☆ You Wanna Be With Me, You Wanna Be With Him. [Other Versions Undercut]

the cat and the human they said they didn't want:

Married in Red🌹

I love the fact that Alfred’s preferred method of communication is through food (if he’s mad at you he’ll make your least favourite food, maybe burn it a little on “accident” and if he’s concerned or proud he’ll make a special favourite etc etc) so that got me thinking… Bruce grew up with that way of communication and since brooding is effectively off the table cause hes always brooding, what would be passive aggressive ways he’ll show that he’s pissed off with somebody?

Bruce: *while handing out comm links he hands Tim the one that is most uncomfortable (it’s a tiny bit bigger in size than the others and He Can Feel It)*

Tim: seriously Bruce? You’re still mad about the Batmobile thing?

Bruce: *brooding intensifies*

Bruce: *giving out areas to patrol and gives dick his least favourite part of Gotham*

Dick: BRUCE PLEASE IVE BEEN PATROLLING THAT AREA FOR WEEKS NOW IM SORRY I ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED OFF YOUR “VERY IMPORTANT” DOCUMENTS OK??

Bruce: I’ll give you another area to patrol when my formerly perfectly kept folder is as NEAT AS IT USED TO BE!

Dick: ONLY ONE PAPER GOT A LITTLE DIRT ON IT AND ITS ALL INTELLIGIBLE!

Bruce: YOU CANT EVEN TELL IF ITS AN UPPERCASE i OR A LOWERCASE L ANYMORE! THATS A SECURITY RISK!

Bruce: *handing out protein bars during a quieter night and gives Jason a slightly smushed one*

Jason: *takes it and sighs dramatically* you know, I slept so deeply yesterday that I thought I came back from the dead again but, well, it came with a little less pain and emotional manipulation so I-

Bruce: *scowling so hard his cowl almost breaks, takes the smushed protein bar from Jason and gives him his own perfect one instead*

Jason: *smiles innocently in Alfred’s favourite*

“people in the JL hate Batman because he’s so strict” nah. people in the JL hate Batman because all of their sidekicks wanna hang out and train with the batfamily and come home asking questions like “so when are you going to get a plane?” and “why don’t you know how to do [complex judo move]?”

Fiddlestan College AU, where Stan enrolled at Backupsmore and became Fiddleford’s roommate? YES PLEASE agghhh what gravity falls did I watch

We have Bruce doing Good Dad™ things but what about Neutral Dad™ things

Mowing the lawn while drinking a cup of coffee

Standing outside and staring at an oncoming storm

Sneezes that get louder with each kid he adopts

"Hold this light while I fix this"

"Do NOT touch the thermostat"

Falling asleep on the recliner while watching a show that he'll pretend to hate when the kids ask about it

Matching cargo shorts, socks, and sandals with Clark every time they're in Smallville

PROTAG is MISERABLE!

Cause of being a silent protagonist: Being too embarrassed to correct yourself after a minor misunderstanding

the hint of regret on her face at the last second literally makes me so fucking sick studio investigraves has harmed me once more. im gonna kill myself