Went To My Schools Farm Today After School. Saw A Lotta Cool Things. I Had No Idea Pig Testicles Were

i NEED Shang Qinghua fics, where he’s just a bitch. He had fucking beef with everyone for the most petty reasons.

Qi qingqi? That bitch asked to use his water. If you want water go to your own peak!!

Liu qingge? He was such an ass to write, just to get nerfed. Fuck him.

Ming fan? Yeah that’s a fucking brat. Sqh would throw him into a wall if he could.

And I need. NEED! Him to have what seems to be 0 beef with sj.

Shen jiu? Oh he’s not too bad. Barely ever gives me too much paperwork. Barely even talks to me. My favourite to write, so it doesn’t matter that his story got nerfed.

And like, Shen jiu would be so smug. I don’t know how to explain it. Like, yeah, maybe the “other” peak lords don’t like him. But like, Shang Qinghua likes him. And Sqh hates everyone.

The other peak lords are so mad. So mad. This- this- shinxiong of theirs just, like, doesn’t like them. But he likes Shen jiu!! How the fuck is that possible!?

Also, Sqh and sj just gossiping. One of the other peak lords just walk into sqh and sj talking shit about everyone while sj is eating caramel popcorn that Shang Qinghua made, and Shang qinghua is AGGRESSIVELY chewing on Melon seeds. Extra points if that peak lord is mqf and he just get dragged into these weekly shit talks. Because, he’s not that bad.

Oh! And sy and Sqh playing fuck marry kill. That would be hilarious.

here ya go https://www.instagram.com/p/BvCC7hanEzW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ghw9t7eid2md

Between the numerous System notifications that were finally starting to clear out and the implications of what he's learned, Shen Yuan felt dizzy.

He can tell that the other Shen Qingqiu is absolutely serious about marching over to Yue Qingyuan and murdering him. He had averted the initial crisis but now he had prevent a crime from happening while trying to wrap his head around the fact that, apparently, a person named Shen Yuan, who was also potentially him, had existed in some other world. And was brothers with Shen Jiu.

Did that mean there were other versions of himself who read the same novel but ended up in different places and in different bodies? He had been making shit up on the fly when he had told the Original Goods that he had escaped the Qiu and was pretending to be Shen Jiu, but for all he knew, it might have been true after all. It made something in his stomach squirm to think that a version of himself might have been the one to hurt Binghe.

Before he could continue to contemplate this, Shen Qingqiu-- that was confusing-- Shen Jiu shook him gently by the shoulders.

"A-Yuan, get your head out of the clouds. I can't believe you still do this, how have you gotten this far?" The other peered at him closely, identical green eyes flicking between his own. Despite his frown, Shen Yuan could tell he looked worried. With a lowered voice, he asked, "You look pale. Is it System again?"

Shen Yuan blinked. Wait, was Shen Jiu also another transmigrator? How did he know about the System?!

----

"You're not me, are you?" the other Shang Qinghua casually asked with a small smile. His eyes were dead. "I can tell. You're someone else."

"I don't know what you mean." Shang Qinghua smiled back, though he was pretty sure he was glaring daggers at the other. He did not come this far to have his cover blown by this slimy version of himself! He had to strike first. "Hm, how's your friend? The one from the North."

His alternate's self's smile dropped immediately. It gradually returned when he said, "Like you don't know." He smirked. "Come now, Feng-er. You and I both know that you've always followed in your gege's footsteps. This is no different."

Shen Qingqiu was doomed.

He stood still, fluttering his fan nervously and trying to avoid catching his counterpart's, the real Shen Qingqiu, glaring eyes from across the room. Instead, he idly observed the other Cang Qiong Mountain Peak Lords, trying to spot the differences between the ones he knew and their alternates.

Liu Qingge had brought back a strange artifact from one of his hunts to the monthly Peak Lord meeting. It was a mirror, rimmed an ugly tarnished gold, topped with a decoration that was shaped into an unidentifiable creature with ruby red eyes.

[Important Artifact Detected: Red-Eyed Sphinx's Mirror! Quest starting...]

Shen Qingqiu had been trying to remember where it might have appeared in PIDW when the surface of the mirror suddenly began to glow a dull yellow. It quickly brightened until it obscured everyone's vision.

And then, there stood another set of peak lords across the room, facing them down.

System, what on earth is going on???

[Quest started: Lost Long Spirit in My Reflection! Other characters have been transported to this universe. Host must find a way to send them back without revealing his identity as a transmigrator.]

WTF? I didn't agree to this!

[Good luck!]

System??? Get back here!

While the two Yue Qingyuans and Xu Qinglis conversed together to try to understand what had happened, the other peak lords had begun to mingle with each other, curious about their counterparts.

Shen Qingqiu tried to suppress his panic, sticking close to Shang Qinghua. His Yue Qingyuan occasionally flicked his softened gaze towards the alternate Shen Qingqiu, likely noticing that the other still acted as he used to before his qi deviation. In fact, several of the peak lords he had gotten to know over the years were sending some looks at the other Shen Qingqiu.

With the original goods right there, how long would it be before something exposed him as a fraud?? What if he was confronted about why he acted so differently?

[Host must avoid having his identity exposed. Being revealed as a transmigrator will result in Host being immediately sent back to his old body.]

Yeah, yeah, same shit as always!

Looking to his side, Shang Qinghua seemed to be experiencing the same threats, desperately looking away from the more dead-eyed Shang Qinghua across the room who, luckily, was barely paying him any attention.

Fuck, what do we do?

---

Shen Qingqiu continued to glare at the Other Shen Qingqiu in the room. The other Shen Qingqiu was so obviously a fraud, he could tell within minutes of being here. While his alternate seemed somewhat familiar, he didn't act like him at all, his mannerisms were all off, and despite the attempt at keeping a poker face, Shen Qingqiu could tell that he was nervous. Probably at being caught out.

His alternate self had likely been replaced with a bodysnatcher or some sort of spirt, if they truly were supposed to be the same person. Was everyone else stupid, or had they had their brains sucked out by a Heart Mouthed Lobster-Squid?

Or maybe they simply like the bodysnatcher better and didn't bother to investigate.

Shen Qingqiu's face became stormier, turning his glare to the Other Yue Qingyuan, wondering if he had felt happier once his precious Xiao-Jiu had vanished. The other Yue Qingyuan's face grew even more pathetic. Tch. Typical.

"That stupid System--" Shen Qingqiu nearly snapped his neck in looking at the bodysnatcher upon hearing his murmur. The fraud, upon noticing his sudden attention, clammed back up and looked away. But Shen Qingqiu knew what he heard.

Xi Tong.

He hadn't heard those words in years, not since--

He stepped forward, scanning the other once more. Upon a second, more thorough look, Shen Qingqiu realized that he grew more familiar. He wore his hair in the way that Shen Qingqiu wore it, but looser and less severe. His eyes were clearer and lighter, with hints of a smile, despite his nerves. He occasionally quickly glanced up and to his left, as if seeing something there, before bringing his attention back to the room at large.

No. It couldn't be. He was long dead, despite Shen Qingqiu's best efforts. Even if the fake had some similar things about him, that doesn't mean--

Shen Jiu had once had a brother, besides Qi-ge. Slightly smaller than him, despite the fact that Shen Jiu passed him along as much food as he could when on the streets. He smiled so much despite their circumstances, and was so kind despite Shen Jiu constantly telling him that he was making himself a target. But he looked so, so similar to Shen Jiu himself. They could have switched their clothes and looked exactly the same, if one didn't notice the difference in their demeanors.

His brother has also always been a little odd, talking to himself and arguing with an imaginary friend that only he could see named Xi Tong. One of the reasons that they survived as long as they did on the streets was due to the inexplicable knowledge that his brother seemed to have. Somehow, his brother knew about the various plants or small animals that they could hunt and sell for a pretty coin in the markets. Shen Jiu never asked, not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

But his brother was dead. He had died years ago, in the time during when they were in Qiu's manor. During a punishment for Shen Jiu's attempt to get them both to join Wu Yanzi; he had switched their clothes and taken Shen Jiu's place and died for it. That had been the final catalyst that made him set the manor ablaze and escape, mourning his brother's death as his fault for daring to be free. Cursing Qi-ge for not coming back for them.

Dazed and his vision dim, Shen Jiu took another step forward, and another. Hope, something he thought he had killed off long ago, slowly rose in his chest.

Had his brother survived in this world? Had he managed to escape alongside Shen Jiu? Or had Shen Jiu died in his place? Dimly, he can't help but think that the world would be far kinder if that were the case. If his brother had made it to Cang Qiong Mountain and became a peak lord all on his own and still managed to keep his smile. If he didn't have Shen Jiu dragging him down with him.

The other Shen Qingqiu, not having noticed his approach, laughed at something the other Shang Qinghua said ("Wonder if Shang Qinghua is a traitor here, too," Shen Jiu thought dimly). His laugh was the same. He rose his fan to hide his face, but Shen Jiu noticed how his nose crinkled, and his eyes nearly closed in delight, exactly like--

"A-Yuan?"

Even if I can't read it, it's just as heartbreaking as the actual thing. It's pretty cute, tho

2017.3.18

Game Boy style　（episode 7)

Romantic Cumplane!

I need more romantic cumplane. It’s my guilty pleasure. Idc if it’s post transmitigation or au: never did transmitigate; like don’t get me wrong, I love platonic cumplane but there’s just something about them romantically that itches my brain just right.

Like that haters-friends-lovers tropes is just 🙂‍↕️🤌

The way SY would absolutely be airplanes sugar daddy. Just another nobleman paying an artist during a renaissance period. Like we have all these big man CEO tropes meets petite women whose working at a chicken shop to make ends meet ala kdrama style but make it cumplane. And I eat it up every single time. And airplane is def the shorter one. I think with his luck he would be short in every universe.

But I rarely find fics with them romantically or without another person in the pairing and that makes me sad :(

And no I will not be writing cumplane fics bc I can barely keep up with mine, even tho I know the rule is “can't find it then make it”

I rather like my handwriting in pen. I wish I was good at calligraphy, but I’m too lazy to practice. ✒️✒️✒️ #handwriting #handwritinggoals #calligraphy https://www.instagram.com/p/BnC-XPCHgme/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kjmr45a6qlna

ayyyyy i need me some of this. you probs do too #writing #spellcheck #grammar https://www.instagram.com/p/BuJchQ_nbpX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=sc7w2qbtnz6g

a lil sketchy cumplane comic i drew for an art trade event on the bingyuan server!

how’s that virgo-libra cusp treatin’ ya, Shen Qingqiu?

[image is a portrait drawing of Shen Qingqiu looking serene and collected. behind this are eight faded drawings of Shen Qingqiu in various states of comical disarray and disbelief, grimacing exaggeratedly, ripping at his hair, collapsed on the ground, and so on.]

cumplane thoughts: (lots of nsfw LOL)

airplane in shen yuan's lap, cockwarming for him while he writes and shen yuan looks over his shoulder, sharply criticizing his writing

shen yuan using his advanced knowledge of pidw to wifeplot the fuck out of airplane (its not his fault that airplane doesnt remember that flower is an aphrodisiac or this cave is the "ohno now we have to get married!" cave. really, it was irresponsible of airplane to forget such things and this was the forgone conclusion of that hack author being so forgetful)

cucumber and airplane being enemies online, but crushing on each other irl without knowing about the online handles (classmates? workmates? that cute guy i see on the train?)

shen twins au where shen yuan notices that disciple shang is kinda sus and investigates (thinking that its bc of the mobei jun thing and now that he's grown up in this world he's sort of invested in NOT having demons attack his sect-mates), but the more he gets to know the skittish disciple, the more he's sorta catching feelings and this is a problem! bc shang qinghua is gonna be a traitor! ....but is he really? sure, qinghua is a lil asshole, but he's not really the bloodthirsty type? maybe with some proper guidance from his shixiong he'll turn out better? no, jiu-ge, i am not being naive and no i dont think my dick cures evil, its not like that! it's just that--why are you calling him my boyfriend?! I SAID IT'S NOT LIKE THAT, JIU-GE!

cumplane frenemies since their school days and current roommates. shen "i'm not gay so the sex isnt gay" yuan and shang "you're not fooling anyone but sure" qinghua. they're just 'friends' according to shen yuan. it's 'no homo sex' apparently. shang qinghua is fine with this, he is, his stupid boyfriend might have the most internalized homophobia in the world but like... they live together and shen yuan is mostly nice to him and they've been together for years and this is something real, right? except shen yuan's mom starts pressuring him to "finally settle down and marry a nice girl" so shen yuan is talking about it and the sinking realization finally hits shang qinghua that shen yuan never really considered their relationship to be a real thing. thats... fine... this is fine... he'll be fine. he is not fine. nope. not one bit. and he is not gonna be the bigger man about this. fuck. no. he is absolutely going to fucking destroy that stupid piece of shit EX boyfriend who never deserved him!! he is going to avenge himself and ruin shen yuan's life and he is going to be super shitty about it! but first, he's going to run away from home and cry with a tub of ice-cream bc wow that is the most painful breakup he's ever had haha. except after shang qinghua disappears and leaves behind a "fuck you, i want a divorce" note, shen yuan looks for him and asks friends and gets dressed down for being an idiot and also realizes oh fuck he actually totally was in love with his not-boyfriend and now he has to win back a very vengeful and very bitter shang qinghua, who also knows all of his weaknesses and darkest secrets

cumplane sex where cucumber is struggling to comprehend just how fucking shameless airplane is. that man can ride his dick while moaning pathetically and then still look cucumber in the face and smile while asking for round five and cucumber knew that airplane wrote porn, cucumber READ that porn, but nothing quite prepared him for just how horny and sexually expressive airplane is. SHEN YUAN'S THIN FACE WAS NOT READY FOR THIS SHIT

shang twins au: the shang twins have been pretending to be one person, for vaguely evil reasons, and shen yuan notices solely bc he Is A Very Observant and Smart Person and it's not at all because he's memorized the pattern of airplane's freckles or anything gay like that, nope, that's not it at all!

cucumber starts talking to one of airplanes various troll alts that he uses to stir up drama and airplane replies, fully intending to further agitate one of his loudest anti-fans except.... they just kinda... keep talking? and airplane is really enjoying himself? and they're taking it to the dms and now they're kinda friends and shit, it's bad if cucumber finds out he's airplane, right? the entire basis of their friendship is a lie then. which is totally fine, haha, this friendship prolly won't last long. except it totally does and now theres like irl meetings and cucumber is Fucking Handsome and that isn't fair AT ALL bc now airplane has a crush on his (best??)friend and ohwow, cucumber can srsly NEVER learn abt his identity as the author. cucumber is a super bitter and grudge holding person but also he HATES the author and airplane rreeeallly likes having someone who kinda likes him in his life aND OHFUCK IS THAT CUCUMBER LOOKING AT HIS PHONE!?

shen yuan making airplane endure Every Single sex position that he wrote those poor wives in the harem having to endure. partially to make a point of "that CANT be possible", partially bc he's still annoyed at the hack writing, and partially bc it's rrreeeeeaallly nice to see airplane fucked out of his mind like that

airplane accidentally wife-plots himself and cucumber is a good bro about it and fucks away the fuck-or-die pollen. except now he's accidentally gotten airplane addicted to his dick??? bc now airplane is seeking him out constantly. was there something else in that fuck-or-die pollen? bc airplane is acting weird. was there some freaky love potion or something? ahh, it's really hard to think of the answer when he wakes up to the peak lord of an ding sucking his dick

airplane accidentally gets transformed into a magical beast and before he can find his way back to humanity, he gets beaten up and hauled off by liu qingge to be presented as a gift to shen yuan. which oki, fine, maybe he can communicate to his bro. but shen yuan is really nice to him when he's in this form (like a hamster monster) and wow, he never knew how much he really liked shen yuan being nice to him??? maybe he should just let it be for a bit longer??

shen yuan, recently trasnmigrated into the body of an ice demon, does not know what to do about the sobbing an ding disciple clinging to his thigh and begging for his life (bc i refuse to kill off mobei jun, this is a body swap au and now mobei jun has to live in modern day china as shen yuan LOL)

cucumber decides that he likes airplane best when he's too fucked out of his mind to keep talking shit. also, on a related note, airplane decides he likes when cucumber talks shit when they're in bed the most. does he have a degradation kink? he might have a degradation kink.

sugar baby airplane and his very grumpy sugar daddy shen yuan. yes, airplane is spoiled rotten, but he also has a strict writing schedule and his harshest critic tormenting him in bed. but ohwell, shen yuan also nags him to eat properly and makes sure that he does and the kitchen is always stocked and sometimes shen yuan just pulls him into a hug and rests his chin against airplane's head and yeah, he can live with sometimes getting fucked while cucumber growls in his ear "that was a shit chapter, you completely forgot the continuity from chapter 24 and now you created a big stupid plothole with the most interesting monster you made--". its a good life

airplane first meets shen yuan as a coworker. he's a rich trust-fund baby type who has impeccable fashion and a poser attitude. clearly a thin face and probably boring as fuck. airplane meets shen yuan for the second time at a convention while signing autographs, dressed in binghe-merch and clearly Way Too Invested. and airplane immediately thinks the gap moe is AMAZING. he's gonna have so much fucking fun with this. especially since airplane was wearing cosplay and his coworker didn't recognize him >:D