This Reminded Me Of Hot Fuzz But Gotham Version.

You Make Miso Scared (DC x DP)

When the ghost, Phantom joins the Justice League he's a real boon. His range and strength of powers are unmatched. Casualties, injuries, even length of time taken to complete battles comes all the way down.

One day his colleagues ask about his fights where he's lost. Kind of morbidly they want to know, what kind of beings could threaten their most powerful member. What was out there and dangerous enough to really threaten the being that made Darkseid cry. Batman wants to know because he's not happy with his threat assessment or contingency plans for a creature that has admitted to being able to crack their planet like an egg.

Danny tells them about his earlier fights, several of them. He edits the stories thoroughly to obscure his own identity, the fact that he's human sometimes, and that his friends had to help him (protecting their identities most effectively by denying their existence). Danny finds that the gimmicks of his rogues makes his audience laugh. So, he gets swept up and maybe tells a few more stories than intended.

And at the end of each story, he'd explain what he learned from being bested by that enemy. Then how he used what he learned to get them next time before their evil plan could be completed.

"And it was soup time for Skulker!" "And I souped her!"

It was a little unsettling to be honest, but they figured it was a translation issue from Ghost to English or something with his accent. He probably wasn't saying soup.

Then, next week there is a battle against another ghost. Danny will tell them later that an Ancient went rogue, though they have no idea why this eyeball is trying to kill everyone. They get to see Danny actually working hard against a foe. Though, they're all unconscious by the end of the fight.

During the debrief a few days later they notice Danny with a weird accessory. A thermos.

"What you got there buddy?" "You know the eyeball was causing trouble! I had to make soup out of him. For punishment."

Danny wasn't letting this lunatic out for at least a fortnight.

Batman updates his threat assessment with Superman's troubled blessing.

Phantom's extraordinary abilities - above those of other ghosts - seems to be derived from his cannibalistic tendencies.

It would be interesting if Pit madness acts like a parasite. The reason it normally goes away with other is the Pit Demon starves and dies after eating excess Ecto left on the body. The more liminal one is, the longer the pit demon survives. The thing is Jason is undead on his own, crawled out of his grave and everything those 'produces' his own Ecto that the the Pits feed on to survive, leaving very little to Jason, just enough to survive and have alight enhanced healing.

The fun part starts when Vlad over shadows Jason and the Pits found a better source than a 'malnourished' revenant. Just Imagine Vlad accidentally catching the Pit parasite and it all transfering to Vlad. A more abundant and healthy source and can cause more proliferation. Unlike Jason whose mostly alive, shit start to hit the fan for Vlad because he's only half alive and sustained by his ghost half so he's a lot weaker now to reserve energy.

This also allows Sam, Tucker and Val to take center stage since can't let Phantom catch Ghost Parasites. Fenton parents hunting Plasmius for 'being and evil ghost hive mother' and 'trying to take over the amity ville with it's evil ghost spawns'. Not to mention how the rest of the Zone will treat Plasmius. "Ew, where have you been. It's what you get for overshadowing random people"

I want Jason and Danny get a relaxing doctor's visit, complete with 'vaccinations', ghost health talks, and out-patient prescriptions. Danny and Jason teaching each other, one being a ghost while the other, proper vigilante training on top of school work. There are no ghost incidents because no Ghost wants to catch Vlad parasite/Pit demons that's proliferating. Just them hiding away in the fortified Fenton home tutoring Danny because he desperately needs help. Jason seeing the Team Phantom in action, the Fenton Parents, GIW, Vlad masters with the perfect excuse that the only report he has on Phantom is him being a halfa, half human, thus by default became a gatekeeper as well as a diplomat of good reputation to the other side and 'definitely' not a 'violent' menace nor non-sentient or malicious.

When Mr. Lancer got promoted to Vice Principal, the school hired a new English teacher, an out-of-towner who wasn't phased by all the ghost stuff. For the first assignment of the year, he asked them to write a paper on any Shakespeare play they'd ever read.

The Monday after the paper was due, Mr. Todd asked Danny to stay after class. Danny frowned; he thought he'd done really well on the paper! He turned it in early and everything!

The teacher waited until everyone had left before asking, "Kid? Is everything okay at home?"

On the desk lay his paper, titled: "Why I Should Totally Kill My Godfather: An Essay About Shakespeare's Hamlet, I Swear".

Anchor

Tim Danny knew he would go far for family but it wasn't until now that he realized how far he literally would go.

Danny looked at the positive pregnancy test on the bathroom counter and tried to stop his tears both the joyful tears and the ones of anger.

He hates Vlad now more than ever for how he never decided to stabilize Dani. Even now that Danny is no longer Danny Vlad’s mistakes will still come back to bite him. 

Dani's decision to help Danny figure out what was going on ended up with her almost dying. Her core would have been destroyed if Danny had been a second later. 

Everyone's pretending things are back to normal.

Danny now has to figure out ways to hide this and how exactly he's going to tell anyone. The obvious answer is to not tell anyone and go into hiding, but after everything that happened someone's going to come look which means Danny is going to have to hide in plain sight.

Sometimes Danny regrets trying to help because in the end all it got him his throat slit, his entire identity ripped away and assassination attempts in his own home. Danny has no idea why he thought it would be any different now that Bruce is back.

Jason is barely civil with the family.

Dick has left the second he no longer has to be Batman. 

Stephanie has joined Cass and Hong Kong.  

Barbara is only talking to people when she's on Oracle Duty.

Damien is one bad Mission away from trying to kill him again. 

That's not even mentioning Bruce who is just living in ignorance that everything has not gone awry.

Denial is a strong thing. 

Danny doesn't even know why they agree to this. well they do know but they don't know why they didn't talk it out first.

they'd gotten quite good at getting all the logistics before they do something rash but they'll always be a Fenton running head first. All they want is for Dani to be safe after everything that happened; they are all secondary to Dani's well-being.

Danny forgot how unconditional love felt they are not going to lose the one person who cared about them 

Dani knows her options as a homeless runaway are limited. So, sometimes, she likes to leave it. The entire planet, that is.

She likes exploring space. There's so many alien cultures, and as a ghost she can travel very fast. After all, why would a ghost need to obey the laws of physics or thermodynamics?

Small problem though.

She came across a spaceship full of weird goods. It apparently belonged to some merchants, and she was having a little fun digging through their stuff. She didn't know what half of it was, but it looked cool!

The problem happened when she phased through a really weird, super reinforced crate; and found slaves.

Naturally, she freed them. Since none of them had any real combat training, she led the charge to take over the ship and kick the merchant slavers out.

Things...spitballed.

She accidentally got labeled as a Space Pirate, and is wanted by the Lantern Corp.

So why not live up to it?

While Danny and Dan get their educations and do boring hero and everyday life stuff, Dani become one of the most notorious pirates in space. She targets merchant ships and checks for slaves, and if there are any she forces the merchants out in the emergency exit pods and steals their ship.

It's gotten to the point where in just three years, she has a fleet.

She just wears a helmet so that Vlad or Danny or Dan or the GIW doesn't get any ideas and try to hunt her.

Then she gets word about a huge attack on Earth.

And, well...she's from Earth. She may be a wanted criminal, but she isn't about to forget where she came from!

She routes her fleet behind the enemy and launches a surprise attack. She has her people choose their favorite Earth hero and wear their symbol, so that Earth knows who to shoot at and who's trying to help.

Because of the magic users she knows the Justice League has, she can't go ghost around the magicky ones or they'll mess up her groove.

She grabs the heroes, escorts them to the Watchtower, gets in a fight, and is forced to remove her helmet.

The heroes manage to finally activate Earth's defense system.

Meanwhile, Dani finds herself face to face with a Green Lantern, who did have his ring aimed at her, but it's starting to dip to the floor.

"...You can't be older than fifteen. You're a kid?"

"You're...one of Bruce's kids?" Superman asks, voice strained.

Dani decides she doesn't want to deal with this.

Dani drops a smoke bomb/flashbang and books it; she has a ship to get back to.

collection of posts for a very specific dynamic

This reminds me of the Old Batman and Robin Show re-runs when I was kid. The catchphrase "Holy (Insert random shit), Batman!". a Quick google search this shows up.

"Holy homework!"

"Holy conflagration!"

"Holy schizophrenia!"

"Holy sudden incapacitation!"

"Holy heart failure!"

"Holy murder!"

"Holy felony!"

"Holey Rusted Metal!"

Holy Tintinnabulation!

Holy Uncanny Photographic Mental Processes

Holy Knit One, Purl Two

Holy Bouncy Boiler Plate!

Holy Caffeine!

Holy Hole in a Donut!

Tim: Shit.

Bruce: Language!

Damian: Kol khara!

Bruce: Language!

Steph: Now that's one crazy motherfucker

Bruce: Language!

Jason: Who the fuck are you calling a "son of a bitch," you pigeon-livered saucy lackey!? Maltworm spat out of a mouldy rogue! Rare parrot teacher! Your—

Bruce: —Language!

Dick: Yeah! What the frick-frack tickity tic-tac snik-snak, bro?

Bruce: ...

Bruce: What the fuck.

a lot of females always say they hate her because jane reminds them of themselves: don’t hate yourself for these traits! they’re perfectly okay, and things are hard sometimes. it’s hard to be in love with someone who barely notices you, or it’s hard to have your family manipulate you. but these things are okay to have experienced and tried to ignore to protect yourself—just like janey did!

these things don’t make jane weak! she’s still a strong person who is funny, hot-tempered and starting to refuse to take any more bullshit. she’s just a human: with a rad taste in television!

Cryptid Bruce

Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon

Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled

“We’re being haunted.”

“….”

“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”

And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.

The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.

Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.

The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.

“Hi, daddy.”

—

Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.

The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.

Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.

—

Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.

He thinks he’s a vampire.

Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.

“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”

“…is this a joke?”

“Nope.”

“A dream?”

Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.

Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.

—

But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.

“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”

Bruce shrugs.

“No. *No*. Explain.”

“I…can’t.”

“You said no secrets, B!”

Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”

Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.

“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”

It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.

And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.

“….B?”

“…”

“You know what I’m going to ask.”

“…”

“*Bruce*.”

“No real names, Robin.”

“No one can hear me!”

“…I didn’t kidnap him.”

“What his name?”

“Timothy Drake.”

“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”

And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.

“Um…hi.”

“B, we’re keeping him.”

Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.

—

Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.

“Uh.”

The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.

“Hello Father.”

What the fuck.

Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.

“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON’T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”

“…he just appeared.”

“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”

“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”

“My name is Damian.”

“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”

Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.

—

Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.

Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.

—

Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.

“Can you get to the point?”

Red Hood pops out next.

“I’m getting bored.”

Red Robin follows.

“This is sad.”

Damian.

“Scum.”

Batman sighs.

“Why are all of you here?”

“Missed you.”

They all chime in.

The robber.

“How…how the *fuck-?*”

“Language. There are kids around.”

“B, I’m 23.”

“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”

“…’s comfy.”

“I’m eighteen???”

“F- Batman! I am not a child!”

There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.

“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”

And then Red Hood shrieks.

“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”

“He called me small!”

“…you are.”

“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”

The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.

Batman sighs.

“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”

“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”

Masterlist ✨✨✨

Start here! :

The Origin

The rest ! :

(X means unfinished)

(All of these are connected but can be read as stand alone)

Meeting the phantomily:

Crack meeting the batfam :

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5 the final!

Hide @ dick’s apartment :

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5 the final!!

You can’t bench me! :

Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part4 | Part 5| Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 the final!!

ice cream| intermission | bonus

The Batburger saga : X

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3| Part 4 | Part 5| Part 6

Asks:

(Ask are always open!)

Fav DPxDC trope?

ships in the AU?

First hug?

What about other villains?

You might also like!:

Good goons!

Explosions!

Or commission me on Ko-fi!

Continuing on a bit from this post:

Tim, complaining about Bruce grounding him again: It doesn’t even make sense! It’s like everything I do is a problem now but I’m not doing anything different!

Kon, who thinks a grounding is when you get sent outside to do yard work: Have you tried digging a hole? Like a lot of holes.

Bart, whose punishments are typically doing chores without powers: Or raking leaves?

Cassie, who knows exactly why Tim keeps getting in trouble: … Does Bruce know you’re at Titan Tower?

Tim: No, why?

Cassie: No reason.

***Later that day***

Jason: Why is Tim digging a grave in the front yard?

Dick: He got grounded again.

Jason: So… is it for him or Bruce?

Dick: Not sure yet.