/rp

you don’t FUCKING undertale (understand). tsukasa tenma

this is the guy who is a direct parallel to mafuyu asahina. who, y’know

y’know. very narratively and thematically and aesthetically different but at the same time they’re so fucking similar and i am DYING for colorful palette to let them meet because goddammit. kindred spirits. and while i firmly believe that at least mafuyu will register just how similar they are (not sure about tsukasa because he is very much “i am closing my eyes. i do not see it.”), i want to see what direction the actual writers will take it.

we’ve got two kids who have been emotionally neglected in a big way - who have been forced into these perfect little boxes. the prim and flawless daughter, always at the top of her class, always gentle and polite, never causes a single problem, always smiling. VS the big strong older brother who can take care of his chronically ill little sister and who never needs to be taken care of himself, who never causes any more problems for his already stressed parents, who never cries, who never stops smiling.

in their desperation for even a crumb of approval and recognition from the two people in their lives who should have been more attentive and should have been there from the very first moment ANY semblance of a problem began manifesting (their parents) - they have contorted themselves to these boxes. so much so that they have completely lost who they might have been before. all that’s left is what everyone else wants them to be.

and now we’re stuck in a sort of endless cycle of existential dread: “How much of me is real? Do my friends love me for me, or the mask? If I take off the mask, will I still be loved? If this is all I know, can I call this the real me? How am I supposed to find the real me, if I can’t? Who the hell am I?”

these are questions no kid should be asking themselves. these are questions with no answer. but at the same time, they are questions that have to be faced and answered - in one way or another. you must come to your own personal interpretation of them, or you’ll never find peace. they’ll always haunt and torment you.

(side note that i almost forgot about: while mafuyu is very much putting up a front and acting like someone who doesn’t exist, has never existed, and never ever will truly exist, tsukasa’s not going that far? it’s not a full mask. more like, he knows who he wants to be, he knows how much he’s capable of, and he just. wasn’t achieving that naturally. so he took the “Fake it till you make it!” approach. but he didn’t completely destroy his own personality and replace it with something 100% false like mafuyu did. he just kinda…deleted the less savory parts. the parts that might make people worry about him instead of smiling bright - the parts that are still very much a lonely, scared child left alone in a dark house, wondering if his little sister would die; wondering if he would lose everyone who has ever cared about him; wondering if he would be forgotten and abandoned, left behind in a pile of worthless, insignificant bits of trash like a worn-out stuffed animal. [i don’t think it’s a coincidence that his SEKAI is populated by so many stuffed animals, which are typically thrown out or tossed into storage and forgotten about as the children who once depended on them grow up. and i believe kaito’s motherly disposition towards them reflects tsukasa’s lingering desire to just… be taken care of. for once. so he can feel safe and like he’ll never be abandoned, like his loved ones will never stop needing and wanting him in their lives.] because pretending these feelings don’t exist totally won’t bite him in the ass later.)

and even with that in mind? funnily enough, mafuyu’s farther along the road to recovery and peace than tsukasa is. we could sit and debate about the healthiness of her methods - but here’s the thing: she sees the box she has trapped herself in for years, and she has separated herself from it. she understands that that is not who she is. and she’s slowly figuring out who the real mafuyu is. the person beneath layers of expectations and pressure and masking.

tsukasa hasn’t even fucking started yet. (ha. get it?)

he’s deeply afraid of and resistant to confronting his past and his true feelings. we see it in the beginning of wonderlands x showtime’s story. his SEKAI unsettles him. which is so interesting because every other character goes to their SEKAI and they’re like, aw hell yeah. love this place. they feel right at home. after all, these places are culminations of their feelings. they were made FOR them. like, the one other time we’ve seen two characters resist their SEKAI was shiho and honami!!

because they were denying their true feelings. because to embrace their true feelings would mean pain and regret and guilt and a million other things they were too afraid to deal with.

so with that, we have confirmation that tsukasa didn’t just “forget” why he decided to pursue acting. he was actively repressing those memories - those feelings. and possibly having to face them scared the shit out of him. because once they’re faced, he’s just a hair away from uncovering why he repressed them in the first place, isn’t he? within an instant, the magical wonderland mirage can fall apart. and without that… what does he have? what does he have to offer? to justify his existence? how can he make people smile if they know he’s suffering beneath the sparkly grins and showy costumes? how could he be so selfish, putting his problems onto others? didn’t his parents always tell him to be brave and strong and not to cry and put on a great big smile instead? he needs to listen to them; he needs to make everyone happy. he needs to be a star.

(and i do have to say - the use of “star” to define himself does disturb me on some level. because stars don’t live forever. and the bigger and brighter the star, the shorter its life cycle. stars expand, and then they explode - one last dramatic, breathtaking display; the ultimate show - and then they fizzle out. and then they die. i’m going to just leave this analogy where it is.)

i think another reason why tsukasa was so disturbed by his SEKAI is because he recognized in an instant the… falsehood of it. it’s just like him. all noise and distractions and bright colors and confetti and theatrical drama that distracts you from seeing what’s, really, juuuuuuuuuust beneath the surface. emu, nene, and rui feel more or less at home in it because it’s just like tsukasa!

the tsukasa they’re allowed to see, anyway.

and i do think rui’s constant poking and prodding at the inner workings of the place goes a little deeper than just his natural curiosity. he’s an intuitive person - he knows how to dig under people’s skin, how to get them to open up… but i think, to a degree, tsukasa is kind of a mystery to even him?? and he doesn’t question him right to his face because he already knows it won’t work. luckily for him, there’s a magical place created by tsukasa’s feelings that he can investigate. if he can learn more about SEKAI, he’s bound to learn more about this guy he knows and calls a friend and yet at the same time, he doesn’t know at all…????

alright, anyway. backpedaling to mafuyu for a moment - like i said near the beginning of the post, i want her to meet tsukasa. i want something to happen where they are forced to interact for longer than 5 seconds. because i think… meeting her would spark a chain reaction in tsukasa. no i don’t want tsukasa to have a mental breakdown but it’s gotta come out at some point because i don’t like the star analogy you guys.

i say mafuyu would see herself in tsukasa because like. in an Instant, she singled out mizuki as being even more suicidal than she is. despite mizuki’s bubbly and bright attitude. she sees through people’s shit without even trying. i don’t think it’d be any different with tsukasa.

“Tsukasa, are you really happy?”

My Artwork This year (2021)

All of them are in Instagram

I know I just made a post regarding "Timmy's Secret Wish", but I have more thoughts.

Mostly, I think that Timmy was slightly justified in making the wish. Was wishing for everyone to stop aging extreme? Yes.

But look at this from his perspective.

You are ten years old. You're parents are neglectful, you have an abusive babysitter that you're always stuck with, and you're life at school isn't much better with bullying and failing grades.

Then you meet these two fairies who are meant to be there for you. And unlike your actual parents, they take being there for you very seriously. There's only one caveat, when you become an adult they'll disappear and you'll forget about them.

But that's far away. Far far away.

Now, you're life is better. You have two people who genuinely love and care about you like you're their own child, and you love and care about them like they're your actual parents. In fact, they're more like your parents than your actual parents.

Not only that, but the fairies end up having a kid. So, now you have a little brother. A little brother that you love so much. It finally feels like you have the family that you've always wanted.

But now, the reality of what's going to happen in the future is staring you in the face.

In less than 8 years time, at midnight on your 18th birthday, you are going to wake and they'll be gone. And there's no chance of ever seeing them again. To make it all so much worse, you won't mourn them. You won't shed a single tear for their absence. Because you won't remember that they ever existed. Maybe you'll have a vague feeling of missing something, but that's it.

The thought of dealing with losing not only your family, but the memory of them as well, would be horrifying for an adult to deal with. For a child, it would feel like the world is coming to end and there's nothing they can do to stop it.

So, of course Timmy made such a drastic wish. What child wouldn't alter the course of time to stay with their family?

remembering that peri is related to jorgen due to him and cosmo being cousins. and that Big Daddy is his GRANDFATHER is hilarious, bc like. Damn. Guy has connections

TSUKASA TENMA IS IN CAUTIOUS HEART CLASS BECAUSE HE ALWAYS MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T WORRY HIS FRIENDS AND FAMILY. TSUKASA WOULD USE HIS WORDS AND TONE CAREFULLY AND EVEN LIED TO MAKE SURE THEY WON'T CATCH ON THE PROBLEMS HE'S DEALING WITH SO HE WON'T MAKE THEM WORRY ABOUT HIM.

the better me.

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HIPPTY HOPPTY 

GET OUT OF MY PROPOERTY 

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

mumza lore mumza lore

add a little bit of ~spice~

here's philza minecraft seeing the love of his life mother to his child for the first time in a long time (with mandatory angst for the soul)

It threw him off at first. It was a relatively normal night after Wilbur retired to bed but seeing the black veil of death shadowing his front yard was... unexpected.

Kristin always liked to make it dramatic, let him know she was coming. She'd open her own pockets of the universe just for the two of them, just for the night.

(she couldn't ever stay long, he loves her but would never forgive himself if she got in trouble over him)

When Ranboo started asking questions he tried his best to act oblivious but he was just so excited that he couldn't help but let a few things slip. Luckily, Ranboo has plenty of other things on his mind at all times and Phil stalled long enough for Ranboo to leave so he could get out there.

He ran as fast as his feet could carry him, even getting a little lift on his good wing before coming to a halt right at the fence line.

What would she say? What would he say? Does he look okay? Did he shave? Should he have brushed his teeth?

There wasn't enough time for all of those questions though because as more and more crows came out of the woodworks screeching incomprehensibly, Phil was tackled by a rush of cool breeze, long brown hair, and feathers.

He only got a glimpse but if he could describe Her he'd only have one word:

everything

Her eyes held every star in the sky, She smelled like every flower in the forest, Her laugh sounded like every happy song he's ever heard.

and She was gone.

He hoped and prayed to every god that would listen for just one more minute .

(it never worked in the past, but that's never stopped him from trying before)

He looked behind every tree, under every leaf cover getting only small glimpses at a time.

He was getting further and further from the cabins when he got to the top of the trees, taking a bird's-eye view when he saw her again.

Over the horizon the sun was rising and the cabins were bathed in soft morning light, he was a few hundred blocks away but he's never seen Her more clearly in his life

"Kristin," it's barely a whisper but he would scream if he could

She's standing over Wilbur's bed smiling softly, lovingly, gently

(for a moment Phil panics, wonders if she's come back to return Wilbur to the afterlife)

She plants a kiss to Wilbur's head and cards a hand through his hair before disappearing again

(Phil can hope all he wants, but he knows he won't see her for a while

he wonders if Wilbur will remember anything when he wakes up.)

He already misses Her.

His shoulders feel a little heavier, the emptiness in his chest a little bigger, but he knows he should be grateful.

He trudges home through the snow, watching the last of the stars fade out in the morning light and prays to every god he knows for just one more moment.

(he knows it won't work, it never has in the past.)

I love this friend group

So apparently Rui's classmates consider Rui as someone tall/huge. I mean make sense since he's 180 cm.

Also looking here, Rui may be the tallest compared to his classmate. Miyake (the shy one) is considered to be small and Hayashi (glasses with short hair) looks like he bends over less than Rui.

On a side note: Everyone looks great here. Tsukasa's arm hogging all the space as per usual. Mafuyu and Shizuku looking the most perfect of the bunch, Airi couldn't catch a break from Tsukasa even when taking a photo, Tsukasa and Taniyama looking like besties and also Rui looking like he had fun.

So anyway I think it's interesting that both More More Jump and Wonderlands X Showtime use a more simplified name writing when both Leo/Need and Nightcord uses their usual writing names.

I guess it's because both mmj and wxs target audience are more family oriented. So writing their names like that helps the younger children to read their name. Like how Saki's name on her bunny plushy was a simplified name writing.