Imagine How Hard The "mostly He Just Ignores You" Line Would Go If They Had Delved A Little Deeper Into

imagine how hard the "mostly he just ignores you" line would go if they had delved a little deeper into aegon and helaena's relationship.

small moments when he reaches out to touch her cheek and she doesn't flinch, but he brings his hand back. unable to touch her.

him getting so drunk he can't see straight, to find his feet automatically making their way to her bed chambers. how he can only gain the courage to touch her, to kiss her, when he's wine drunk. he feels as if he's not pure enough, his mind, body and soul too tarnished to even deserve to touch his wife.

he whispers in between quiet sobs how sorry he is as he fucks so deeply into her. he catches glimpses of her moon-lit hair, the trickle of a tear going down her cheek. only he knows it's not her own, but his. her bitten lips, so soft against his. she makes not a sound as he visits her bed, laying there staring up at the ceiling. she looks past him, and how he wishes she could see him.

because he loves her, how he loves her. and he hates her. he hates himself.

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voodoo doll

Voodoo Doll
Voodoo Doll
Voodoo Doll
Voodoo Doll
Voodoo Doll

pairing: jj maybank x raspberry!reader.

summary: jj vandalizes the house of one of the richest kooks on figure eight in a weak attempt to get her out of his mind or himself out of hers but everything goes sideways when he realizes she may be as crazy as he is.

warnings: pre relationship. violence (not towards reader). vandalism. past trauma. jj's canonical insecurities and impulsivity. two idiots in love. slight angst. hurt/comfort. fluff. happy ending. english is not my first language.

𝜗𝜚 poppy talks₊ ˚ ・ i just love love love the concept of jayj falling for a kook and his internal conflict, plus i think a lot of 5sos songs fit so well to write jj x reader.

Voodoo Doll

Only a week had passed since JJ had ended whatever you had going on and it already felt like ages, it was probably because you had got too used to his presence in your life all day everyday whether it was texting or in your room or a hotel or your car in some parking lot late at night but it was frustrating.

It all started last summer when at the boneyard party you were too drunk to reconsider your choices and ended up hooking up with a just as intoxicated JJ in the backseat of your car. After that things were awkward between you two for a couple of days whenever you ran into each other but couldn't help but eventually crawl your way back to each other and do it a second time, then a third and a fourth... And before you know you become what could be called fuck buddies.

The problem was when it didn't end there, it kept going for months where you met for stress relief every time one of you needed it but... late nights started to turn into early mornings and you couldn't even remember when sex turned into talking. Just hours and hours of talking about your day, your week and eventually your struggles and dreams getting to know each other so deeply you could tell what the other was feeling without the need to say it.

You were in love... of course. Anyone who got to know the real JJ was doomed to fall for him, not just for his charms and flirtatious antics but the real him, the JJ who was the most loyal and supportive friend someone could ever ask for putting everyone over himself. He was special in a way you could never express with words but you tried when you talked to your mom about him, you didn't need to say much. It only took her a couple of seconds to see the spark in your eyes when you talked about him to know your feelings were genuine.

Lucky for you your parents were one of the very few ones at the island with three fingers of enough forehead to not be judgmental trash against the people on the other side, they had always taught you to enjoy what you had but to never give it for granted and to be aware that there were people who didn't had that much and it was definitely not their fault so when you talked to your mother about JJ she asked you to invite him for dinner. She wanted to meet the boy who had captured her daughter's heart and make sure he was worthy of it.

You could remember that day as if it was yesterday, how you jumped over him when he got into your room climbing for the window. JJ listen to you yap about how he could start using the door from now on and how your mom had invited him over for dinner, his arms were crossed and his face stoic while you could barely contain the excitement running in your veins pacing around the room already planning what you would be wearing but you stopped when the silence in his side had been too long. You had thought he loved you too, from the way your relationship had evolved to how he looked at you when you talked for hours about everything and nothing.

But you were wrong, at least that's what it looked like when he said he couldn't come tonight and that it would be better if you ended it right there before things could 'get ugly.' He wasn't rude but he wasn't exactly delicate about it and with just a couple of awkward excuses he left.

At first you had been sad, cried for a couple of days and didn't wanted to go out with your friends or even go to school but it only took you one party that your friends practically dragged you to, that day something switch inside you when you saw him making out with three different pogues during the night. You saw red, every fiber of your body screaming at you to do something stupid and so you did when you decided to sleep with his best friend that night in the same house he stayed in since he stopped sleeping at yours.

John B was a cute and nice guy so even if he wasn't exactly your type he didn't give you the worst night ever. Sadly other than making you feel good it only made you sadder and angrier when the next morning nothing happened, no fight, not even a glare and that only meant JJ had never mentioned you. You had talked about him to all your closest friends and even your mom when you thought things were getting serious but he had never even mentioned your name to his best friend.

Now all you had left to do was to stay alone in your house on a Sunday night with all this frustration pacing around your room thinking about a thousand ways to make his life miserable when you heard a loud noise coming from your front yard making you stop abruptly. Then another… then you could hear some glass breaking and you could only look around your room for something to defend yourself and your phone to call 911.

But nothing could have prepared you for what you saw when you opened the curtains of your window. JJ fucking Maybank was breaking your greenhouse with a baseball bat like he had just seen a ghost inside or something. The blood on your veins was boiling the second you saw him again, there was no rational thought inside your head when you took your own baseball bat from under your bed and stormed into the greenhouse.

“What the fuck do you think you're doing?” your harsh tone seemed to surprise him for just a second but he recovered just as quickly.

“What does it look like i'm doing?” he asked, standing straight and prideful in front of you as if he had just won some prize instead of vandalizing your home.

You didn't back up either, actually took a couple of steps closer to him and without giving yourself the chance to think about it twice you slapped him, hard, with all the pent-up rage you had been caring all this time apart. The sting in your hand almost made you regret it but you told yourself it was the least he deserved.

He held his cheek and you were expecting him to give you one of his cynical smirks but instead in his eyes there was just anger and a sadness she couldn't understand. “Why John B?” he asked as if just thinking about it made him want to go back to the chateau and break all his best friend's teeth.

“And why not?” you weren't showing any sign of remorse even if deep down a tiny part of you actually felt bad about it, still you felt that you had the right to do worse after what he had done to you. Sleeping with his best friend seemed only fair.

“He’s my best friend!” He slammed the baseball bat against one of the glass walls but without missing a beat you did the same with another one leaving him stunned for a moment.

“Like you care!” your normally non existent patience was specially thin today. “and it’s not like he even knew about me anyway!”

His face fell, guilt washing over him. “Don’t give me that shit again” he tried to look unfazed.

“Am I the one giving shit?” she scoffed, flipping her hair before loudly breaking another glass wall out of frustration “You came all the way here to destroy my house and for what? A hurt ego? You are a fucking child JJ”

“What are you doing? Stop that!” he took your wrists, making you drop your baseball bat. “I did this thinking you were gonna hate me! Never thought you were going to join me”

He looked embarrassed and slightly amused by your little outburst “Why would you want me to hate you?”

At first you didn't believe anything he said but slowly realization hit you, after all he had told you about his father and the childhood he had, he didn't go into much detail but he repeated some of his old man's words and you remembered one that specifically enraged you. You remember that day, JJ having to hold you down on your bed distracting you from going to his house to get Luke's ass.

He always told him he was trash. Always not only told him but showed him with his own actions that he was unworthy of love, so much and so many times he ended up believing it. But you knew the truth, just because his dad was incapable of loving someone that didn't mean he was unworthy of love. You knew because you loved him.

That's why he left when he felt things between you were starting to get serious, and that made you want to both hit and kiss him.

For the moment you choose the first one pushing him by his chest “You’re an asshole!” you hit him again and again until he held your wrists again, your eyes locked and even though he was trying to look ice cold his eyes had always betrayed him. “and I love you…”

JJ was frozen for what it felt like forever. “You have no idea what are you talking about”

“I'm perfectly capable of knowing what I feel!”

“No you don't!” his sudden snap made you take a step back but your eyes never leave his. “You’re just confused! You love all this kook-pogue thing, all you want me to do is to be your little doll that you can fix and show around!”

“That is not true!” what he was saying didn't make sense, because he knew you and you knew him enough to see it in his eyes. “and the worst part is that you know it, you know I really love you”

“Please stop” he was pulling his hair and pacing around trying to deny their feelings for each other but it was useless.

“JJ look at me” you tried to make him stop, to look at you in the eyes but hi turn his back on you, his breath was uneven and he had stop pacing but his right foot was still tapping against the floor.

You walked around him until he was actually looking at you, he looked like he wanted to cry but was too stubborn to do it in a moment like that trying to hold on to whatever ounce of pride he still had left. However all of it fell apart when you pulled him down by his neck to kiss him.

There was no resistance, his hands went to your waist like muscle memory, he pushed you against one of the few glasses that were still untouched by you both. His tongue find its way into your mouth and you could've sworn it had been months since you last felt him like this even if it only had been a couple of days.But the truth is that since the first time you spent the night together there was no way back and nothing, not even yourselfs was going to be able to tear your love apart.

“I love you too…” even if deep down you knew it, hearing it in his own words was what your heart needed to melt completely around him.

Voodoo Doll

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vcnillafairy - 𝜗𝜚poppy
𝜗𝜚poppy

“the bridge is crossed so stand and watch it burn”

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