OCTOBER PASSED ME BY

OCTOBER PASSED ME BY

pairings - universityex!ellie x fem!reader

genre - university au, angst, fluff

synopsis: after your best friend persuades you to take a break from studying and attend a party, you unexpectedly come face-to-face with your ex, stirring up unresolved emotions. by the end of the night, you find yourself heading home with more than just a brief escape from your studies.

tw: mentions of alcohol, reader goes to a frat party, mild swearing (not sure if that's a warning but sure), nothing majorly serious

word count: 4.7K

you were the first to make me feel like i was me just a memory

⟡

i met you at the wrong time, didn't wanna see i was busy with the stars, you were looking at me

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

The heavy rain pattering against the stained window is the only sound reverberating around the room, though you pay no mind as your focus remains fixed on your textbooks and scattered notes. Dark circles weigh under your eyes, and your lips curl into a tired frown. With a weary sigh, you bury your face in your hands, fingers tangling in your already disheveled hair.

Finals are right around the corner, and for weeks, your dorm has become your entire world. Days blur together as you devour textbooks, trying to memorize every word like it’s second nature.

"What the f—"

"Which dress is better?"

You flinch, startled by the sudden interruption. Your head jerks up, disoriented, the voice yanking you out of the storm of thoughts swirling in your mind.

“What?” Your voice is hoarse from disuse—a reminder that you hadn’t spoken since waking up. Like every other morning, your first instinct had been to dive straight back into studying.

Turning in your chair, your face softens slightly from its earlier concentrated state when you spot your roommate and best friend, Audrey, standing in the middle of the room. She’s holding up two hangers, one in each hand. On one hangs a thigh-length light pink silk dress, while the other holds a long white bodycon dress.

You tilt your head, considering, before a chuckle escapes. “What happened to that ridiculous glittery miniskirt you bought last weekend?”

“For the billionth time, they’re sequins,” Audrey groans, rolling her eyes with mock exasperation. She sets the dresses down on your rumpled bed, then plants her hands on her hips, brow furrowed as she envisions the outfits. “Besides, I couldn’t find a top to match.”

“Oh, come on,” you scoff, leaning back in your chair with crossed arms. “You’d look good in a garbage bag.”

"Sure, yeah, and pigs can fly." Audrey quips, picking up the dresses and moving to the full-length mirror beside your desk. She holds each one against her body, lips pursed in thought as she weighs her options.

"What's the occasion, anyway?" you ask, pulling your legs up to rest your feet on the chair, leaning your elbows against your knees.

"Carter’s throwing a party." She glances at you briefly, then holds up the pink dress, clearly having made her choice. "I wanna see if he’s single. If he is, I’ll make a move. Can’t keep pining over that blond guy I saw at the campus café last week. But I heard Carter’s been hooking up with Darcy."

"Wasn't she with Dylan?"

"No, that was Daphne."

"Why do all their names start with a 'D'?"

Audrey sighs dramatically, shaking her head. "Don’t know. They might be running some kind of secret alliteration cult."

With a laugh, you turn back to your desk, lowering your legs as the brief moment of lightheartedness fades and reality settles in. Your smile vanishes, replaced by the familiar weight of exhaustion. Right, you think to yourself. Back to the endless black hole of studying.

"Hey, you should come." Audrey's voice pulls you from your thoughts again. You turn to see her standing with the pink dress draped over one arm, a playful but earnest look on her face. "You haven’t left the dorm in ages. Come on, it’ll be fun."

"I don't know, Auds. I just... There's so much work to do, and—"

"Exactly! That’s why you need a break," she interrupts, crossing her arms in defiance. "You need a good distraction. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find a decent rebound to replace—"

"No."

Your voice is sharper than you intended, and the air between you shifts. Your brows knit together as a scowl tugs at your lips. "I don’t do rebounds. And I don’t need one. I’m over her."

Audrey raises a skeptical brow. "You say that, but you’ve been single for the entire year you two have been broken up."

"Yeah, and?" You shrug, the defensive edge softening slightly. "That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. I just… needed the time and space to, I don’t know, feel the breakup."

You sigh, leaning forward to rest your elbows on your knees. Your voice dips, quiet but unwavering. "We dated all through high school, Auds. We planned everything—college, careers, our whole life together. Then, one night, it was just… gone. I needed that break."

"I get it. No need for a rebound, then." Audrey’s lips curve into a warm smile as she gathers her wavy blonde hair, twisting it into a messy bun. She picks up the pink dress and heads toward the door, pausing to glance back at you. "I’m gonna go put my outfit on and do my makeup. But think about it, okay? I’d have more fun if you were there."

Her voice softens, the playful edge replaced by genuine concern. "I hate seeing you so groggy and drained over finals. You deserve a break."

With that, she disappears into the bathroom, leaving you alone with her words lingering in the air.

You prop your elbow on the desk, resting your chin in your palm as the decision weighs on you. What would you even wear? A quick mental inventory of your closet makes you groan. You’d gone a little too wild during the autumn sale at the mall, leaving your wardrobe overflowing with beige and brown sweaters—not exactly party material. Dresses? Practically nonexistent.

And besides, it's 8 PM on a Friday—you could really use a change of pace.

You let out a frustrated sigh, but it quickly turns into a chuckle. Audrey’s words must’ve gotten to you, because before you realize it, you’re pushing yourself out of your chair. The creak of the worn seat makes you certain it’s practically engraved a permanent imprint of your ass.

You stretch briefly, shaking out your legs, then make your way toward Audrey’s room. Maybe she’ll have something I like. You’re not exactly thrilled about diving into her wardrobe—her style is bold, flashy, and a little outside your comfort zone—but desperate times call for desperate measures.

When the bathroom door opens and shuts, you smile to yourself and stride over to lean casually against Audrey's doorframe. She looks up, raising her brows in surprise before a smirk tugs at her lips.

"Decided you’d go, huh?" she says, her tone teasing but approving. "You're so stubborn, sometimes."

"I’m not getting drunk, though," you say, crossing your arms as Audrey adjusts her earrings. "And I’m not changing my mind on that. Study routine starts back up tomorrow morning, and I don’t need a hangover slowing me down."

Audrey gives you an exaggerated eye roll but doesn’t argue, a playful grin spreading across her face.

You glance down at the long forest green dress you’re wearing, the silky fabric hugging your figure comfortably. A deep slit runs up one side, stopping at mid-thigh and adding just enough elegance to the look. You adjust the hem slightly, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement bubbling up. Maybe this night wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.

"Drunk guy about to vomit, coming through!"

The announcement has your eyes widening as you quickly move out of the way to let the drunk guy and his friend, who’s half-carrying him, pass by—probably headed for the bathroom.

You cling to Audrey's side, linking your arms together as you laugh. "We just got here, and people are already throwing up?"

She chuckles, shaking her head. "Oh, babe, you haven't seen anything yet. Frat parties are the definition of pure insanity."

The deafening music blares even louder as you step into the main room, bodies pressed together as they sway and jump to the beat. Some throw their hands up in the air, fully immersed in the chaos of the party.

Your eyes scan the room, landing on the stereotypical beer pong table surrounded by a pack of guys locked in a heated game.

"Where's your boyfriend?" you tease, nudging Audrey. Her cheeks flush slightly—a subtle reminder of her true reason for coming tonight, aside from giving you a distraction.

"Not my boyfriend," she corrects, flipping her hair off her shoulder. "At least not yet. But that’s not why we’re here." She turns to you, a mischievous smile curling on her lips as she grabs your hands. "You're here to have fun, got it?" she shouts over the music.

With a grin, you extend your arms up above your head, body swaying to the beat of the music. Audrey laughs, mimicking your movements with exaggerated flair, her hands on her hips.

"Yes! Who knew you could move like that, girl?" she yells, wooing loudly before twirling you around. The two of you almost crash into a random guy.

"Careful. The last thing I need is this guy hitting on me then saying he can ‘turn me straight’ when I reject him," you quip, placing your hands on Audrey’s shoulders as you keep dancing.

Time flies as you chat and dance with a few girls from your friend group, whom you ran into coincidentally. An hour melts away unnoticed until a wave of murmurs ripples through the crowd, followed by sharp screams. Your attention shifts, and you spot Carter entering the room, his arm slung around a girl who looks like she was sculpted out of plastic, clinging to him like a lifeline.

You glance at Audrey, noticing the frown darkening her face. A wave of empathy crashes over you. "It’s okay. He’ll probably dump her by the end of the night, and then you’ll have him all to yourself," you say with a gentle smile.

Audrey scoffs, her scowl giving way to a pointedly condescending look. "Fuck him," she snaps. "I’m not wasting my time on some man-whore. I’ve got options."

A proud grin spreads across your face, but when your eyes flicker back to where Carter stood, your smile falters. He’s gone. In his place stands a silhouette that makes your stomach drop and your heart stop cold.

Panic surges through you as your breath quickens. Sasha, one of your friends, notices. "Hey, are you okay?" she asks, concern evident in her voice.

You stumble, grabbing Audrey’s arm. "I need to go. Now," you mumble, tugging her toward a quieter corner. She furrows her brows but stays silent, waiting for you to speak.

"I just... fuck, Auds, I just saw her," you finally manage, your voice trembling.

"And?" Audrey raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. "I thought you were 'over her.'" She emphasizes her point with air quotes.

"I thought I was too." Tears prick at your eyes like needles as you drop your gaze to the floor. "It's been a year, Audrey. Why am I not over her yet?"

Audrey’s expression softens at the crack in your voice. She pulls you into a tight hug, her hand rubbing soothing circles on your back. "I’m so sorry, honey. You don’t deserve this."

You cling to her, letting your head rest on her shoulder. After a moment, Audrey pulls away, her eyes filled with determination. "No wallowing," she declares firmly. "You’re here to have fun, whether she’s here or not. It’s your second year of college, hun. Live it up and don’t let the past ruin your night."

With a chuckle, you wipe away the tears threatening to spill, careful not to smudge your makeup, and nod firmly. "You’re right. I’m here to take a well-deserved break, and I’m not letting some ex get in the way."

Spinning on your heels, you barely manage to stop yourself as you come face-to-face with the very person haunting your thoughts. A gasp escapes your lips, and your hand flies up to cover your mouth.

She takes a deliberate step to the side, clearing your path. Her tone is tinged with arrogance as she says, "What? I got out of your way. Isn’t that what you wanted?" Her brows knit slightly, her mouth pressed into a thin, unreadable line.

"I didn't... I just—"

"Come on, Y/N. Let's go." Audrey loops her arm through yours, her grip firm as she pulls you away. Her glare cuts through your ex like a blade, sharp and unwavering.

Audrey had always liked her when the two of you were together, but after the breakup, all those sentiments had evaporated. Now, there was nothing but icy disdain in her gaze, a silent reminder of how things had gone south.

"That was so embarrassing, oh my God," you mutter, your wide eyes reflecting your inner turmoil as you and Audrey walk back into the main room. Heading straight for the kitchen, you rub your temples, trying to soothe the headache forming. Without a second thought, you grab the bottle of vodka from the counter and reach for a shot glass.

"Hey, no!" Audrey snatches the bottle from your grip, holding it just out of reach. "You promised you weren't gonna drink tonight. She's so not worth the hangover."

You let out a long sigh, leaning against the counter with a defeated shrug. "Yeah, I know." You pause, a frustrated exhale escaping your lips. "I just can't stop thinking about... God, the fucking breakup. Everything. We weren't supposed to just throw it all away over some stupid reason. I miss her, Auds."

Audrey shakes her head. "No, you don't. You miss the memories, not her. There's a difference." She places the bottle and shot glass back on the counter, then grabs your shoulders firmly, pulling you closer so you’re forced to meet her gaze. Her eyes are intense, unwavering. "Listen, you're only remembering the good parts. It's your mind playing tricks on you."

You sigh again, leaning heavily against the counter as the frustration in your voice rises. "We never had any bad times, though. Just the breakup." Your voice cracks slightly, betraying the emotions you'd been holding back. "It was good—she was good. It just... ended, and I don't even know why anymore."

Audrey's grip on your shoulders tightens gently, her expression unwavering. "Exactly, babe. That’s the part you're stuck on. You’re romanticizing it because you don’t have the full picture anymore. Breakups hurt, even the ones that make sense, but that doesn’t mean you should let the past keep pulling you back. You deserve better than this."

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. "Do I? Because right now, it feels like I’m the one who messed it all up. Like maybe I wasn’t enough for her."

Audrey softens, pulling you into a hug before you can spiral any further. "Don’t do that. Don’t tear yourself apart over what happened. You’re enough—more than enough. And if she couldn’t see that, that’s on her, not you."

You bury your face in her shoulder, her steady reassurance grounding you for a moment. When you finally pull away, her determined gaze meets yours again. "You’re here to have fun, right? Not to relive the past. So let’s leave her back there where she belongs and get you back out there."

You nod hesitantly, letting her words sink in. "You’re right," you say softly, trying to muster a smile. "She’s not worth ruining my night over."

"Exactly," Audrey says with a grin, looping her arm through yours. "Now, come on. Let’s show this party what you’re made of."

You saunter back to the designated dance floor, forcing a grin as the music thumps through your chest, trying to shake off the earlier interaction. Sasha joins in beside you, her blonde, shoulder-length hair bouncing as she jumps and twirls to the beat. The faint brown of her roots begins to show, a faint reminder of the dye job she got two months ago.

Your friend Maeve stumbles into your line of sight, mimicking a ridiculous move, and you laugh despite yourself, grateful for the temporary distraction.

But then your gaze drifts, almost instinctively, to one corner of the room. There she is—your ex—leaning against the wall with that infuriatingly effortless coolness. And beside her, some brunette is clearly making a move, leaning in closer with every passing second.

You freeze, the air knocked out of you as if someone had punched your chest. A bitter scoff escapes your lips, shaking your head in disbelief. You swallow hard, the knot in your stomach twisting tighter, and mutter under your breath, "Of course."

It's as if something takes over you, a force compelling you to pull Sasha closer. You lean in and whisper urgently, "I need a favor. Please, just go with it. I'll explain later—don’t ask questions."

She blinks, her brows knitting together in confusion. "What are you—"

Before she can finish, your lips crash onto hers. She gasps in surprise but quickly responds, her hands finding your waist as the crowd erupts in cheers and whistles. You wrap your arms around her shoulders, leaning into the kiss as it deepens, your tongue brushing against hers. The world around you blurs, drowned out by the roaring excitement of onlookers.

Pulling away, you chuckle softly, your breath mingling with Sasha's as you glance around the room. The crowd is buzzing, their gazes locked on you—some bewildered, others clearly displeased.

But your attention quickly shifts, your eyes landing on Ellie.

Her gaze is piercing, burning through the room with an intensity that makes your stomach flip. The girl beside her tugs at her arm, desperate for attention, but Ellie barely spares her a glance. Instead, she scoffs, her jaw tightening as she shrugs off the girl’s grip.

Without a word, she turns on her heel, shoving past people as she storms toward the front door. The slam echoes through the house, leaving a charged silence in its wake.

You bite your lip, nerves flickering beneath your confident facade, and glance over at Audrey, who bursts into laughter, still processing what just happened. "You did not," she exclaims, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Thanks, Sasha. You're an absolute lifesaver." You flash her a grin, ignoring the bewildered look on her face as your gaze shifts toward the door Ellie just slammed shut. A swell of pride rises in your chest, a smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. For better or worse, you had gotten her attention.

After some time, you eventually say your goodbyes to your friends, including Audrey. You decide to leave early, your social battery completely drained. Audrey stays behind, her energy seemingly endless, as she's far more used to these party scenes.

Grabbing your black purse, you head for the door and step outside. Your brows lift in mild surprise when you spot Ellie sitting on the steps, her back to you. The only light comes from the moon and the soft glow of her phone screen. Silently, you move closer, glancing over her shoulder to see her engrossed in a silly dinosaur game.

A quiet chuckle escapes your lips as you tilt your head, watching her affectionately. She hasn’t changed a bit.

"I know you're standing behind me, Y/N. You're not slick."

Or maybe she has.

You sigh, moving to sit beside her on the step. The tension between you is thick and the weight of the moment feels suffocating, each second dragging like an eternity. “I wasn’t trying to... I didn’t mean what I said the way you thought I did.” The words tumble out, and you wring your hands nervously.

“I’ve just been so distracted with finals, and Audrey finally convinced me to leave our dorm to take a break. You being here... it just caught me off guard, and—” You groan, burying your face in your hands. “God, I should really stop talking.”

"Yeah, you should," she mutters, shaking her head as she pockets her phone and fixes her gaze on her shoes. Red Converse, the ones with doodles scrawled across the front. You recognize them instantly—they’re the pair you gave her for her birthday last year, covered in your handiwork. You can’t help but remember the laugh that erupted from her chest when your doodling spree ended with you drawing a Sharpie mustache on her face.

The memory tugs at you, bittersweet and unshakable. You pull your knees up to your chest, wrapping your arms around them and resting your chin on your forearm. "Still obsessed with dinosaurs?"

Her lips twitch, almost forming a smile. "Went to class in a dino costume once," she says, leaning back on her elbows with a casual ease.

Finally, her eyes meet yours, lingering as they trace over your face, your hair, and the way the dress clings to your body. She doesn't say it, but you can see it—the flicker of admiration she's trying to bury. "Pretty sure that says it all," she adds with a shrug, but the way her gaze softens betrays her indifference.

You tilt your head back, gazing up at the sprawling constellations scattered across the night sky, their brilliance stirring a quiet joy in your chest. Lowering your gaze, your eyes follow the gentle sway of the trees in the rising wind, their movement mirrored in the cool breeze brushing against your bare shoulders. A sudden chill ripples through you, sending a shiver down your spine—until something warm and familiar settles over you, enveloping you in its comforting embrace.

Glancing down, you realize it’s a jacket, worn and soft, smelling faintly of Ellie’s cologne. You look up, meeting her gaze with a hint of confusion.

“What?” she mutters, a faint scoff escaping her lips as she leans back again, feigning nonchalance. “Can’t let you get hypothermia.”

But there’s something in her tone—subtle, unspoken, and tender—that makes your chest tighten.

You slip it on, the warmth instantly comforting, before glancing back at her. “You’ll get cold, though.”

Ellie tilts her head, a pointed look settling on her face. “Right, because you forgot about my absolute freezer of a dorm. Felt like I was living in fucking Antarctica. Might as well have been an igloo.”

For the first time tonight, she chuckles—a soft, genuine sound that tugs at something deep inside you. Her smile is the same as it’s always been, the one you hadn’t realized just how much you’d missed. It almost makes you smile too, but the weight of everything unsaid lingers between you, dimming your brief moment of joy.

Your grin falters, a sigh slipping out as you lower your gaze. “What went wrong between us?”

The question hangs in the air, raw and vulnerable, carrying the weight of everything you’ve been too afraid to ask until now.

Her shoulders slump as her heartbeat quickens, the weight of the moment settling heavily between you. This wasn’t the kind of conversation she expected to have tonight—especially not with you. “You really wanna go there?” she asks, her voice low and hesitant as she leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees, legs spread slightly in a relaxed stance that betrays her inner turmoil.

You nod, your gaze steady and unwavering. “I need to know, Ellie. It’s been eating at me for a year.”

She exhales sharply, her eyes dropping to the concrete beneath her feet, as if it holds the answers she’s been avoiding. “I was in a bad place,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper. “I couldn’t handle a relationship anymore. I didn’t want to leave, but staying would’ve hurt you even more.”

Her words hang in the air like a weight, the raw honesty cracking through the wall of confusion you’ve carried since the breakup.

Your breath catches as her words sink in. You’ve spent so much time replaying the breakup in your mind, blaming yourself, thinking maybe you had done something wrong, and now hearing this explanation leaves you unsure of how to feel. Relief? Frustration? Sadness?

"You didn't think I deserved to know that back then?" you ask, your voice trembling slightly as you try to keep your composure.

Ellie finally looks at you, guilt flickering in her eyes. "I didn’t know how to say it. I thought... I thought it’d be easier if you hated me. That way, you'd move on."

You shake your head, a dry laugh escaping. "Easier for who? Because it sure as hell wasn’t easy for me."

She runs a hand through her auburn hair, tugging at the strands like she’s punishing herself. "I know. I messed up. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't know I hurt you this bad."

The air feels heavy between you, and for a moment, neither of you speaks. You pull the jacket tighter around yourself, searching her face for sincerity. All you find is regret.

You sit in silence, though it feels like an eternity. The quiet is only broken by the rhythmic tapping of Ellie’s shoe against the concrete, her leg bouncing nervously.

"Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

"Breaking up with me?"

Your voice is steady, but your chest tightens as you glance up at her, bracing yourself for an answer you’re not ready to hear. Bittersweet nostalgia churns within you as you watch her intently, trying to decipher her expression.

Ellie averts her gaze, focusing on the trees swaying in the breeze and the students passing by—some clutching textbooks, others laughing as they shove their friends playfully. "You kissed that girl," she mutters, her tone laced with accusation. "Looked pretty cozy to me."

"You still didn’t answer my question."

Ellie’s jaw tightens as she finally turns to face you, her eyes sharp and conflicted. "What the fuck am I supposed to say?" she snaps, her voice rising. "It’s been a year, Y/N. What’s my explanation gonna change?"

You rise abruptly and descend the steps, shooting her a sharp glare as your jaw clenches tight. The rain pelts against your skin, but you barely notice, too consumed by the storm raging inside you. "At least I’d finally get the fucking closure I need to move on," you bite out, your voice cracking under the weight of your frustration. "I haven’t been able to date anyone else because of you. Every time I try, it feels like I’m betraying something that’s not even there anymore—"

"I don’t want you with anyone else," she interrupts, her voice cutting through the night with a raw, unyielding edge. Her arms cross defensively over her chest as she steps toward you, her posture tense.

You scoff, throwing your hands up. "So, what? I’m just supposed to stay single forever? Never move on, just because you don’t want me with anyone else?"

"That’s not what I meant!" she retorts, her voice cracking slightly.

"Then what the fuck do you—"

Before you can finish, Ellie closes the distance between you, her lips crashing onto yours in an ardent, desperate kiss. It’s urgent, almost reckless, yet it feels natural—your mouths moving together in sync, reigniting a passion you hadn’t felt in over a year.

You gasp softly but instinctively kiss her back, your arms sliding around her shoulders as hers settle on your waist, tugging you impossibly closer, as if letting go would mean losing you forever. A muffled moan escapes into her mouth when your fingers tangle in her hair, tugging lightly.

Her hands drift lower, skimming over your back before settling firmly on your hips, grounding you both in the heat of the moment.

After a moment, she pulls back, both of you breathless, your foreheads lightly touching as your frantic eyes lock. A small chuckle slips out as you lower your gaze, your hands sliding down her shoulders and chest to wrap securely around her torso, pulling her into a warm hug.

"Shit, I’ve missed you," you murmur into her chest, your voice laced with quiet relief as her familiar scent fills your senses. You sigh contentedly when her arms tighten around you, enveloping you in the embrace you’d longed for.

"I’ve missed you too, pretty girl," she whispers, her voice soft but steady, carrying the weight of unspoken emotions.

When you first arrived at the party, all you wanted was a chance to unwind. Now, looking back, a simple break was far from what you ended up with—but what you got was so much more.

Ellie Williams is back in your life.