Love Me Baby

Hi, can you write about yandere ethan who thinks he is in a relationship with the reader, and he is very affectionate with her, and always calls her by "honey, baby, love", the reader allows it because they are childhood friends and she knows that his family ignore and neglect him, so she always tries to give him affection, but eventually it becomes unbearable when she wants to meet more people and ethan doesn't let her because he is extremely jealous and possessive with her.

Love me baby

Yan!Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Masterlist if you want to read my others things.

TW/CW: love bombing (I think?), manipulation, lies, reader curses a lot(she's just going crazy guys), mention of sex

Don't know what to think of this. I came back for Halloween month isn't that crazy (it's not). I probably lost like 70% of you guys but yeah I'm alive. Still writing things that end up WAY too long. And I'm sorry but I'm working on all of your asks I'm just really slow but each of you are genius, so far I had crazy stories ideas.

Idk if that's what you wanted with your prompt but that's what I thought so I still hope you like it.

07/10/2024 (7254 words)

The door of your room creaks slowly, the dark atmosphere creating such a heavy tension in the air you could cut it with a knife. You hold your breath, keeping your eyes closed, praying. Footsteps are resonating on the wood flooring when they come to a sudden stop at the opposite of the bed. Slowly, the blanket is raised and a weight is pressed down on the mattress.

The warm of his body is both comforting and infuriating.

"I love to sleep with you." Whisper Ethan a smile in the voice.

You did not answer because you were pretending to be asleep. There was no way you were going to help him nourish his delusion.

You never understood why Ethan never changed with time. Because, well, most of the time, when a girl and a boy are childhood friends, there's this awkward transition thanks to puberty. It's the moment you realize that he's a man, and you're not. And he realizes it as well.

And normally from then, you have trouble sleeping in the same bed, being stuck together all day, eating each other's food. As people are always looking your way, asking since when are you two together and telling you how cute you are and shit.

But Ethan, it seems, never realized that growing up meant putting boundaries between you.

"You're warm." he says, lodging his face in the crook of your neck. Embracing your body with one arm on your waist and pulling your back against his torso. You're still pretending to be sound asleep.

You thought about asking him. Asking him if he didn't have difficulties to find a partner, since people always assume you are a couple. But you never asked. Because Ethan tells you everything, and you mean everything. So if he had trouble looking for love, you would have known first day.

But you're not even sure Ethan knows what love is to begin with.

His family, well, his family... His family had a favorite child, and it wasn't him. Richie, may he rest in peace, was the perfect golden child. Ethan always has been put aside along with his sister. His father never really tried to know his other kids.

But then Richie died. You're not sure how exactly because it's a taboo subject for him and his family, and you understand them. But from what you've heard, it was a sort of accident. A few friends of him didn't like his passion for Halloween so they tricked him, or something. You ignore all the details.

That's all you know, though. Richie and you weren't even close. He liked drama, for sure. But your friend was Ethan, not his brother. Plus, Ethan was giving you the stinky eye and acting jealous if you even tried to look at Richie. At the time, you found it normal. Richie was the favorite, Ethan didn't get attention as any of it went to his brother. You were his friend, his only friend, who wanted to talk to him and not his brother. Of course he would act jealous if he stole a little bit of you; you were the only support he had in life.

All of this to say, Ethan never received any real love. His sister loved him, you think. They were both neglected. But she loved her father more. And Ethan was conflicted as well. He admired and hated his father. So yeah, love in this family was complicated.

But now, as you're both grown up, sleeping in your bed together, you think you should've say something sooner.

"You're asleep baby ?" he whispers, chuckling in your ear.

Baby.

You don't remember when he first started calling you that. It was so... Smooth. You think he was joking at first, just like you. Calling you pet names just to annoy you. You were doing the same. But he started to slip these baby, love a little bit everywhere. So much that you become accustomed to it ! And you stopped paying attention. To you, his pet names just became another way to say bro, man, girl. There wasn't anything weird behind it. But you were naive.

"You really are sleeping ?"

Ethan is still a complicated man to understand. He seems to have such intense feelings inside him. He's supposed to tell you everything but you're not sure he really does. Like Richie's death.

He often cries the death of his brother, doing violent nightmares as well. Ethan never told you the real reason of his death. But it doesn't change anything, Ethan always ended up calling you in the middle of the night breaking down and asking for your support.

So it's no surprise that you ended up being his roommate.

Because you know him better than anyone else.

"Already ?" he whispers, skeptical.

And he knows you better than anyone else.

"Or are you ignoring me, hm ?"

Privacy with him was non existent. When you moved in, you were so excited to live a new life with your best friend. You even go to the same school ! You thought, naively, that it'd be so much fun ! Discovering your adult life with him and all.

Oh how you hate yourself, today.

Doors ? Always open. Clothes ? You're sharing them. Bed ? You bought two for nothing. He's constantly in yours. Fuck, where are you ? In jail ? You don't need to share everything !

But these days, Ethan acts different. Like, really different. He made friends. Alone. By himself. Friends that are not you. Which is new and a fricking good new. Because that means he'll finally start to live his own life without trying to glue you in it.

"Are you mad at me ?" the tip of his fingers draw invisible pattern on your arm. "I'm sorry."

His sister even is in this group. But she doesn't want you to join. Well, you think she doesn't, at least. Each time you smile at her, she sends you a death glare. Even Ethan choose not to introduce you to them. You're not even sure their new friends know they are related. The Kirsch family liked to stay private about their life. Or Landry, like Ethan wants you to call him now. Whatever makes him happy.

His friends are nice, though. You talked to them something like three times in the year but they're nice people. Their names are not quite in your head yet, but you do remember a few of them.

And Tara's really cute ! You thought that Ethan and her had a thing going on but when you asked him, he got all offended and denied everything in one block. So you don't know.

Well, you're lying. You do know, unfortunately. Ethan's in love with you. It's as obvious as the sun in the sky. You can't even be surprised, you saw it coming. He never talk to girls, you're probably the only one he ever talked to, or even looked in the eyes for that matter.

Since your childhood you've been here for him, supporting him when his family didn't. Loving him when he needed it the most. Of course, at the end, he would fall in love with you. But it wasn't the goal, you swear it wasn't your intention. Ethan is your friend.

Even if he's starting to get really clingy. A little too much. And even if he's trying to establish a routine too domestic for you.

"I don't have a thing for Tara, you know.

There he goes again. He's trying to reassure you. But damn, you don't need any reassurance. You're good. He's acting like you're the one getting jealous over nothing.

That's why he got offended when you asked him about her. Ethan is scared you'll think he's 'cheating' on you. Or do you think. Ethan never elaborated on what your relationship had become. Probably because he was afraid of your reaction, of your rejection.

-It's quite the opposite.

You retain yourself from asking him what he means by that, utterly confused. The opposite ? He doesn't like her, then ? But why is he hanging out with her so much ? Ethan is usually not the hypocrite type. Yes he's shy with people he doesn't know and is scared to give his opinion but when he doesn't like someone, he simply stops seeing them.

And once again, Tara's really nice. What did she do to make Ethan don't like her ?

-But you'll understand.

You stopped trying to understand him, a long time ago already. He just changed so much in the course of a few days. It's like he has too much on his mind. Sometimes, he just disappear from your apartment and come back hours later with a big smile on the face, all disheveled.

Of course, you thought he was seeing someone. Hell, his bag is always so bloated ! It's like he has spare clothes in it ! But it still wasn't the case. What the hell was going on with him ?

-So please, don't be mad at me.

-I'm tired, Ethan. You whisper, lips pursued thanks to your cheek planted on your pillow. He already knew you were awake anyway. Your sentence is enough to tell him you want to sleep and end this conversation.

-Of course, sorry baby."

And that was it. You knew he was smiling behind you but you didn't care. He left you alone, that's what matter. You were already trying to push him away for a long time but now you feel like time is missing. You need to make him understand that you do not like him and quick. It'll break his heart, but you're tired of pretending everything's alright, exhausted from constantly being the one to compromise.

You don't want to sound like a jerk but damn, Ethan is suffocating you. He's ruining both of your lives. The last time you had a partner have to be something like years ago ! You literally have to hide from him when you leave to see someone.

"Goodnight." He adds, ten minutes later. Probably scared that you forget about him so quickly.

How could you possibly change things ? Ethan is susceptible. It doesn't matter what your words or intentions are, he only hear what he wants to.

"Love you." he whispers so lowly you thought you imagined it.

You do not even try to answer.

The next day, in class, Ethan kept pestering you about the new movie he absolutely had to show you. Something along the line of a serial killer in a mine chasing people with a pickaxe, being in love with his ex-girlfriend and sabotaging her couple. Tonight would probably be centered around that film, just like every time you two have any free time. If that idea would have appealed you years prior, you today feel as if this is too much. Yesterday night laid a weird weight on your shoulders, a sort of unease that you can't quite shake off.

"Aren't you tired of always watching movies ? You grumble, annoyed, in hope of giving him the ick.

-No, he smiles, but we can do something else. No big deal. What did you have in mind ?"

You sigh, not even giving him enough attention to answer him. He'll probably still put the movie tonight, whether you like it or not. For sure to avoid another argument between you both. As you're constantly fighting, talking about a movie is the only way Ethan found to prevent an umpteenth dispute. Quite smart actually, if you forget the fact that you now know his strategy.

The hubbub slowly surrounding you alerts you of your soon to be lateness in class. With a nod in his direction, you start turning away from Ethan only for him to hastily grab your hand. Sighing, you raise a brow at him.

"We're walking home together, don't forget.

-Ethan we've been walking home together for years now. Clearly I won't forget." He smiles. His hands grab both of your cheeks and as his face approaches yours, panic settles thinking he would kiss you on the lips but he instead lay a chaste kiss on your forehead.

"See you later." Ethan's too happy voice says. You frown, holding his wrists to take them away from you in what could be similar to disgust. "Yeah, later." You say before finally leaving him for the next few classes, wiping his kiss on the way.

You won't see him for the afternoon as you both already ate together at home, and started class at 2PM (14h), to end the day at 8PM (20h).

These lonesome classes are both a benediction and a curse as you try as best as you can to befriend people but they always seem wary. It's probably too late for you to make friend now, the whole year is almost done. People already made friends earlier in the year and don't need any new ally.

And at the same time, Ethan is not here to harass you. That's why you still cherish this morning. Until you don't; your next class is with him and if you remember correctly the teacher talked about a group project last time. Great. Way to ruin a day.

But when you sit down, no one is there to bother you. Ethan is absent, probably late. A rare occurrence but a lovely one nonetheless.

Ten minutes later and he finally show up along with all of his new friends. Immediately, you lay down on the desk to avoid his gaze. But to your stupor, Ethan does not sit next to you and you hear the whispers of his group, conscious of having interrupted the lesson. Ethan ignored you.

Honestly, you can't pinpoint the main emotion this procured you. Relief at first but also confusion, fear of the harassment and countless excuses that'll come next. Happiness but wariness. The fact he's not next to you doesn't mean he's not watching and that's somehow ten times worse. You can't see him: you have no idea what he's doing.

Anyway, he's finally starting to replace you. Still, isn't that a bit toxic how your days are filled with fear to spend a mere minute in his presence while he acknowledges you only when wants to ? Well, everything about him is toxic. At this point, it doesn't change anything really.

You risk one look behind you to observe his usual shenanigans but he's busy, not even glancing your way. Now that you look at him, he doesn't seem really happy to talk to them, nor does Quinn. What is going on with them ? Ethan just look empty. He's staring into nothing, not even blinking. Just deep in thoughts. Though, as soon as Chad or one of the group talks to him, he gains back his merry behaviour. Weird. But hey, it's none of your business !

And that's the same spirit you sport when leaving for class, alone and not waiting for Ethan. It's good that the teacher reported the group project to tomorrow, you got to enjoy your day. You still hear him and his friends laugh in the background, but he's talking this time. Maybe he just wasn't in a good mood earlier and actually likes his friends, who know ?

And after all, if it's like that, you can go home alone. Not that you complain. You'll just say you didn't want to disturb him with his friends. After all, he's the one who doesn't want you to know them. You won't force him !

And hopefully, you'll finally enjoy some time to yourself. At peace, at home.

You push the heavy door of the building, leaving the place for the day. It's cold outside, too much for you own liking but you're alone and it's priceless. You can look at people in the street and you only realize how bad your situation really is. You do not even allow partners to treat you like this, but somehow you allow Ethan to? It's time to wake up. You can't live like this anymore. Ethan trapped you in a toxic relationship for fuck sake. If you can't change him, you'll change yourself. But he can't find out.

But when you thought you were finally free, rushed footsteps hitting the ground can be heard in your back. Goosebumps raises your body hair as you fear already knowing who's coming.

"You promised!" He shouts and your steps stop abruptly, turning to look at him. You allow him to run the distance left between you before he stops in front of you. "And you left without me. He is out of breath, having ran all the way here.

-You were busy.

-I'm never busy when you're here. Ethan tells you with a playful grin, almost flirting with you, passing his fingers in his curls to tame them. You can come fetch me if you're scared I forget about you.

He's joking, you think, he's just friendly and joking. Nothing's weird and — shit, who are you lying to ? Of course he's not but what the hell can you do ?

-How was you day ? He asks, changing subject. He saw your unease, like always, and try to take your attention on something else. Math sucked today, we worked on... but he suddenly interrupts himself, eyes going wide. I forgot to give my essay to the English teacher.

You already gave yours this morning. But it's weird that Ethan did not. He's usually the perfect little student. Always giving his homework the next day he was asked to do it. There really is something weird, he's a little bit too much in his own head. And it's starting to show.

-I still have my draft, you can just copy mine and give it tomorrow, it's no big deal. You shrug, looking at both sides of the road before crossing. You're always the first to hand homework, I'm sure he won't mind if you give it a little bit later.

"Really ? He smiles brightly when you nod. "Thank you! You know, I have no idea what I'd do without you baby.

Your body tenses. You feel like the discussion is going in a direction you don't want it to go. It's obvious he's not only talking about the homework you let him copy.

-It's nothing, you start, but it's already too late.

-You know, I don't think you realize all the things you've done for me. Not just the homework, like, in all our life.

You hate how he said 'our life', like you share one.

-For real Ethan, you add but much more coldly than before, it's nothing. Are you done ? Can we let it go, now ?"

Yes, being mean maybe wasn't the best solution. But you ran out of ideas. And Ethan never look like he's hurt by your harsh tone. It's like he doesn't even listen to you most of the time you're starting to get angry at him. He just nods and smiles like an idiot.

The rest of the way home, Ethan ranted about everything and anything he did at school and asked you questions which you did not bother to answer to, to what he filled the answers himself.

On the last steps to your apartment, you realize you have to act today for your future.

Ethan opens the door and allows you to enter before him. Turning the light on, you're pleased to see your sweet comfort.

"Happy to be home, you grunt, letting your bag fall on the ground.

-Happy I caught up to you.

Is he being passive aggressive ? What are you even supposed to say to that ? You give him a tight lip smile and walk to the kitchen, getting you a cup of water.

-What we doing now ? He asks, leaning on the counter.

Well, you for sure don't know about 'we' but you are going to sleep. You need to set up boundaries, or at least introduce them to him.

-It's getting late. I think I'll go to sleep.

-Already ? Okay, well, I'm coming in a few seconds.

-About that... Ethan stops in his track. You tub your temples. Here you go again. You're sleeping in your room tonight, you state. Not open for any negotiation.

Ethan stares at you as if you had grow another head.

-You don't want to sleep with me ?

-I had a really tiring day, I just want to sleep alone for tonight. But if you have another nightmare come knock, I'll see what I can do.

Naively, you thought that making him pity you would work, that he'd understand, tell you goodnight and everything would be done for the day. But it's Ethan. And you haven't been separated from Ethan since you guys were kids.

The boy stares at you with doe eyes, trying to coax you into giving him what he wants, before frowning, articulating words that won't come out.

He's trying to gently manipulate you, again. And you repeat yourself that it's not his fault, he's a victim of his shitty family. He doesn't have any social awareness, he's not doing it on purpose. Well, you think he's doing it on purpose but without really acknowledging it. As you told him multiple times his behaviour could be obsessive and he's aware of it. But it's as if he can't help it.

You're confused. But at the same time, you don't really know much about the interactions he had with his father along his childhood. Maybe he's copying this mechanism because he saw his progenitor doing it ? His father could be manipulative after all. Your parents always found him weird but with the death of his first son, he just completely lost it.

-You... You don't want to sleep with me. Mumbles Ethan more to himself.

-Exactly Ethan, I don't want to.

It's like you see the gear turning in his head.

-Why ? he asks which caused a sigh to escape you.

-I wanted to talk to you about it for a while now. It's complicated." You sit on the back of the cushion and scratch at you arm to help you think. "I like you a lot Ethan, you know right ?

His lips turns up to display a bright smile, his face seem to shine at your words and he nods multiple times. You think you see his eyes stare at your lips.

-I love you too. I hope you know that.

Now, 'love' wasn't actually the word you used but you're going to have to ignore that.

-The thing is, Ethan, that we do not have to be stuck together every minutes of the day, you hear me ? Sometimes I want to sleep alone. And I'm sure you want to be alone too, right ? Ethan frowns and laugh nervously.

-I actually don't, I... Why would I want to be alone ? I sleep really well with you. Don't you ? Why do you suddenly hate being with me ?

-Wow okay I did not say that. You are interpreting my words in a way I don't like. I don't hate to be with you I just...

-What do you need to do that requires me to be out of your bedroom ?

Lot of things. But there is some you can't say out loud.

-What ? Tell me then ? What are you-. Ethan says, cheeks turning red. Oh, yeah, you can sleep alone for tonight I guess, he clears his throat. He avoids eye contact, trying to act tough.

Is he thinking about what you think ?

-Ethan, I won't do any weird stuff tonight. I just want to be alone. I like to sleep in a star like position or just being able to move in my sleep you know ? That's all.

-But you can do that with me.

Maybe you should've stick with whatever dirty thought he had. You should have told him you were going to invite someone over or.. Or fucking masturbate if that's what you need to get him out. Because Ethan steps towards you, an empty expression he doesn't give you often on the face.

-You're lying to me. That's not why you want to sleep alone. I really hate you lying to me.

-I am not lying to you Ethan, I'm exhausted.

He scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest and getting defensive. How come you ruined everything ? Nothing is ever right with him, he always find a way to change your words or just get offended over anything.

-You'll be talking all night with him, won't you?

That right now is one of the many reasons as to why you never tried to bring the topic of personal space to a man like him.

-Ethan for the love of god, I want to sleep! I won't talk to anyone, damn.

You don't even know who is that 'him' ! It's not like you have the opportunity to talk to a lot of people, Ethan always ruin everything. And in any case he doesn't, everyone just assume that you two are together already.

-You're lying. You'll chat with him. Give me your phone. I... I can't let you do that. I'll be all alone and you'll laugh with him while I'll be with my broken heart.

The light of the living room was starting to hurt your tired eyes, you couldn't retain many yawns from escaping. Turning on your phone, you learn you've been fighting for ten minutes. You needed to sleep but Ethan wasn't on the same page. It was late, too late for bullshit like this.

-Who are you even talking about ?

He suddenly tries to grab your phone by force, pulling it towards him. Our of pure bewilderment you tighten your hold on the device, grasping it so hard the screen might have broke. You slap him in the face with your free hand, utterly in disbelief. Ethan stands still, shock on his face while he let go of your device to touch his cheek.

-What is wrong with you ? You whisper with disgust. It's the first time Ethan acted physical with you. And probably the last time as the numerous searches for accommodations on your phone testify.

-Why can't I see your damn phone?

-And why do you fucking want to see it ?

Silence. He stands still, frowning. Probably considering if he'll either go for manipulation or violence. But his next words are so out of pocket that you need a minute to compose yourself.

-Are you prostituting yourself or what ? With the number of men you see.

Honestly, it simply is sad to see what you two had became. As children, you were attached to the hip, fusional. You could both end each other sentence. Today, it seems only Ethan is able to do that as he knows you more and more when you know him less and less.

-I think we're done for the night Ethan." You walk to your room, using his stillness to take your time before slamming the door shut in his face, locking it for the night. You hear Ethan knocking his palm against the wood separating you both but you chose to ignore it.

-Open the door please, let's talk." He never stops knocking on the door, probably thinking you'd open it at one point, annoyed at him. But not tonight.

You open your drawers and start changing, frowning at the sight of his boxers laying in your clothes. He's still rambling in the background but you pay him no mind, doing your own life on your side.

-What you're doing is really childish. We're both adults and we should act as such. Open the fucking door, please. You smile.

There he goes. The real Ethan. The meanie. The man after the death of his brother: Ethan Landry. A completely different man.

-Are you listening to me ? Open that fucking door, we are not done talking because I know you're not ignoring me after being the one who left me alone on campus.

Of course he would use that against you but you don't even care. Yeah you left him alone, so what ? He's a big man, isn't he ? Surely he's not scared of walking alone.

-See how you are ? All big and proud before me but then when we really need to talk you hide." He mutters something you don't hear, but then you catch his footsteps moving away.

You're confused but decide it's a good thing he gave up and fall on the bed, it's the first time in probably months where you're allowed to lay like a star fish in your own bed. You relish in the newfound comfort you missed how so much. You plunge your face in your pillow and hug it firmly.

At one point, it falls on you that Ethan never give up that quickly and realize that upon hearing no reaction from you, he must've changed plan as his footsteps are back, along with an unknown sound of something falling right in front of your door. To no one surprise, he now starts apologizing.

"I'm stupid, okay ? Forgive me. I'm sorry. Open please. His voice is muffled through the door, and you ignore it. I'm just worried about you. I know you're not seeing anyone.

Great, he's back.

-And I'm sorry for getting angry at you. I was frustrated.

He's not and you know it. When Ethan has something in mind, he'll go to incredible length to accomplish it. Sometimes, you ask yourself if he's acting this way because of you. If you once told him something, did something that could have impacted him.

-I just really like you, I know I can be a lot sometimes but you forgive me, right ? You always do." You think about definitely moving out of here, once and for all, far from him when you fall asleep.

When sunlight woke you up the next day and you decided to head to the kitchen, you were surprised to see Ethan, sleeping tightly on his mattress on the ground at your feet, right before the door. You completely forgot about him. There's no way he really slept on the ground all night. It's not normal, you're worried about him. Maybe you need to take him to a psychiatrist.

You stay stunned a few minutes, seriously worrying over the state of your friend for him to be doing literally anything. You were going to wake him up, but then you remembered how weird he was being with you recently and decided to let him be.

Ignoring him, you step over his body and start to prepare your breakfast. Of course, Ethan quickly woke up upon hearing you rummaging the drawers.

"Hi baby..." He whispers, tired from his sleepless night, eyes still partially closed. "Slept well ?

-Yes actually. The best night of sleep I've had in a long time. There was a bounce in your steps that couldn't be ignored.

-Well I had nightmares." It's hard to discern the truth in all of his lies. Maybe he really had nightmares, maybe he just wants you to feel guilty.

There was a tension in the apartment this morning that even Ethan couldn't hide this time. He stayed silent for the most part of the walk to class. Something in your relationship changed and the unknown scares you. What will happen now ?

Your first lesson is with Ethan, but he leaves your side to go straight to his friends. Chuckling, you know he's still angry at you and is trying to make you mad.

As soon as you sit, the teacher announces the instructions of the group project everyone will have to do in these two hours and then finish at home. Name by name, she lists duets and the class start to move around, going to their partner. When your name is coupled with another, you see a guy walks towards you with a smile. He stops in front of your table.

"You're the one I'm doing the project with, right ?

You smile to him and nod, giving him your name. He repeated your action, introducing himself. He was cute. He sits by your side, you chat a little, getting to know each other. You hope he usually has good grade, you really don't want to repeat your year.

The man now sat on the chair next to you start planning the organization of the project. Dividing the task to be much more efficient. That's what you do, telling him you can do the second part while he does the first. Everything was going well until you realized that it's been a long time since you saw the Kirsch boy, and of course, he had to change that.

The curly man heads your way, smiling upon seeing you make eye contact with him. He stares one second at the man by your side, immediately displaying a smile who you knew announced no good.

"Hi, I'm Ethan. I asked the teacher to change groups. So you're not with her anymore, you're actually with Amber over there" he turns his back to you and point to a girl further away. "The one in blue." He looks back at you two, using his shy demeanor and lanky posture to appear as the nerd you know damn well he isn't. He knows that by acting this way, he is laughed at but never yelled at. He looks innocent.

-What ? Why ? Why would you ask the teacher that ? You ask.

-Because we're friends so we'll work better together." He was giving you that shy smile you learnt to hate. He thought you'd forgive him quicker this way; he was right. You did forgive him quicker in the past, but not anymore. It's quite the opposite now, each time he was trying to manipulate you like this, you were getting angrier.

"And I know how much you're insecure about yourself and all so, it's for you !"

What the actual fuck is he talking about!

All the while telling you this, Ethan never looked in your new friend's way. His attention was solely on you. He's humiliating you, and on purpose. Confused, embarrassed and sorry, you search the other man's eyes. He was just like you. He raises a brow then shrugs. He packs his things, you apologize and he smiles, telling you that it's okay. You felt like shit.

He's heading towards the girl Ethan forced him to work with.

"Why would you do that ?

He's embarrassing ! You look like two losers who only have each others as friends and don't want to talk to anyone else. It's seriously tiring. You've been each other sole friend for years ! You can't even name someone you've been friend with for more than a month !

-We're friends, remember ? he raises his brow, as if telling you the obvious.

-And that's a reason to push everyone else away ? To humiliate me ? What the fuck are you on about me being insecure ? I get that you're angry at me but fuck it Ethan.

-He's an asshole. I saw him around. You really shouldn't hang around him." He does not elucidate on the other part of your sentences. But you know what he would have said already; it's a test to see if he'd stayed, and he didn't so he's not your friend.

You don't even want to argue with him at this point. It was useless, he was never listening to you. It's impossible for you to count the times in which Ethan drove everyone away. You had literally zero friends here but Ethan.

Once, a girl came talk to you in finance but Ethan arrived and jokingly told her you had AIDS. What the fuck ? Who say that first thing when meeting someone ? Even her didn't understand. She just thought you two were weird and never talked to you ever again. It's like he loves to embarrass you in front of everyone. And when you got angry at him, he just said it was a joke but he was just so awkward with people and- Fuck. He pretended to be the victim, again.

You always try to help him. You know he had a difficult childhood, never received love, never had friends, you know. That's why you always overlooked his flaws. But today and this night was just too much.

That night, you locked yourself in the toilet to chat with the owner who could potentially save your life. She asked you about your studies and your work to know more about your profile.

"I'm in New York right now but I'm almost finished with my degree so that's why I plan to move out." You send her.

The owner shares with you her excitement towards you living in New York, saying how she's doesn't understand why would someone leave a big city to a place as desolated as where she is. You answer briefly, something along the lines of family problems.

You really hope she'll accept your profile. Her house is beautiful and perfectly located. Far enough from the city, but close enough that you can go there for a future work. Rent is high but it's necessary or Ethan definitely will end you.

"Did you die in here ?" Ethan knocks on the door. Yeah, you really need to get out of here. Flushing and washing your hand, to make it look credible, you adjust your clothes before opening the door. Ethan is in front of you, staring at you from head to toe.

"Where are we going ?

You heard about a party going on and decided to join on a whim, tired of being locked up here all the time.

-You're personally not going anywhere, you hide your device in your pocket, fearing he might discover your project of leaving town. But I'm leaving for a party. He frowns.

-Who will there be? Who you're going out with ? Why am I not allowed ?

-You don't know them." You say without looking at him, too busy in closing your jacket. You considered lying to him in saying it's a girls only party. But thought otherwise.

"Then don't go."

You sigh, exasperated, and close your eyelids tightly to try to keep your cool. He's doing it again. Grabbing your purse, you search for your bus card while walking to the door.

"Well I want to, Ethan.

-But I don't."

His sentence stopped you in your tracks. The beating of your heart resonate in your head, giving you a headache. You know if he continues in this direction, you will explode. Frustration and rage were mixing in your mind. He has to stop, right now.

Controlling your breathing turns out to be much more difficult in those conditions. Slowly, your body turns towards him. You tilt your head to the side and chuckle dryly, speechless by his audacity. Staring at Ethan with frown accompanying a fake smile, one too happy for your predicament, you realize he doesn't seem uncomfortable at all after saying such stupids things to your face.

"And since when do you decide of what I do ?" you plainly laugh, not even trying to hide it, both sarcastically and in bewilderment.

"Why are you always trying to go and cheat ?

-Excuse me ?

-I'm literally here." he frowns, staring at you like you're the guilty one. "I'm... What the hell do you fucking need ? We can just spend the night on the couch and watch a movie, why're you always leaving me ?" Ethan is shaking his head angrily, showing you his emotions are true by using his body, making his curls bounce in the process.

Him and his stupid movies !

-You can't decide for me. Where does that come from Ethan ? I'm going where I want, when I want with who I want.

-No you're not.

That was the final straw.

-And who the fuck are you ? Who the fuck do you think you are ? You walk up to him, face dangerously close to his.

-Yeah, who am I ? Who am I to you ? What am I ? What are we ? He pushes himself towards you, making you backtrack. I thought we were bonded forever, why the sudden change ?

-I don't care about your teenage crisis for fuck sake ! Everything is always about you, you and you ! I want to leave, so you're going to let me fucking leave !

-You're in love with Chad, right ?

You frown your brow and open your mouth to answer but the shock and utter confusion prevents any words, sounds, from coming out. What is he even talking about ? What is wrong with him ? Where is the fucking link between Chad and you ? You never even pronounced his name in front of him !

-What the fuck, Ethan ! I don't even know him !

-That's what you're saying, now. But what if you're lying to me ? He looked hurt and you couldn't understand it. He was literally creating problem in his head and then getting mad over it.

-How do you even come to this conclusion ! I- You know what ? I don't want to argue. You need some fucking therapy, Ethan.

-That's why you want to leave tonight. You plan on having sex with Chad.

-What the fuck is wrong with you, Ethan. For real. It's not even funny it's just... It's just worrying. What the hell is wrong with you ?

-I'm perfectly fine, what is wrong with you ?

-Don't you dare play this on me.

-Nothing is fucking wrong with me, you always say that but I'm perfectly fine. I told you I just don't want you to have sex with Chad. Sorry for loving my girlfriend I guess !

-Your what now ? Because I don't recall agreeing to-

-That's not the point, you're gonna fuck that fucking idiot !

-Stop saying that ! Fuck, Ethan ! You're weird !

Ethan was a virgin, for sure. But does it excuse the fact that he was being an absolute creep right now ? No. Clearly not. Why was he so invested in your sex life ? And did he have to make it a whole conversation ?

-Ethan, you hold your face in despair, you really need some fucking help because I can't stand it anymore. You're destroying my life. Your lip wobble, you feel like crying but don't know why. Is it anger or sadness, maybe even exhaust. I am tired. So I'm begging you to please consult a therapist.

Out of shock, Ethan stays silent. Watching as your eyes water. He raises a hand towards your face, slowly. But you push it away and leave the place, slamming the door. In the stairs, you jump over a few steps and almost fall multiple times but you don't think about it. You need to leave. If you can find somewhere to sleep at it would be perfect, but you don't push your luck.

Fortunately, you didn't tell Ethan where you were headed. Once at the party, you would have fun and enjoy the moment without thinking about Ethan. That's the plan.

Only, his plan did not concord with yours as an armed masked man came for a surprise visit.