Anti-endos Are Weird As Hell I Swear. They'll Take Any Chance To Just Like.. Fakeclaim Anyone. Especially

🍎 and 💜 for the ask game!!

(plz tag our system blog Xenith screwed up by using our main lol @the-eyeris-collective)

pluh @the-eyeris-collective

🍎 "if you experience amnesia barriers, are there any headmates who have inconsistent barriers?"

a: ehhhhhh not really. don't know how to explain it. we are all kinda inconsistent with these sorts of things but generally we have emotional blackouts/greyouts and we don't remember what the others were doing until later. (can be days, weeks, or months later)

💜 "do you have any age or age-identity that has more people aligning with it than others?"

a: yeah! there's a lot of adults and those with complicated ages. complicated ages for us include chronosians, those who don't have a concrete age, and those who just kinda slide around or some shit. the adults are usually in their early to mid 20's but there are a few outliers who are older

op turned off reblogs due to getting harassed over this post but i agree with this too hard .m y post now

a reminder for anyone who feels like they're going to spiral, do something bad to themselves or someone else, etc. :

you aren't a bad person.

it's okay to let your feelings out, but do so responsibly. there is always at least someone who will let you use them as a support system. there is always at least one healthy coping mechanism that will work for you.

take a deep breath, smell the flowers. focus on the environment around you. listen to the sounds of the outside. clench all of your muscles and slowly, one by one, let the tension go. light a few candles, or sage. pray, if your belief system includes it.

listen to reiki, asmr, or guided meditation. listen to music, no matter the genre. write out your feelings, even if it's a first draft. watch something you love; hell, do something you love. distract yourself from the feelings of guilt, anger, and anguish.

of course, you can't always run away from it. that's fine. leave it for now, and come back to it later in a healthier mindset. sleep on it. forget it in the moment.

just take care of yourself. you got this!

( anti-endogenics are able to interact with this post. self-care is for everyone. )

Hello 😊👋

I pray you are in the best condition. I am sending you this message and I am hopeful 

Can you reblog this post to help save me and my family?  I'm new to Tumblr and GoFundMe, and we desperately need your support 🙏❤️.

I wish you a beautiful life 😍🥰

link to pinned post

link to gofoundme

PLEASE REBLOG

crisp glass of water moodboard

mike, she’s going to be a standee when i open my shop ‼️

When you see it, REBLOG IT.

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433

LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255

Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438

Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673

Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000

Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253

If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.

me (literally!) (i probably have idiopathic hypersomnia!) (kill me!)

yeah thats about right

long kinda vent ahead hooray. it's kinda system-flavored this time. tastes like lemon. 🍋

sometimes it's really hard being a system, especially one that is so, like, hyper-aware of everything i have. every disorder, every disability. thing is, i can't do anything to fix myself!!

i've literally told my own mother about separate identity states and the memory loss and whatnot. she said to my therapist that i "was right about the dissociative thing," even if we were only diagnosed so far with unspecified dissociative disorder. the dmdd diagnosis typically leads to an adulthood diagnosis of bipolar, which i'm actually scared about. i fit much more into borderline, just like my mom.

ugh, i don't know. i don't even know what i'll be diagnosed with, come adulthood. i mean system-wise. we're a trauma-endo system (which some fuckheads will already think is enough to not warrant a diagnosis, thanks for that) that doesn't switch from the main host a lot. we have good communication when i can switch out from the front, but we don't have complete memory loss. if anything, it's more like emotional amnesia and the memories are kinda gone too, but they can come back at a later date.

for example, our medic fictive had to call the cops (they didn't even do anything either, but it was our mom's last resort) one night at 2 am last year. i don't remember it well, but i remember it happened. he was terrified that night and he couldn't switch out.

but what the fuck could we even be diagnosed with? i want a diagnosis. i want to figure out exactly what is going on with my brain. most of my parts aren't exactly same-y. they're different people, at least most of them are. sure, we have to mask a little bit, but they think and act a little different than me. we have the memory loss, but i've always had a horrid memory, even before our late syscovery in january of 2021. but i sometimes feel like it's not "bad enough" to warrant a full-on did diagnosis.

it just confuses me. a lot of the times before, my mom would see me looking up disorders and go "oh, shi's just looking hirself up again." but i'm just that aware of what's wrong with me. people either see me and disregard my research, or i just don't know how to help myself. those are the 2 results. yes, i have a therapist. yes, i open up to her and she makes me feel safe, much more than any other therapist i've had in the past.

i just don't know how to help myself. to help us. i want to live in functional multiplicity, mostly because i get so tired and i get so lonely. i don't want these people to be gone at all. if anything, they give me someone to talk to, even if our headspace isn't permanent and we don't remember our own conversations, even if we jot them down. my memory absolutely sucks. i can't remember faces, names, or even voices sometimes. i can't remember people.

basically, i love and yet hate being disabled by anything my mind and body throws at me. i like the community, i like learning about myself. i hate the symptoms, i hate the confusion and the doctors not being able to do their fucking job. ahem, looking at you doctors who only tested me for SLEEP APNEA, which i definitely do not have. now they want to test me for narcolepsy... which i probably don't have, either.

sometimes i wish what it was like to be of sound mind and body, even if it was for just one singular day.