Cake Is Not A Lie. It Was Delicious.

I'm going through my phone gallery and deleting a lot of stuff because my phone is a 6 year old android and is being wonky, so I get a new phone tomorrow.

Before that though, I found a picture of my dog, who sadly had to be euthanized back in 2011 due to brain damage from puppyhood abuse by some fucker. The damage had always made her have seizures, but it was not often, but when she was about 10-12, it got too frequent to be good for her quality of life.

It was a hard choice, but she went happy. Mom sat on the floor so she could comfortably hold our beautiful girl. Mom was her favorite human and she went with a wagging tail.

She was such a good girl and I miss her horribly.

Our sweet Baby ♡

She was a dalmatian/black lab mix. She wasn't the smartest dog, but she knew how to count.

In order to help her get over her fear of people, each person who came over had to give her a peanut butter dog treat. It didn't take long for her to figure out how to get treats from EVERYONE and she became quite happy to be around people then.

Sorry for rambling, I'm just missing her.

Newest painting!!

No problem! You seem like a genuinely nice person and I've been scrolling through your blog for a while now and I like it. We seem to have some things in common and I think you would make a good friend.

😭😭😭 That is so sweet! I'm socially awkward irl, so I tend not to really have many friends. It's easier to be friends online cause I have an easier time articulating my thoughts via text.

I don't trust anyone who hasn't acknowledged their capacity for evil.

Loving reminder from your land history auntie:

North American golf courses have had 50-100 years of arsenic and mercury based fungicide and herbicides applied to their soils.

Do not eat anything that has been grown on a golf course or downstream from a golf course. I know it sounds cool and radical, but you are too valuable to poison yourself with heavy metals.

Protect each other, turn your local golf course into a pollinator garden, not a sex forest or community garden.

a girlfriend is just a weighted blanket that bites you

And now, a brief look at the human fucker community on a monster version of tumblr

🐙 WetterThanYou Follow

It's so sad that humans can't breathe underwater, makes bringing them to my lair so much harder

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

Was anyone going to tell me humans can't breathe underwater or was I supposed to just learn that from a text post?

🐙WetterThanYou Follow

Please tell me you didn't seriously look at humans and go 'they look like they can breathe underwater'

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

I thought they were like lions and how some live in the sea :(

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

DID YOU THINK SEA LIONS WERE LITERAL LIONS?!

👺Ascetic-more-like-ass-cetic Follow

They're not? 😭😭😭

(10,053 Notes)

🐺HereWolf Follow

Vampires will be like 'I love humans' and then transform every human they know into another vampire. Weak. You are like someone who only watches Marvel movies and calls themselves a filmbuff.

🏏Batass Follow

Hey OP this is an important part of many vampire cultures so you should tone it down because this is really offensive.

🐺HereWolf Follow

You should get a culture that isn't fucking lame.

🦁BEaST-MAN Follow

OP you are literally a werewolf. And into throwing stones in glass houses I guess.

🐺HereWolf Follow

Gurl you don't know the amount of effort I put into keeping my human girlfriend a human girlfriend because I love her for being a human.

(8,000 Notes)

💚CraftedLove Follow

In the club on a date with a human straight up breaking it. And by 'it,' haha, well. Let's just say. His sanity.

(42,069 Notes)

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Sick of getting added to group chats like 'plots to overthrow our lieges.' Yes, I am both an evil wizard and an evil vizier. But I'm not plotting any treachery because my king is also evil, and so is my queen. We are in an evil polycule and give each other evil night kisses.

🧙‍♂️ Crystal-Rooster-and-Orbs Follow

Also stop telling me about the evil queen's OnlyFans like the king and I aren't helping her run it. Who do you think is taking the pictures? You have no idea how many evil yet deeply impractical schemes it's given us the economic cushion to do.

(48,835 Notes)

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

Need me a human who will hold me like this and just destroy me 😍

♣️HeraclesOfficial✅ Follow

Hey.

🤼‍♂️Bitch-of-Heracles Follow

WHY DID NOBODY THINK TO WARN ME HERACLES WAS ON THIS WEBSITE?!

(33,333 Notes)

research shows that girls love to go to bed