Wise Things My Sister Has Told Me (friendship Edition)

Things You Don't Comment On:

- someone’s eating habits

- appearance issues that can’t be fixed there and then

- someone else’s “bad” decision if it can’t now be undone

- someone’s laugh or voice

- someone’s “unrealistic” dreams

- someone “not looking their best” in photos

- someone not wanting to do something and trying to subtly avoid it without making a fuss

- anything that you know will make someone self conscious or insecure unnecessarily

Your daily reminder to pull-your-shit-together. Remove the distractions. Delete the apps. Use flight mode. This is your one life. All those people you see making moves, do you think they’re sat there wasting their morning scrolling when they have shit to do? No, they’re up, working out, meditating, writing, reading, doing whatever the fuck they need to do to get them to where they want to be. Stop holding yourself back, you have so much potential, you’re literally the cause and the cure. Do you want you to do well? Live the life of your dreams? Well babygirl it’s not gonna happen unless you break out of these unproductive habits. You need to get into momentum, you need to have a plan and stick to it. You need to channel your energy into moving forward. You can do this, let’s go! 

Anaïs Nin, from “The diary of Anaïs Nin, vol. 3: 1939-1944”

The problem is a lot of people are scared to fail. They opt for not doing anything at all so their ego doesn’t get hurt. If you can’t risk failing you’ll never win. How can you commit to anything & succeed if you can’t even commit to yourself & conquer your feelings.

in your 20’s find a balance between hustle & rest. you don’t need to have a love life or a soulmate figured out. go travel the world. battle your demons. set up a business, find people who value your heart & yours will attract. don’t live in the past, you have so much more to see

☝🏽👌🏽

A Relationship Is Not a Wishlist.

Look, a romantic wishlist is a nice thought, but it’s also creepy and unfair. It’s setting up an impossible monstrosity of expectations and you’ll be disappointed for no other reason than you played yourself.

I don’t mean lowering your standards. I mean setting real ones, for actual people who exist. For people who are just people and not a customized Frankenstein creature.

The person you’ll end up with is going to be their own person with their own hopes, dreams, goals, anxieties, and weird little habits. They’re not a checklist trophy that will meet your every size or quota.

They’re going to be way different and in fact way more interesting than the stitched up hologram made from half-baked movie cliches and choir-preaching memes.

Relationships are about compromise. Not compromising yourself, no. But about two weird people making it work. It’s a wild mix of chemistry, compatibility, non-negotiables, history and trauma, highs and lows, disagreements and pushback and feedback, augmenting goals, and lifelong change.

“Get you a guy/girl who” only works if you see yourself as a main character-savior-hero and you see others as a secondary prop to fulfill your romantic comedy narrative. In that case, you have other issues and you can wait.

And waiting in the meantime is a really good time for growth, for self-discovery, and for becoming the kind of person you never knew you were looking for. Singleness, really, isn’t waiting. It’s being.

— J.S.

I'm not the friend who would click pictures.

I'm the friend who would ask you to send the pictures later.