It’s like a full-blown addiction, but instead of drugs or booze, it’s this fictional guy who’s got her wrapped around his finger. She knows it’s fucked up—knows she’s out here daydreaming about someone who’s not even real—but who cares? This guy? He’s everything. He’s charming in the worst ways, flawed in every possible sense, but there’s just something about him that has her hooked. He doesn’t even know she exists, but she’s ready to fight anyone who says a word against him. Seriously, she’ll defend his honor like it’s a fucking life-or-death mission.
He’s a goddamn trainwreck, but he’s her trainwreck. She’ll put up with all his baggage, his emotional scars, his dark sides, because somehow, that brokenness makes him feel more real to her than any real guy could. He’s messed up, but she’ll fix him in her head every single time. Maybe it’s that thrill of knowing he’s dangerous and untouchable that makes him even more irresistible. He might break her heart in a hundred ways, but it’s the kind of heartbreak that makes her feel alive, even if it hurts like hell.
And it’s never gonna happen, right? She knows that. He’s not gonna waltz into her life and sweep her off her feet. But it doesn’t matter. Because she gets to have him on her terms—no messy reality, no awkward first dates, no risking her heart for real. He’s always there when she needs him, in that perfect little bubble of fantasy she’s built for herself. And maybe she’s a little crazy for it, but at least with him, she’s never disappointed. Every time she replays his scenes, reads the fanfics, imagines their future together—it's like a high she can never quite shake. She knows it's all just a mindfuck, but she’s never felt more alive.
my old redacted wip
decided to post this bc i love how i rendered his face 🥹 but i’ll let it stay wip for now
For the writers struggling to rid themselves of the classic ‘said’. Some are repeated in different categories since they fit multiple ones (but those are counted once so it adds up to 100 new words).
1. Neutral Tags
Straightforward and unobtrusive dialogue tags:
Added, Replied, Stated, Remarked, Responded, Observed, Acknowledged, Commented, Noted, Voiced, Expressed, Shared, Answered, Mentioned, Declared.
2. Questioning Tags
Curious, interrogative dialogue tags:
Asked, Queried, Wondered, Probed, Inquired, Requested, Pondered, Demanded, Challenged, Interjected, Investigated, Countered, Snapped, Pleaded, Insisted.
3. Emotive Tags
Emotional dialogue tags:
Exclaimed, Shouted, Sobbed, Whispered, Cried, Hissed, Gasped, Laughed, Screamed, Stammered, Wailed, Murmured, Snarled, Choked, Barked.
4. Descriptive Tags
Insightful, tonal dialogue tags:
Muttered, Mumbled, Yelled, Uttered, Roared, Bellowed, Drawled, Spoke, Shrieked, Boomed, Snapped, Groaned, Rasped, Purred, Croaked.
5. Action-Oriented Tags
Movement-based dialogue tags:
Announced, Admitted, Interrupted, Joked, Suggested, Offered, Explained, Repeated, Advised, Warned, Agreed, Confirmed, Ordered, Reassured, Stated.
6. Conflict Tags
Argumentative, defiant dialogue tags:
Argued, Snapped, Retorted, Rebuked, Disputed, Objected, Contested, Barked, Protested, Countered, Growled, Scoffed, Sneered, Challenged, Huffed.
7. Agreement Tags
Understanding, compliant dialogue tags:
Agreed, Assented, Nodded, Confirmed, Replied, Conceded, Acknowledged, Accepted, Affirmed, Yielded, Supported, Echoed, Consented, Promised, Concurred.
8. Disagreement Tags
Resistant, defiant dialogue tags:
Denied, Disagreed, Refused, Argued, Contradicted, Insisted, Protested, Objected, Rejected, Declined, Countered, Challenged, Snubbed, Dismissed, Rebuked.
9. Confused Tags
Hesitant, uncertain dialogue tags:
Stammered, Hesitated, Fumbled, Babbled, Mumbled, Faltered, Stumbled, Wondered, Pondered, Stuttered, Blurted, Doubted, Confessed, Vacillated.
10. Surprise Tags
Shock-inducing dialogue tags:
Gasped, Stunned, Exclaimed, Blurted, Wondered, Staggered, Marvelled, Breathed, Recoiled, Jumped, Yelped, Shrieked, Stammered.
Check out the rest of Quillology with Haya; a blog dedicated to writing and publishing tips for authors!
Instagram Tiktok
angel's theme earrings
+ alt version with kisses below :3!!!
chu chu <3
AFAB Ren & Redacted! dw they're still nonbinary with he/they pronouns ^-^
I think that more fanfiction should be written with the aim to tackle the original meaning of hanahaki. Because when the concept of hanahaki disease was originally created, it was intended to be a metaphor for suppressing one’s feelings.
Your feelings are this beautiful garden of flora inside of your chest. When you express how you feel honestly, you allow for it to grow freely. But when you hide how you feel out of fear of rejection, and try to make it smaller and smaller, the flowers become cramped inside of you, until you choke on your own feelings. Every flower you cough up is something you’ve felt, but refused to say.
The whole “dying” thing is intended to be more symbolic especially. You’re killing off bits and pieces of yourself and how you feel, because you’re afraid to express yourself.
It’s not really supposed to be, “The one I love doesn’t love me back, and I’m dying from it.” Rather, it’s more along the lines of, “Repressing your emotions is bad for you, and it’s better and healthier to express them freely, even when it’s scary.”
Which is to say that, one, the cure for the disease should be telling the person that you are in love with how you feel. How the other person feels about the person afflicted should have nothing to do with it, as the trope is meant to be about feeling your emotions unapologetically.
And that, two, it’s not an inherently romantic trope. Obviously, it has romantic applications, but it can be written for any situation where a character is hiding how they truly feel. This can include a refusal to address a specific trauma, a desire to indulge in something that they’re ashamed of, and even really practical things, like wanting to ask one’s boss for a higher position.
Although (as an aromantic person myself) I don’t agree with this conclusion about the trope, this application would also avoid people calling it arophobic. When the thing killing the character is a refusal to be honest with themselves, rather than an unrequited love, it’s on nobody’s hands but their own to save their life.
There are a ton of ways that this interpretation of the hanahaki disease could be applied in new and interesting ways in fanfiction, and I’d love to read what things people could come up with!
A continuation of one of my rants/drabbles in the 14dwy server ehehe :3
mdni !! / 14 days with you / sfw / redacted belongs to @14dayswithyou
I think Redacted really needs an Angel with empathy. One who can understand him thoroughly and treat him well and respect that his psychological state and needs are different than the average person. Then Redacted could eventually learn through imitation and with support to have more passion and emotion for other things in life, including himself.
Very very slowly, he and Angel can condition his self-destructive, dark thoughts to lessen in frequency and intensity through open communication and a lot of missteps, relapses, and determination. They will be there for each other throughout the whole thing, the other's unending devotion being the driving force behind their desire to improve themselves.
And then... maybe one day... perhaps there will be a moment of peace, scattered bits of tech surrounding Redacted and Angel on the floor as Angel's eyes shine, locked on their beloved spouse in encouragement, prompting them with questions and nods. Redacted obliges their interest, happily rambling about his newest personal project while they fiddle with the pieces surrounding them, fastening, unplugging, and reattaching parts. Not that his attention is ever fully away from Angel, as he clearly sees them try to stealthily take a picture with their phone.
He blinks, fingers pausing their motion as he turns with a confused grin, a question hidden in their words, "'Saw that, Angel."
His Angel gives him a smile brighter than the sun, explaining, "I've never seen you look so carefree. Wanted to capture it."
And all of a sudden, it hits him. His swirling thoughts weren't oppressive, their nerves weren't frayed and hyper aware of any little threat, any misstep in words or gesture. They were... happy. Content. Excited. Warm. A million emotions and thoughts were present, yet none of them were overwhelming or sharp, wearing at their subconscious. Their smile, the one they had learned to hide so well, along with any vulnerability, was easily on display now. He blinks, hardly believing it as his eyes stay locked with his Angel's. His Angel.
A confession slips out, hesitant and full of apprehension, "I love you.”
Their Angel responds, each word leaving their mouth with intention and intense devotion, “I love you. More than anything.”
[Redacted]’s eyes widen in shock, not at Angel's words, but at himself. A choked laugh of disbelief escapes him, but Angel can see his face clearly as his eyes fill with tears, unblemished with the deep pain and darkness that had bloomed behind them when such assertions had been made in the past. Angel immediately senses the change and leans forward to push back the bangs he used to hide behind, hand lingering on his cheek.
[Redacted] places a hand over theirs, leaning into their touch as, for the first time in his life, there’s not a doubt in his mind when he breathes out his response,
“I believe you.”
[redacted] beloved