Came Home From Work In Such A Dog Mindset And I Had One Single Drink And It Made It So Much More Intensified…
Came home from work in such a dog mindset and I had one single drink and it made it so much more intensified… then I sat on the floor and he petted my head… then he gave me belly rubs… then scratched… then kissed… then spat in my mouth… then choked me… then gave me scars… then punched me… basically I got (consensually) abused and I loved it and took it like a boss. (All I actively did was lay down and follow orders (up, roll over, down…..) … maaajor need 2 live like this forever)
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i spend most of my time waiting on a text from you
I'm not even gonna lie. I think kidnapping would fix us. Having someone else control everything again, being hurt, things done against my will, being treated as a lesser.
Tbh it doesn't even need to be kidnapping, just any kind of abuse/control hits (heh.) the spot, kidnapping is just the best possible outcome.
I can't even sleep right anymore because i need someone telling me what to do. If I knew how to seek it out, I would. We used to be able to find anyone like this but now we have no idea. Someone put me out of my misery.
I'm trying so hard to keep you here with me, but you just keep choosing other people over me. If I could treat you like dirt and make you cut off everyone you talk to like this, I would. If we didn't care so much about you, I'd order you to stop doing whatever you're doing and focus on me. It feels like you're taunting me, telling me you're going to others to seek out this kind of treatment. Maybe I should start talking to other people before you, and show you how it feels to be the last picked dog. The runt of the litter. Dumb mutt.
Need somebody to order me to sleep. To make sure I do actually go to sleep. To berate me and degrade me when I don't. Make me feel like a bad dog for not obeying. To reinforce obeying orders. To train me harder. Each time I disobey, the punishment gets worse. Mrmmm.
