Uminous - .....

i got bored so here's a meme

when i want fluff/angst fics and all i’m getting is smut

the struggle is real

bucky barnes x ftm!telekinetic!reader

warnings: dysphoria, anxiety, coming out to bucky, mentions of hydra being mean and transphobic >:( btw reader is on hormones in this

request summary: i am BEGGING u for a bucky x telekinetic!reader (like the one from the dad!steve fic)

A/N: (hey gang so obviously it’s not the same exact character from this bc they were a teen but it’s the same sort of premise)

word count: 1.9k

Bucky felt something when he saw you for the first time. Something in his chest shifted—it was painful and bittersweet and curious.

There was something familiar about the tiredness in your eyes. Something familiar about the way you analyzed everyone around you, your eyes shifting as you drew your mouth in a line.

Bucky noticed your silence—your vocal silence. Your eyes were loud, though; they were confused, scared, hurt. But they were good. You were good. Bucky knew it.

He asked Steve who you were. He was informed that you were recovered from a HYDRA base, and you had telekinetic abilities that they wanted to monitor here at the tower.

Bucky sympathized heavily with you, but he didn’t see much of you in the premature days of your stay at the tower. No one did. They couldn’t convince you to leave your room that often, and when they did, you hardly interacted with anyone.

They were worried about you, and worried about what you might do with your powers—on purpose or not—if you were overstimulated or pushed too far.

Steve was the one who suggested to Bucky that he should try and get through to you.

Bucky wasn’t much of a talker, and he was honestly nervous about this whole thing, but he knew what your pain consisted of and he couldn’t stand idly by and do nothing.

He knocked on your door one afternoon and went inside cautiously. The curtains were drawn, and you were laying under your covers.

“Hey,” he said stiffly. “It’s, uh, Bucky. We met once before. Can I come in?”

You kind of shrugged, so he closed the door and sat in the chair near your bed. “I was held captive by HYDRA too, you know.”

You perked up a little, and he continued. “They used me for seventy years–”

“Jesus,” you muttered. “Sorry, I just… can’t even imagine. I was only there for ten.”

“Just because I was there longer doesn’t take away from what happened to you. Ten years is a long time.” He sighed. “Look, you don’t have to, ‘cause I know it’s hard, but if you wanna talk about it… I’m here. I’ll get it.”

“I don’t know if you’ll get all of it,” you whispered, your heart suddenly racing.

Bucky frowned. “Try me. I’m not gonna judge you.”

“It’s just—” You sat up and wrapped your blanket around you so your head was poking out.

Bucky bit back a smile at how adorable you were.

“Obviously I didn’t expect them to care about me. But you know—” tears welled in your eyes and your voice broke “—being tested on like I’m not even human is hard enough, but they—they always called me a girl—they thought it was funny that I “think I’m a guy”. They just thought I was being ridiculous. They called me difficult and punished me when I broke down about the fact that they wouldn’t let me take T anymore. They had files about my whole life, so they—they knew, and they pushed the knife in about it every fucking chance they got. As if the fucking experiments weren’t enough—but this shit alone made me wanna just–”

You snapped out of your rant and realized you were heavily crying, and that Bucky was sitting there, watching you. You couldn’t tell if his face was judgmental, but his eyebrows were slightly raised in surprise.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I–” You had so many things that you wanted to say, but they all got caught in your throat as the tears streamed.

Bucky didn’t know if this was crossing boundaries, but he couldn’t stop himself from leaving his chair and wrapping you in a hug. “Hey, it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m sure you needed to get all that out.” He held you for a minute before asking, “So… you’re trans?”

You nodded as your tears soaked his shirt.

“Alright, just wanted to make sure. We’ll get you on, uh, T again and all that. You don’t have to worry about anything here. We got you. And fuck them,” he added with disdain.

You laughed a little. “Yeah,” you whispered, “fuck them.”

From then on, you had daily conversations with Bucky.

At first he came to your room with tea and you talked about random things, or HYDRA, or whatever you or Bucky wanted.

Literally could be about the dog he saw on his walk that day. Or the weird protein shakes Sam drinks

But eventually he lured you out of your room

You went on walks around the tower together and he showed you where everything was.

Eventually this turned into getting lunch together every day.

You actually had a reason to get dressed and leave your room now. You even wanted to try and look nice for Bucky, but you didn’t want to unpack that yet

When Steve gathered Wanda, Loki, and Stephen into a meeting to discuss beginning your training, you stood close to Bucky the entire time.

He noticed your hands were trembling a little from nerves, so he took one in his and gave it a squeeze.

“You don’t have to do this,” he murmured.

“No, I do. I don’t wanna end up hurting you or anyone else.”

You spent more time with the team now, which was a pleasant surprise. However, sometimes all of that attention could lead to a lot of anxiety, and when you had a lot of anxiety, the objects around you fell victim.

At first it’s your water trembling in the glass as your heart picks up

And then when you can’t breathe, objects start flying

And then it’s you with your head between your knees, objects flying in a tornado around you as you try to calm down.

When this happened in the common area, most of the Avengers didn’t really know what to do to calm you down

But Bucky shouldered through the swirling mass of objects with his metal arm, and found you in the eye of the storm.

You were trembling, struggling to breathe, and it broke his heart.

He knelt in front of you and held your face in his hands, urging you to look at him.

The fact that he was there, smiling reassuringly at you, made things a little better.

He helped you control your breathing, and slowly the objects flying around you dropped to the ground, until there was nothing concealing you and Bucky from the rest of the Avengers.

You were both on the ground, and he was hugging you tightly. He turned around and glared at the team, nodding his head for them to leave and give you some space.

After that, when either of you has a nightmare or really bad anxiety at night, you would go and slip into the other’s bed. After a while it became normal to wake up and see Bucky fast asleep beside you.

It’s honestly the best view in the world

You usually end up cuddling in your sleep, and wake up with your face in his chest and his arms around you.

Sometimes he’s worried that his arm bothers you, but you reassure him every time that you like it because it’s a part of him, so he never has to worry about that (that’s cheesy but hey it’s the truth. And it’s actually just a sick ass arm and it’s super hot)

(He also sticks his grocery list to it with a magnet which is another reason to love it)

Speaking of that, sometimes you clip little notes to his arm with magnets

Ones that say “have a good day :)” or “thanks for lunch” or other random little things, because you know that the notes make him smile.

At this point your training has been going well and your anxiety is not as persistent. And when you do have it, you’re able to control whether you throw shit around with your telekinesis or not.

You’re basically part of the team now, having come out of your shell, but it’ll be a while before you’re “sworn in” or whatever and go on a mission

You hang out a lot with Wanda, and Sam too (when you’re with Sam, Bucky’s usually there too tho, because Sam kind of scares you lol)

Sam likes you because you’re quiet, but sometimes you have a comeback that’s really good, and he finds that so funny because it’s sort of out of character for u

I mean, if he was Bucky, he’d know that you’re really funny and have good comebacks way more often than sometimes. No matter how close you get to the rest of the team, Bucky will always know you the best, and will always be your rock

You’d been acting a little weird around Bucky as of late, though, and he didn’t know why.

You were more quiet, more in your head.

He was worried because he knew what thinking about HYDRA could do to him, and he didn’t want you to be in all that turmoil and not tell him.

You were sitting at the kitchen island, doodling on a scrap piece of paper while your food cooled down, and Bucky ambled in and stood behind you. He ran his hands through your hair and rested his chin on your head. “What’s goin’ on in there?” he asked.

He noticed your breath hitch. Did you not want him around? Did you suddenly not like when he touched you?

“My head? So many things, obviously, I’m a genius.”

He laughed and sat on the stool next to yours. He faced you, wearing his down-to-business expression. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“Uh, yeah, I have told you everything. You literally know me better than anyone.”

“Okay… then tell me why you’ve been avoiding me.”

You couldn’t think of an excuse, so you huffed a laugh and went back to doodling.

“Fine. Don’t.” He stood and retrieved a magnet from the fridge and slapped it onto the table. “Write it down.”

You sighed heavily. You knew he was going to persist until you told him, and writing it down did seem like the better option. Dammit, Bucky, why are you so stubborn?

You scrawled down four words onto the piece of paper and used the magnet to stick it onto Bucky’s arm. “There. Fine. There’s your damn note of the day. If you don’t like what it says, don’t come crying to me.” You walked out of the kitchen (yeah you abandoned your food😔)

You probably should’ve found a better hiding spot than your room, because Bucky found you pretty quickly.

The first thing he said when he stepped into your room was: “I like you, okay?”

You sighed. “Yeah, I know, that’s the stupid thing I wrote on the paper, and you don’t have to have some discussion with me in order to reject me, I’m fine–”

“No, I’m saying that I like you too.”

(Y'all knowwwww that Bucky kept that piece of paper and put it in a scrapbook of memories for the two of you.)

Anyway, you being a couple was sort of the obvious move and no one was really surprised.

It definitely raised yours and Bucky’s morale and made you easier to work with (Sam is always commenting on how Bucky is way less pissy now that you’re finally dating).

You make sure Bucky knows that he saved you—you were in the darkest place of your life, and he slowly brought you out of it and accepted you for all that you are.

Because of that, and because of everything you’ve experienced together along the way, he is and always will be the love of your life.

18+ mdni

that reality check hitting after reading smut

I don't know what's going on. I want to be neutral, but I want to be masculine, but not a man. I want to be feminine, but I don't want to have boobs. I want to be flat, but I don't want nipples. I want people to call me Janelle Monae, but I don't want them to call me a woman. I want to have a beard, but nothing manly down there. I want to wear dresses and binders and chain earrings and chokers and suits.

I want to be other. I want people to see me and think "is that a guy or a girl". I want to confuse them. Like my gender is a secret, and not one.

Calling myself trans feels right, but...what am I transitioning to?

(please tag with #hasy thoughts)

Submitted March 22, 2023

small cultural & Colombia/Latin related details from Encanto 🇨🇴

the flowers on Isabela’s dress and in her hair - cattleya trianae orchids (may lilies), national flowers of Colombia

Camilo snapping his fingers when he is excited

Mirabel using her lips to point

flowered balconies (like in Cartagena)

ruanas (ponchos) that Bruno and Camilo wore

Dolores’ “squeaks”

inviting the whole town/neighbourhood to a party

sombrero vueltiao - traditional Colombian hat

Isabela being covered in the colors of Colombian flag (🇨🇴) during her song

and many many more!

(this is for all the people who still say Encanto is not about Colombians ; sorry about the quality of the gifs)

Ao3 writers are the strongest Avengers