Uh Oh. Looks Like Someone Might Have A Virus…

I now understand what it is to be alive :)

Friend like Venom…

The boys are gonna be alright

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

Imagine making me relive every moment of past me when the rebornica au and designs were very popular ;-; and all that fanfic and fanart

Forgot to post this here but this is the PurplePhone animatic I made a while back. 

Hey if anyone wants to download any of the fnaf games without supporting Scott, here are the links:

Fnaf 1: https://steamunlocked.net/five-nights-at-freddys-free-download/

Fnaf 2: https://steamunlocked.net/five-nights-at-freddys-2-free-download/

Fnaf 3: https://steamunlocked.net/five-nights-at-freddys-3-free-download/

Fnaf 4 (Contains both regular game and Halloween Edition): https://steamunlocked.net/five-nights-at-freddys-4-free-download/

Sister Location: https://steamunlocked.net/five-nights-at-freddy-s-sister-location-free-download/

Pizzeria Simulator and UCN are still free on Steam. And last I checked, Help Wanted might be too powerful to run on p.c. I tried it on my laptop and wouldn't work.

Pause. Think about this (amazing video, obsessed with the snake facts and the delivery of them). Imagine if you were living your life then an unknowable entity scooped you up and started very very excitedly ranting about how amazing a creature like you is. It loudly goes on and on, getting more and more excited. You try to wiggle away to no avail. But it’s not hurting you, it’s being very gentle as it holds you. It’s just so happy it finally found a creature like you!! So excited!! And it goes on about how beautiful you look and random facts about your species!!

And then you’re finally allowed to slip away, you are let go back into your day-to-day life. The experience was a little frightening, but you are completely unharmed and safe. You return to what you were doing before.

Golden Horses

Post Endgame ( No-one is dead AU )

Tony has decided to adopt Peter. Morgan starts to notice something between her dad and the Sorcerer Supreme. And so do a few of the other Avengers.

(They all have a party to celebrate defeating Thanos. Tony can’t help but smile at Stephen bonding with Morgan.)

(I love Pepper to bits, no shade to Pepperony)

-x-

“I’m holding you responsible if anything gets broken, Peter!” Tony pointed towards the boy, “Pepper will kill me if anything happens to Morgan.”

Peter nodded as Morgan clung to his hand, “I promise nothing bad will happen, Mr. Stark.”

Tony was about to comment on Peter calling him ‘Mr. Stark’. They’d already spoken about him calling him 'dad’. But before he could speak, Morgan was dragging Peter off further into the Avengers Compound.

Natasha nudged Tony’s shoulder, “I see he’s still calling you Mr. Stark.” she mocked with a smile.

“I don’t think he’ll believe it’s true until the adoption papers are finished.”

“So it’s official?” she questioned as he walked over to one of his workbenches.

“Just need to speak with May a few more times. Then yeah.” he fiddled with a few electrical parts scattered around the desk. His eyes moved towards the photo of him and Peter with the Stark Internship upside down in their hands. He couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on his face.

Natasha walked over and eyed the photo. But what really caught her attention was another photo, she raised her eyebrow as she picked up the frame, “When was this taken?”

Tony quickly grabbed the photo, “Oh, this? Nothing. It’s nothing.” he placed it face down on the table, stepping away from the desk.

A smirk found its way onto the woman’s face as she turned slowly towards Tony, picking back up the photo in the process, “Oh, really?”

“Look, it’s just some stupid photo that Pete took.”

“Well it must mean something to you.”

It was a photo of Tony and Stephen hugging after they defeated Thanos.

Just after Tony had snapped his fingers, Stephen was by his side telling him that he could save his life with the power of the Time Stone. Tony had to remain in his astral form for a few weeks whilst Stephen worked. He created something called the 'Infinity Reactor’. Using the technology of Tony’s reactor, Stephen created a life-saving mechanism by infusing a part of the Time Stone into it. It kept him stable whilst his body healed.

As Stephen gave him the reactor, finally releasing Tony from the astral dimension, he had the biggest smile on his face and pulled the sorcerer into a hug. Surprisingly he returned it. And that’s when a flash had lightened up the room. Peter had never ran quicker.

“It seems to be working.” Natasha nodded towards the reactor within Tony’s chest. A swirl of green flowed through it every now and then.

“I didn’t quite believe it when Strange told me about the Infinity Reactor.” he sighed, “When he showed me the plans I called him crazy. And when he finally gave me this.” his hand rested on it, “I was shocked. Shocked that he managed to build a reactor on his own by following my plans.”

“Sounds like somebody’s falling for the wizard.” Natasha teased as she placed the photo down.

Tony’s hand dropped from the reactor, “No. No. I’m just grateful for everything he’s done.”

“Grateful.” Clint chuckled as he walked into the lab, “Looking very grateful there, Stark.” he nodded towards the photo.

“So I’m not allowed to thank someone by hugging them?”

“No.” both Natasha and Clint said.

“Yeah, definitely not.” Scott said as he entered.

“Is there something going on that I don’t know about? Why is everyone here today?” Tony questioned with utter confusion. Suddenly, Scott had to step out of the way as a familiar young girl came running towards Tony, “Hey, Morgan. What’s wrong?” he asked as he picked the girl up.

“Peter broke something.” she whispered as Peter arrived.

“Traitor.” he said before looking at Tony, “It was only a glass!”

Tony groaned, “This just keeps getting better.” he muttered, “Look. Strange is-”

“Do you love the wizard?” Morgan asked, innocently.

Everyone did their best to stop smiling.

“Wh-What?” he looked at his daughter.

“Peter told me that you love Doctor Strange.”

Tony immediately glared at the boy, “I er…” Peter cleared his throat, “I think Aunt May needs me. For… Something…” he took a step back.

Clint placed a hand on the kid’s shoulder, “You took the photo, right?”

Peter folded his arms, “Wh-What photo?”

Natasha grabbed it and handed it to him, “This one.” she said.

“Oh… I must’ve done by accident.”

“Yeah. Accident.” Scott nodded.

“Whilst we’re all jumping to conclusions I’m gonna spoil the ending. No. I’m not in love with Strange.” Tony spoke up.

“Nobody said 'in love’, Tony.” Natasha replied.

“So you do love him?!” Morgan asked, excited.

“You’re supposed to be on my side!” Tony responded.

Morgan was fascinated by Strange’s magic. He had shown her butterflies appearing out of thin air and flying ponies made out of orange dust. She loved it when Stephen showed up to the compound, which he tended to do quite often nowadays. He’d always bring a small gift for her. And Tony becomes even more grateful after every visit.

But it wasn’t just the magic and gifts that Morgan loved about Stephen. He was just generally caring and always there to listen to her stories. She was happy that he saved her dad. And just because she was young, she wasn’t stupid. She could see that there was something between her dad and the wizard.

“So you love him. But… You’re not in love with him?” Scott tried to work it out, “It’s okay, Mr. Stark. It takes time.”

“Why is everyone against me?!” Tony complained, “Doctor Strange is-”

“Doctor Strange is what?”

“Oh, for f…” Tony stopped himself from swearing, knowing that he had already taught Morgan the word 'shit’, “I was going to say… erm. Doctor Strange is an excellent doctor!”

“Is that a compliment, Stark?” Stephen asked, “I didn’t know you were capable.”

Everyone inwardly cringed at the obvious tension between the two.

Morgan looked over at Stephen, “Daddy loves yo-”

“Loves the… Arc reactor you made! That’s why I called you an excellent doctor!”

“Stark…” Clint muttered, “Your sweat is gonna cause a flood.”

-x-

Morgan sat on the couch next to Stephen off to the side.

The sorcerer had opened up a portal to the Avengers Tower, allowing everyone at the compound to step through. They were all due to meet the rest of the Avengers for a little 'get-together’.

Tony had called it a 'get-together’… But really it was a big party to celebrate the one year anniversary of defeating Thanos.

Everyone was there. Including the Guardians, Happy, Fury, Hill, T'Challa, Danvers, Harley, Bucky - Everyone.

Tony had promised not to get drunk to set a good example for his daughter and son.

“Can you make ponies?” Morgan asked Stephen, “Please?”

Stephen nodded with a smile as he waved his hands, orange lights illuminated the air in front of them. Using his free hand, he handed a small plush toy of a horse. A replica of the ones in the sky.

Morgan giggled as she clutched the toy tightly before she placed it next to her. Her arms were around the wizard, making him tense up, “Thank you.” she said.

-x-

“She likes him.” Natasha nodded towards the pair on the couch.

Tony looked over and saw Morgan hugging Strange. His heart swelled at the sight.

“You should talk to him, Tony.” she suggested as she took a sip from her drink.

“I-”

“Don’t bullshit me, Stark.” she cut him off, “Everyone can see it. Trust me. He wouldn’t have saved you if he didn’t feel the same way.”

He hated it when she was right.

“You think so?” he asked with slight hope.

“Those fourteen million realities he lived through must’ve made him fall for you hard.” she said, watching Stephen and Morgan laugh among themselves in the far corner of the room.

“You people make me sick…” a mutter came from Pietro as he walked by.

Tony and Natasha laughed, “You love us.” Tony winked. A smile appeared on Pietro’s face as he continued on, towards Wanda, Clint and Vision.

“Oh, Mr Stark. I looove you.” Stephen said behind him, “Take me home and have your way with me.”

“Loki.” Tony warned.

Loki laughed as he transformed back. He smirked as he walked away towards Thor and Bruce.

Shaking his head, Tony mentioned, “Remind me why we let him in here?”

“Thor and Stephen vouched for him.”

“God knows why…” he mumbled before his eyes landed back on Stephen and Morgan.

“Close your jaw, Tony. It looks weird.” Natasha smiled. Tony quickly bit his lip before he downed the rest of his drink, “I thought you weren’t getting drunk tonight?”

“I’m not.”

“That’s your fourth drink.”

“Shhh… I’m stressed.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, leaning against the bar. A bright orange light caused Natasha to look over at Stephen, too. He was making a giant shield above him and Morgan, the young girl was clearly excited.

The woman could clearly see the look in Tony’s eyes, “You deserve to be happy, Tony. And you can see how comfortable Morgan is with Stephen.”

Tony turned to quickly pour himself another drink, “I’m gonna talk to him. But I need another drink for this.”

“Such a good role model.” Nat teased.

“This is necessary.” he nodded before drinking. He slammed the glass down onto the bar before clearing his throat, “Okay. Okay. Wish me luck.”

“Have faith, Stark.” Natasha said, “It’ll work out. Who could say no to Iron Man?”

“You. You could say no to Iron Man.” he said.

She shrugged, “I guess.”

-x-

“-And Peter let me wear his old spider suit!” Morgan exclaimed, happily.

“Really?” Stephen asked with a smile.

She nodded, “It was a bit big. But don’t tell daddy.” a finger came up to her mouth, “Shh.”

Stephen winked, bringing his finger up to his mouth, “My lips are sealed. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Pinky promise?” she held out her hand.

He nodded, “Pinky promise.”

Giggling, she hugged her horse.

“Keeping secrets, are we?” Tony asked as he approached.

“Sorry, Tony. Can’t tell you.” Stephen leaned back, “We pinky promised.” The cloak of levitation quickly moved away from Stephen to rest on Tony’s back instead.

“Come on, Cloakie. You can tell me.” Tony said.

“Don’t you dare.” Morgan glared at the cloak.

Stephen chuckled, “The girl has spoken, Cloakie. You don’t want to feel her wrath.”

“Why is everyone against me?” Tony faked offence as he sat down next to Stephen, “I can see I’m not loved.”

You are.

Stephen gulped hard.

“How could you betray me like this, Cloakie?” Tony asked as the cloak flew off him and floated in front of the three.

“Cloakie is my best friend. He wouldn’t tell any secrets!” Morgan announced.

“I thought I was your best friend!” Stephen exclaimed.

“You can be my best friend, too.” she said, hugging the horse tighter.

“Three against one?” Tony said as he put an arm around Stephen’s shoulders, “That doesn’t seem fair. I think we should rethink teams here.”

“Tony.” Stephen said, already comfortable with the arm around his shoulders, “No matter what team Morgan is on. You know she will win.”

Tony sighed, “Can’t disagree with that.” his eyes then moved to the golden horses that were still running around in the air, “Why do you share your magic with Morgan and not me?”

“Because I’m the best.” Morgan whispered with a smirk.

“Because you’re the best.” Stephen agreed, nodding.

Tony hadn’t realised that he was smiling wide. He felt his heart warm as his arm tightened around the sorcerer’s shoulders. Stephen made Morgan happy which made him happy too. Tony felt like being with Stephen was the only way forward.

Natasha suddenly appeared, “Hey, Morgan.” she smiled, “Why don’t we go and show Hawkeye your new toy?”

Morgan’s eyes lit up at the mention of 'Hawkeye’. She nodded eagerly before looking over at her dad with pleading eyes, “Go for it, sweetheart.” Tony smiled, warmly.

Morgan quickly jumped from the couch, horse in one hand as she gripped Natasha’s hand. The cloak flew towards Morgan and wrapped snugly around her neck. Nat looked over her shoulder at Tony as they walked away. The mechanic mouthed 'Thank you’, Nat nodded in response.

Tony suddenly stood as the magic in the air faded away. He offered a hand to Stephen, “Lets go outside where it’s a bit more quiet.” he suggested, “I erm… I have something I need to talk about. Professional shit.”

Stephen eyed his hand before he slowly took it.

-x-

The two stood on the top of the Avengers tower, leaning with their arms over the railing. They looked out over the city that was glowing in the night. There had been a few minutes of comfortable silence, both just taking in the cool night air.

Tony fiddled with his fingers before he spoke, “So… You’re trying to take Morgan away from me?” he joked.

“Not my fault that I’m clearly the superior being.”

“Oh, really? What makes you so superior?”

“Magic.” Stephen stated.

Tony chuckled before nodding, “She likes you a lot, Stephen.”

“Well…” he paused, “I do admit that I care for her, Tony.”

“And I appreciate that.” Tony reached over for one of Stephen’s hands which were shaking slightly, “Thank you, Stephen.”

“For?”

“Everything, honestly. For being there for Morgan, for Peter. Definitely Peter. He was a wreck when he thought I was dead.”

Stephen smiled, “Took me five days to convince him you were alive.”

“Nearly gave him a heart attack when he saw me in my astral form.” he paused, “And thank you for saving me.” he looked down at his Infinity Reactor.

“Don’t mention it, Tony. Really. It wasn’t a big deal.”

Tony turned, taking Stephen’s other hand making him face him, “It was a big deal. I wouldn’t be here without you. I wouldn’t…” he gulped, trying to stop tears, “I wouldn’t be able to see Morgan… Or Peter… Or Pepper without you.”

“Tony-”

“I wouldn’t be able to be here with you. Without you.” he paused, “I feel like I’m in debt to you, Stephen.”

“You aren’t. I would never ask for anything in return.”

Tony could feel the slight shake of Stephen’s hands within his. The mechanic really didn’t know how to word this.

Holding his hands just a little tighter, Tony sighed, “Stephen I…” he stopped.

Stephen tensed.

He knew. He knew what Tony wanted to talk about.

“You’ve done so much for me. For Morgan. For Peter. And…” Tony stopped again.

Stephen took a step closer, their hands still together, “Go on, Tony. Just say what you have to say. Unless you want me to start?”

Tony shook his head, “No, no. Okay.” he felt slightly at ease as he looked down, “I hope this isn’t out of nowhere. But, I love you, Stephen Strange. I have since you saved my life. You’re great with Morgan. And she loves you. I can see that. I know it’s crazy to think that you would jump into a relationship with me considering I have a kid… Well… Two kids. But I hope you could give us a chance. And see how things go.”

“You’re an idiot, Stark.” Stephen chuckled.

“Well, isn’t that great to hear after I confess my love?”

One of Stephen’s shaking hands retracted from Tony’s and moved up to rest on the Infinity Reactor, “I love you, too, Anthony Edward Stark.”

“Don’t ever call me that again, Stephen Vincent Strange.” he paused, “Wait… Did you-?” he couldn’t finish his sentence as Stephen’s lips made his way onto his. Tony’s free hand moved to the back of the sorcerer’s neck, immediately reciprocating.

“Dad! Help!” Tony and Stephen jumped apart at the shout.

“Wh-” Tony started.

“Morgan and Cloakie are chasing me!” Peter exclaimed.

Tears welled in Tony’s eyes, “What did you call me?”

Peter froze, “I… uh-”

Tony looked back at Stephen, moving to kiss him on the cheek before he turned and walked towards Peter. He pulled the kid into his arms, “We’re just one big dysfunctional family.” Tony said as Peter returned the hug. The man looked over at Strange who smiled in return.

A huge gust of wind blew across the rooftop of the tower as a familiar cloak flew towards Tony and Peter, it effectively knocked them down, holding them tight.

“Morgan!” Tony shouted.

“I win!” she exclaimed as she walked over.

Stephen laughed, “I told you no matter what team she’s on, she would win.”

Morgan quickly made her way over to Stephen, “Did daddy tell you he loves you?” she whispered as he knelt down to her level.

He nodded, “Yeah.” Tony and Peter still struggled against the cloak’s restraint.

The girl held her horse tight, “Do you love him back?”

Another nod, “Of course I do.” Stephen was caught off guard as Morgan put her arms around his neck.

“Hey!” Tony exclaimed, “Can you save the hugging for later and get this stupid cloak off us?!”

Morgan stepped back as Stephen smirked, “Shall we go and get ice cream and leave them here?” Stephen whispered.

A mischievous smile appeared on Morgan’s face, “Can I have lots of ice cream?”

“Lots.”

“Don’t you dare leave us.” Tony warned.

“Doctor Strange! I’m innocent!” Peter assured.

Stephen stood up straight and took Morgan’s hand, “The little one has spoken.” he said, “She has decided your fate.”

“Strange, I swear I will marry you just so I can divorce you!”

The sorcerer laughed as he walked past the two on the floor, Morgan close by his side, “You’ll have to escape from the cloak before you can do that.”

“You’re in big trouble when I get out of this, missy!” Tony said to Morgan.

“Doctor Strange will save me!”

“You bet I will.” he replied.

“You know… I think I’m starting to reconsider being apart of this family.” Peter said.

“Hate to you break it to you, kid. But you’re stuck with us.” Tony smirked. His smirk dropped, “I swear, Stephie. Let us out.”

Stephen and Morgan arrived at the door to go back inside, “I’ll let you out in exactly thirty seconds. Try and find us before we eat all the ice cream.”

Morgan excitedly pulled Strange inside.

“I hate him so much.” Tony muttered.

“No you don’t.” Peter replied.

“Yes I do.”

“No you don’t.”

“…No I don’t.”

Writing Traumatic Injuries References

So, pretty frequently writers screw up when they write about injuries. People are clonked over the head, pass out for hours, and wake up with just a headache… Eragon breaks his wrist and it’s just fine within days… Wounds heal with nary a scar, ever…

I’m aiming to fix that.

Here are over 100 links covering just about every facet of traumatic injuries (physical, psychological, long-term), focusing mainly on burns, concussions, fractures, and lacerations. Now you can beat up your characters properly!

General resources

WebMD

Mayo Clinic first aid

Mayo Clinic diseases

First Aid

PubMed: The source for biomedical literature

Diagrams: Veins (towards heart), arteries (away from heart) bones, nervous system, brain

Burns

General overview: Includes degrees

Burn severity: Including how to estimate body area affected

Burn treatment: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd degrees

Smoke inhalation

Smoke inhalation treatment

Chemical burns

Hot tar burns

Sunburns

Incisions and Lacerations

Essentials of skin laceration repair (including stitching techniques)

When to stitch (Journal article—Doctors apparently usually go by experience on this)

More about when to stitch (Simple guide for moms)

Basic wound treatment

Incision vs. laceration: Most of the time (including in medical literature) they’re used synonymously, but eh.

Types of lacerations: Page has links to some particularly graphic images—beware!

How to stop bleeding: 1, 2, 3

Puncture wounds: Including a bit about what sort of wounds are most likely to become infected

More about puncture wounds

Wound assessment: A huge amount of information, including what the color of the flesh indicates, different kinds of things that ooze from a wound, and so much more.

Home treatment of gunshot wound, also basics More about gunshot wounds, including medical procedures

Tourniquet use: Controversy around it, latest research

Location pain chart: Originally intended for tattoo pain, but pretty accurate for cuts

General note: Deeper=more serious. Elevate wounded limb so that gravity draws blood towards heart. Scalp wounds also bleed a lot but tend to be superficial. If it’s dirty, risk infection. If it hits the digestive system and you don’t die immediately, infection’ll probably kill you. Don’t forget the possibility of tetanus! If a wound is positioned such that movement would cause the wound to gape open (i.e. horizontally across the knee) it’s harder to keep it closed and may take longer for it to heal.

Broken bones

Types of fractures

Setting a broken bone when no doctor is available

Healing time of common fractures

Broken wrists

Broken ankles/feet

Fractured vertebrae: Neck (1, 2), back

Types of casts

Splints

Fracture complications

Broken noses

Broken digits: Fingers and toes

General notes: If it’s a compound fracture (bone poking through) good luck fixing it on your own. If the bone is in multiple pieces, surgery is necessary to fix it—probably can’t reduce (“set”) it from the outside. Older people heal more slowly. It’s possible for bones to “heal” crooked and cause long-term problems and joint pain. Consider damage to nearby nerves, muscle, and blood vessels.

Concussions

General overview

Types of concussions 1, 2

Concussion complications

Mild Brain Injuries: The next step up from most severe type of concussion, Grade 3

Post-concussion syndrome

Second impact syndrome: When a second blow delivered before recovering from the initial concussion has catastrophic effects. Apparently rare.

Recovering from a concussion

Symptoms: Scroll about halfway down the page for the most severe symptoms

Whiplash

General notes: If you pass out, even for a few seconds, it’s serious. If you have multiple concussions over a lifetime, they will be progressively more serious. Symptoms can linger for a long time.

Character reaction:

Shock (general)

Physical shock: 1, 2

Fight-or-flight response: 1, 2

Long-term emotional trauma: 1 (Includes symptoms), 2

First aid for emotional trauma

Treatment (drugs)

WebMD painkiller guide

Treatment (herbs)

1, 2, 3, 4

Miscellany

Snake bites: No, you don’t suck the venom out or apply tourniquettes

Frostbite

Frostbite treatment

Severe frostbite treatment

When frostbite sets in: A handy chart for how long your characters have outside at various temperatures and wind speeds before they get frostbitten

First aid myths: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Includes the ones about buttering burns and putting snow on frostbite.

Poisons: Why inducing vomiting is a bad idea

Poisonous plants

Dislocations: Symptoms 1, 2; treatment. General notes: Repeated dislocations of same joint may lead to permanent tissue damage and may cause or be symptomatic of weakened ligaments. Docs recommend against trying to reduce (put back) dislocated joint on your own, though information about how to do it is easily found online.

Muscular strains

Joint sprain

Resuscitation after near-drowning: 1, 2

Current CPR practices: We don’t do mouth-to-mouth anymore.

The DSM IV, for all your mental illness needs.

Electrical shock

Human response to electrical shock: Includes handy-dandy voltage chart

Length of contact needed at different voltages to cause injury

Evaluation protocol for electric shock injury

Neurological complications

Electrical and lightning injury

Cardiac complications

Delayed effects and a good general summary

Acquired savant syndrome: Brain injuries (including a lightning strike) triggering development of amazing artistic and other abilities

Please don’t repost! You can find the original document (also created by me) here.

Some assholes have been putting nails in cheese and treats in dog parks in Chicago and Massachusetts. Also adding antifreeze to water bowls.

Please watch out for your dogs. And if you find out the address of someone doing this, give me the address and tell no one. I will disembowel them.

Well-Known and Obscure Toxins: How They Work

Well this is a morbid subject but HEY it’s almost Halloween baby!! I was super curious about what toxins actually do on a molecular level after reading about cone snails. Obviously toxins can kill you, but how?? I wanted to know the grisly details. This is not an exhaustive list, just some types of poison, venom, and other toxic substances I was curious about, so let’s get to it.

Deadly Nightshade

Where is it found? Atropa belladonna grows in Europe, North Africa and Western Asia.

How it works: slows your heart waaaaaay down. deadly nightshade contains tropane alkaloids atropine, hyoscine (scopolamine), and hyoscyamine which disrupt the nervous system’s ability to regulate activities such as heart rate, breathing and sweating. It can cause narcosis, paralysis and heart failure as a result. Yikes. But an antidote exists that can reverse these affects if administered in time.

Toxicity: the entire plant is toxic, with roots having the highest toxicity but berries posing the greatest threat to humans because of their appearance. 10-20 berries can kill an adult, and 2-4 can kill a child. Symptoms of mild poisoning include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, loss of balance, confusion, hallucinations (wild) and convulsions. Doesn’t sound like a good time.

Do not eat the shiny attractive berries!!! (cows and rabbits and other animals can eat it but humans, dogs and cats…NOT SO MUCH)

Totally fun and not morbid fact: during the Renaissance, belladonna was used by women in small quantities to dilate pupils and give a seductive appearance, and this is how it gets its name belladonna, or beautiful woman. Atropa comes from the Greek Fate Atropos who cuts the threads of mortal lives with her shears. Snip snip!

Hemlock

Where is it found? Conium maculatum grows naturally in Europe and North Africa, and has spread to North and South America, Australia and Western Asia.

How it works: stops your breathing. the flowers contain an alkaloid called coniine, which directly affects the nervous system and causes paralysis of respiratory muscles, leading to death from oxygen deprivation. Hemlock poisoning is treated by artificial ventilation for 48-72 hours until the effects wear off.

Toxicity: about 100 milligrams of coniine is fatal to an adult. That’s about 6-8 hemlock leaves, or a smaller dose of the seeds or root. Animals can also be poisoned and killed by hemlock, but luckily dangerous substances cannot be passed into the human food chain from milk or fowl.

Basically you’re only gonna get poisoned by this if someone puts it in your tea, because I assume you’re not gonna just go around just like…chomping on pretty flowers. Right? Right?? ok good.

Arsenic

Where is it found? arsenic is a metalloid that occurs often with sulfurs and metals. It can be present in volcanic ash and groundwater, and as a result can be found in low (acceptable) levels in plants and seafood. Good news: it is rare to find arsenic occurring at dangerous levels in nature.

How it works: in high levels, arsenic disrupts ATP production and causes organ failure due to necrotic cell death. This process can last between 2 hours to multiple days. It can also be fatal in lower doses administered over a period of time, and as such, was a popular murder weapon when it was readily available during the 1800s in England. Symptoms such as vomiting and diarrhea don’t immediately alert someone that there has been an attempted murder unless maybe you’re Sherlock Holmes.

Toxicity: google probably thinks I’m a murderer and won’t tell me just how much arsenic will kill a person. COME ON, google!!! it’s for SCIENCE!

Arsenic is no longer readily available for people to just get in large quantities, so that’s a RELIEF.

Cyanide

Where is it found? cyanide is a chemical compound produced by certain algae, bacteria and fungi. It is also found in plants such as peaches, apples, apricots and bitter almonds. A type of bamboo that grows in Madagascar is so rich in cyanide that it would kill humans, but not the golden bamboo lemur for whom this bamboo is a primary source of food!!! You go girl, eat that cyanide bamboo.

How it works: in non-bamboo-lemurs, cyanide disrupts ATP production, affects the central nervous system and heart, and causes histotoxic hypoxia: the inability of cells to take up oxygen from the bloodstream. Antidotes can work if administered in time for lower doses of cyanide.

Toxicity: 200 milligrams of solid cyanide or a cyanide solution, or exposure to airborne cyanide of 270 parts per million is sufficient to cause death within minutes. Um, YIKES. Really, cyanide was already scary enough as a solid before nature went and made it into a gas that kills upon inhalation. DEEPLY uncool.

Murder mystery writers: slip belladona or arsenic into your literary victim’s tea. Belladonna is sweet, arsenic is tasteless, but cyanide has an acrid and bitter taste.

Fun (well, not fun) fact: if you eat 200 apple seeds (about 40 apple cores) you will receive a fatal dose of cyanide. So like, don’t do that. An apple a day keeps the doctor away and is completely safe, but 40 apples apple cores a day WILL KILL YOU

Vampire Bat Saliva

Where is it found? Vampire bats are found in the Americas.

How it works: a toxic substance called Draculin (I’m serious) in the saliva of vampire bats acts as an anticoagulant by inhibiting an enzyme involved in the coagulation pathway.

Toxicity: vampire bats are indeed venomous and toxic, but they are not at all lethal. It just sorta sucks if you’re being bitten by a vampire bat, but you’ll live. Unless that bat has rabies. Vampire bat saliva also contains an analgesic, meaning the bites are almost completely painless. SO THAT’S SOMETHING

Cobra Venom

“hello do you have a moment to hear about cell death?”

Where is it found? Many species of cobra are found throughout Africa, Southwest and Southeast Asia.

How it works: most cobra venom includes neurotoxins that cause paralysis as well as cytotoxins that cause necrosis and blood coagulation. blood coagulation can happen in minutes.

Toxicity: many types of cobra venom are treatable, but may leave disfigurement from necrosis. If this isn’t scary enough for you, just know that spitting cobras can reach 2.7 m (8.9 ft) in length and like to aim for the eyes.

But you’d still rather be bitten by a cobra than THIS deadly mofo:

Venom of the Inland Taipan

Where is it found? the inland taipan is the most venomous snake in the world and lives, YOU GUESSED IT, in Australia, ie the place where everything is designed to kill you. Evolution decided it can reach 1.8 meters (5.9 feet) with a maximum length of 2.5 meters (8.2 feet), which I think everyone can agree is a dick move on evolution’s part. Take it back, TAKE IT BACK!!!!!

How it works: the venom contains neurotoxins, hemotoxins, and myotoxins AND an enzyme to increase absorption of the venom. Basically it causes paralysis, blood coagulation and muscle damage, because one of these things wasn’t enough apparently. Antivenoms against Australian venomous snakes exist but are least effective against the venom of the inland taipan.

Toxicity: the inland taipan’s venom has a murine LD50 value of 0.025m/kg. This means there is a 50% chance that .025 milligrams per kilogram of weight will cause death. It’s bite contains enough venom to kill at least 100 adult humans. But GOOD NEWS! the inland taipan lives in such remote places that it rarely comes in contact with people. Other slightly less venomous snakes are therefore responsible for more deaths. ….So that’s…still terrifying. just don’t go into the woods in Australia FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

What’s deadlier than the deadliest snake in the world, you ask?

Tetrodotoxin

Where is it found? tetrodotoxin is found in several animals such as pufferfish, moon snails and the small but deadly Australian blue ringed octopus (DAMMIT Australia)

How it works: blocks sodium channels. This prevents normal transmission of signals between the body and brain, causing loss of sensation, paralysis and inability to breathe. Fun!!! Don’t pick up the frickin evil little octopus

Toxicity: more powerful than cyanide, that’s for sure, about a thousand times more powerful in fact. the oral median lethal dose (LD50) for mice as 334 micrograms per kilogram. Fatal pufferfish poisoning result in death in about 17 minutes. The blue-ringed octopus, however, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within just a few minutes. There is no anti-venom.

What’s worse than that, you ask? Ah, you shouldn’t have asked.

Conotoxin

Where is it found? Cone snails are found in the Indo-Pacific, the Cape of South Africa, the Mediterranean, and even southern California. Smaller species are not that dangerous. Larger species, however…

How it works: paralysis within minutes. cone snails have multiple harpoons to administer venom to prey (or unsuspecting humans). the harpoons deliver a venom that has HUNDREDS of different types of toxins, each targeting different nerve channels or receptors. Some cone snail venom even includes pain-reducing toxins. These pain reducing toxins can be 100 to 1,000 times more powerful than morphine. How THOUGHTFUL.

Toxicity: vastly more potent than tetrodotoxin. the oral median lethal dose (LD50) for mice is is 10 to 100 micrograms/kilogram. So like, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT LOL

Ricin

Where is it found? Ricin is obtained from the beans of the castor oil plant.

How it works: inhibits protein production and results in organ failure, respiratory failure and circulatory shock.

Toxicity: The median lethal dose (LD50) of ricin is around 22 micrograms per kilogram of body weight. If that sounds bad just wait till you hear about poison dart frogs 😭

VX

Where is it found? Nowhere in nature. VX is synthetic. It is an oily amber colored liquid in its natural form, was first developed as a pesticide and later for chemical warfare. It is considered a weapon of mass destruction and is banned under the Chemical Weapons Convention of 1993.

How it works: causes stimulation and fatigue of muscarinic and nicotinic ACh receptors, resulting in violent contractions followed by paralysis and death by asphyxiation.

Toxicity: 7 micrograms/kilogram. this is one of the most toxic synthetic substances on earth. Humans have got nothing on mother nature though…

Batrachotoxin

(This guy is called phyllobates TERRIBILIS. but is his cute little face terrible? noooo.)

Where is it found? in certain types of beetles, birds and poison dart frogs found in Colombia.

How it works: similar to conotoxin, batrachotoxin interrupts sodium channels. The resulting migration of Na+ ions causes heart failure and paralysis.

Toxicity: The LD50 is around 2 micrograms per kilogram, meaning that an amount the size of two grains of table salt will kill you, and that this is even worse than a cone snail, Ricin, or VX. Batrachotoxin is one of the deadliest alkaloids known. No antidote exists.

Fun frog fact: this was the poison commonly used by the Embera-Wounaan for poison darts, and that’s where poison dart frogs get their name! How…cute.

Botulinum, most toxic substance in the world

Where is it found? made by the bacteria Clostridium botulinum and related species.

How it works: causes Botulism, which if untreated can result in paralysis and respiratory failure by preventing the release of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Botulinum is used in very very very VEEEEEEERY small amounts in Botox, in case you ever needed reasons NOT to do Botox lol.

Toxicity: the lethal dose of 1.3–2.1 nanograms per kilogram in humans. of any toxin natural or synthetic, this is the deadliest known. However!! Actual good news this time: treatments involving antitoxin therapy and intubation are very successful and mortality from Botulism is extremely low. Yay! 

More good news: toxins have been instrumental in medicinal breakthroughs throughout history and continue to be vital to modern medicine. A drug for diabetes was recently synthesized from Gila monster venom: it increases the production of insulin when blood sugar levels are high. A painkiller has been developed for chronic pain patients that is derived from a component of the venom of our friend, you guessed it, the cone snail! These are just two examples of toxins being used in medicine, and a lot of research is still being done because face it: we still don’t know a lot about how our bodies work. Paralyzing agents are extremely important to our understanding of the body and the development of non-opiate non-addictive painkillers because of how they disrupt signals between nerves and the brain.

Long story short: don’t eat nightshade and stay OFF AUSTRALIAN BEACHES and you should be just fine. 

Oh and your tea is getting cold ;)