Day 4: Happy Eclipse Y'all 🌑 🌷

bitches be like “she’s my babygirl” and it’s a grown ass man

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

Exactly

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

Reblog if you want your followers to anonymously ask you one thing they want to know about you.

Shout out @blackkitten23 and @gleefulmusings

Favorite character 💜

reblog to give your headache to elon musk instead

happy appreciate a dragon day everyboldy

Hey y'all👋

You ever get bored and random stuff pops up? Well, I ended up thinking of bad Star Wars-related puns:

-How does Anakin get his mail?

Through C-3PO

-What's Liam Neeson's favorite drink?

Qui-Gon Jinn

-What if Jar Jar couldn't swim in the Empire Strikes Back?

I guess Jar Jar Sinks

-Where do you go to get ink done?

Tattooine

-What does Samuel Jackson carry with him?

Mace Windu

May the Fourth be with you.

(I'll probably think of more later)💜🍪