Yo Gamer We’re Hanging Out Tomorrow Right?

instead of getting a personality i got a salt lamp

I have lost Girl

me: is sad, depressed, anxious, and stressed

me: what?? how is this possible?? i have Girl???

THIS is what happens when the straights partake in gay culture

i did not consent to this feeling

How did you write an essay as if it were a post on tumblr

hey yall!!! i’m writing a paper on using preferred pronouns for a class and i wanted to share the first paragraph i wrote because i like it!!

I believe in using preferred pronouns. The reason I hold this belief so strongly, no joke, ties in directly with my take on the meaning of life. To be honest, we’re all just floating about on this space orb we call Earth, there isn’t much rhyme or reason to anything we do. But you know what’s the coolest thing we can do on this funky ball? We can make people happy! We can spread joy, legitimately the most rad superpower and any of us can do it! “But!” I hear you say as you read this (I have very good hearing), “I haven’t a dime to my name for spreading such joy”. To this I say fear not! Because a specific, wonderful group of people use something called “preferred pronouns”. I absolutely LOVE learning a person’s preferred pronouns, because in my eyes, it’s as if being offered a magic key, engraved with the words “hey! If you ever want to make me feel happy, use this!”. Dear friend, you have just given me a superpower, and I cannot wait to use it!

the entire month of august is like the sunday evening of the year where you think you have your shit together but at 11pm you realize theres school tomorrow & your shit is completely not together 

hold on lemme just,,, *walks into a pond and slowly disintegrates*

my ap government and politics teacher:

did you guys watch the democratic debate last night? I didn’t. I was watching the sonic movie.

there’s eyeballs in my head????

my dad, yelling at the radio with sports commentators that he put on: shut up!!! there are no more Sports