Itty Bitty Waists Are A Very Prominent Feature In The House Of Black

“Letter to my 13 year old self”

But it’s actually James Potter.

Sirius: but they’ll take a man that can’t read!

Remus: I can read!

Remus: I can read.. just not very well..

Effie: *telling stories of baby James, baby Marlene and baby Peter, and their childhoods to their friends*

Effie: “mamí my phone is gonna die, the card isn’t working” and I’d ask everytime “are you with anybody?”

Effie: cause I always— moms wanna know — is my son alone or does he have a friend that he’s at least with? And it was always:

Effie: “yeah, Marls and Pete”. So there was always this Marls and Pete who was always with him. And I thought “thank goodness for Marlene and Peter”.

Barty, Dorcas & Evan: *walking into the Gryffindor common room*

Remus: *with his face in his hands with his shoulders moving up and down*

James: *on the ground laughing loudly*

Peter and Marlene: *with their hands on their knees, laughing loudly*

Dorcas: …what happened?

Remus: Marlene was trying to see if she could get on her broom inside-

Evan: uh oh

Remus: and she almost hit Peter with it and James said duck and they both quacked.

Barty: I’m just realising that you and I are actually quite similar

James: I can’t believe you just say that.. that’s so mean..

Remus: [after Sirius apologised for the prank] I mean.. he apologised, I should forgive him.. right?

Peter: absolutely not!

Lily: 1. Don't pick up the phone, You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone.

Mary: 2. Don't let him in, You have to kick him out again.

James: 3. Don't be his friend, You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the mornin'.

Marlene: And if you're under him, you ain't gettin' over him.

Sirius “stalks everyone” Black

Remus “hasn’t posted since 2016” Lupin

Marlene: *bitching about another quidditch player that got best player because her and James got injured*

Marlene: I hate that bitch

James: [who has a concussion] you want her on a ditch???

Marlene: no, I said “I hate that bitch” ..but that too

If your angst ship doesn’t fit:

“I can’t love you, anymore” vs “I can’t love you any more”

Then is it even that good of an angst ship?

My new favourite headcanon that I made up, last night when I was supposed to be sleeping:

It’s that Pete made up all the marauders nicknames while he was high and the conversation went a little something like..

Remus: Pete how much did you have?

Pete: [very clearly high out of his mind] .. ‘othing.

Sirius: oh you’re absolutely wasted

Pete: nuhhh..

James: cmon Pete, let’s get you to bed

Pete: no!!.. you heard did ya?

James: sorry?

Pete: that people make nicknames.. like moonguy over there.. [lazily points his hand over to Remus’ direction]

James & Sirius: [laughing] moonguy??

Remus: oh my god.

Pete: I mean y’all.. don’t talk

Sirius: ..we can’t talk..?

Pete: yea.. you- have pads on your feet.. so you- *gags*

James: oh Padfoot come help me bring him to the bathroom *smirks*

Sirius: ..I hate you

Remus: Not so funny anymore is it?

Pete: oka.. moon..y

Sirius: ..moony..!

James: I like Moony better

Remus: I hate you all.

Sirius: *blows a kiss to Remus*

James: *helping Peter get to the bathroom*

Pete: why..?

Prongs: pardon?

Sirius: what’s he saying?

James: uhh, I don’t know

Pete: you have no..

James: who? ..Me or Sirius?

Pete: both.. you

James: what don’t I have?

Pete: noo uhh. no, no collar-

Pete: I see deers with collars in zoos..

James: well I don’t want to wear a collar, that’s for wild deer

Sirius: *walks in*

Pete: you should get a.. met.. ual one..

James: metal?

Sirius: a what?

Pete: Like a..

Sirius: a metal collar? What like a prongs? Aren’t they for dogs..-

Pete: prongs..! *hugs James*

Sirius: oh! Ha Prongs!! *hugs Pete & James*

Remus: huh?

Sirius: Pete came up with another nickname!

Remus: Hold up we’re not actually gonna use them? Are we??

Sirius: of course we are.. Moony

Remus: I hate you

James: *says from the bathroom* So Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot and, apparently, I’m Prongs.

Remus: what’s Peter going to be?

James: well his Animagus is a rat so we can make something out of that-

Sirius: ..rattail..!

Remus: rat’s tails look like worms kinda.. or maybe-

Sirius: wormtail!!

Pete: nuh.. uh. *still over in the toilet*

James: it’s perfect.

And that’s how they got their nicknames, thank you for listening