he left you standing in that room, there’s nothing.
No message. No sarcastic remark. No quiet proof that, despite everything, he still gives a damn.
The absence cuts deeper than you expect.
You go to work anyway. Because you have to. Because stopping means thinking, and thinking means tearing yourself apart with what-ifs.
***
"Our agent successfully retrieved the Aethor Core." Captain Jenna’s voice carries through the room, steady, matter-of-fact.
A holographic map flickers to life above the conference table, casting shifting blue light against the faces of those seated around it.
Your mission. Your work. Your risk.
You keep your expression neutral, spine straight, hands folded in front of you.
"Undercover infiltration into the Vasquez Syndicate was a success."
Murmurs spread across the table. You don’t move. You feel him before you see him.
Xavier.
Seated across from you, back straight, jaw locked, completely, unnervingly still.
You make the mistake of looking up. And that’s when you see it.
Not his usual sharp, quiet calculation. Not cold detachment.
No.
This is something else. This is contained rage.
It sits just beneath the surface—controlled, measured, but undeniably lethal.
Your stomach twists.
The Vasquez Syndicate. A name that sends ripples of unease through even the most hardened Hunters.
And you had gone there alone.
Undercover.
Without telling him. Without telling anyone.
You lower your gaze back to the table. Captain Jenna continues.
"Their leader was eliminated. Aethor Core secured. Minimal collateral damage."
The words should be a victory. You should feel something. Instead, your phone vibrates against your leg.
Once.
Then again.
Then again.
A steady onslaught of incoming messages.
Your fingers tighten against your thigh. You don’t have to check. You already know.
📱 Xavier: You have a death wish, then?
📱 Xavier: That’s what this is?
📱 Xavier: Of course. That makes sense. Why else would you walk into Vasquez’s den ALONE?
📱 Xavier: Did you think you were being clever?
📱 Xavier: Or was it a game? A test to see how close you could get before you were skinned alive like his last five victims?
📱 Xavier: Tell me, did you at least get a look at the furniture?
📱 Xavier: I hear human leather is in this season.
The blood drains from your face. You type quickly.
📱 You: Xav, I—
More messages slam into your screen before you can hit send.
📱 Xavier: Or wait—
📱 Xavier: Was it worth it?
📱 Xavier: Was the thrill of playing martyr that exhilarating?
📱 Xavier: You must have loved the dramatics of it. Walking through their front door, knowing exactly what would happen if they figured you out. How noble. How self-sacrificing.
📱 Xavier: I’m sure they would’ve written songs about you.
📱 Xavier: Would you like me to start composing one now?
Your stomach twists into knots.
📱 You: Xavier, stop.
📱 Xavier: Why? Does it make you uncomfortable?
📱 Xavier: Wouldn’t want that. Not after you’ve made me spend the last six days believing you were DEAD.
The breath catches in your throat.
📱 You: I wasn’t—
📱 Xavier: No? You weren’t?
📱 Xavier: Oh, forgive me. I must have been mistaken. You must have sent me a message before walking into the hands of a man who decapitates people for sport.
📱 Xavier: Oh, wait. You didn’t.
📱 Xavier: Because you didn’t tell anyone.
📱 Xavier: Because you thought you could handle it.
📱 Xavier: Because you think you’re invincible.
📱 Xavier: Because you learned absolutely nothing.
📱 Xavier: Because you’re a fucking idiot.
Your chest tightens, fingers shaking as you try to respond.
📱 You: I retrieved the Core, didn’t I?
The moment you send it, you regret it. The reply is instant.
📱 Xavier: Ah.
📱 Xavier: So that’s how little your life is worth?
📱 Xavier: A glorified rock?
📱 Xavier: Good to know.
You glance up, breath unsteady, and realize your mistake.
Because Xavier is looking at you. And his expression is unreadable.
No sarcasm now. No amusement. Just something flat and cold, buried beneath something much darker.
Your fingers tighten around the edge of the table.
You stand.
Move toward him, as if closing the space between you will break whatever this is, will fix whatever new fracture you’ve carved into the already fragile thing between you.
But the moment you take a step closer—he moves. A single flick of his fingers. A gesture.
Dismissal.
Like you are nothing. Like you aren’t even worth the fight.
And in his eyes—that unreadable fire.
You open your mouth. Try to speak. He beats you to it.
"You think I’m mad?" His voice is low, quiet, lethal. "You think this is anger?"
A slow, sharp inhale. Then—he stands. Looks at you like you’re a stranger.
"If you ever do something that fucking stupid again—"
A pause. A razor-thin breath.
"Don’t come back."
Silence.
It lands like a blow. It shatters something you don’t even have a name for.
And then—he walks away.
And for the first time, you wonder if six days was a mercy.
Because now—
You’re not sure this will ever end.
The knock against his door is sharp, deliberate.
No answer.
Your fingers tighten, knuckles aching as you knock again, harder this time.
Still nothing.
The realization sinks in slow, cold. You know where he is.
No-Hunt Zone.
Of course. Of course.
The hypocrisy of it claws at your ribs, burns hot behind your eyes.
He spent days throwing your choices back in your face, dismantling them with surgical precision, making sure you felt every ounce of his anger. And yet—he’s doing the exact same thing.
Alone. Again.
Without backup. Without you.
The fury in your chest solidifies into something unshakable.
You don’t think. You move.
You tear off your civilian clothes, slip into the gear that feels like a second skin, strapping on your weapons with methodical ease. Your mind is calm. Your body is not.
This isn’t just anger.
This is something raw, something bitter, something that coils too tight in your chest.
Because what if this is the time he doesn’t make it back?
What if he never even planned to?
***
You move fast, weaving through the crumbling skeletons of abandoned buildings, the faint blue pulse of your Hunter’s bracelet flickering at your wrist.
The fluctuations come sharp and erratic.
A Wanderer is near.
And so is Xavier.
The realization barely has time to settle before a hand clamps over your mouth, an arm hooking around your waist, dragging you back into the shadows of a half-collapsed structure.
You react instantly, twisting in his grip, but his hold is unbreakable. His breath is warm against your ear. Too steady. Too controlled.
"Tell me—" His voice is low, measured, lethal in its restraint. "Are you trying to get yourself killed?"
You rip his hand away, shove him back, your pulse hammering against your ribs.
"Shouldn’t I be asking you the same damn thing?"
His expression flickers—something sharp, something dangerously close to breaking—before it smooths out again.
"You shouldn’t be here."
You let out a hollow laugh, shaking your head. "And you should?"
His fingers twitch at his sides, but he doesn’t argue.
The air crackles.
A pulse of energy shudders through the ruined cityscape, sending vibrations through your bracelet.
You both freeze.
The Wanderer is close. Too close.
And you were too distracted to notice.
A deafening shriek splits the air.
You barely have time to react before something massive crashes into view, sending debris flying, the force of it shaking the ground beneath you.
It’s huge.
Bigger than any you’ve ever seen. Darker. Hungrier.
And something is wrong.
Your Evol pulses—but weakly, like something is suppressing it.
You glance at Xavier, see the same realization in his eyes.
The Wanderer lunges.
You move at the same time.
Dodge. Shoot. Pivot. Strike.
Your movements are precise. Automatic. Perfectly in sync.
But something is missing.
Resonance.
You grit your teeth, adjusting your aim, but the energy won’t connect.
Because you’re too angry. Too furious with him to let yourself fall into sync.
And so is he.
Your focus wavers—just for a second, just long enough to throw your balance.
You stumble.
A mistake. A fraction of hesitation.
The Wanderer seizes it.
It moves faster than you expect, faster than anything that massive should be able to.
A pulse of energy collides against your chest, sending you sprawling.
A second strike is coming—you see it, but you’re too slow, your body still recovering from the impact—
And then Xavier is there. Between you and death.
His sword clashes against the incoming blow, deflecting it just enough to send the Wanderer skidding back.
His breathing is uneven. Not from exertion, but from something else.
Something like rage.
"Are you hurt?" His voice is taut, dangerous.
You shake your head, pushing yourself back up.
"I’m fine."
He doesn’t move. Doesn’t look away from you. Like he doesn’t quite believe you. Like he’s assessing whether he just almost lost you.
You don’t have time for this.
"You really think you would’ve made it out of this alive?" You fire, voice shaking with frustration. "Look at it. Look at the size of that thing. And you came here alone."
Xavier exhales slowly through his nose. Controlled. Restrained.
"You came after me," he says, voice like a blade, slicing through the tension.
You shake your head, jaw tight.
"Of course I did. That’s what you do when you—"
The words catch.
His eyes are on you. Steady. Unwavering.
The air between you is thick, charged, buzzing with everything unspoken, everything you haven’t let yourself say.
Your fingers tremble around the grip of your gun.
"I—"
The Wanderer screeches.
The ground shudders.
You don’t think. You react.
Your hand snaps forward, closing over Xavier’s.
The second you touch him—
Resonance explodes.
A flash of light. A rush of energy so intense it steals the breath from your lungs.
The Wanderer staggers. Its movements falter.
You see the opening. So does he.
Two strikes. One shot. One kill.
The Wanderer dissolves. The air stills. The only thing left is a single Protocore, pulsing softly in the dust.
You’re both breathing hard, hands still locked together, neither of you moving.
And then—
His fingers tighten.
The world tilts, just slightly.
Xavier doesn’t look at the Protocore. He looks at you.
And when he steps forward, you step back, heat creeping up your neck.
But he doesn’t let you run. He cups your face, tilting it up until you have no choice but to meet his gaze.
"Say it."
Your pulse pounds.
"Xav—"
"Say it." His voice is low, demanding.
You swallow hard. You already said it once.
But now—he’s listening.
Now, there’s nothing between you but everything you’ve been holding back.
Your throat tightens. And then—you break.
"I love you," you whisper.
His breath stutters, caught between control and something raw. His hands slide lower, fingers gripping your waist, pulling you in.
And then—he’s kissing you.
Hard. Desperate. Unforgiving.
Your weapons hit the ground. His sword, your guns—forgotten.
The only thing left is this. The only thing left is him.
His breath is ragged against your lips, his hands urgent, searching.
"What good are my eyes if they can't see you?" he murmurs against your mouth.
"What use are my hands if they can't touch you?"
"Why do I need lips if not to kiss you?"
His forehead presses against yours. His voice is steady. Unshaking.
"And if you don’t let me love you the way I do—what’s the point of living at all?"
You exhale, shuddering. A quiet, breathless sound escapes you—half a sob, half a laugh, because of course he would say something like this, because of course it would be him. Your hands tighten against his shirt, gripping hard enough to ground yourself, to keep yourself from falling apart.
And finally—you let yourself hold him back.
***
The world is quiet.
Not the heavy, suffocating kind of silence that has weighed on you for days, but something else. Something warm.
Your body feels boneless, satiated, exhausted in the best possible way. The bruises on your skin tell a story—some earned in battle, others left by a different kind of war, one fought in the dark, in whispers, in hands that refused to let go.
And then—you feel it. Eyes on you.
You blink against the soft golden light spilling through the curtains, twisting slightly to find him.
Xavier is propped up on his elbow beside you, one arm tucked beneath his head. His gaze is unreadable, too intense in the quiet morning light.
But he isn’t watching you. Not exactly.
His fingers trail absently over your skin, following the paths where the sunlight dances along your shoulder, your collarbone, the curve of your wrist. Mapping you.
The way his fingers move—it’s almost reverent. Like he’s committing this moment to memory, like he’s terrified it might slip through his grasp if he blinks.
You reach for his hand. But he beats you to it.
His fingers curl around yours, guiding your hand to his lips, pressing the softest, most devastatingly tender kiss to your fingertips.
It nearly steals the breath from your lungs.
You swallow hard, your voice coming out quieter than intended.
"Xav…"
His grip tightens, just slightly.
"When we met," he murmurs, voice low, steady, unshaking, "you promised me something."
Your brow furrows. You don’t move.
"You said I would be your partner," he continues, thumb brushing absently over your knuckles. "In everything. In battle. In your reckless plans. In life."
His eyes lift to yours, and the weight of his words settles deep into your chest.
You can’t look away. Not now. Not from this.
Your throat tightens. "Xavier—"
"Don’t apologize," he says smoothly, shaking his head before you can even start.
But you need to. Because you hurt him. Because you left.
Because even though you both made mistakes, you forced his hand.
He sees it in your eyes before you can say anything, and his fingers tighten just slightly around yours.
"This isn’t about apologies," he murmurs.
His other hand comes up, brushing along the curve of your cheek, pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
"This is about what happens next."
You blink.
"I won’t force you to promise me anything," he continues, watching your reaction closely. "Not unless you mean it."
The warmth of his touch lingers against your skin, steady, grounding, heartbreakingly gentle.
"But I need you to understand something."
You hold your breath.
"I won’t make you worry again." His voice is softer now, more certain. More dangerous in its quiet conviction. "I won’t make you question whether I’ll come back. Because now I know how it feels."
Your eyes sting.
"Does that mean…" You hesitate, voice barely above a whisper. "No more No-Hunt Zone?"
The corner of his mouth twitches.
"Not exactly."
You open your mouth to argue, but he stops you with a single look. Before you can push him away, before you can get worked up, he leans in—pressing his forehead to yours.
His breath is warm against your lips.
"If I go," he murmurs, slow, careful, a promise wrapped in steel, "I take my partner with me."
Your chest tightens.
He’s serious.
This is his way of saying it.
His way of meeting you halfway.
His way of telling you that he’s not going anywhere without you.
You exhale slowly, pressing your forehead harder against his, letting the moment settle between you.
"...Okay."
The word is soft. Tentative.
But you mean it.
His fingers thread through yours, squeezing gently. The smallest, barest hint of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
"Good."
He kisses you once, slow and deep, searing the moment into your skin.
And for the first time in six days—you let yourself believe it.
9:57 AM - Xavier woke up in a cold sweat. He had a dream about Lumiere
☆ Xavier, who is always thinking about you.
Xavier had always carried a quiet thoughtfulness about him, an attentive care that made you feel seen. He loved spending time with you, observing the little things that made you, you. That’s why it didn’t surprise you—though it still made your heart flutter—when he learned your favorite song on guitar. Not only to play it, but to sing it for you.
One day, while the two of you were messing around with the guitar, he positioned himself behind you, his presence close and comforting. The guitar rested in your lap as you strummed the strings, your movements tentative but growing more confident under his guidance.
“All you have to do is follow this count: one... two... three... four,” he explained softly, his voice low and steady. His hand, sure and practiced, expertly switched between the chords, his fingers brushing the frets with ease.
“Yes, just like that,” he said, a smile in his voice, as you repeated the motion. His hands briefly covered yours to adjust your positioning, and your fingers began to catch the pattern.
The first few notes were halting, but as you found the rhythm, a familiar melody began to emerge. Your breath caught when you realized what it was. Your song. A grin spread across your face as the chorus approached.
Then, just as the moment swelled, Xavier leaned in, his breath warm against your ear. His voice was soft but playful as he sang the words:
“You can act all shy, but you know that I want you.”
His whispered lyric sent a shiver down your spine. You paused, the guitar momentarily forgotten as you turned to look at him, caught between laughter and bashful disbelief. Xavier only smiled, his eyes crinkling with amusement, as though he’d been waiting for that exact reaction.
Anatomy Study 📝
are you hearing things? certainly, an intruder didn’t break into your house just to clean up the mess you’d left behind this morning and cook your favorite dish, did they? no…unless this intruder was really, really nice and somehow knew you inside out.
but then it hits you.
caleb.
that's the only thought in your head as you rush over to the kitchen, stopping in the middle as you see your husband in a fucking apron, cutting up vegetables on the kitchen counter.
he looks up as soon as he hears your footsteps stop, a big, satisfied smirk on his face. yet despite the smugness, his expression is tender, displaying a love that makes your chest tighten with familiarity. before either of you can say a word, you rush over to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and immediately melt into his touch.
he's warm, and most of all, real. in your arms. no words are said—they're not even needed as he returns your embrace, nuzzling his face into your hair and pressing you to him like a long-lost piece of himself finally returned. you sink into the quiet gravity of his hold, the space between you dissolving as you breathe in each other's presence. time feels like it's folding in on itself—only the steady rise and fall of his breath tethering you to the moment, to him, to home.
you decide to break the silence, your hands gripping tighter on his clothes, voice muffled by your face in the crook of his neck. "caleb. you’re early. you’re- you're here." the words are slightly cracked, tinted with a quiet desperation and disbelief that has your heart pounding in your chest, still processing what was happening.
caleb only holds you closer, his voice thick with similar emotions. "'course i am, honey. wouldn't trade this for the world." he presses a soft kiss to your head, his hands gently running down your sides and stopping at your waist. he pulls away to look you in the eyes, his gaze filled with something so soft you could almost feel it in your hands. "the expedition ended early. i got home as soon as i could to surprise you."
your eyes drift up and down his face, his neck, any piece of him available to you—you drink it in, relishing in the man before you like a traveler would an oasis in the desert. you swallow, throat thick with longing as you struggle to say another full sentence.
but it doesn't matter, not when he knows exactly what you want to say. your emotions are written on your face, woven into every action, and even without words, caleb can feel it in the space between you, his heart long since in tune with yours.
taking a deep breath, you manage to speak, sniffling. "i was- i was counting down the days. i thought you wouldn't be home for at least a few more weeks-"
caleb only grins softly, tenderly slipping his hand beneath your shirt to feel your skin on his. "you know me, honey. i can't just stay away from you." he punctuates his words with a soft caress up your back, tracing your spine and sending a shiver through your body. it grounds you, his actions and affections so familiar and yet so unreal in the moment.
a small laugh manages to bubble from your lips, relieved and stupefied. you pull him in again, feeling his heartbeat against yours. he's here. all of him.
and suddenly, the exhaustion of the past few weeks, the impatience, the longing, the loneliness—it all fades away, and you're left with something that is so unmistakably home, because you're in his arms.
he lets out a relieved sigh of his own, chuckling slightly and shifting his body to better accommodate yours. in doing so, you're pulled away from him just slightly, the glint of something floating in the air catching your eye. your brows furrow together as the object catches your interest, peeking out at it from above caleb's arms.
a knife.
a floating knife.
you blink. your mind is still catching up with everything, but the sight of a knife hovering a few steps away from you—completely still, suspended in midair—pulls you out of your processing period. your brows furrow even further, your head stiffly moving to look up at your husband.
"caleb...?" as of that moment, his tender gaze had turned into a suppressed grin, his eyes twinkling with that mischievous glint you knew so well. his hands squeeze your sides, voice teasing and lilted. "'sup, honeybunch? still need proof it's really me?"
your eyes flick between the knife and him, your voice slow and hesitant. "caleb, why is there a knife next to us right now?"
he laughs, and it's a warm sound that dissipates any tension in your body, a small smile pulling up at your lips despite the confusion. he leans in with a smirk, shrugging and ruffling your hair as if it’s the most casual thing in the world. "i don't know baby, you were pretty eager to get me in your arms. didn't stop to think twice that i was cutting up some veggies."
your face flushes as you process that he had only used his evol to move the knife he was holding away from the both of you. "...oh," is all you manage to squeak out as he laughs again, gently tugging on your hair to tilt your head upwards and to land a kiss on your forehead.
caleb smirks, his own gaze flickering between the knife and you, "someone had to make sure you didn’t end up with a gash on your hand while trying to tackle me."
you shake your head, still smiling and now slightly flushed due to his actions. "sorry, it was all just..." he cuts you off with a finger to your lips, grinning at the cute sight of your face. "there's no need for an apology, honey. i'm just doing my job as your husband."
he steps forward, the knife gently floating back down onto the counter with a soft clink as he places his hand beneath your chin. "our kitchen is quite the dangerous place, you know."
the playful edge in his voice and the cheeky grin on his face make you laugh, a soft, breathless sound that feels lighter than it has in weeks. you shake your head, amusement dancing in your eyes as you finally take in your surroundings—the seasoned chicken resting in the bowl, the steam curling from the bubbling pot of your favorite broth on the stove, and most of all, the warm, inviting scent of home.
it isn't just the food or the careful way he’s prepared everything for you. it’s him, standing there, grounding you in a moment that feels almost too good to be real. the weight of missing him lingers faintly in your chest, but it’s lightened by the fact that, for the first time in weeks, he’s here.
caleb's eyes wash over you with amusement, his head tilting as his thumb caresses your cheek before gently pressing into your skin, affectionately squeezing your face. "you okay there, pips? looks like you're about to start crying over dinner."
his teasing lingers for only a second before something shifts. his touch, once playful, turns softer—more deliberate. his hands come up to cradle your face fully, his warmth seeping into your skin. it's only then that you realize why his expression has changed.
you were crying.
warm, salty tears are trickling down your face as you try to deny your current state, your lips trembling as you let out a shaky laugh. "ah, i’m-," you start off, but the crack in your voice betrays you. you sniffle, swiping at your face, affection and frustration mixing in your expression. "it’s not-”
but caleb just smiles, thumbs brushing away the tears before they can fall any further. "i know," he murmurs, voice as warm as his touch. "i know, baby."
caleb doesn’t say anything else—he doesn’t need to. instead, he pulls you in, pressing his lips gently to your forehead, letting them linger there for a few precious moments. his touch is grounding, and for the first time in what feels like forever, you let yourself lean into it completely.
his fingers stroke along your back in soothing circles, a silent reassurance that he’s real, that he’s with you. and you believe it. because how could you not, when his presence feels like the most tangible thing in the world?
after a few quiet breaths, he pulls away just enough to meet your gaze again, studying your face with something soft and knowing. “feeling a little better?”
you sniffle, nodding as you wipe at your eyes again. “yeah. just… didn’t expect this.”
he grins, his thumb grazing over your cheekbone one last time before he finally steps back, hands slipping down to rest at your waist. “well, i was hoping for a ‘wow, my incredibly handsome husband is the best for surprising me like this!’ but i guess tears of joy work too.”
you roll your eyes, though there’s no real annoyance behind it. “if you wanted me to swoon, you should’ve walked in with flowers, colonel.”
caleb lets out a dramatic sigh, shaking his head. “damn, should’ve known i was dealing with high standards.”
“very high,” you confirm, the ghost of a smile tugging at your lips.
he huffs out a laugh before squeezing your waist one last time and turning back to the counter. “cmon, pips. go set the table before you start crying again.”
you mumble sarcastically but oblige, pulling out the plates and utensils while he goes back to cooking. the kitchen is quiet save for the soft sounds of bubbling broth and the rhythmic chop of his knife against the cutting board.
it’s a comfortable kind of quiet—the kind that settles lovingly in your ribs, wrapping around your heart like the warmest embrace.
and when you finally sit down for dinner, across from the man who makes your world feel so much brighter just by being in it, you realize that no matter how long he’s gone, no matter how much you miss him, this moment will always come back to you.
because caleb always comes back to you.
Cute aggression amplified
✌️🙂✌️
Its illegal to be this cute 💘
My first fic in years. If there is any error, let me know.
Prompt: You had begged Xavier to roleplay as Lumiere. He refused multiple times until he finally gave in.
...
"Is this the meeting you had been expecting?" One of his hands on your throat while the other rested on your hip. You were trembling at his contact. You had been waiting for this moment and all your mind could think about was your husband's touch.
"Lu-lumiere!"
He even kept the mask on, you could not see him but you could feel how possessive he was getting by the second and how he was starting to enjoy it as well. Lumiere leaned forward, his lips brushing your ear, beating it.
"Is this what you like?" His grip getting stronger "You like being touched by another man, whore?"
The word sank in, it was the first time he called you that. You knew what you were asking for when you begged for him to act as Lumiere but that word, whore, strung a nerve.
"MC?" Xavier's touch lighten up as he felt you tensing up.
"I am not a whore..." A tear, then another and another. Your cheeks were now a river, tears falling into the mattress "I am not a whore" you bit your lip.
He pulled off from you, tossed that damned mask and spin you around. Maybe he had gotten a little carried away when he had hear you calling him Lumiere.
"No!" His arms wrapping around you as a cocoon "You are no whore. I am sorry..."
"You called me a whore" you were not looking at him, eyes full of tears and shame. Did he really thought that you were a whore or was something on the spur of the moment? In any case, you did not like it. "Do you think I am a whore?"
"No" he took one of your hands and kissed it, seeing that you did not pull away, he fell back on the bed "I would never think that about you" his hands traveled around your body giving you comforting squeezes "You are the most precious star in all the universe... I got jealous when I heard you call me Lumiere"
"But you are Lumiere!" You hit his chest "You shouldn't be jealous of your own self!"
Xavier sighed. How he could explain his jealousy, his love for you? He had lived for centuries, gave up his tittle for you, had see you fall in love with other man in the past, the thought of you want him to pretend to be someone else, even for one night, made his chest burst with jealousy.
He looked at you, the marks he had left in your love making, the way your skin glittered by the sweat due to all the work he had made you do, his gaze rested in yours. Your eyes shimmered with sadness, a sadness he had also put in there.
"I am Lumiere" he brushed your hair out of your face "But I don't want to be Lumiere with you. I want to be Xavier, I want for you to look at me and say my name"
Your hands reached for his, taking them to your chest. Your beating hard under his palm was a confession of your love for him.
"Xavier, I only love you" your eyes burning into his "I asked you to be Lumiere because you are Lumiere. I don't want any other man in my heart that it's not you"
Xavier's heart beat faster as the words left your lips. He should have know better, he should have already know that you were his, the wedding band on your finger should have been proof enough.
"I am sorry that I called you a whore" his hand moved to your face, brushing away the rest of the tears "How I can made it to you?" His hands rested in your hips, unsure if you would like to continue with your nightly activities.
Your lips met his cheek "I want for my husband cuddle with me until I forget Lumiere's offence... Also, get ride of the suit"
Xavier smiled, his lips looking for yours. Xavier spent of the night showing you with love until the sun came up. Lumiere's custom already forgotten in the floor.
PLEASE PART 2 ON THE SELF DOUBT ANGEST PUHHHLEEEEEEASE
Pt.1
PAIRING: Love and Deepspace men x reader (reader is implied to be the MC in Caleb's part)
SYNOPSIS: Part 2 of "Self-doubt" - comfort!!
A/N: Finally, it's here. Hope you enjoy!
Finally deciding to go home and drown your sorrows in sleep, you stood, your limbs heavy, your breath unsteady. But before you could take a step, the sound of approaching footsteps stopped you in your tracks.
Soft at first, deliberate, hesitant—yet steady. Familiar.
You didn't have to look up to know who it was.
A quiet sigh left your lips. "Xavier."
He didn’t speak right away, but you could feel him watching you. There was no judgment in his gaze, no demand for explanation. Just patience. A patience that made something fragile inside you crack even more.
Wordlessly, he sat beside you, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, even in the biting chill of the night. Neither of you spoke, and for once, the silence wasn't unbearable. It was different. Softer.
"You scared me," he finally admitted, his voice quieter than usual, as if he was afraid that speaking too loud would shatter whatever fragile state you were in.
You swallowed, your fingers curling into the fabric of your sleeves. "I’m fine."
Xavier hummed, unconvinced. "You’re not. But I’m not here to force you to talk. I just... didn’t want you to be alone."
Something thick lodged itself in your throat at his words. The lump of emotions you'd tried so hard to suppress threatened to spill over.
"Why?" Your voice was barely above a whisper, so raw it almost hurt to speak. "Why do you always—"
"Care?" he finished for you, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips, though his eyes remained serious. "Because you matter to me. You always have. And I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but I know one thing for certain—you are not some afterthought. You are not unworthy. You are not less."
Your breath hitched, eyes burning. "You don’t understand."
Xavier exhaled, running a hand through his hair, frustrated but not with you—with whatever had made you feel like this. "Then make me understand. If you don’t want to talk, I’ll sit here with you until you do. If you want to pretend everything is fine, I’ll let you. But I’m not leaving."
You turned to him then, really looked at him. At the certainty in his expression, the unwavering belief in his eyes. It was so infuriatingly Xavier—so effortlessly kind, so utterly steadfast—that it made your heart ache in ways you couldn’t put into words.
You opened your mouth, but no excuses came. No lies. No ways to push him away.
Instead, your voice cracked, and before you could stop yourself, you whispered, "I don’t know how to stop feeling like this."
Xavier didn’t hesitate. He reached out, hesitantly at first, as if giving you the choice to pull away. But you didn’t. You let him take your hand, let his warmth seep into your cold fingers, grounding you.
"You don’t have to do it alone," he murmured. "I don’t care how long it takes. Just… don’t shut me out."
The dam inside you broke.
A choked sob tore through you, your body shaking under the weight of everything you had been holding in for far too long. And Xavier—he didn’t flinch, didn’t let go. He simply pulled you close, wrapping you in the kind of embrace that felt less like comfort and more like something solid. Something safe.
You clung to him, and for the first time in what felt like forever, you allowed yourself to believe that maybe—just maybe—you weren’t as alone as you thought.
And maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to be.
His fingers traced slow, soothing circles against your back, his breath warm against your temple. "I don't want you to disappear into the dark. If you let me, I'll stay."
The words, so simple yet so profound, settled into your chest like an ember, slow-burning and tender. You lifted your head, meeting his gaze, and in the hush of the night, something unspoken passed between you—something delicate, something inevitable.
Xavier’s thumb brushed the damp trail of a tear from your cheek, his touch unbearably gentle. "I see you," he murmured, and before you could think, before you could hesitate, he was leaning in.
It was soft, barely there—a whisper of a kiss against your forehead, a silent promise. Not rushed, not demanding, just steady. Just real.
And for the first time, you let yourself believe it.
The city had always been too loud, yet tonight, it felt impossibly quiet. The kind of quiet that pressed against your ribs, heavy and suffocating, filling the spaces between heartbeats with something unnamed and unrelenting. The café door had long since closed behind you, but the ghost of Zayne’s presence still lingered, his voice a phantom echo in your mind.
You walked without direction, only moving because stillness felt too much like surrender. The night air was crisp, laced with the scent of rain that hadn’t yet fallen, and you breathed it in as if it could cleanse the weight of everything left unsaid. But it didn’t. Of course it didn’t.
Your phone remained in your grasp, screen dark, thumb hovering over his name in your messages. A message unsent. A confession you didn’t dare put into words. You had told yourself you would let this go, let him go—but wasn’t that the cruelest kind of lie?
You stopped beneath the glow of a streetlamp, light spilling over you in fragile, golden threads. Your breath wavered, hands tightening around the fabric of your sleeves. And then, against every instinct screaming at you to forget, to move on—you typed.
“I’m sorry.”
It was inadequate. A pitiful offering for the storm that had brewed between you. But before you could backspace, before you could rethink, you pressed send.
The reply came faster than expected.
“I’m still here.”
Three words. Simple. Unwavering. And yet, they shattered something deep inside you.
You closed your eyes, letting the night swallow you whole. You should have walked away. You should have ignored him the way you had trained yourself to. But Zayne had never been someone you could ignore. And perhaps, just this once, you didn’t want to.
With unsteady fingers, you called him.
The line rang once.
Twice.
A third time.
And then—
“Come back inside.”
His voice was quiet, intimate in a way that sent a tremor through your chest. He wasn’t asking. He wasn’t demanding. Just offering. Leaving the choice in your hands, as he always did.
Your throat tightened. Your heart ached.
For a long moment, you said nothing. You listened to the silence stretching between you, to the quiet promise hidden in his words. And then, with a breath that felt too much like surrender, you turned on your heel, retracing your steps back to the light.
When you stepped back inside, the café was quieter than before. The world outside had not changed, and yet, everything within you had shifted. Zayne was still there, waiting, his gaze unreadable but warm. A cup of something hot sat across from his own, waiting for you, as if he had always known you would return.
You sat without a word, hands wrapping around the warmth of the cup. For a moment, there was only the quiet hum of the café, the soft clink of porcelain, the steady presence of him beside you. And then—
“I never wanted to be someone unreachable,” he murmured, his fingers resting just inches from yours on the table. “Not to you.”
Your breath hitched, something fragile pressing against your ribs. “Zayne—”
“I see you,” he said, voice as steady as the earth beneath you. “Not as an afterthought. Not as someone passing through my life.” His gaze flickered to yours, sharp and unwavering. “But as someone I want in it.”
Something deep inside you cracked wide open.
A shuddering exhale left your lips, and before you could stop yourself, your fingers brushed over his—hesitant, uncertain. But when he turned his palm upward, intertwining his fingers with yours, it was effortless. As if he had been waiting for this moment, just as much as you had.
For the first time in what felt like forever, the weight in your chest eased. The walls you had built so carefully, so stubbornly, faltered in the warmth of his touch.
And for once, you let them fall.
The world felt quieter without him in it.
You told yourself it was for the best, that you had made the right decision. And yet, as the days bled into nights, as the hours passed in dull monotony, you found yourself reaching—again and again—for something that was no longer there.
For him.
For the sound of his laughter, for the weight of his presence filling the spaces you hadn’t realized were empty. For the warmth he carried so effortlessly, the kind of warmth that lingered long after he was gone.
But you had done this to yourself.
And now, you had to live with it.
Or at least, you thought you did—until the knocking started.
Soft at first. A hesitant tap against the door, as though testing if you were even home. And then, more insistent. Steady. Patient. Unyielding.
You ignored it, at first. Pressed your hands against your ears and willed it to stop, to go away. But the universe was never that kind.
“Cutie.”
Your breath caught.
Muffled through the door, but unmistakable. His voice—soft, coaxing, laced with something raw beneath the teasing lilt. A plea hidden in a single word.
You curled deeper into yourself, fingers tightening around the blanket you had wrapped around your frame. If you stayed silent, he’d leave. If you waited long enough, he’d realize you weren’t worth it. That you were doing him a favor.
But he didn’t leave.
He sighed, the sound heavy, filled with something you couldn’t quite name. And then—
“I’m not mad at you.”
The words struck harder than you expected. You squeezed your eyes shut, hating the way your heart clenched, the way your resolve wavered like sand beneath the tide.
“I just...” A pause. A shift, as though he had leaned against the door. “I don’t understand.”
You swallowed. You didn’t want him to understand. Didn’t want him to see the ugly, selfish parts of you, the ones that whispered that maybe—just maybe—you wanted him to fight for you. That you wanted to be more than just another passing moment in his life.
“I thought you knew by now.” His voice was quieter, words woven with something impossibly tender. “You don’t have to keep up with me, cutie. You were never supposed to.”
Your throat tightened.
“I just wanted you there.”
Your fingers twitched. Trembled. Your resolve, already fraying at the edges, threatened to unravel completely.
“I don’t care if you don’t want to see me right now,” he continued, and there was something steady in his voice now. Certain. “But don’t think for a second that I don’t see you.”
A shaky breath. Yours, not his. He was always so sure. So steady. A lighthouse in a storm you hadn’t even realized you were lost in.
The silence stretched between you, thick with everything left unsaid. And then, softer—
“I miss you.”
Your hands clenched into the fabric of your sleeves.
A choice.
A breath.
A surrender.
With trembling fingers, you unlocked the door.
The moment it cracked open, he was there.
Rafayel—bigger than life, impossibly beautiful in the dim light of the hallway. But his eyes, sharp as they were, softened the moment they met yours. He looked at you as if you were something precious. Something worth waiting for.
Something he would wait for, as long as it took.
You exhaled, the weight in your chest easing just slightly. And for the first time in days, you let yourself be selfish.
You stepped forward, barely a breath between you, and before you could think better of it, his arms were around you.
The embrace was immediate, crushing in its intensity. His hands found the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair as he held you tight, as if to assure himself you were real, here, not slipping through his fingers like a dream about to fade.
“Don’t do that again,” he murmured into your hair, voice uneven, raw in a way you had never heard before. “Don’t shut me out.”
Your fingers curled into the fabric of his jacket, knuckles white, grounding yourself in the warmth of him.
“Okay,” you whispered, breath hitching when he pulled back just enough to look at you. His hands cradled your face, touch achingly gentle, reverent, as if memorizing the details of you in case you disappeared again.
He searched your face, gaze flickering between your eyes, your lips, before he exhaled sharply, like he had just made a decision. And then—
Soft. Slow.
His lips brushed against yours, a question, a promise, a silent plea. You melted into him, sighing against his mouth, letting yourself be held, letting yourself be wanted.
When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, breath mingling with yours in the quiet of the night.
“Come inside,” you murmured, voice barely above a whisper.
He smiled, something warm, something yours, and just like that—the world wasn’t so quiet anymore.
The hours slipped by in hazy disarray, the wine glass now empty, the room a blur of half-formed thoughts and aching silence. You could feel the chill of the night seeping deeper into your bones, but it wasn’t the cold air that made you shiver. It was the weight of your own thoughts—the gnawing self-doubt, the quiet loneliness that seemed to stretch out forever, wrapping itself around you like an unwanted lover.
You told yourself to be strong. You told yourself to forget. To move on.
But it was impossible to ignore the echo of his name in your mind, the memory of his touch, the way his eyes had looked at you—so soft, so gentle, like you were something more than just a fleeting shadow in his world. You had convinced yourself that it didn’t matter, that you didn’t matter to him. But now, in the silence of your empty apartment, that lie was unraveling at the edges.
You were not enough for him, and yet you had never wanted anything more.
The sound of your phone vibrating again cut through the haze, and for a moment, you simply stared at the screen. The name flashed once more.
Sylus.
The familiar pang of longing twisted in your chest, a sharp, bitter ache. You didn’t want to open it. Didn’t want to be reminded of everything you couldn’t have. You had closed that door, hadn’t you?
But the phone buzzed again. And then again.
Without thinking, your thumb slid across the screen, the message lighting up the dim room.
"I’m outside."
Your heart stuttered in your chest.
You blinked, the words swimming before your eyes. Your pulse quickened. He was here. And for a moment, you almost convinced yourself to ignore him, to let him be just another chapter you could close. But that wasn’t you, was it? You were never one to run from what you felt, no matter how terrifying it seemed.
The sound of his footsteps echoed against the hallway, distant but unmistakable. The way his boots hit the ground with that gentle weight, as though each step was taken with purpose. You felt the air shift as he drew closer, your skin prickling with the intensity of his presence.
The door knocked softly, almost too softly, as though he was waiting for you to make the first move. And for the first time in what felt like forever, you hesitated.
“Please,” his voice reached you, quieter now, as if spoken through the layers of pain you had wrapped yourself in. “Let me in.”
Your breath caught, and without thinking, you turned the knob.
The door swung open, and there he was.
Sylus.
The light from the hallway cast him in a soft glow, outlining his silhouette in such stark contrast to the darkness behind you. His eyes—those eyes, the ones that could see straight through every defense you put up—were soft. Warm, even. There was an urgency to his gaze, but also a tenderness, as if he was afraid to touch you too suddenly, afraid to break the fragile moment that existed between you.
“I couldn’t leave,” he murmured, and his voice cracked just the slightest bit as he spoke, his own emotions laid bare.
Your heart ached at the sight of him, standing there, vulnerable in a way you hadn’t seen before. The man who had once seemed so untouchable, so unreachable, now seemed almost fragile in his need for you.
“You don’t have to do this,” you whispered, voice shaking.
But he stepped forward anyway, and in that moment, everything shifted. His hands were warm when they cupped your face, his thumb brushing away the traces of tears you hadn’t even realized you were still holding back.
“I do,” he said, his voice low and firm, yet undeniably soft. “I do, because I’ve never needed anyone the way I need you.”
And with those words, your world fell away.
Without another word, he pulled you into him, his embrace fierce yet gentle, as though he was afraid you would slip away if he didn’t hold on tight enough. His scent enveloped you, familiar and grounding, and for the first time in days, you allowed yourself to sink into it. You let yourself surrender to the warmth of his arms, the only place that felt like home anymore.
“I was so afraid,” you whispered, your voice muffled against his chest. “So afraid of being nothing to you.”
His fingers threaded through your hair, and he pressed his lips against the top of your head, the softest kiss, a promise more than a gesture.
“You were never nothing to me,” he whispered. “You were never a fleeting thing. I just... I didn’t know how to show you, not when I was so terrified of losing myself in you.”
You pulled back slightly, just enough to meet his gaze, the depth of his words reflected in the dark pools of his eyes. For the first time, you saw it—the same raw vulnerability, the same fear of not being enough that you had harbored so deep inside.
And in that moment, it no longer mattered who was enough or not enough. All that mattered was that he was here. And so were you.
You kissed him then—softly, slowly, as if testing whether the world would allow such a moment of peace to exist. But his lips were insistent, and soon enough, the kiss deepened, your worries melting away with each touch, each press of his body against yours. The weight of your doubts lifted, replaced by something far more comforting, far more real.
In his arms, you were not lost. You were not a fleeting moment. You were everything.
And as the night wrapped itself around you both, the air no longer felt cold. It felt warm. It felt like home.
It was almost absurd, how you could feel so much for someone, and yet, never have them see it. Caleb, your constant. The one who would always be there to crack a joke, to make you laugh when the world felt heavy. But as time passed, it became harder to pretend. Pretend that the ache in your chest was just something you could ignore, pretend that you could be content with the role of the background character, the one who never got the spotlight.
You stared at the ceiling, the dim glow of your phone still lingering in the darkness, his name burning through the cold night. You were so tired of pretending, tired of holding everything inside, locking it away like some precious treasure only you could see. But it was suffocating you, this secret love, this thing you never asked for but couldn’t escape.
The steady buzz of your phone in your hand felt like a pulse, like a lifeline, but also like a reminder of everything you couldn’t have. It hurt too much to answer. It always did. Because with Caleb, every conversation felt like an act of theater, a performance where you smiled and pretended to be happy, to be fine, when the truth was you were drowning. Drowning in a love that never had a chance to be returned, that was never meant to be returned.
Another message lit up the screen, and your chest tightened. "Pipsqueak, please answer me. I’m worried."
Worried. His words rang in your ears, his concern always just enough to make you feel seen, but never enough to pull you from the depths of your own feelings. You wanted to scream at him. To ask him why, after all this time, he still didn’t see you. Why couldn’t he see what was right in front of him?
But you couldn’t. Because if you did, you would break. And breaking meant losing him entirely. It meant letting go of the one piece of your life that was still solid, the one thing that still anchored you to the world.
With a trembling hand, you turned the phone face down on your nightstand, the silence between you now absolute. The emptiness felt suffocating, but you couldn’t take back what you had already done. You had locked him out, not just from the room, but from your heart. And maybe that was the best thing for both of you.
But as the hours passed, the weight of that decision grew heavier, until it felt unbearable.
Your phone buzzed again. It was him, and this time, you didn’t hesitate.
You picked it up, feeling that familiar pang of hope and fear coil in your chest. There was no turning back now. He was calling, and you—well, you couldn’t run anymore.
“Hey,” you whispered, almost too quietly. The sound of your voice was fragile, like it might shatter if you said too much.
“Y/N, you okay?” Caleb’s voice came through, low and concerned, but there was something more to it this time. Something you hadn’t noticed before—the way his voice lingered, the way it softened when he spoke your name.
“Yeah, just tired,” you replied, forcing a smile into your tone. It wasn’t enough to mask the sadness, but it would have to do.
There was a pause on the other end, and then he sighed. “You’re lying.”
You let out a small, bitter laugh. "Am I?"
“Yes,” he said simply. “I know you better than that.”
And for the first time, you felt the walls you’d carefully built between you begin to crack. Caleb, as oblivious as he was, somehow always knew when you were hiding something. It was frustrating, maddening even, but in that moment, you couldn’t deny it. His understanding of you, his ability to see through your armor, made everything feel even more impossible.
“I’m fine,” you said again, but it was weaker this time. "I just… I need some space, Caleb. It’s nothing. Really."
His voice softened, as though he could sense the lie even through the phone. “I don’t believe you.”
You were silent for a long moment, the weight of the conversation pressing in on you. There was so much you wanted to say, so much you had to say, but the words felt tangled in your throat.
“Caleb,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper, “I just—sometimes, I feel like I’m invisible to you. Like no matter how much I try to be there, it’s never enough.”
And there it was. The truth. The raw, aching truth that you had buried for so long.
You waited for him to speak, to laugh, to dismiss your feelings as something trivial. But instead, there was a silence so thick it felt suffocating.
And then, in the quiet, he finally spoke.
“I never meant to make you feel that way,” Caleb said, his voice unusually quiet, the usual teasing lilt replaced by something softer, more vulnerable. “I… I never saw it like that. But I should have. I should’ve seen how much you’ve always been there. How much I’ve taken you for granted.”
You swallowed, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill. You didn’t know how to respond. You didn’t know if you even could.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he continued, and there was something in his voice now that made your heart ache. “You’re not invisible to me, pips. You’ve never been.”
And in that moment, you allowed yourself to believe him, just for a little while.
You didn’t know what would happen next, what this would all mean, but for once, it didn’t matter. Caleb had seen you. Really seen you. And that was enough to keep you holding on.
“I’m here,” you whispered. “Always.”
And in the space between those words, something shifted, like the universe itself exhaled, allowing you both to breathe again.
loyal to my man ~Xavier .... Life is delulu at this point and other fixations
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