Summary: The emperor manages to get inside one of the crow’s minds, but he isn't able to hold off against her for very long. It begins to compromise the rest of them.
Warning: +18 Warning, swearing, crows forced to succumb to past traumatic memories/nightmares, eyes of crows turning black as well as fingertips
Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader
Type: Series
Word Count: 2.3k (sorry it’s short)
Series Masterlist
Author’s Note: The reader’s dialogue is italicized because she actually doesn’t verbally speak to the crows, only through their thoughts. Also, past memories are written in italicized for better distinction between what is past and what is present.
Upon hearing that name, Kaz Brekker felt a familiar cord being struck in the deep and dark crevice of his heart. As that name was a painful reminder of who he once was and what he was forced to leave behind. He often reminds himself that that person is dead and he is all that remains.
With his head hanging low, Kay’s gaze shifted upwards to glare at the prisoner with hooded eyes. His jaw was locked and his hands clenched together into tight fists at his sides. He was seething with anger.
“How...” Kaz stopped himself in order to regain his composure. “How do you know that name?”
He said this out loud, which only caused slight confusion amongst the crows. They didn’t seem to understand what he was asking, but they recognized that he was staring directly at the fugitive. They didn’t quite understand what was happening.
His question went completely unanswered. The emperor of magic simply stood there facing his general direction. He seemed to narrow his eyes at her, mentally wondering if there was a smirk plastered on her face underneath the bag over her head. He wouldn’t brush it off.
And so he repeated himself. “I said...how do you know that name?”
More silence.
Without thinking, Kaz went to grab the gun at his side. He raised it up and instantly fired a shot, which caused a short bout of mayhem between his crows at his recklessness. They called out his name in utter shock, having been taken away by his action.
The gun did exactly what you’d expect a gun to do rightly; it fired a bullet that should have lodged itself between her eyes. However, the bullet stopped directly in front of her face and dropped to the ground. He carelessly threw the gun away.
“Fuck,” Kaz cursed under his breathe. He walked away momentarily as if trying to find a way to vent his anger.
“What the hell is happening?” Jesper demanded an explanation.
“She’s messing with my head,” Kaz said slowly. He tried to shake the feeling he felt of her looming presence, but she wouldn’t leave him alone. She had infiltrated his memories having just discovered his name. “I can feel it,” Kaz explained further.
“But how?” Inej questioned.
“I don't know!” Kaz almost lost his temper with how loud those words came out. “I don’t know how she got into my head, but she knows my name.”
All of the sudden, Kaz saw brief flashes of his memories from the past. He was hunched over his desk, looking over the plans nearly three years ago. He watched his former self take hold of the plans and crumple them up. He discarded them.
Out of instinct, Kaz squeezed his eyes shut tightly in hopes of blocking her out of his mind. He quickly shook the memory out of his line of vision. It didn’t take long for him to realize that she had been the one to activate that memory.
He began pacing back and forth. He could feel the strong sense of fear taking over his demeanor, feeling at a total loss of control over his thoughts and memories. He was shown another memory of himself in his office. He heard the familiar voice of Jesper and Inej talking to him, but his former self didn’t look up.
Upon being shown that particular memory, Kaz was able to put the pieces together. When he turned his body to face the prisoner, he saw that she was no longer looking towards him, but rather, with her head slightly lowered. He narrowed his eyes at her odd demeanor.
“Boss,” Jesper watched Kaz carefully. “What you doing?”
“She’s looking for something,” Kaz spoke mostly to himself.
“What?” Wylan perked up. “I-In your head?”
“Yes,” Kaz nodded.
“How do you know for that she’s looking for something?” Nina added.
“Because she’s silent,” Kaz examined. He only knew this because he too also grew silent when he was thinking hard about something. “She’s focusing,” Kaz noted.
For a brief moment, Kaz wondered if it was a coincidence that he saw himself in her mannerism. He studied her carefully as if she was a newfound species he had just discovered. He wondered what she could possibly be after.
“What is she looking for?” Matthias asked him.
A beat of silence was all that followed. One particular memory came flooding back to Kaz’s mind; the one where he finally chose to present his grand scheme to the rest of the crows. In the memory, the voices of the crows were quick muffled as if they were struggling to become clear. His former self hadn’t looked up at them just yet as they filed into the room.
Finally, a wave of realization overcame his features. His shoulders dropped in defeat and his face went blank. He could practically hear the gears turning in her head as she tried to make out who belonged to those voices. Now Kaz realized what she was searching for.
“It’s you,” Kaz breathed in realization. “She’s looking for all of you in my memories.”
And that instantly became his biggest mistake. For this job, he recruited his most trusted companions; the ones he had worked with in the past and the ones he knew he could rely on to get any job done that was thrown their way. Now he had put them in harms way.
He tried so hard to block that memory out of his mind for the pure sake of his crew. It felt like he was pushing his shoulder against a solid door in attempts to keep an intruder out. He was using all his mental strength to keep her out, but it wasn't going to be enough. The door cracked open.
The blurry images of the memory came into his line of vision. He saw the heist’s plans laid out in front of him. Those distant voices that had once sounded rather foggy had now grown into something clearer. Much to his surprise, Kaz’s memory of himself was the first to speak in a normal voice that could be understood.
“The person we are breaking out of the court isn’t just an ordinary scientist this time,” Kaz’s former self placed his hands on the table to lean forward in his place. “They aren't Grisha, but they are more powerful than them.”
“More powerful than Grisha?” Wylan wondered out loud. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “Is that even possible?” Wylan almost scoffed in the memory.
In that exact moment, Kaz was ripped out of that particular memory. His eyes snapped open. He quickly redirected his attention towards the youngest member of the crew who stood not too far away from. He was compromised at this point.
“Wylan Van Eck,” the emperor of magic’s demonic voice sounded. “The demolitions expert.”
Both Wylan and Kaz heard that demonic voice speaking in the back of their minds. And it frightened them both terribly.
“G-Guys,” Wylan stuttered. He had just glanced down at his hands to see that his fingertips had begun to grow black “W-What’s happening to me?” Wylan’s voice quivered in fear.
“Wylan,” Jesper called out desperately.
But there wasn’t enough time to save him. His eyes were overcome with a wave of darkness that turned them pitch black. His body succumbed to the darkness taking over which resulted in him collapsing to the ground. His mind began to wander through the abyss of his worst nightmares. And there was no telling when he’d come out.
From there, it all came shattering down around them. It was a chain reaction. For the crows had grown to be somewhat like a spiderweb; each of them were connected to one another in some way or another. Returning to the memory only showed Wylan turning to face Jesper who stood directly beside him.
“So remind me why we are breaking them out?” Jesper from the past asked almost sarcastically because it didn’t seem like a very appealing heist to him.
“Because she is worth nearly 100 million kruge,” Kaz shut him down in the memory.
By this point, Jesper had abandoned his post to hurry towards Wylan’s body. He dropped down to his knees, gathering the boy into his arms for comfort. He tried to wake him up by desperate tapping his cheek and calling out his name. But nothing changed.
“Wake up, please.” Jesper begged. He felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “Please Wylan. Wake up.”
“Jesper Fahey,” the demonic voice resounded once again. He perked up upon hearing his own name in the depths of his mind. He was slow to turn towards the prisoner. “The sharpshooter,” the voice added.
“What the hell do you want with us?!” Jesper was seething with anger. He quickly rose to his feet and proceeded to reach for the guns at his sides. He pointed one of his guns directly at her face.
Though, in reality, Jesper knew that his precious guns would be no match against the emperor of magic. He had seen firsthand his boss fire a single round at her and she completely deflected it without flinching. So his eyes shifted towards the only person they all believed could take her down.
Without much warning, Jesper’s eyes grew black just like Wylan’s had done not two minutes earlier. His mind became clouded with memories from his past. He flinched at the pain it brought him. His arm eventually fell at his side and his body dropped to the ground.
The familiar voices from the memory came flooding back into Kaz’s head. He had to watch Jesper turn his attention to Nina who stood beside him. She spoke up next.
“Where is she contained?” Nina asked, glancing back down at the map.
In the background, Nina’s eyes had only widened in horror upon seeing two crows collapse to the ground. She raised her hands to stop whatever madness was ensuring since she was always reminded that she was the only one who might come close to stopping her. All she needed to do was stop her heart.
“Nina Zenik,” the deep voice spoke to her. Nina’s own heart dropped. “The heartrender.”
Out of instinct, Nina looked towards the one person who always kept her grounded. She knew what was going to happen next. She reached out for him only to see the tips of her fingers growing black in color. Her once beautiful green eyes changed to this pitch black shade of horror.
The strong heartrender stumbled forward for she was unable to keep herself standing up anymore. Before Nina was able to fall to the ground, Matthias was able to catch her in his strong arms. He lowered her to the ground slowly just as she slipped past the darkness.
The memory returned once again.
“She’d be kept here,” Matthias pointed to the center of the map where the White Island stood. “In the dungeons to be specific,” Matthias added.
In the memory, Nina’s former self had shifted her attention to the great fjerdan who stood beside her. He knew the court better than anyone in the room. The change shifted to compromise the next victim.
“Matthias Helvar,” the demon breathed. “The druskelle.”
Upon hearing his name, Matthias lifted his head to look directly at the emperor standing before him. He felt his own jaw lock into place. His blood began to boil in anger. His hands clenched into tight fists as he held the body of the woman he loved dearly.
“Demon,” Matthias hissed. “Go back to hell.”
Out of pure anger and resentment, Matthias stood to his feet with every intention of putting one final stop to the emperor. But he too fell under fatigue. He began to loose his footing, dropping one knee to the ground. He glanced towards one of the last two crows remaining. He tried to hold himself up and be strong for as long as possible. His eyes became black and his body tumbled to the ground.
In utter shock and horror, Kaz was forced to watch his four closest friends succumb to the darkness. He glanced at each of their unconscious bodies, feeling the panic and fear growing stronger with each passing second. He didn’t know what to do; he wasn’t in control anymore.
His heart stopped for a second as he heard a sweet familiar voice from that same memory resound in the back of his mind.
“But that means...” Inej’s voice trailed off in the memory. She was one of the few who knew exactly who he was talking about. “The Emperor is real?” Inej asked horrified.
“Yes, Inej Ghafa.” She turned to face the voice who spoke to her in her mind. “I am very much real.”
Instinctively, Inej had to shifted her body to face towards Kaz. She held onto the last sliver of hope that he’d be able to save her and save them all. She had this panicked look on her face that he will never forget as he had never seen her look more terrified in her life.
This was the final straw for him.
“Wait!” Kaz begged for the first time in his life.
Without hesitation, Kaz broke into a full run towards the emperor. He had every intention of putting a stop to her schemes because she had passed a line by messing with his crows. Unbeknownst to him, Inej had just fallen to the ground behind him. She slipped past the veil. He raised his cane above his head, fully intending to bash her head in.
But right as Kaz brought his cane towering down, his body fell through black clouds. The darkness had taken hold of his senses, which rendered his body completely useless in reality. When Kaz lifted his head to get a feel of his unknown surroundings, he was met with his worst nightmare staring directly at him.
OOOH!!!! Only one more chapter to go! What are everyone’s thoughts? What do you think is gonna happen in the last chapter???
TAGLIST:
@d34drapunzel @adorawritesalot @vixythepixie @theghostofshadows @lonelywitchv2 @arcadialine @zeeader @cleverzonkwombatsludge @shara-ne @iloveinej @ireallydontcareanymorebrooo @mystic-mara @missymisha @tremendoushearttaco @home-of-disaster @gh0stgirl333 @harrydimples @marina468 @phoenix666stuff @grippleback-galaxy @mariar31
Summary: Heavily inspired by the song “Running Up That Hill” by Kate Bush in which, instead of Eddie Munson sacrificing himself to buy more time, the reader makes a deal with God to switch places with him.
Warning: FAIR WARNING major character death, mentions of injuries, gruesome descriptions of injuries and attacks, mentions of blood, failed attempts to revive, extremely sad, very angsty
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader
Type: Oneshot
One cannot find the words to describe what it feels like watching the life drain out of someone’s body. All of the sudden, their eyes will lose focus and fall completely blank. The jagged movement of their chest will stop entirely, meaning that they no longer found it hard to breathe. What’s left is a limp, dead weight body. And that's it.
It was the most heart-wrenching thing Y/n ever had to experience in her life. She just watched her best friend die in her arms. She couldn’t hold back the tears from falling down her face. She was devastated.
Right before he had passed, Eddie spoke about how he didn’t run away this time and he sounded so proud of himself. He convinced himself that this was gonna be his year. The last thing he did was send her a weak smile and tell her how much he loved her.
For a brief second, Eddie struggled to catch his breath. His eyes became unfocused as his breathing came to a final halt. His body went limp, which made all his tense muscles relax. His soul was taken to the heavens in that exact moment. He was gone.
“Oh god,” Y/n silently sobbed to herself.
She clutched his lifeless body in her arms, holding him as close as humanly possible. She rocked back and forth in attempts to soothe herself from the pain of loss. She closed her eyes to say a little silent prayer.
“Please, God. Let me take his place,” Y/n begged. But she knew it would be no good and she knew her prayer would go unanswered.
There was something bright that caught her eye in her peripheral vision. When Y/N turned her head to look towards the unknown source of light, she was to squint because she was so blinded by the light. She didn’t even notice that it had grown closer until it had completely overtaken her body. Then there was nothing.
When Y/N was finally able to open her eyes, she found that she was standing in the middle of the trailer in the upside down. She was holding onto the trash can shield and the makeshift spear that they had crafted a couple hours earlier. She was quick to realize that she faced the closed bedroom door.
The demobats were ruthlessly pounding against the solid wood door. They scratched violently in hopes of breaking through the barrier. Their screeching became more desperate and more hostile.
“Come on, Y/n!” Dustin called out. “Come through now!”
Upon hearing her name, Y/n spun around on the heels of her feet. She lifted her head so her gaze could follow the sheet rope through the portal on the trailer ceiling. Now she clearly saw that Dustin and Eddie had already gone through the portal.
The two of them were watching her through the portal in the ceiling of their world. They begged her to climb up the rope to them. They called her name multiple times as if they were desperately trying to get her attention.
In that moment, Y/n discarded he makeshift spear and trash can lid off to the side. She went to grab onto the rope with the full intention of climbing it. But the sounds of clawing, scratching, and shrieking drew her attention back towards the bedroom door.
“Y/n!” Dustin called out. “Come on. Let’s go!”
“You’re so close! You just need to climb,” Eddie yelled over him.
So Y/n gripped the rope of sheet tightly and began pulling herself up. She struggled to climb at first. When Y/n glanced towards the bedroom door through the corner of her eye, a haunting thought came into her mind. It made her fall back onto the floor and she loosened her grip on the rope.
Those demobats would eventually break through that wood door; it wouldn’t hold them off forever. If they broke through the door, what was to stop them from going through the portal into their world? They were going to have to stop them somehow. And right then, Y/n could only think of one thing that would work.
“I have to draw them away,” Y/n said more to herself than anything.
“What?! No!” Eddie shouted at her.
Upon hearing his voice, Y/n had lifted her head and stared up past them longingly. It was almost as if she had this all-knowing look in her eyes that told them exactly what she was going to do. And neither of them liked her plan.
“Those things will kill you,” Dustin tried to reason with her. “You can’t do this!”
“I have to try!” Y/n responded in a persistent tone of voice.
“Not if I have something to say about it,” Eddie said through gritted teeth.
Out of pure instinct, Eddie grabbed hold of the rope and began climbing to get back through the portal. However, Y/n was quick to pick up the makeshift spear once again. She sliced the rope with the spear so that the rope fell to the ground in both worlds.
So Eddie’s feet landed flatly on the ground of his trailer. He held the limp rope in his hands. His mouth was hanging open in a manner of utter shock and disbelief. No, this can’t be happening.
“What the hell are you doing?” Dustin yelled desperately.
“Don’t come after me,” Y/n ordered them.
“Y/n! Stop! Don’t do this!” Eddie exclaimed.
“Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!” Dustin repeated over and over again.
“Come back!” Eddie begged.
But she chose to drown out their calls and pleads. She slipped out of their line of sight, heading towards the front door of the trailer. She proceeded to kick the door open before using every ounce of energy to run as fast as she could. She grabbed hold of one of the bikes laying in the heap of dirt, clambering onto the seat and riding as far away from the trailer as possible.
The demobats began to follow her in a thick cloud of black fury. They were screeching in anger. But they were drawing away from the trailer, which was exactly what she wanted. It was all going according to plan.
All she needed to do was keep pedaling. She wouldn’t dare look over her shoulder in fear that she would be right on top of her. The thundering sound of her heart was beating against the confines of her chest, threatening to break through at any given second. She had to keep moving.
Together, Dustin and Eddie lifted the mattress on the ground. They tossed the mattress off to the sidelines. They had to figure out a way to get back through that portal, but without the rope, it wasn’t going to be easy.
Setting up a random chair under the portal, Eddie took a few steps back in order to get a running start. He counted to three in his head before sprinting towards the chair. He leaped onto the base and launched himself upwards as far and as high as he could. He caught hold of the end of the portal which allowed for his head to go through and his hair fell upside down.
With some difficulty, Eddie managed to pull himself through the portal. He landed on the heap of the mattress. He got out of the way quickly. Then Eddie encouraged Dustin to do the exact same thing he did.
Meanwhile, Y/n could feel the beads of sweat running down the sides of her face. She seemed to ignore the burning feeling in her legs from pedaling so hard. It felt like time was starting to slow down and everything moved in slow motion.
For a brief second, the upside down fell silent. She could still feel the rumble in her chest when the thunder sounded from the black and red skies. She closed her eyes to relish the small moment of tranquility. She knew this was going to be the end for her.
All of the sudden, a demobat collided into her side which threw her to the side. They began to swarm around her, circling in the most taunting manner. It was just like seeing hawks swarming before devouring their fallen prey on the ground.
Without a second to lose, Y/N had to force herself to stand to her feet. She began to run away once again, but she knew she wouldn’t get far on foot. She was going to have to hold them off for now. So she stopped running.
Slowly, Y/n turned around in her place. She faced the heavy storm of demobats. She pulled out her makeshift spear and nail pierced shield, moving into a more defensive stance. This would be her last stand.
“Hurry!” Eddie called over his shoulder.
He didn’t even look over his shoulder to check if his friend was following close behind him. He didn’t seem to care about the burning feeling in his lungs, which were desperately trying to help him breathe. He was forcing himself to run faster; he had never run so fast in his life. He only had one thing in mind: he needed to get to her.
It had taken them a couple minutes before they finally reached her, but it was much too late. What they found was such a gruesome and grotesque sight. The demobats had all fallen to the ground. Some of them were brutally stabbed, laying motionless in their own cold blood. Others looked like they were untouched.
What had happened was hard to explain. It was like a light switch. As soon as that switch was flicked down, the demobats naturally fell out of the sky. They were dead with no explanation as to how or why.
It was quite sad to think that the switch could have been flicked sooner. If it had been, Y/n might still have had a chance at survival. So there, on the dirty ground, surrounded by heaps of dead demobats, was the young teenage girl.
The two boys only stood there looking at the horrific scene in front of them. Thinking that there might still be a chance to save her, Eddie hurried to the seemingly lifeless body on the ground. He scooped her into his arms and started checking for any signs of life.
As soon as Eddie caught sight of her wounds, he let out a shocking ‘oh’ sound. He squeezed his eyes shut tight in hopes of forgetting the horror he just saw. Bringing the back of his hand to cover his mouth, Eddie felt the swell of bile coming up his throat and he had to swallow it down. It was an honestly sickening sight.
From the looks of it, the demobats had definitely attacked her. They must have keep her down for much longer than what Steve had experienced just a day or two ago. Her wounds were far worse than his had been.
The demobats had latched onto her sides, ripping large chunks of her skin out. Her once soft and smooth skin was now littered with numerous scrapes and scratches from the demobats sharp claws.
Hesitantly, Eddie went to touch her face. He tried to be as gentle as possible, hoping to coax her awake. He also took notice of the large gaping wound around her neck, which was bleeding profusely now. A part of him knew that she wasn’t going to make it even if they could carry her back to the trailer. But he simply refused to accept that reality right now.
“Hey Y/n,” Eddie whispered in a soothing tone of voice. “It’s okay. You’re safe now. I’ve got you,” Eddie tried to reassure her.
Much to his surprise, Y/n’s eyes began to flutter open at the sound of his voice. She found it quite hard to breathe. With each breath, there was a stabbing pain piercing her chest. She wheezed in hopes of taking in small doses of air.
“E-Eddie?” Her throat burned and her voice was weak. She didn’t know that the demobats had torn through some of her vocal cords, which would explain why it hurt so much to talk.
“Yeah. I’m right here, honey.” Eddie spoke softly. He tried to shuffle closer to her since her voice was so faint. He watched her face twist in pain which ultimately made his heart ache for her.
“I-It hurts,” Y/n wheezed and winced at the sharp burning feeling.
“I—I know, honey. I know it hurts,” Eddie nodded his head. “I’m gonna get you out of here though.”
“I— can’t move, Eddie. I can’t f—feel anything,” Y/n claimed. She paused for a second, realization striking her hard. “I’m not going to make it, am I?”
“D—Don’t say that,” Eddie said through gritted teeth. He brought his clenched fist to the front of his head. “You’re going to make it,” Eddie lied to himself.
On the sidelines, Dustin stood there with tears in the corners of his eyes. He lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He honestly didn’t know what to do. He could feel the deep pain in his chest; it was the feeling of hopelessness. There wouldn’t be enough time for her.
For a second, Y/n began to grow more tense. Her muscles clenched as she was overcome with a fit of coughs. The taste of copper lingered on her tongue. She didn’t know that her mouth was leaking with blood and that it was now running down her chin.
Out of pure concern, Eddie called her name in a desperate tone of voice. He helplessly held her in his grasp. He watched her writhe in pain. He couldn’t bare to see her like this. He squeezed his eyes shut and attempted to block out the pained coughing sounds.
When Y/n’s coughs subsided, she was able to relax once again. Her chest was rising and falling steadily with each breath she took. But it was getting harder for her now. She could faintly see a hue of black in the corners of her vision.
She tried to hold off fading into the darkness, trying with every ounce in her body to fight off death. She only had a couple more minutes though. It felt like ages before she finally spoke again.
“It was real, wasn’t it? You felt it, right?” She wondered. She furrowed her eyebrows slightly. She looked up at him with a hint of curiosity in her eyes. “You and me,” she clarified.
“What we had? Yeah, that was real,” Eddie confirmed while nodding his head.
“It felt like such a long time ago,” Y/n sighed as she remembered the good old days with him. She felt the smile growing at the corners of her lips. “We were just a couple of kids running around, having fun together.”
Upon hearing this, Eddie let out a soft chuckle. He smiled down at her. He went to brush a small strand of hair out of her face. He gazed down at her with the strongest sense of admiration and sincerity in his soft brown eyes.
“But we really loved each other, didn’t we?” Y/n whispered to him.
“Yes. We did,” Eddie confirmed.
“Promise me—” Y/n began. She leaned forward so he could hear her message better from the proximity. “That you’ll keep on living.”
“Oh honey,” Eddie choked back a sob. He shook his head at her request. “I don’t want to live in this world without you. I just can’t do it. You mean everything to me. You are my world.”
Though she was most flattered, she tilted her head to the side and looked at him with a glimmer of disbelief. She knew that he could do it; everyone has to do it at some point in their lives. They eventually have to move on. People come and go. Nothing is permanent. Nothing is certain. Nothing is known.
“What am I going to do without you?” Eddie began to cry. His tears were streaming down his cheeks mercilessly. His shoulders bounced in time with his cries of desperation. “What am I going to do without you?” Eddie repeated for he seriously wanted an answer.
Slowly, Eddie lowered his head until he hurried his face in her chest. He clutched her shirt so tightly that her blood seeped through the cracks between his fingers. He clung to her in fear that she would slip out of his grasp.
Hearing him cry hurt more than she wounds that covered her body. It made her heart ache for him. She regrettably didn’t have an answer to his question. She couldn’t think of anything to encourage him or give him a piece of advice. Instead, she chose to simply hold him and hoped that would be enough comfort for him. She ran her fingers through his soft black curls.
“You’re going to be okay,” Y/n whispered.
Hesitantly, Eddie raised his head to look into her eyes one last time. He swallowed the heavy lump that lingered at the back of his throat. His tears blurred his vision slightly. He sniffled.
“Eddie,” Y/n choked painfully.
Instantly, Eddie went to hold her hand. This was him silently communicating that he was there for her and that he could hear her clearly. He felt her squeeze his hand. He waited patiently for her to speak up again.
“I love y—” but her voice faded into nothing.
Her eyes lost focus and went blank. Her grip was limp. Her last breath seeped out of her chapped lips. And she was gone.
Upon seeing her body fall to the clutches of death, Eddie could feel his heart dropping from his chest to the pit of his stomach. He scurried backwards as if he were desperately trying to get away from her. He was horrified.
“E—Eddie?” Dustin spoke weakly. He stumbled backwards slightly in disbelief. “Is she—” Dustin couldn’t bring himself to say it.
All of the sudden, Eddie scrambled back to her side. He didn’t want to believe it. He denied it in his mind. He took up her body in his arms once again. He desperately searched her body for any signs of life.
Come on, baby.
He pressed his two fingers to the underside of her neck, feeling for a pulse. But he didn’t feel anything. Then Eddie laid his head down so that his ear was pressed against her chest. He listened for a heartbeat, but he didn’t hear anything. He waited to watch her chest rise and fall in short breaths. But he didn’t see anything.
Come on, darling.
For a brief moment, Eddie didn’t know what to do next. He tried to think of other ways to get her to wake up again. He wanted her to look at him again, but her eyes refused to focus on him. He so desperately wished that he could switch places with her. He wished that he could have been the one to die, not her.
Let me steal this moment from you now.
From the pain in his heart, Eddie grabbed onto her shoulders harshly. He shook her in attempts to bring her back. But her body wouldn’t respond to him. He proceeded to place his hands on her chest, pumping at a steady pace. He tried giving her CPR since he knew how to preform it.
Come on, angel. Come on, come on, darling.
However, all the came from it was more blood. It came out of her mouth. It gushed from the wounds in her sides. It began to cover his hands. Nevertheless, Eddie was pressing harder and harder with each thrust of his hands. He was trying so desperately to start her heart again.
Finally, Eddie stopped himself. He raised his hands to his face and looked down in horror. It almost looked like he had just committed a murder for real this time. He came to the realization that he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help her anymore. She was gone. She was dead.
Let's exchange the experience.
In the most gentle manner, Eddie brought her back into his grasp. He held her against his chest and buried her face in his neck. He cradled the back of her head, rocking back and forth to soothe himself. With tears falling from his eyes, Eddie sobbed quietly at the painful feeling of loss. It stabbed at his heart and only left a gaping hole that would never be filled again.
Oh, the things he wish he had said to her. The things he wished he had done sooner. The thought of ‘what could have happened’ racked his brain every day after that. How he wanted so badly to have been the one to die instead of her.
There was a small gravestone for her. Eddie picked flowers for her every week and brought them to her grave. Most of the time, they were just wild flowers. But on special occasions, like her birthday or a holiday, Eddie would bring roses from the supermarket. Those were always her favorite.
He’d never get over the feeling of losing her. He’d never forgive himself for not being there to save her. There wasn’t a day that went by where he didn’t think of her at least once. He had nightmares about the way she died in his mind, hearing the horrors of her screams and cries as the demobats feasted on her flesh. It was torture to him.
He wrote letters to her to express his thoughts and feelings, even writing a few songs about how much he loved her. He found comfort by just sitting in front of her grave.
One night, Eddie was seated at the foot of her grave. He lifted his head to admire the night sky. There was one particular star that caught his eye because it was much bigger and brighter than all the other stars in the sky. It sparkled down at him.
For the first time in months, Eddie smiled to himself. He directed his line of attention back to the grave in front of him. For he knew that she was that bright, shiny star in the sky, looking down at him and always watching out for him. And whenever he felt sad or lonely, he could just look up to the starry sky and she’d be there for him.
He wasn’t alone. After that, Eddie chose to only remember the positive aspects and parts of the life he shared with his best friend. He remembered how beautiful her smile was, how happy she was on Saturday mornings, and how kind she was to everyone around her.
He remembered the soft and sweet sound of her voice; he loved the way his name rolled off her tongue. In dark times and low moments of life, Eddie would remind himself of how she called his name. It brought such comfort and relief to him. It was almost healing.
Undoubtedly, Eddie knew just how much she had loved him. It was the last thing she tried to tell him before she died. He held onto that thought and he would continue to hold onto that until the end of his time. She had loved him so dearly and he cherished that more than anything in the world.
She had loved him, but he loved her more than she could ever have imagined.
Once Y/n was sleeping, Eddie quietly exited his bedroom and closed the door behind him. He shuffled back into the living room. He found his uncle rearranging the living room, settling up another bed on the ground for his nephew. Upon hearing his approach, Uncle Wayne turned around to face his nephew. He looked at him expectingly.
“I—I got her pregnant,” Eddie choked. He had a build up of tears in the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall at any given moment.
“Oh Eddie,” Uncle Wayne said softly. He looked at his nephew with such sympathy in his eyes. He wasn’t going to yell at him or scold him like his father would have.
Instead, Uncle Wayne brought his nephew over to the couch in the living room. He helped him sit down with a single hand on his back for support. He didn’t want to ask any questions. He didn’t want to overwhelm him, because he probably was feeling an overwhelming sense of various emotions. So he sat quietly and waited for his nephew to talk to him.
Epilogue coming on Wednesday
Summary: As the senator is admitted to a medical facility, the rest of the crew get their new assignment and are informed that the new guards will be arriving soon. With the possibility that the senator won't be awake by the time they leave, Hunter says his last goodbye.
Warning: blood lose and major bodily injuries (wounds, traumatic brain injury, and spinal injury), mentions of surgery and stitches, unconscious patient in medical facility
Pairing: Hunter x Fem!Reader Senator
Type: Short Series
Word Count: 4.2k words
Series Masterlist
The Bad Batch had finally arrived at the nearest medical facility in the city. They were able to make contact with the facility in order to prepare for their arrival, requesting for assistance as soon as they landed. The Marauder came to a slow landing on the platform, lowering the landing gear in the process.
As the ramp lowered, the squad members were extra careful when maneuvering the floating stretcher down to the platform. There were a few medical droids on standby. They directed the crew exactly where they needed to go, leading them through the facility.
Making their way through the hallways and towards the nearest medic, Tech was able to transfer his scans to one of the medical droids which helped them assess her injuries more rapidly. They brought the stretcher into one of the spare rooms, but one of the droids stopped the rest of the crew from entering.
"I apologize," the medical droid beeped. The droid held up a single metal hand. "No visitors will be allowed at this time."
"We aren't visitors; we are the escort. We have been assigned to protect her," Hunter explained to the droid standing in front of him.
"I can assure you: no further harm will come to her," the droid replied. They weren't going to be able to argue with that. So they gave in. The droid was able to step back and close the door in front of them, essentially locking the small squad out.
It felt like hours had passed since they had arrived at the medical facility. They were stationed in the waiting room with a million other civilians. Some sick patients sat in empty seats, voices were heard calling names over the comm, and medical droids helped in assisting people at the front desk.
People kept coming in and out of the doors to the rooms in the back. It varied between doctors, droids, visitors, or patients. Each time, nobody came to call on the small group of clones to give them an update. At least once every hour, Hunter made his way to the front desk to ask the droid if there was any update from the doctors with her. This was now his fifth time coming up.
"I am sorry, clone. I haven't received any message from the doctors about an update," the assistance beeped. The sergeant leaned his arms against the counter, hanging his head low in defeat.
"I understand," Hunter nodded.
"She went into surgery two hours ago and has yet to come out," the droid read from the hologram right in front of them.
"Will...will you just let us know when she comes out of surgery?" Hunter wondered with a glint of hope in his eyes.
"I will notify you," the droid gave a curt nod of agreement.
Making his way back to the row of seats, Hunter planted himself down in slight defeat. He leaned forward to rest his forearms against the tops of his legs, bringing his hands up to clasp together in front of his mouth. He felt lost in his thoughts.
Meanwhile, Wrecker was seated next to him and was snacking on some things that he grabbed from one of the machines in the hallway. He threw a glance towards the weary sergeant sitting beside him. He gave him a rough nudge in his good shoulder.
"Cheer up, sarge." Wrecker encouraged, wearing a broad smile on his face. "The senator will pull through. She's tougher than you think."
"I sure hope you're right, Wrecker."
"The senate should be getting out at this point," Tech recalled almost sorrowfully, having memorized the time stamps of the senator's schedule. The rest of them remained silent.
"Wonder how the vote went," Echo added after the pause.
"Let's hope it was in the senator's favor," Hunter told them. They all seemed to agree with him, nodding their heads in synchronized agreement. All except Crosshair who still didn't care at all for the senator or her precious senate vote.
Another three hours had passed staying in the medical facility. The sound of people talking quiet or walking around the waiting room had turned into a mundane sound that could easily be drowned out. The bright florescent light was straining on the eyes, making everything in the room look bland and drained of color. A strong headache settled in around hour three.
Surprisingly, a medical droid had approached the small squad sitting in a row. The four of them quickly rose to their feet, stepping forward to hear a report from the front desk droid. The droid shuffled back slightly, raising its hands in slight defense.
"The patient is out of surgery," the droid beeped factually. "She is under heavy anesthetics, but you are permitted to go back there now."
"Thank you," Hunter expressed his gratitude. The droid made sure to point the clones in the right direction, giving them the room number just as they began to walk away in the direction.
Navigating the hallways, it didn't take them long before they were able to come across the room. However, upon entering the room, the Bad Batch were met with a distressing sight of a heavily wounded senator laying in bed. Her once neat white dress had been cut for the surgery and was sitting on a nearby chair, still soaked in her blood.
The senator was laying motionless on the bed, hooked up to various monitors to watch her vitals. The color had drained from her face so much that she almost resembled a ghostlike figure. A few stitches had been sown around various injuries including places like her arms, head, and hands.
Unbeknownst to them, underneath her gown, the medical professionals were able to patch the gaping wound in her side. Though what remained was sixteen stitches and major bruises, they were able to save her before she died from blood loss alone. Her internal bleeding injuries required immediate medical surgery in order to fix. According to the doctors, Senator Rayna should be able to make a full recovery as long as she took things easy. They breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing this.
"Besides the internal bleeding, Senator Rayna sustained a traumatic brain injury which resulted in severe nerve damage to her spine in particular," the medical droid explained while reading off the data pad.
Glancing down at her form, Hunter saw the line of stitches drawing from the side of her head and running deep into her hairline. He lowered his hand to stroke some hair out of her face, being mindful of her stitches.
"She may experience changes in her strength, feeling, and mobility." The medical droid had pointed out to them, but none of them really knew what to do with this information. Besides Tech who proceeded to type that information into his data pad.
"It doesn't matter," Hunter reassured the droid standing beside him. He felt a small wave of optimism and his lips tugged into a gentle smile. "What matters is that she's alive and she's going to be okay."
Over the course of the next couple days, Senator Rayna had been admitted into the medical facility and was ordered to remain there until clearance. The Bad Batch chose to stay with the senator the entire time, often resulting in one or two of them falling asleep on the couch in the corner or in the chair beside her bed. They could have gone back to the barracks to rest, but the only one who did that each night was Crosshair.
On the day of the attack, Hunter ended up sending a message over the comm channel to Commander Cody about the incident that occurred. He received the message a few hours later, promising that he'd be there as soon as he could. He also mentioned that he'd be coming with their new transfer order.
Upon hearing about the transfer, Hunter felt his heart once again give way in the depths of his chest. Especially at the prospect of not being able to say goodbye to the senator if she didn't wake up within the next couple days. He desperately hoped that she'd come to sooner rather than later so that he'd at least be able to have that before leaving her indefinitely.
At the given moment, Hunter was the only one in the room because the rest of them decided to grab some lunch in the cafeteria downstairs. He silently sat in the chair right beside her bed, holding her hand gently and stroking the back of it with his thumb. During their rare moments alone, Hunter rarely talked to her and chose to just listen to the sound of her heart monitor beeping steadily. It somehow brought him comfort.
Suddenly, the door to the room had opened unexpectedly. The sergeant quickly pulled his hand out of her grasp, directing his attention towards the door. But Hunter ended up scrambling to stand to his feet upon seeing who walked through the door.
Alongside Commander Cody, Senator Bail Organa and Senator Padme Amidala had joined him in their visit. The door was quietly closed behind them as the three proceed to enter a little further. The sergeant quickly stood at attention, falling right back into protocol.
"Thought it was about time that we paid her a visit," Senator Organa said with a small smile on his face. His eyes fell on the familiar sleeping figure, feeling a slight twinge of pain in his heart at the mere sight.
Slowly, Padme made her way around the other side of the bed so that she stood beside her dearest friend. She pulled her hand out of her shawl, bringing it up to brush her hair back. She smiled down at her softly.
"How is she doing?" Padme inquired, looking up at Hunter for an answer.
"She's...certainly a fighter," Hunter replied rather slowly. He was slightly taken back by her upfront question, but she knew that he had been beside her during her whole recovery.
"Always has been," Padme chuckled softly. "She's the most stubborn person I know."
"You've got that right," Hunter let out a small scoff. He opted to change the conversation. He looked up at the two senators. "How did the vote go? We didn't get to hear the results."
Instead of providing a verbal answer, Bail and Padme had exchanged a brief glance towards each other. She shook her head in denial, silently indicating that they hadn't gotten enough votes to pass her treaty which they counted as a severe loss to the war campaign.
"Ah, I'm sorry to hear about that. I know how hard she worked on that speech and how badly she wanted to be there for the vote," Hunter replied sorrowfully. "I--I just wish I had been able to get her there for it," Hunter added.
"Don't blame yourself," Padme encouraged him. She made sure to catch his gaze so she could get her point across to him. "Nobody could have done a better job at protecting her than your squad. And for that, we are eternally grateful."
"Speaking of your job," Commander Cody interrupted them with a brief clear of the throat. He held up a piece of paper. "Your new transfer orders for you and your squad."
Hesitantly, Hunter took the piece of paper from the commander. He opened it up, reading the exact location where they'd be heading. His mind fell blank as the reality of the situation began to settle in. His gaze grew hazy.
"You'll be heading to the frontlines on Kashyyk. It's getting pretty messy over there. Nothing your squad can't handle though, right?" Commander Cody tried to make the situation lighthearted.
The commander's words only fell on deaf ears. The dull aching feeling in his chest was growing more unbearable with each passing second. He found himself staring directly at the sleeping senator laying on the bed, thinking about the thought of finally departing from her service. The only issue being that he didn't want to depart from her.
"She'll be just fine," Commander Cody reassured him. He took notice of the way the sergeant didn't tear his gaze away from the senator, thinking it was a little out of character for a clone soldier. "Her new guards will relieve you of your duty as early as tomorrow," Commander Cody added.
"Tomorrow?" Hunter was pulled out of his train of thought. He turned his head to look directly at the commander now.
"Yes. Tomorrow," Cody said slowly, studying his surprised reaction cautiously. "Your squad can leave as soon as they come."
The sergeant lowered his gaze to stare down at the floor; his eyes flickering back and forth in conflict. His hands subconsciously flexed at his sides a few times. He wouldn't be able to go against his new orders; he was a soldier and soldiers follow order through.
"I...I...copy that," Hunter scrambled for words. He had never sounded more unsure of himself, which made the commander even more confused.
"Is something wrong?" Cody inquired. He took a single step forward, but the sergeant was quick to move away from him.
"No sir," Hunter replied cooly. He straightened his back in posture, standing at attention like soldiers do. "I'll be sure to report to the rest of the squad about our new orders."
With a quick salute, Hunter made his exit from the room and left the others behind to stay. He wandered through the long hallways of the facility, thoughts overrun in the midst of his head. He didn't know what to think, but he certainly didn't want to leave without saying goodbye. He just needed to opportunity to do it.
The dark blue night sky was almost never covered with the sparkled specks of white starlight given the amount of lights radiating from the city below. The water in the portholes shimmered by the glow of the bright colored lights coming from neon signs along the street. The soft sound of pattering rain fell over the entire stretch of the city, landing on closed windows and drenching everything in sight.
Besides the sergeant and the senator, the recovery room was empty once again. The soft beeping from the heart monitor became the only sound in the room with the occasional rumble of thunder coming from outside. A lamp beside the bed was flicked on and was the only source of light in the room.
At the given moment, Hunter was sitting in that same chair from earlier. His hand was clasped in her own in hopes of providing her some comfort that he was still beside her. His eyes scanned her face carefully, searching for the slightest sign of movement. But nothing happened.
An overwhelming surge of emotions began to swell in his chest, which had been threatening to burst over the past couple days. Hanging his head low, he couldn't hold it back any longer. The tears swelled in the corners of his eyes. He cried quietly to himself.
"I--I'm sorry," Hunter choked over his words. He held her hand so gently in fear of causing her any pain or discomfort. "I'm sorry...I wasn't there to protect you. I should have d--done more for you."
Lifting his head, Hunter's face had grown red from his own tears. They dripped down the length of his nose, falling into his lap. He had never felt this overcome with emotions before; he couldn't even remember the last time he cried.
"Y--You trusted me," Hunter continued. He spoke to her with an open heart. "And I let you down. For that, I am so sorry."
Slowly, Hunter took his hand out of her grasp. He rose to his own feet, towering over the side of the bed. He wiped his tears away with the back of his hand, sniffling up the rest of them to the best of his ability.
"W-We ship out tomorrow. Your new escort will be here when you wake up," Hunter nodded. He fiddled with the gloves covering his hands. "So this will have to do for our goodbye."
With some hesitation, Hunter ended up leaning down over her. He pressed his lips against the crown of her head, still being mindful of those stitches that were still healing. He kissed her head sweetly, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to find this unsatisfying closure for himself. Drawing away from her, Hunter took one last glance over her features. He pulled away for final time and began walking away.
That was when it happened.
The sergeant froze in his place upon hearing the sound of the heart monitor spiking unexpectedly. He quickly spun around on his feet to face her again. His eyes watched the heart monitor resume beeping at the normal pace, but when his eyes fell on her figure, he saw her finger twitching at her side. He took a hesitant step towards her.
For a moment, the muscles in her face had contorted slightly. He wasn't sure if this meant she was in pain, if she was fighting, or if it was just uncontrollable reflexes. It didn't really matter though because he was by her side within a split second. He called her name softly in hopes of coaxing her back into a conscious state.
Finally, Y/n's eyes had fluttered open ever so slightly. The confusion was already starting to take over her mind because she didn't know where she was or who she was with. She tried sitting up in her place, but found very little strength to even lift herself up further on the pillows.
"Just relax. Don't strain yourself," Hunter's voice spoke from right beside her. He placed his hand on her shoulder, keeping her body back against the pillows.
Upon hearing that familiar voice, Y/n was able to turn her head to look directly at him. Though her eyes were heavily hooded, Y/n could make out his distinctive figure in the form of his tattoo and his red bandana. She lifted her hand to cup the side of his scruffy cheek and he closed his eyes to relish the feeling. Her lips tugged into a warm smile.
"Hunter," Y/n breathed softly.
"I'm right here," Hunter comforted her.
"I knew you'd save me."
During the early hours of the morning, the Bad Batch were working tirelessly to make final preparations before their departure in less than an hour. They packed all of their equipment away in the barracks, carrying it back to their ship and loading it all up.
Around that same time, the Coruscant Guard had arrived at the medical facility to relieve the sergeant of his nightly obligation of staying with the senator. He was quiet when dismissing himself from her company, leaving the room to rejoin his brothers at the ship.
The landing platform was rather chaotic and unorganized. While Tech was undergoing some last minute checks on the ship's log, Wrecker and Crosshair were tasked with loading the crates into the ship. Meanwhile, Hunter and Echo brought more things from the barracks and left them right outside the ship to be brought inside. And they had just got the last of their things together.
"Look who showed up," Echo let out a small huff of disbelief. His eyes looking off into the short distance of the platform.
When Hunter turned around in his place, he was a little more than surprised to see the senator herself being escorted by her new guards. Given the extent of her injuries, Y/n was confined to a wheelchair temporarily until her injuries were fully healed or until her strength returned. One of her guards was pushing her towards the ship, stopping only a short ways away.
"What are you doing here?" Hunter wondered with a curious smirk on his lips. He crossed his arms across the stretch of his chest.
"You didn't think I'd let you all leave without saying goodbye?" Y/n asked playfully. She smiled up at him just as the other members began to join beside him. "And...I just wanted to say thank you...to all of you," Y/n said while looking over each of them.
The Bad Batch had completed their mission objection of keeping the senator safe at all costs. They would continue to have a 100% success rate if that even mattered to them now. It was a different mission from all the others that they were used to, but sometimes, change can be a good thing.
One at a time, Y/n said her goodbyes to each respective clone in a memorable way. For Wrecker, he had knelt down beside her and gave her a gentle hug. He was still worried for her injuries, but the gesture still brought a smile to her face. With Tech, he only provided a firm handshake which was fitting for his non-emotional personality. For Echo, he saluted the senator in the same respective way he did when they first met each other.
For Crosshair, there was no difference between their first meeting and their final departure. His feelings of hatred towards her hadn't changed at all. He looked down at her with a blank face. But the senator ended up surprising him when she said:
"Thank you, Crosshair."
The word must have gotten out that he was the one who took out the assassin in the end. So, for their goodbye, the senator simply thanked him for his services despite knowing how much he hated her. She sent him a weak smile.
Finally, the only one left was the sergeant. He took his place right in front of her, dropping down onto a single knee. There was a brief moment of silence surrounding them. The two of them felt so overwhelmed with emotion that it was hard to find words to express themselves. And tears gathered in the corner of both of their eyes.
"So this is goodbye? I'll never see you again?" Y/n asked him. He saw how the tears began to stream down her face so he reached up to brush a few away with his thumb.
"No," Hunter shook his head gently. "If I remember correctly, I still have to take you to the beach."
Upon hearing this, Y/n breathed a small laugh which he ended up mirroring. She gazed at him with the brightest smile and with eyes that sparkled with love. Unbeknownst to the guards behind her, Y/n was able to take his hand in her own for a brief moment. She slipped him a small device, hoping that it went unnoticed by her guards.
"You've got a deal," Y/n smiled. He wrapped his fingers around the small circular device. He rose to his feet slowly and made sure to keep the device out of sight. He pocketed it swiftly. "Until next time, sarge."
Moving to the side, Hunter took a brief second to stand directly in front of one of her new guards. He stared at the clone trooper with a stern look in his eyes. He watched the guard straighten his back in posture slightly as if he was feeling the weight of his gaze and had grown nervous under it.
"Keep her safe," Hunter ordered. "At all costs."
"Y-Yes sir."
Satisfied by that answer, Hunter issued his departure from the platform. He began walking back towards the ship with his brothers beside him. They climbed the ramp slowly before closing the latch behind them.
Only a minute later, the engines of the ship activated with a swell of energy and power. The wings of the ship lowered to the side and the heavy vessel lifted off the surface of the platform. The landing gear headed back into their ports and the nose of the ship turned in the direction of the skyline.
The Marauder had just begun it's next journey, traveling to the next planet for a brand new mission. The Bad Batch ended up spending over three months on Coruscant, which is the longest they ever stayed in one place at a time.
With their leave, Y/n had handed the sergeant a hologram device as something to remember her by. It was just a simple hologram of herself, but it was something that he cherished deeply from that day forward. On the bottom of the device, Y/n also left her comm channel in case he ever wanted to reach out to her.
Over the course of the next two years, Hunter and Y/n called each other on numerous occasions when neither of them were busy with senate business or faraway missions. Those rare moments alone together reminded them of their time spent together, becoming one of the best pastimes during solitude.
As the war continued to wage across the galaxy, the demands for a sergeant and a senator were becoming more prominent. Their once regular calls suddenly dwindled into months of silence at a time. Despite this, their feelings towards one another never changed. Both of them secretly dreamed of what life would look like after the war, picturing the dream of a much-awaited reunion with one another. And something told them that it was good to have dreams.
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Can this short summary rejog anyone’s memory? I know it’s a long shot but I’m having problem remembering...
Summary: Peter Parker’s childhood best friend is an artist, she paints and draws like an expert despite being blind. When an opportunity arises for her to undergo a surgery to give her back her eyesight, it takes Peter to convince her to actually go through with it…
Summary: When two royal family’s decide to conjoin their countries, they arrange a marriage between their eldest children. Once the two royals meet, it takes a lot of convincing before they are ready to begin their reign together…
Warning: sexual tension, flirting, lots of kissing
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
Type: The Royal Family Series
MASTERLIST
The spring day opens with the same gentle pace as the new blooms. The winter time had passed in its somber majesty. It had only brought skies of richly marbled greys and trees so elegant in their bare beauty. Those cold days for calmness and reflection are waning now. And a new spring energy will rise.
Keep reading
just gonna leave this here
I love that the names Diana and Beth are both name choices because those were the first and middle name (Diana Beth) I had picked out for my what would have been child that I miscarried in March (I wasn’t too far along to know), I started tearing up a bit when I saw both names, but I would say Diana for baby Munson’s name! As much as I love Beth, someone has a series (I can’t find it currently) called Beth and it’s a dad!Eddie fanfiction, so my vote is Diana (I know my vote doesn’t really matter, but I just thought I would put that out there)
First of all, I am so sorry about your miscarriage. I can’t imagine what that must be like and it genuinely makes my heart ache hearing that.
Second of all, you do matter! I read every single comment and inbox submission (I might not be able to reply to them all but I still read them). I love hearing from you guys and your opinion matters.
Finally, I am hesitant to use the name Beth because of the pre-existing series with this name. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m stealing their idea if that makes sense. Thank you so much though! I will consider using Diana for sure. Sending love your way ❤️
Why I Stopped Writing:
Many of you know me as webslingerholland. My tumblr page was very popular from 2016-2018. My best stories were Baby Holland and The Royal Family. I wrote for Tom Holland, Peter Parker, Harrison Osterfield, Sam Holland, and Harry Holland. I had millions of followers and thousands of likes on each post.
It wasn’t until October 15, 2018 that it all went downhill. My life changed dramatically to the point we’re I was forced to leave my home. It was a painful time for me. I was full of anger and frustration. And I made the mistake of deleting my tumblr and all my stories on it. To this day, this has been my biggest regret.
I wish I kept those stories. I wish I kept those memories. I wish I could reread all the comments. I wish I could remember my followers. I wish I could turn to my inbox to see my latest messages from fans. I wish…I wish…I wish.
But I can’t. It’s gone now.
I came back in 2020. I made a new account under the same username. Some of the original creators found me again. Some of my old followers were still around. I found that a lot of people had been asking about me over the years. I can’t justify why I deleted everything. There is no excuse. And I seriously regret it.
I started rewriting my stories, occasionally finding some copyrighted versions on different platforms. I was doing well again until…
I met someone.
We started seeing each more often and we started dating a couple months later. I was finally happy again. I didn’t need to turn to my writing to find happiness. I found it with him. And so I stopped writing. I still have my account here. I might even still add to it from time to time. I might come back to write stories again. I might do a lot of things.
Last Friday was the three year anniversary of the worst day of my life. I was feeling really low, but my boyfriend had the whole day planned out to keep my mind off the bad memories. And at the end of the day, he got down on one knee and proposed to me. I obviously said yes.
I’ll never close the door to tumblr. I’ll always leave it open for the possibilities. I actually am still writing on Wattpad. I’ve found a lot of joy in that because I originally started on that platform. What’s important to know is that im still here. I still open the app every day. I just don’t post stories anymore…at least, not right now.
But I’m happy. I have someone who makes me happy. I’m doing well in college. I’ve gotten closer to my family. I’m getting married in the spring. It’s a good life.
And so I write this as a little life update. I doubt many people will read it. I don’t think I have as many followers as I did back in the day. But to those who do still follow me and check up on me, this was for you.
Thank you for everything. Thank you for the love. Thank you for the comments. Thank you for the likes. Thank you for the follows. Thank you for making me happy for so many years. I appreciate everything you did for me. I love you so much!
Freddy Carter and Kit Young at ASOCAS Con May 2023
Hi Love! Im so happy that your back and I hope your doing well; I remember being obsessed with the Royal Family series. It was by far the best royal!tom AU I can't wait to read it again and I just hope your happy and sending you bunch of love💖💖💖
Thank you so very much! I am doing so much better now that I am out of recovery, which only took like a year. I am excited to keep writing the story by making it better and adding more scenes.