Sometimes You Gotta Obliterate An Island Or Two, You Know? Is Cathartic, Alberu Should Try It Some Day

Jason has a life-sized cutout of Bruce Wayne in his apartment, and he argues with it a hell of a lot. When Dick dropped by one day and saw it, Jason convinced him of how cathartic it was. Dick brushed him off, telling him to find healthier coping mechanisms, only to go out and get one of his own.

Reasons Cale Henituse is the funniest motherfucker:

*People cheering for him in the streets* Hm. Don’t like that.

His self-proclaimed speciality is just disassociating on command

Someone: *helps him* Cale: *sighs* I guess I have to solve every problem you’ve ever had

When learning a language, memorised all the swear words before anything else

“I don’t like cats,” says Cale, holding two kittens tenderly, plotting a rebellion to instate a third cat as the new emperor

Single father of *checks notes* uh… 3 to 14 children,

All he wants is to retire to the country; can’t stop getting into international incidents

His relationship with the crown prince is basically: *points at each other* Bastard

Keeps telling people not to trust him while saving their asses from certain destruction

This loser thinks he’s ‘quiet’ and ‘good at keeping still’

Cale: *smiles gently* Everyone: oh god stop What the Fuck

‘Accidental Baby Acquisition’ trope but it’s ‘Accidental Family Acquisition’ and they’re all agents of chaos

“I heard you got hurt,” says a concerned child. “Yes, I coughed up blood.” Cale comforts, comfortingly.

[Girl hits on him] No thanks [Guy hits on him] No thanks

Everyone: you’re a good person Cale: incomprehensible, have a terrible day

Named his adopted son, a dragon, ‘Dragon’

Tells people to drink tea before pulling out something that will make them spray it everywhere like a cartoon

*to a 13 year old* No you can’t train to become a knight you’re too young *to a 5 year old* Alright tonight we’re gonna blow up an island and participate in the slaughter of half a race make sure to protect me well

His entire fucking backstory, like what? What???

Raon: I’ve only had this human for an hour and a half but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone on this continent and then myself Cale: That’s terrifying please stop talking

Never thinks, at any point, to tell anyone that he has a healing power 

He’s THE most extra bitch. Orchestrates his b&e’s like he’s conducting an opera, always plans for maximum Dramatic Effect

*The crown prince doesn’t help in a terror incident* That’s fine because he’s weak. *Finds out he’s strong actually* Bastard??????

Gives his kids an extravagant allowance. Doesn’t let them spend it and buys everything for them instead

‘I should have just got beaten up’, Cale thinks, war waging around him. ‘That would be far less annoying.’

get me on the call with eric kripke because I need to know his version of the supernatural finale. I just know it would've been a banger. it would've been the darkest of shit and horrifyingly gory and too tragic to even rewatch but it would give you a fetish so bad you'd find yourself going back and watching it while you gag and jack off at the same time. it would've been wacky enough to even have him cancelled by a section of the fandom.

Just imagine KRS clocking the batfam secret identities the first time he arrives on Gotham. But the contract to be the Wayne's bodyguard is so juicy he just say "fuck it, we ball" and applys to that shit.

And he gets hired because Batman thinks he is suspicious asf because he has no background and recently arrived in Gotham. And then he gets to know him and can't let this depressed man alone or he will find a way to die.

And KRS is just confused by those rich kids, strangely nice and way too welcoming for their own good. So he decides they need to be protected by all costs.

Cue, KRS using instant the first time Two Face or someone interrupts a gala and beats the shit out of him, because, the audacity of this bitch to point a gun to his family.

DC x TOTCF/LCF/TCF

For a while, the Batfamily thought that KRS was a clone of Batman

There was a theory that he was another of his bio-sons that he didn't know about but it was dismissed because KRS was too old for that

Idk, just an idea

I love them, we love a supportive father and his children

I love how this one panel unironically shows their entire dynamic throughout the series

Just a proud dad and his overpowered Dragon toddler

💖

Currently rewriting a songfic that I made years ago about Cale and the Alcoholics™ (Bud, Cage, Taylor) partying

Is in Spanish but I can try write it in English, is not gonna be so good because I never took an English lesson in my life and a bot is helping me with the grammar lol

Boop 🌟

KRS would always be my pretty princesses (could throw me across the room with one hand)

Dw guys you can both get what you want for the very low price of ! Losing everything

OML YES PLEASE ‼️‼️‼️⁉️⁉️ I need the batfamily failing to keep up with the team red in action. Peter and Wade being agents of chaos and Matt is so used to it that he is just as chaotic as them.

Jason joining them just because Bruce is looking increasingly more defeated the more he is in the red's ™ presence.

+Tim joining forces with peter because between the two of them there's 0 impulse control and a lot of IQ

dc and marvel crossover (slash peter parker in gotham prompt) but all of the members of team red end up in gotham without knowing that the others are stuck there too

cue matt, wade, and peter trying desperately to figure out what’s going on for weeks before eventually running into each other like

(bonus points if they all befriend a different wayne and it happens at wayne manor)

Spider-punk and Noir in btsv scene leaked