Edgy Steven Universe HumanGems AU Headcanons

The most epics quotes of the best Abridged series

HELLSING ULTIMATE ABRIDGED Quote Game/Meme

Send in one of the following quotes from HUA to get my muse’s reaction!

There! I took the fucking shot! She’s dead! There’s blood everywhere!

Okay, Christ, fine, I’ll help you. But only ‘cause you’ve got nice tits.

Hey, (name)! (name)! This is awesome! You should totally join in! Seriously, there’s like 40 zombies in here! Just one shot in the head and they explode! Just like House of the Dead, only like, 100 times more awesome!

Oh, fuck the hell yes.

Sweet Black-fucking-Sabbath!

Oh, if it isn’t the Catholic Church! And what’s this? No Little Timmy glued to your crotch? Progress!

You done goofed.

…you Protestant fuck-bucket.

I’m a fuckmothering vampire!

You are reading your master’s mind! Put my head between your booooooooobs!

Oh, I’m sorry, I like to dirty talk when someone’s sucking my dick.

It’s just that I’m so agitated, because this blond little shit just strolled into my room, destroyed my 70-inch plasma TV, and is trying to impress me like I’m his alcoholic father.

Ah, fuck it. Skull-fuckin’ for everybody!

I would do fucking anything right now to get out of this.

BITCH, I EAT PEOPLE!

Oh fuck, that’s an anti-tank rifle. OH FUCK, THAT’S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!

What are you gonna do? Call that one guy who can stop me? What was his name…Michael McDoesn'tExist?

Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons.

What’s wrong, demigod? Just grow back your legs! Summon up your demons! Hit me! Fight me! Give me a hug!

You know, they say TV makes you violent. But I’d say not having my TV is making me pretty fucking violent!

Shut up and take my money!

Nazis~!

Master! My breasts keep getting bigger!

Jesus wants a hug!

HEYKIDSWANNASEEADEADBODY!?!

Right this way, Group B! That’s right, right in front of everybody else; you’re eighty, you’re used to it! We’re going to look at art and paintings, which I believe are also art! I dunno! I’m Cockney, I’m uncultured!

That’s right. I’m going to FUCK the fear turkey!

HEY DANDY DICK! You missed.

The fuck is this? The fuck is that?! The fuck are THOSE?!

I HAVE A FEAR OF FLYING, COFFINS, AND TIGHT SPACES!

You cheeky dick-waffle!

Zis is my favorite kind of ship — laden with blood und seamen.

Chuh-chuh-chuh-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!

Ah. The return of the “why” boner. With a vengeance.

By Jove, you fuckin’ header of a woman! You’re surrounded by fifty Nazi vampires, armed literally to the teeth, and what do you do?! You get out of your fuckin’ car, pull out your sword, cut off one of their heads, and yell “Come at me, you Kraut shits!” NO WONDER (name) wants to plow that virgin soil! I’M THINKING ABOUT GROWIN’ SOME FLOWERS MYSELF!

(thing) for days.

We were prepared for a full-on tactical assault. Instead, we got a volley of swastika-covered dipshits running dick-first into enemy territory.

Hey, if we’re killing Nazis, we’ll worship a side of bacon!

The most true kings.

Can you describe to me everyone in OW's face upon seeing: S/O and Mercy limping to breakfast from their soundproof bedroom, both covered in hickeys, bruises, live bites, and rope burns, unable to sit on their sore buttocks, and glowing like two full moons in the sky, goofy grins on their faces, so loving it's almost disgusting?

Ana: Raising a brow while taking a sip from her tea cup. She doesn’t judge but she knows damn well what is going on.

Bastion: Beeping sounds. Too pure to understand why today’s breakfast is so awkward. 

D.Va: Is playing Nintendo Switch, but gives s/o and Mercy an amused sideglance. 

Genji: Notices Angela’s bruises and he’s worried first, but as soon as he gets what’s going on he doesn’t say a word.

Hanzo: Pretends to see nothing. But on the inside he’s a little indignant.

Junkrat: Makes jokes about the bruises and hickeys. His neck doesn’t look any different though thanks to Roadie.

Lúcio: Won’t adress it because he is a good, polite boy. But his glances are a little curious.

McCree: Smirking. Asking if Mercy & s/o were having fun last night. Jokingly suggests he could join next time.

Mei: Gets very flustered and starts blushing. She would die of embarassment if she was in their place.

Orisa: Like Bastion, too pure. Asks s/o if they need medical assistance and suggests putting band-aids on the hickeys.

Pharah: Is a little jealous of the s/o. Just like her mother she is taking a sip and won’t say a word.

Reaper: He is the angry dad who wouldn’t comment their actions but look at them stern and disappointed.

Reinhardt: Sideglancing Ana. Gods, back then in the old days. His neck looked just like s/o’s.

Roadhog: He isn’t very talkative but an amused grunt can be heared. He is the one to blame for Jamie’s bruises, so he won’t judge.

Soldier: 76: Embarassed dad. He will blush a little and scold them for showing up for breakfast like this. At least cover the bruises up!

Sombra: Finger guns s/o with a filthy smirk. She loves it. Just go wild.

Symmetra: Does not care at all, she’s is reading ArchiTech Weekly. She knows what’s going on, but who cares.

Tracer: She will start giggling and cracking jokes about it all week.

Torbjörn: Immediately thinks of his wive and their young age.

Widowmaker: Is just as sassy as McCree, asking if they had fun and if it was good.

Winston: He doesn’t understand how s/o and Mercy could enjoy pain that much. He tries to hind behind the newspaper to escape from the awkwardness.

Zarya: Very loud advices on how to maintain a healthy relationship based on trust and love. She means well but Zarya please, lower your voice sweetheart.

Zenyatta: Is a little confused by what’s going on, but as soon as Genji tells him what’s going on he gets flustered.

I’ve been cackling about this for like five minutes now

How do you think the dolls and Conner would react if they were suddenly in the world of RozonRozark's "Cheshire"?

Conner is not happy. He acts as Marinette's friend. Gives Adrien dark looks when he tries to approach her. Gives Chloe evil glares. And is completely unaffected by her attempts to blackmail him since joke's on her! He's from another universe!

...

Chaton doesn't like that Mama is hurting. He clutches onto her and will. Not. Let. Go.

Not until Plagg tries to help. Then he clutches Plagg just as insistently. And takes to petting him.

Chaton will heal their hearts with cuddles and pets!

...

Littlebug disappears when Conner isn't looking.

She returns a few hours later.

Chloe does not return at all.

Killing off characters: the shoulds and shouldn’ts

1. Why you should

The death is a major plot point

It reveals some shocking plot twist

It supports your themes/what you’re trying to say with your book

Your novel explores the afterlife

You are George R.R Martin and the selling point of your work is that everybody dies

It suits the genre/mood of your novel

2. Why you shouldn’t

The character isn’t serving any purpose (this isn’t the Sims)

You want your readers to be shocked for the sake of being shocked

You want to be edgy

You think your MG story needs more gore

You want to romanticise grieving/loss

3. How you should

This really depends on your genre and target audience

If you’re writing something that isn’t intended to be graphic/traumatic, you can stick to the impact the death has on the other characters. If your novel explores illness, focus on that rather than on the disturbing death scene itself. Perhaps you’re writing a drama/tragic romance - you might want to ease up on the gore here. For these genres, I would suggest focusing on the emotional aspect of the death - the sobbing, the last words, the bright white lights (whatever floats your boat). Think of Mufasa in The Lion King - the actions are suspenseful, but we don’t see him being trampled with his guts spilling everywhere. But it’s still one of the most impactful deaths in fictional history.

If you’re writing in a more mature and gritty genre (like thriller, dark fantasy or crime), you can go all out. If there’s blood and guts, you readers probably want to see it in vivid detail to get their violence fix for the day.

Whichever genre your novel falls into, you should also go with what feels comfortable to you. Even if you’re writing adult dark fantasy, you don’t have to write graphic violence to make a character death impactful.

4. How you shouldn’t

Please don’t let your character have a three-pages-long monologue after they’ve been stabbed in the throat. It’s not realistic and it’s often very boring. Yes, a few well-written last words can have a great impact. Just make sure that your character would realistically be able to speak at that point and that it doesn’t become a cheese fest.

Unless you’re aiming for very dark/nihilistic humour, afford your characters some dignity in the way they kick the bucket. (e.g. don’t use the phrase “kick the bucket”). Having someone slip on a banana peel and then choke on a pretzel is a little ridiculous and will make the entire story seem silly. Once again, this really depends on what you’re going for. If your genre is serious and your character is important and beloved, try for emotion rather than whimsy.

Don’t let your characters die only to be resurrected again and again and again. Look, I love Supernatural (long may they reign), but even I have to admit that the Winchester brothers’ luck with death has become a bit ridiculous. Doing this takes away from the impact of the death - it removes the fear and suspense, and will leave your readers emotionally stunted.

5. Who you shouldn’t

Your only female character in a bid to make the male hero feel something and become a better person

Your only LGBTQIA+ character, who is just too pure to live in this terrible world

Your only character of colour, who dies to save the white hero

Your only disabled character, who can now finally find release from life with disability

The one character who has never experienced a sliver of joy and bears the brunt of the tragedy, right when happiness is finally within their reach

The main character in the middle of the story - unless you have a REALLY good plan for what happens next

Reblog if you found these tips useful. Comment with your own thoughts on killing off characters. Follow me for similar content.

a big commission from a while ago :O a lot of fun to do!

its Infinity stone diamonds!