Anaïs Nin, Fire: From “A Journal Of Love”: The Unexpurgated Diary Of Anaïs Nin, 1934–1937

if there's anything tumblr has taught me it's that this guy named franz kafka was in agony 365 days a year

“Fuck you, my child is completely fine” 

YOUR CHILD IS OBSESSED WITH SIX CRIMINALS!

A weak week!

I buried my head in a pillow to bawl

Knees to my chest like a ball

I guess it was the Domino effect

Of being vulnerable, easy to affect

Sometimes my heart twists and wrings

Most often my head hurts and rings

I assure you it's not just a phase

I've tried but the feeling doesn't faze.

No one really saw the signs

Even if it's simple science

At last I cried out aloud

Louder than I was allowed.

(there's something so comforting about homophones. <3)

maybe the rain is there to teach us that falling is beautiful. some people are a map when you didn’t realize you were lost. you’re the ache that never left, the first line of an unfinished song. it doesn’t have to be a poem to be poetry.. have you seen how carefully the light can touch your face? and even though I’m an abandoned house in search of a ghost, I don’t need anything from you. I want everything with you.

you're not hard to love. you were only made to feel that way by someone who didn't know how.

(hears a song lyric) this would make a great all-lower case fanfiction title

Happy Ides of March !!!!

*looking at a post i made like minutes ago*

"what the fuck was i on how did i write it like that"

For a second or two

Sometimes I fall in love with strangers,

For a second or two or some more.

Not for the thrill or dangers,

For the kindness, simplicity, and whatnots.

That someone on a park bench

Petting a random dog,

And then someone by the swing

Helping a kid back to her feet.

That someone at the next table

Smiling genuinely at the waiter,

And then someone at the handwash

Holding the door for an old woman.

I fall in love with strangers,

A second for how they look,

Two for their generous smile,

And some more for the random act of kindness.

The universe conspires you around such strangers

At that particular point in time out of all.

Because kindness conjures love.

Even if it's from a stranger.

A stranger,

Who will stop what they're doing

To fall in love with you.

For a second or two or some more.

I Never Could

With a shy smile and a dusty guitar

You sing me a song about rainy afternoons

You close your eyes and get lost in the lines

Leaving me envious

Of the words that left your lips

And those strings under your fingertips

I want to reach out, hold your hand

Instead, I hold myself back

Try not to break the spell

But you pull me close, hold me tight

Between now and then, I give up the fright.

It's not a fireworks-and-butterflies kiss.

Instead, it feels more like a sea breeze

And coming home

I peek a glance to see that your eyes

Are closed the way you do when you sing your lines.

Your arms wrap me from behind,

Your head on my shoulder, breath on my neck.

You hum a song

That we claimed as ours, like a wind in my ears.

This time around, it's your guitar that's left envious.

I kiss your freckles, scars, and moles.

And wonder how the songs could leave your lips

Because I never could.

REFORMATION

Holding on tightly to mamma's finger,

Our first fear was getting lost in the crowd

Then we grew up,

Held many other hands and let go of some

Slowly we saw our fear change

From getting lost to feeling lost amidst a crowd.

As a kid, we woke up in the middle of the night,

And then didn't go back to sleep

Thinking there might be demons under our bed

But as an adult,

it's harder to get any sleep

Because demons moved from under our beds to inside our heads.

(18.11.20)