FLOWERS AND SCARS

Digital Age.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a cage

Or should I call it #theDigitalAge ?

And I must tell you, it's loud in here.

I see and hear everyone too much.

Being called out by memes, and

Feeling left out on trends.

Photoshop making grass a little greener

While I filter out my blues.

I send you LOL with a straight face,

Use "Panic" as my wordle guess,

You see my carefully curated stories,

Unaware of the ones I hide from you.

Trained to fake a smile

Faster than the shutter speed.

While living like the protagonist

Of Franz Kafka's dairy adaptation.

Tired of looking through this glass cage.

Aren't you sick of this Digital Age?

Oh, Who am I kidding! You've already moved on,

To double-tap the next thing.

Book: *physically hurts to read* Me: *highly recommends*

Aesthetic: Sudden Collapse

Give me sudden collapses.  Please.

Give me stumbling and wavering and vision going blurry before going black.

Give me running and faltering and crumpling like a ragdoll.

Give me standing up mid-argument and words trailing off and eyes rolling back.

Give me slamming into things on the way down.  Give me frantic, scrambling catches by the unprepared.  Give me a soft thud and heads turning back in unison.

Give me curses, give me worry, give me eyes that close and do not open.

Give me a fight that’s over, give me looking up at the sky in relief, give me letting go.

Give me the sight of legs that no longer work, of eyes that flutter shut, of a body dropping to the floor.

"if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more"

"whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same"

"my very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame."

"my affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever."

"you pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope… I have loved none but you."

- Stendhal, The Red and the Black

Therapy can't fix me, I really need an exorcism

i love when i “make a mental note” of something. it’s gone within 20 seconds

he is half my soul.

the song of achilles by madeleine miller // work song by hozier // unsourced image // achilles come down by gang of youths // unsourced image

Finding that one scene in a book that you love to read again and again because you just can’t get over it is the best part of reading in my opinion

A weak week!

I buried my head in a pillow to bawl

Knees to my chest like a ball

I guess it was the Domino effect

Of being vulnerable, easy to affect

Sometimes my heart twists and wrings

Most often my head hurts and rings

I assure you it's not just a phase

I've tried but the feeling doesn't faze.

No one really saw the signs

Even if it's simple science

At last I cried out aloud

Louder than I was allowed.

(there's something so comforting about homophones. <3)