Every Single Version Of This Drawing Are The Reason I Keep Breathing I Love Them So Much

billford au which bill is artist ford's literal muse

this post was mainly about ford trying to convince himself that he isn't stupid and he used bill as much as bill used him. instead of accepting his feelings or fully admitting what happened, he uses this 'reassurances' as ways to cope. he was the genius who will change the world, and now he became the genius who saved the same world. i imagine him being a little vulnerable around his family and admitting things but mostly he is overly protective about this topic

oh, of course ford might have been naive for believing bill's manipulations but that doesn't exactly mean he is stupid too. sure, bill's intentions were far more different than what he told but regardless, he chose ford. out of every human he could use, he trusted ford's intelligence to build an inter-dimensional portal. and mind you, he succeeded.

"bill was using you" then what? ford was using him too. they were on a deal, actually. that means both parts get something out of it. plus, he was a little too much focused on his feelings, his admiration. if not he would've definitely realized something is off with bill.

would he though?

when bill told a story about how he cut a disrespectful garbage's head and displayed it on a square, a lesson to all, ford murmured. when bill sectioned human kind in two; people like ford & others and talked about how much of a material waste others are, how they will never understand ford and exploit his intelligence, ford thought about certain someone who looks just like him. he nodded in agreement when bill casually kept going on how it would be better if they erase out of existence.

he had similar thoughts after all. bill was just more open and violent about them. but wasn't bill always like that? ford never saw those ideas as cracks in bill's mask or slip-ups from his manipulation. he was just bill.

even now he doesn't think bill lied to him all the time because he didn't have to. ford felt himself shiver. those weren't cues for him to realize. he knew and admired bill regardless. admired him with them. admired him because of them.

The Green Ray (1986) dir. Éric Rohmer

Artist Klari Reis has been using Petri Dishes for her paintings since 2009

i am half way through the way by swann's and yesterday i realized i think in proust's sentences? i don't know how to explain but i felt like my thoughts are shaped by his words and not just the sturcture, the thought itself is resembles him too. it so weird.

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'sprawling' is a set of four fused and slumped glass dishes inspired by naturally occurring similar visuals such as mycelium networks, cave systems, nervous systems, and aerial views of rivers

i feel so weird when i look at the moon. when it's full i suddenly visualize the whole solar system in my head and be aware that we are actually on a floating rock; when it's like in the picture i took, i can swear it does have a personality and it knows. sometimes it looks bright red, right above the horizon and i feel unreal. it's like i look at the sky causally, similar to how i live, and then i see moon, it distorts reality for me and i feel lost. even at times i say myself, "just a rock", it doesn't change how shaken i feel after observing it.

Late night stroll