Every Enemy's POV Ever When They Fuck With Cale's Slacker Plan

It would be funny if there was a subreddit taking about the ghost of Jason Todd hunting the Wayne family. And a lot of badly taken photos of him around his father and siblings feeding the conspirators minds.

Headcanon that since Jason can’t go out with his family publicly, what he does instead is show up in random disguises.

Bruce is chatting up some socialites at a gala, talking about the joys of fatherhood and how rewarding it is. Meanwhile he made eye contact with Jason disguised as a waiter twenty minutes ago, and is currently trying to stop his eye from twitching.

Dick is speaking to a third grade class as a part of the Bludhaven Police department outreach program, except when he walks in Jason is sitting behind the teachers desk, playing the role of substitute.

Babs can’t help but stare when Jason hands her a coffee from behind the counter of her favorite coffee shop. (His name tag reads Peter, and for a second she thinks she’s actually lost it).

Tim walks into Wayne Towers one day and on his way in, he waves to his secretary- lo and behold Marjorie has been replaced by Jason. It takes him three hours to notice.

Cass walks into ballet class to discover her teacher had to take a sick day- his replacement is Jason in a beret who talks in a terrible French accent the entire class, only to drop it at the very end to talk in a thick New Jersey accent. Her entire class talks about it for weeks.

Stephanie hails a cab on her way home one night, only to find Jason driving. She’s not sure how he pulled it off or how he got a cab, but her mind is effectively blown.

Duke is on a school trip to the natural history museum, and when the tour guide introduces himself, Duke can’t help but role his eyes. Jason gives a surprisingly good tour, even throwing in some tidbits about a robbery that went down just last week that the Signal stopped.

Damian’s encounter happens when he’s with Jon in metropolis. He’s watching Jon play baseball, and when Jon steps up to bat, he can’t help but notice a the umpire looks a little familiar.

Ok but like what if Lian one day, instead of Jayjay, calls Jason Jaydad?

She always heard Roy call him Jaybird or whatever, and she knew that was not really his name. Anyways, she meets Bruce at some point, and he eventually calls him Jaylad, but maybe their relationship is not great yet, so he calls him Jason… and so Lian makes the most logical connection a 5 year old would make: Dad calls him Jaybird (because he’s Jayjay and he’s Dad’s bird), Jayjay’s dad calls him Jay-son (because he’s Jayjay and he’s his son), it is only logical that Lian calls him Jay-whatever-he’s-to-her.

For some time she still calls him Jayjay, cause she’s not sure what he is to her? He is Dad’s bestest friend, and he comes over a lot, and he picks her up from preschool sometimes, and he makes her pancakes with blueberries when she asks nicely, and he reads her books at night, and he makes the extra effort to make the best voices, and he hugs her, and he kisses Dad sometimes, when they think she’s not looking, and— Oh.

So, after she has done a great lot of thinking, she comes to the conclusion that Jayjay must be her Dad too, but he’s not Dad. Jaydad? Hmm doesn’t roll off her tongue the way Jayjay does, but maybe if she tries…

Jason cries the first few times she calls him that. Roy is amused (he also cries a little).

they're ✨magical girls✨

Jason, newly back from the dead: *walks into the room, sees Bruce, turns and leaves*

Bruce: well, there's my monthly dose of Jason

Me thinking about how Kim Roksoo couldn’t keep any friends throughout his school year because of the curse from the GoD. Always leaving him no matter how hard he tried to keep them.

Also thinking about how Lee Soohyuk and Choi Jungsoo also probably introduced him to basic things friends do for each other.

KRS staying in the office finishing up paper work - or whatever he did in the office while under LSH - instead of going to lunch with his teammates. CHS waiting for him to finish up even if it take him 30mins before he’s ready. Then going to lunch with him late.

Or showing up to a company dinner with all the seats full at the restaurant. Him thinking about turning around and going home only to find out LSH especially made sure a seat was saved for him even if that caused conflict elsewhere.

I can imagine him feeling all ‘warm and fuzzy’ inside. Being confused with why they were doing these things for him. (Despite ‘those things’ being basic things all people would do with their friends)

The GoD’s curse is so unimaginably cruel even diluted. It also puts into perspective how tough it must have been for KRS after LSH and CJS died. Thinking about the Soo dynamic from when they were together on EARTH 1 always makes me sad.

obsessed with like, Jason who absolutely refuses to reconcile with the bats. he wants no part in that family and will not talk to them under any circumstances. but he's legally dead with no friends and sometimes he gets sick of being completely by himself and wants to have company. so.

Bruce: hey Alfred have you seen my-

*comes into kitchen to see Alfred calmly preparing dinner while Jason Todd, Killer Red Hood, silently does paperwork while sat on the corner of the kitchen counter*

Bruce:

Bruce: uh-

Tim, doing homework at the table: don't mention it. if you acknowledge him he'll leave. he just likes being around people sometimes.

the bats have to start treating him like a stray cat, letting him go to them and acting completely unbothered by his presence because if they even make eye contact with Jason he'll jump out the window and they 1. won't see him for a month and 2. will start to see a lot more murders cropping up around gotham.

eventually it gets to the point where Dick will come to dinner to see the rest of the family wordlessly ignoring the brick shithouse of a man who is just sat on the floor of the dining area reading a book and he has to just. take a breath and pretend Jason isn't there. calmly stepping around him without acknowledging him. Alfred will silently place a plate of food by the guys elbow while speaking to Damian about school. When they decide to move from the table to the tv room for a movie night none of them can even look around when they hear him eventually follow just to sit in the corner of this room instead.

Bruce: I'm concerned, this is abnormal for Jason. what if he's been drugged with something? or he's trying to gain sensitive information?

Damian: actually he used to do this a lot after he came out of the Lazarus pit. he liked to sit in and watch me train, and occasionally we'd find him sat by grandfathers feet while he ran meetings. Mother says it's important to let him settle, because it's likely that he's simply craving human intimacy on his own terms for once.

Bruce, crying: oh

Jason still refuses to say a word to any of them unless it's in costume, and even then it's the same old 'i'm not your son! i'm not one of you! fuck off!' shtick like normal. they just have to accept him sneaking into the house every now and then too.

one time Tim needs Red Hoods info on a case he's working and since Jason's been sat on the floor against the wall of the bat cave for the past 45 minutes just. staring into space and vibing. he risks sliding the file across the floor towards him before pointedly turning back to the batcomputer, the info he needs marked clearly. five minutes later it's wordlessly slid back, info filled out and Jason refusing to acknowledge Tim's existence again. it's the only way he'll communicate with them.

after a while it gets to the point where Jason will straight up go to bludhaven and break into Dicks apartment just to silently sit in the corner of the room and Be Around A Familiar Person. Tim comes back from his lunch brake at WE to find him sat on the edge of his desk, working through a case. They work in silence for the rest of the day and when Tim leaves Jason just follows. They get a batburger together but the second Tim slips up and asks how his day was he's off like a shot. Damian regularly eats lunch at school on the roof while Jason plays mario kart on a DSI next to him. Batman will be 4 hours into a solo stake out when civilian Jason will silently slide up next to him with a crossword. they never talk. Jason still makes it clear that he's pissed at Bruce. Bruce doesn't know what else to do but let him be and hope eventually, with enough time, things will progress even further.

Dick, whispering so Jason won't pick up on the fact that he's being perceived: are you sure this is normal

Damian: is anything about any of us normal

Tim: he's got a point. at least we know Jason's watching us. I did this shit all the time before I was Robin, and none of you ever noticed me.

Dick:

Tim: sometimes its comforting to be in the same room as people you're familiar with, even if you can't handle interacting with them.

Dick, crying: ok

john winchester voice oh yes i love my son adam so much. and his brothers ummmm. looks at smudged writing on hand. Sad and Dead

Hot girl shit (grown ass man)

Just another day of geeking over TCF, remembering that the generic prince charming who we got introduced to at the beginning of the story got to shoot the main villain in the face with a gun, wore PJs to the final battle because he forgot to put on armor, and became a gaming addict to the equivalent of an MMORPG/Empire Minecraft server

Starting to re-read TCF and I noticed how every time Cale earns an ancient power, he starts calling them out like “how annoying/I wouldn’t do that”, and etc. HOWEVER, he never says anything about the Super rock because they are the same!!!! (At least until this part below 😂😭)