No Wonder I Want 2 Cut Cuz Of U Lol. When U Go Off On Ur Own And Don't Think About Me Or How I Feel,

i dont even necessarily need sex, i just really need to be submissive to someone. just to let them tell me what to do so i can switch off my stupid puppy brain for a while, just for them.

to be there on my knees while they do work, not even fully paying attention to my pathetic whines as i solely focus on them and them alone. a rough fucking would be appreciated but i dont need it. being on my knees is enough.

I’d rather see you dead than with someone else.

Vero/Kit . 21 . It/They/He

Autistic traumagenic did system with bpd. This is a blog for us to keep our stuff on. Maybe make friends idk. Mostly Vero probably.

Not going to censor anything we say (as this is going to act as a sort of "open communication line" as we don't have good internal communication), but will tag appropriately.

DNI: under 18s, gatekeepers, "disorder police", cringe haters

BYF: This blog will contain NSFW, trauma-sharing, fictional depictions of sensitive topics, self-harm discussions, favourite person discussions. Probably more, will try to add accordingly.

Frequent fronters:

Vero: host. Subhuman dogthing who has intense source ties (delusional.) and needs intense therapy. Copes with his source which is a fictional world we created.

93: autism holder. Likes webcore, viruscore, and old technology. Interact with care.

Coda: persecutor. Not good, lets put it that way. Usually only around if Vero is around.

i miss him. he doesnt understand how attached i am to him

Did not drink. Need to drink if we get like this again. And it will be blackout drunk. I can't handle him even saying that thing's name.

Why am I so anxious. He called me good boy after I joined him, then I went to go wash up before bed, and every few seconds I got pangs through my body like I could sense he was saying stuff. Obviously he wasn't. But my head kept saying things like "come back, puppy" "You're not making owner very happy" "very disobedient. You don't want me, do you?" and I had to physically hold myself from getting my phone to check if he was messaging me. I got really scared. I don't like being like this.

I'm not even gonna lie. I think kidnapping would fix us. Having someone else control everything again, being hurt, things done against my will, being treated as a lesser.

Tbh it doesn't even need to be kidnapping, just any kind of abuse/control hits (heh.) the spot, kidnapping is just the best possible outcome.

I can't even sleep right anymore because i need someone telling me what to do. If I knew how to seek it out, I would. We used to be able to find anyone like this but now we have no idea. Someone put me out of my misery.

He really just makes my good days worse. I don't know if it's on purpose or if he's just oblivious. I burned myself for him and he doesn't even care. No praise, no degrading, no disappointment. Nothing. It feels like everything I do is all for nowt. I just want him to fucking look at me. He's lucky he doesn't live near me.

I need a haircut. Like desperately need a haircut. But my hair is what makes me feel like me. It reminds me of who I am. It's my closest connection to source. I hope somebody else in this head takes it into their hands cuz as long as I'm here, it's just gonna get more and more out of control.

Work is reallyyyy testing me rn tbh. Supposed to be moving to a different part of the store and I had a major breakdown at the store manager about the state of staffing for my current department today and she tells me "I don't think it's fair that you say we're understaffed when I've fixed all the issues." No, because I wouldn't be upset if the issues had all been fixed. Why doesn't your management call no-shows when they don't show? Why are our schedules only done 3 days in advance when it used to be 3 weeks? Why do we not have managers (or, y'know, ANY senior management) on backshifts?

She also was insinuating she wouldn't move me to the new department because of this one breakdown. Over team issues. When I'm moving into an individual, NON-TEAM based department. No girl, you WILL, and I will be HAPPIER. I get she wasn't feeling great today but girl, pull ur finger out.