I Think Puss In Boots And Sun Wukong Would Be Friends

The fact that Rise gave Splinter not one but TWO love interests will never not be funny to me.

Making myself laugh at an au where it’s Peter Parker, became a vigilante at age 10, has been one for like 16 years now, so 26 years old max. and still, inexplicably, has his identity a complete secret, and so his file with SHIELD, if they knew him, should have stuff about him having spider abilities and a healing factor and a spider sense that helps him sense danger even without seeing it, etc

And so Spiderman thinks that his file, because they don’t know anything, just looks like a ton of question marks

But instead, it’s full of their observations that they’re 100% sure are correct based on misunderstandings and misconceptions, and that file just keeps leading to wild rumors, which end up just hiding Spiderman’s identity better, so the file’s like:

Spiderman must be about 50+, clearly knows how to fight, knows First Aid, has trouble working with others, knows military lingo (he figured it out as a kid due to various vigilante situations that put him near them), is clearly trained (they mostly think this because of the experience he picked up and because of his spidey sense), is a genius super scientist who makes his own equipment (this parts true but they don’t know he’s been mutated, they think it’s all equipment), etc

So they’re all like, obviously, Spiderman used to work for SHIELD or something (maybe there’s a rumor or they did actually used to use a weaker version of the soldier serum on agents, so they all think at most Spidey has weak super strength), definitely a government scientist at the very least, went on the run as lone wolf soldier after he witnessed some corruption*, maybe the government even killed off his family when he refused to do something corrupt, and now he wears bright clothes because he’s sick of working in the shadows, etc

(*misunderstanding based on the fact that one of the reasons why Spidey refuses to join SHIELD is because of how often it gets revealed that Hydra infiltrated it but then it gets covered up, and it’s getting covered up because they don’t want citizens to lose faith in SHIELD, like I have no doubts every single time Nick Fury is going out there and getting rid of them all, but to outsiders it just looks like SHIELD refuses to take accountability and is covering it up because they’re still there, and Peter’s Jewish ass can’t take any chances with that)

Rise Ramblings #325

So, we also know that this boy is bad at basketball.

Like, really bad.

Yeah, th-that was just terrible.

But, it made me think.

How is this ninja scientist so bad at this game? It’s just hand-eye coordination, after all.

I mean...

His shots aren't terrible, but they just bounce right off the hoop/backboard. It's almost as if he's aiming at a target-

So, wait. What’s the difference between basketball and pizza darts?

...the arc. Arcing the ball requires a light hand. In other words, it requires restraint.

I believe, that Donatello has great aim, but is terrible at restraint because, when he tries to toss something, it misses the mark.

But, when he throws something...

it’s deadly.

why do so many fics portray octavius as being super uptight and serious like have you seen him in canon this man is an agent of chaos and a complete enabler and enjoyer of jed’s unhinged behaviour

But also I'm not 100% sold on the idea that Medic revived Sniper like, intentionally to be malicious to the tfc people. I think he just wasn't fully integrated into them yet, and thus didn't really see how it'd be "playing both teams (fortress 2)" to revive Sniper after one of his new teammates shot him, bc he is still on Sniper's team in his head. I don't really think Medic seemingly not understanding that When We Shot Him We Wanted Him Dead You Useless Kraut Fuck was an act - obviously this is hard to read over webcomic text, but his sheer glee when he's going on and on about his Great Medical Achievement seems genuine. Think it's best to read Medic reviving Sniper not as a "Medic hates the tfc team the entire time he's on it" beat but as a "Medic actually likes his friends and wants to do things to help them" moment

Hear me out baby dragon Malleus and child Riddle meeting as a hypothetical

Cause the way you draw those two is either the cutest of children or CURSED CHILD

It happened beause... let's say time travel shenanigans. Malleus was sent to the future, landed straight into Riddle's head, and now, Riddle has fully shifted into Caretaker mode because he is fully convinced that Malleus is a baby. Let's also say this happens before he meets Trey and Chenya so he still has his 1 entire hour of free time.

I think that Riddle would try really hard to be rational about it, but man, he is also a kid that found a whole ass dragon. He is happy, enchanted, and he is having the best damn summer of his life. He can't tell it to anyone, because he has no friends AND he is sure his mom would take Malleus away AND he is sure the police would also just take him away, so he just tries to spend as much time with Malleus as possible and makes sure he has everything he needs.

They spend a lot of time together. Riddle believes he is finally making a little friend, and then, Malleus disappears. Magic is over, he is back in the past, but Riddle has no way of knowing this.

So, he just assumes he imagined the whole thing. Silly him, why would a dragon meet him like that? Those are super rare, and there are no faes around. He must have read something about dragon fae and dreamed something very sweet for himself. It's fine. He tries not to think about it. Hurts a little. Life goes on, regardless.

Years pass, he enters Night Raven and then...

...well, suddenly he is forced to remember that little lizard he met years ago.

gl!ranboo and gl!charlie are basically brothers btw. if you even care.

me: my soul is dark and black nothing brings me joy

*five asks klaus to do the duet with him*

me: THEIR JUST SO CUTE OK

Trump is ruining the #Freedom Fries tag rn. Like dang, let us ship SoldierSpy in peace.