To Hell With Those “Date A Girl Who...” Essays; Date Any Girl You Want

To Hell with Those “Date a Girl Who...” Essays; Date Any Girl You Want

It seems like every other essay on ThoughtCatalog these days claims to have discovered the perfect kind of girl to date, the girl who will be your other half, the girl for the relationship that will finally work out this time. Date a girl who reads, they’ll say. She’ll spend hours in your bed with the latest novel, she’ll wear those round patterned reading glasses that make her look so sweet you could just eat her right up. Date a confident girl, they’ll say, a girl who isn’t afraid to wear black lipstick or dance on the bar with a dozen guys leering at her.

But the idea that girls come in prepackaged categories, that girls come in different kinds like Barbie dolls or chocolates, is bullshit. Date any girl you want, because no girl is perfect like what they’ll try to convince you of in those essays. A girl with anxiety who constantly worries about the color of her hair or whether everyone in her life is about to abandon her can still be the one you’ll want to be with for the rest of your life. A girl who has never read a book in her life can still teach you as much about love and adventure as a girl who reads voraciously every single spare second. A girl who would rather stay home and eat frozen pizza and watch old TV reruns instead of going out for drinks or heading to loud house parties can make you feel just as whole as the girl who wants to spend all her Saturday nights out on the town. And the girl who eats five thousand different versions of macaroni and cheese for lunch and dinner can still teach you about healthy relationships just as well as the girl who exercises several times a day and eats nothing but vegan flatbreads and salads.

Every single star in the entire galaxy comes in a different color, size, rate of decay than all the other stars. Red dwarfs, blue giants, pulsars - but they all still put on a spectacular lightshow. And although the death of some stars may end in the formation of other stars while the death of still other stars may end in black holes, each ending still paves the way for a new beginning. A relationship with all those girls you were told to date have just as much of a chance at ending in a black hole as a relationship with all those girls that were written out of the equation, just as all of them have an equal chance of ending as a beautiful star.

Because when you tell someone to date this kind of girl, you’re really saying, but don’t date this other girl. She’s not good enough. She doesn’t burn as brightly.

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willowyandcerebral

3 weeks ago

My mental health depends on an almost 2 meter tall Irish man who sings horny and/or depressing songs and loves Greek mythology.

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willowyandcerebral

3 years ago

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions

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willowyandcerebral

9 years ago

Yesss, beautiful, so beautiful! I love this dearly. <3 <3 <3

Kingcup - Youth, innocence, dawn - Bog/Dawn :3

There’s abrightness about her that pulls, likethe lure of the sun’s first warmth after a cold winter. And there’s frost inhis veins and frost on his bones but one note of her song and he’s lost, lostall over again, drawn and held and wrapped in an innocence that hasn’t touchedhis kingdom in long years. She thaws the cold, melts the clinging frost, and for all his attempts, for all his preventive measures he can’t help it (can’t help falling, tumbling, crashing, helpless once again, how did this happen, how did he let this happen?)

He’s old,gnarled and dark where she’s a new sprig, a pale, rosy morn, and it’s not right, it’snot natural. It’s the potion thatmakes her eyes curve the way they do, with a pleasure the sight of him shouldn’tpossibly be able to evoke in anyone. But in thedark he can pretend, just for a moment, that she sings with sincerity; that thesmall, delicate hands reaching for his do so with a desire beyond thewhims of a magic potion.

It’s not thetruth, but then the truth has always hurt him. This is better. She is better, more so than he could ever hope to be, and so he keeps her, this bright sundrop; keeps her in the dark and keeps her for himself, andpretends that her light is meant for him.

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willowyandcerebral

3 weeks ago

tweet from psychopompmike: the fact that Hozier's least streamed song is Jackboot Jump is telling and the TikTok girlies aren't ready for that conversation tbh. inset tweet from same user: I wanna say something controversial yet so brave...

🙃 Regular reminder that while Hozier has amazing love songs, he is ALSO very outspoken about his leftist politics, specifically anti-fascism, anti-racism, reproductive rights, Palestinian rights and more.

Take Me To Church and Foreigner’s God are scathing critiques of organized religion, specifically the Catholic Church and the colonization of Ireland.

Moment’s Silence is about oral sex but it’s ALSO about how that specific sexual act is often distorted to a show of power rather than that of love.

Nina Cried Power is an homage to various (mostly Black) civil rights activists from the US and Ireland and a call to follow their path.

Be criticizes anti-migrant policies and Trump and his ilk.

Jackboot Jump is about the global wave of fascism and about protest and resistance.

Swan Upon Leda is about reproductive rights and the violent colonial oppression of Ireland and Palestine.

Eat Your Young is about the ruinous way the 1%/capitalism and arms dealers prioritize short-term profit over everything else to the detriment of the youth/99%

Butchered Tongue is about Irish and other indigenous languages being suppressed and erased by imperial powers.

If any of the above surprised you, please, please delve deeper into Hozier’s music, you’re missing such an important part of his work.

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willowyandcerebral

4 weeks ago