"I Am Always Jealous. I Am ALWAYS Jealous. No Matter How Much I Have. I Am Always Wanting More. I Can't

"I am always jealous. I am ALWAYS jealous. No matter how much I have. I am always wanting more. I can't be filled. I can't be enough. I can't get everything. I want more. I want more. And I have so much love, blessings, accomplishments, money, talent----more than I deserve for free and I still chase for more. I still scoff at other's happiness. I still wish for their failures. I pray for their downfall. I want to see them get beautifully destroyed, just because I don't want to see them succeed. I still want what they have even if in reality, I don't need it, I want it so they can't have it. I am so petty, so mean, so ill. No wonder no one likes me. I am filled with so much hate and despair and spite that I could never ever have enough"

~one of my unfinished novels. <3

More Posts from Welivetodream and Others

8 months ago

(doing this again cuz it was fun)

*Atsushi and Akutagawa got called to Aya's school*

Teacher: Aya punched another student and broke his nose. Both of them fought.

Atsushi, anxious: SHE what? She never acts like that please believe me! I apologise for her actions

Akutagawa, looking at his watch and tapping his feet: do we have to pay damages?

Atsushi: this is not the time for that? Aya-chan, apologise!

Aya: I am not apologising! Daddy, that kid said you are a terrorist and dad is a criminal

Atsushi: no we are not

Akutagawa: we aren't?

Atsushi, gritting his teeth: you're not helping here

Teacher: it's okay...Aya and the kid can talk it out tomorrow and say sorry.

*they get home*

Aya: you're mean, I was defending you!

Atsushi: why am I the villain here. Why aren't you reprimanding her, Akutagawa?

*Akutagawa leans towards Aya and whispers in her ear*

Akutagawa: so who won the fight? Did you?

Atsushi: RYUUNOSUKE----


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1 year ago

ENTP: hey, what a surprise, you are calling me for the first time!

INTP: I need your help in killing someone

ENTP: I know you have a vengeance against the P.E teacher but you can't just kill him....

INTP: Not him! I want to kill INFJ.

ENTP: .....what...I thought you liked INFJ

INTP: Exactly, because of him I am getting neurochemical reactions in my brain that I don't like. I get anxious whenever I see him. I feel self-conscious and my heart pounds like crazy. INFJ reminds me of my grandma, mom and my favourite English teacher whenever he talks. He distracts me when he smiles. He needs to be eliminated.

ENTP:......I think you are in love.

INTP: SHUT UP ENTP, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE?


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1 year ago

Who wants to be the main character? I want to be the omniscient narrator of someone's story.


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2 years ago

I can't wait to listen to the new Taylor Swift album to adapt a new personality. Till now I have been: a lovesick highschooler, the girl next door, depressed college student, a popstar, a diva, a lovable goof, a snake, again a more mature lovesick highschooler, a storyteller, a dreamer and now..........let's see.


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2 months ago
welivetodream - scientia potentia est

THESE two are going to be the DEATH OF ME-------WTH IN THE ROMEO AND JULIET ARE THEYYYYY???? And I even mentioned how they PARALLEL EACHOTHER? AHHHHHHHHHHH ASAGIRI-----

Sskk is one of the most emotional rivalries/ships I have ever seen. It is a relationship that actually hits the heart. Skk is iconic. Kyoukenji is cute. Fyolai is poetic. HiguGin is heartwarming. But sskk?

Sskk is deeper than all these dynamics. The more you get into it the more parallels you see, the more symbolism you see. The things they say to each other both stings at times and also makes you cry.

Akutagawa is both at his best and worst whenever he is around Atsushi. And the more the story goes on the less bitter he becomes.

Atsushi despises Akutagawa but he still works with him, because working with Akutagawa makes him more secure, feel as if someone's got his back.

"Don't worry, go you fool"

"That's why Dazai-san left you"

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually
Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually

Akutagawa and Atsushi support and help each other. They work as a team. Putting their differences apart

Because they are quite similar, looking for one thing; reassurance and praise

Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually
Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually
Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually
Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually

They have had difficult childhoods with no parental guidance and they grew up to be very different in terms of personality because of their unique circumstances.

Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually

All of these emotions. All of this pain in them. That keeps them separate but it also brings them together. Because that's the thing that they both understand. What's it like to have nothing. And they fight because they just want to be a part of something.

Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually

And maybe in one universe where Dazai never brought them together, they might be the best of friends like they were always supposed to.

It doesn't matter how their relationship is, soulmates will always find each other.

Sskk Is One Of The Most Emotional Rivalries/ships I Have Ever Seen. It Is A Relationship That Actually

After all the only person Akutagawa has smiled at besides his sister-------is Atsushi


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2 years ago

Parents: my child is okay!

The child: watches 10 hours of video essay, lives on tea and biscuits, writes 20k words on one sitting, has debates with themselves, hates everyone, sleeps more than 12 hours, has no goals, has no friends, does not realise the day-night cycle, cries randomly.

Parents: I choose to ignore that


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5 months ago

There were so many good quotes that I could only fit ep 1 😭😭😭😭😭 and there's still some that I left. Some quotes are changed to fit the word limit. Comment/reblog if you have any other quotes or want to include in part 2!!!

Link to the video:


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2 years ago

Life is like a choose your own adventure book. Except you don't get many choices if you live by other people's rules. As Robert Frost said;

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."


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2 years ago

How I wish it had gone:

Richard: you know, smoking is bad for you....

Francis: shut the fuck up, bitch. I KNOW SMOKING IS BAD FOR HEALTH. Thanks to you keep reminding me that. Henry fucking killed Bunny and all you care about is if I have lung cancer, you douchebag????

Camilla: Francis, it's okay...

Richard: I was just saying....

Francis: You have no problem with the amount of alcohol we consume on daily? We are all alcoholics, take drugs and murder people!

Charles: shhh...

Henry:........can anyone stop him please, I am getting a headache.

Francis: I just have a lot of feelings.


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  • thingsiwishidlearnt
    thingsiwishidlearnt liked this · 7 months ago
  • welivetodream
    welivetodream reblogged this · 7 months ago
welivetodream - scientia potentia est
scientia potentia est

"If I had followed the multitude, I should not have studied philosophy" ✨ ✨ šŸ–¤ she/her šŸ–¤āœØāœØ(casual blogger/multi-shipper)

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