"There Is Some Inescapable Part Of Me That Yearns For You- And Not Just For Your Rough, Cracked Hands
"There is some inescapable part of me that yearns for you- and not just for your rough, cracked hands to lift my head by my intrusive chin and tell me that I'm handsome, or to run them down my arms and back up again, teasing me (encouraging me, even) to let go, and give in- but there's an element to me that flows through my body like sticky sweet blood that powers me, it moves me. And you know it.
You know that you drive me insane. I'm sorry that I can't give it all back to you. But you know that you have this ability to drive me wild and you manipulate it like you do me; every move is planned and has its purpose, like you're folding me into origami- a sitting duck, floating on a pool that's drenched in your aura, your fucking charm. You disgust me.
But, you rule me. I'm a slave to you. If you held my head down in that pool, I'd be blessed and rather then cry out "dear God, save me!" I'd only find the words to thank him for giving me what I've always wanted. You. I want you. Unfortunately for me, God has abandoned me- or at least he doesn't acknowledge me and that's more then I can say for you. Rather than be benevolent or silent, you torture me and you punish me for what I can have. I can have you- you know I can, otherwise you wouldn't abuse my affection so liberally, dragging me on, leaning in a little too close, whispering a little too soft, drawing my hand to yours and pressing it ever so slightly against your thigh- I could have you, if I wanted. And that's just the problem.
I don't want you. I don't, I don't, I don't. But I need you. You are a horrid person; I abhor myself for knowing that there is a capacity in me to fall so hard for someone that I'd call against my very nature. But you're also intoxicating. You've bewitched me; I'm drunk, I'm stoned. I'm poisoned. I long for your tongue to cross paths with mine- even if it means that you'll bite like the waiting asp you are and I'll die. But I'll die loving you.
You're so open about it. You openly sport your prey, your toys- when you're tired of them, they dissolve away into the background, and I've watched it. Women, they come and go- like a cycle of evaporation, they come, they dry- they leave. Women, you get rid of. But me...I'm different, because I am not one of them. I linger; I tell myself its because I am ice to you- I refuse to bend and show you how much it affects me, but I'm melting. Dripping. For you.
One day, I'm going to give in to you. This is my acceptance of defeat. I will never be able to resist you for much longer- but I wanted to have it stated, have it shouted, how much I bloody despise you despite the fact that you are all in the world that could ever make me happy. These words are my paper crane- a thousand of them, a thousand more never said and never written- and they are my deepest wishes. Come and claim me, whenever you are ready."
-siriuslyblackhearted
More Posts from Willowyandcerebral and Others
here’s my demo of the song A Kingdom from a Spark for the episode The Cooler. the lyrics are meant to be from an ancient story about the origin of the fire kingdom.
and the lyrics
there was a time before,
when we were still afraid of the dark.
then came the first spark.
a fiery birth,
It totally rocked.
sentinels crashing down out of the blue,
creating a kingdom of red hue
for me and you.
these sleeping gods of tremendous power,
can cause a new kingdom to flower.
so burn as bright as the sun,
my fiery one.
when light starts to dim awaken within,
the slumbering ones.
If you do something with your whole heart and it’s a mistake, you can live with that.
Florence Welch (via thespiritualslut)
i am gonna make it though this year if it kills me
i’m so upset
I just realized that the reason ghosts say Boo! is because it’s a latin verb
they’re literally saying ‘I alarm/I am alarming/I do alarm!!
I can’t
Witchcraft for the Home : Cleaning Edition
So for me cleaning in and of itself is a ritual. Cleaning my home is how I destress and organize my life, and how I help good energy flow into my home. For me clean counters are as important to my craft as Sage. So hear are a small list of things I do when cleansing my home.
🌱First things first. Open the GD windows. You have no idea how awful the stale air in your home is until you let some fresh air in. Especially if you live in a small apartment like I do. You’d be amazed how quickly that alone can lift the bad energy in your home. 🌱I wipe down my counters and such with those little wet wipe cleaning things. When I buy them I add a tiny drop of Frankincense essential oil and orange blossom essential oil to them and shake them up (I buy the none scented ones so that it doesn’t get all weird smelling) 🌱Same goes for floor cleaner. Add a small drop of whatever cleansing oil you like to clean your laminate or tiles floors. DO NOT ADD ANYTHING WHEN CLEANING REAL HARD WOOD. If you have real hard wood floors adding oils to your hard wood floor cleaner can mess with the ph and screw up your floors 🌱Put some moon water in your oil diffuser while you’re cleaning to help balance out the energy in your house 🌱Sprinkle some salt in the carpet right before you vacuum it up to pull up those bad vibes as well as the gross stuff in your carpets. 🌱Tidy up your altar. I don’t know about you but for me I could have a perfectly clean room and if my altar is a little cluttered then the room doesn’t feel clean. Making sure my tools are put away and my offering dish is clean is important. 🌱When sweeping, sweep the dust out the front door if you can. (Don’t sweep like, trash or anything out). 🌱Once everything is clean and fresh light some incense. I normally choose clove or vanilla to make my apartment feel cozy
writingsforwinter:
Once, I died my hair to change colors with the seasons
and finally settled on red out of the mistaken belief
that it would lend me all the courage fire lends to wood.
Beneath the wave caps I thought I loved you the same way the sea loves
the coral that tattoos it to the ocean floor.
Now, I remember my legs, my phantom limb syndrome,
how I used to run so fast along the shore even the seagulls couldn’t catch me.
Those were the days when my head was still above water,
when I never once thought of shedding the scales on my wrists
and ending it all.
One day I’ll go back to those legs, to coming up out of the deep
and tasting the salty air again
without wishing to drown.
One day seaweed will stop reminding me of a noose.
One day I will love you with lungs full of fresh air.
There are still so many seashells on the shore left to collect,
and I’m finally going to find them all.
"I was drunk one night and he worked at a gas station. Thought he was hot, so I gave him my number. We hit it right off... meaning we just had sex. It was casual for a while, then it progressed from there."
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