Me Actually Not Being Able To Start A TV Series For Years I've Wanted To Watch Since 2018

"Lessons in Love" - my first ever fanfic in the making (Law & Order: SVU)

I actually can't quite believe that I've posted 8 chapers on ff.net so far, but it does feel nice to have this little "side project" and to simply write something that brings me joy, distracts me from my current, difficult personal situation, and maybe even makes another person smile or feel the feelings TM or whatever. Reading fanfiction is just so magical - one can read exactly the type of stories one feels in the mood for, and there are so many crazily talented writers out there that it makes my head spin!

Can't wait to continue my story, hehe :)

"Thin Frames" - a Cabenson Fanfic full of suspense, sexiness and sweet moments!

Title of Fic: "Thin Frames"

Author: DAxilla (rest in peace <3 Your works of (fan)fiction have touched so many hearts and continue to do so!)

Fandom/Pairing: "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit", Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot

Synopsis: Not an alternative universe here - in this story, Olivia is working as the dedicated detective she is while Alex is exactly the passionate and ambitious ADA we've all come to love on the show! However, DAxilla gives us just what our hearts need: a beautiful, very well written, emotional love story between these two beauties. She manages to convey their thoughts and feelings with depth and never strays Out of Character, but at the same time, the fic is not your typical slow burn - however, there are still some major bump in the road to domestic bliss and hapiness because Alex is scared of letting Olivia in while Olivia has a hard time figuring the younger woman out. All of this is settled into the crime plot of the fic that really would make a great SVU episode! While the Cabenson moments in this fic are priceless (and the main reason we've all read it, c'mon!), the storyline based around the brutal mutilation and murder of upper-class business woman Samantha Wainscott, who also happens to be the daughter of Judge Wainscott, is such a creative one and composed with so much care, knowledge and detail that it left me awestruck more than once!

It's not as slow-paced as your typical slow-burn but at 31 chapters long, I can guarantee you that it makes for an compelling story that will have you go through aaaalll kinds of emotions.

I can't even express my gratitude that such brilliant pieces of FanFiction exist - and this fic is also the one that truly makes me yearn for a show that openly portrays the relationship between a strong, caring, badass detective and her beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated, no-nonsense blonde ADA girlfriend!

Rating: M

There was no space left on the couch. It was Maura's couch, in Maura's house, and it was Sunday night and most of the Rizzolis were over - even Lydia and TJ - and most of the Martins were over as well, Cailin and Hope clustered around Angela, the three Rizzoli siblings on the couch, watching the game.

It was Maura's house, and there was nowhere for her to sit.

Years ago she'd have probably left, even though it was her house, not expecting anyone to notice, but Jane looked up and caught Maura's eye, brow furrowed, and Maura walked over and sat in Jane's lap.

Tommy and Frankie looked over for a moment, but there was a yell from the tv that had the Rizzoli siblings distracted immediately. Maura wondered if Jane had even noticed, but Jane's hand rested on her back to steady Maura when Jane leaned forward to grab her beer, pulled Maura closer whenever someone scored. Maura heard a slap, then a whine from Tommy.

"I wasn't gonna say nothin'," he complained, and Jane chuckled lowly.

When Maura looked up, Hope and Angela were staring at them they way they'd been staring at TJ all night - like they were witnessing something precious.

This is such an important take on the "Dead To Me" ending! Yeah, I know. The series is a dramedy and bad things are supposed to happen but I don't feel the final 3rd season really gives credit enough to Judy. Of course, good people die in horrific ways every day. Sometimes it seems that the better and purer a person, the more bad luck they have in life (yeah, I'm talking about reality here - sadly, this has been my experience too often by now). But this story about a very special friendship, a very close bond between two complex, layered female characters really did not deserve this ending. And to me, this whole "bury your guys" and "heteronormative happy ending the billionth" DOES seem kinda problematic. It's like there is no actual desire to commit to the bit and make room for true diversity in TV. It's like, in the ending, the female lead still has to find her happy-ever-after in a male protagonist, and there is this whole emphasis on a heteronormative, "traditional" family life. The bond between Jen and Judy was strong and wonderful and ran deep. There was literally no point in just killing her off. It maddens me that it seems that especially queer women in the media that are not "everybody's darling" always seem to have to pay some kind of price - it's the same with Marla Grayson in "I Care A Lot" - how often do male, heteronormative protagonists get away with atricious deeds?! Yeah, Marla is defo NOT a good person, but there seems to be a whole double-standard-thing going on. And I think the problem can be rooted to the simple fact that the whole entertainment business consists of people and in people in this society, there still is ingrained a whole bunch of problematic, toxic belief systems and stereotypes. I do hope that by raising our voices and questioning such storylines, there will be more happy endings for LGBTQIA+ characters. We deserve them as a community <3

Judy was a queer character in a queerplatonic relationship in which, after years of suffering, frustration and anxiety, she could have gotten to fulfill her dreams, having a family, raising three children, one of them from the very beginning, side by side with her partner.

I don't really care how neatly killing her fits into the bury your gays trope, but the truth is we could have gotten a beautiful, original, queerplatonic found-family ending in a show that entirely revolves around the unlikely but infinitely loving relationship of these two women, and instead we got heteronormative ending number 93837637373738338 and dead queer number 827266262727117.

It looks like true partnership between women, be it romantic or platonic, can never survive heteronormativity. One or both will die, one or both will marry a man and leave.

Truly unoriginal and disappointing. What was even the point of making Jen pregnant if they were never going to raise that child together. What was even the point of giving Judy cancer, just to further traumatize Jen after the death of her mother and husband, just to further traumatize the boys after the death of their dad.

Killing one of the main characters is always an easy way out, I know, it packs an emotional punch and fits the fact that the series is ending because it's the literal ending of the character, but jesus, isn't it the laziest most overused trope in the world. More so if they are women, more so if they are partners, more so if they are queer. Really didn't expect this show to end on such a disappointing note.

Judy deserved so much better. So did Jen and the boys. So did the whole narrative and so did the viewers who where invested in this series. What a total trainwreck.

Can we please normalize not asking people about their family, their origin, their ethnic background when doing small talk?! Not everybody wants to talk about their family. Not everybody with a "foreign"-sounding surname or first name cares to talk about their origin and, side note: Many people have been born in the country they live in now and do not enjoy constantly being reminded of their backstory! I am constantly being told that my German is perfect - well, guess what? It's perfect because it's my mother tongue, just because my father's from another country doesn't mean I personally grew up elsewhere!! For many people, these topics that are somehow deemed "small-talk appropriate" by others, are a constant source of stress and "othering", some might have had traumatic experiences in childhood/youth/have no contact to their biological family anymore/have been adopted ect. It's plain rude and nosy and unnecessary to ask such personal question - think before you talk for God's sake

Okay, but season 1 episode 09 of Rizzoli & Isles?! The way Jane soothingly touches Maura's arm and how Maura reacts with this very specific look, this precious combination of surprise and wonder and tenderness for Jane?! The way they sit at home and Jane reassures Maura she doesn't have one single evil bone in her body and how they hold hands so intimately?! And then the lighter scene at the very end, when they join some plumbing business with Jane's father and brother behind the bar, how Maura reaches out her hand to touch Jane,and how Jane reciprocates that gesture and it just looks so very domestic and sweet and natural?! I am going FERAL I ship them so hard it blocks the Suez canal

The Very Best Cabenson FanFic there is

So I found this Fanfiction somehow when going down the rabbit hole of shipping Alex Cabot and Olivia Benson from "Law and Order: SVU" once again - and for me, it is THE Cabenson Fanfic. Nah, that's an understatement. It is such a beautifully written, touching, heartmelting story that I found myself reading it again and again. It's almost cathartic. The characters are just so well written and I love how their development both as individuals and as a couple is described in such a relatable, healthy way. This author really knows their stuff, folks!

Trigger warning for mentions of (past) sa, (internalized) homophobia and trauma/PTSD.

Title of Fic: "Stay"

Author:  elphiemolizbethbau

Fandom/Pairing: "Law and Order: SVU", Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson

Synopsis: Young, professionally scuessful ADA Alexandra Cabot feels herself drawn to Detective Olivia Benson. In a bad state, she one day surprisingly appears at Olivia's door and the two women slowly form a bond, their romantic feelings for each other growing stronger each day. But when they finally give in to their feelings, Liv soon finds Alex' erratic behavior quite puzzling and tries to get the younger woman to confide in her. Only when Alex reveals the horrific trauma she had to endure in her childhood and youth, the two women can truly start working at their relationship, with all the highs and lows, setbacks and challenges this involves.

Rating: M

Just watched this movie a second time and yes. I am still 100%, utterly of the opinion that this is a masterpiece of rare intelligence, invention, creativity and wit. The actors are amazing and Blanchett's performance is a joy to watch, she's so so phenomenal.

I've read some pretty awesome analyses and explanations of the movie by now and will say more on that matter soon, but I find it so puzzling that some people immediately dismiss this gem as tedious and problematic and hard to get into ? I also understand why some people prefer not to watch a movie about a character as potentially unlikeable, power-hungry and selfish as Lydia Tár, but at the same time, I just - well, I personally do not think that movies that have this clear "good guys/bad guys"-seperation are typically the most stimulating and mesmerizing ones. I found the character of Lydia Tár complex and difficult and yeah, she's definitely abusing her power and status and she probably even had a large share in literally destroying young conductor Krista Taylor (first, her career, then, the woman herself...), but I also like the fact that this movie shows that people like Tár, as disgusting and horrifying as they are, are not merely monsters, but have, for example, a soft spot for someone (in Tár's case this is her daughter Petra), strong likes and dislikes, that they even sometimes do good deeds . Life would be so easy if it were all black and white, but it's not and most people have better and worse traits. Most people have done really, really bad, fucked-up shit, but have also done some really admirable and kind stuff, so... that's what basically makes us human and I think it makes exploring characters like Lydia so interesting to me - and no, I do not condone her actions and her reasoning, but some people seem to mistake greatly enjoying and being greatly fascinated/moved by a movie with automatically agreeing to the things its protagonist does and says?!

I could watch this movie many more times. I will probably even watch it again at some point in the nearer future! Yes, it's not an "easy to get into" movie. It does not answer every of the viewer's question. It also does not state that it has a definite, clear stance on anything; it merely raises questions and it's also extremely questionable (to me) whether it really is that much of a movie about Me Too, Cancel Culture, Power Dynamics ect. Yeah, these issues appear throughout the movie and are a part of it, but I just don't think that is what it's essentially about.

And I love these kind of movies, the kind that need time to be properly processed, the kind dthat spark conversation and make me want to go down a rabbit hole of information and research and exchange; the kind that are challenging and unruly and maybe not what they seem or so much more than that...

Phenomenal stuff. Beautifully made. Original, intelligent. Then when things went mad they went really mad. Blanchett extraordinary, as we know. Great support, great music, great build up, great ending. All films should be made with this level of intelligence, bravery, confidence. Amazing.

So I just watched TÁR tonight and I'm SO SO obsessed and overwhelmed and going through A LOT right now because honestly?! This movie is a masterpiece of cinematography and I enjoyed every second immensely which is a huge achievement for a 2h 39 min long movie but this one was not one second too long! Honestly, I could have watched 2 more hours of Cate Blanchett acting like this. Her acting was PEAK PERFORMANCE, it was so vivid and authentic and nuanced and simply brilliant. My eyes were glued to the screen and I was hooked from minute one. Cate Blanchett really pulled this one of; the film is worth the watch in itself, but Cate Blanchett is what made it truly outstanding and remarkable. I can't think of any other actress that whould have been able to do this the way Cate did. I'm in awe. Sorry for fangirling but trust me, you should watch this one!

I think it's a sign of good media when you have to reread or rewatch it to get the full experience. First time is for getting your brain blasted by the story and being confused second time is for knowing who's who and what's what and willingly getting your brain blasted again.