I Hereby Grant You A Bachelors Degree In Being A Board Game Nerd.

dude today a customer brought me a birthday card and asked me "is this a girl birthday card or a unisex birthday card? I thought it was unisex but when I scanned it at the self-checkout it said girl birthday card." the birthday card was just a bunch of balloons with the text "happy birthday". and then when I was like "i dunno I think that's just the official name of the card on our system I'm sure a boy would be happy with the card" the customer was like "well if it is a girl birthday card can you tell me if this other birthday card is unisex or for girls? if the other card is unisex I'd like to exchange the girl birthday card for the unisex one". Like what. You can look at the cards. With your eyeballs. You are holding them both you can see them and decide whether or not you want the card. What the fuck are you talking about why are you asking me this

Like this?

tumblr will always be a better website than twitter because you can only retweet a tweet once, whereas on this website if i really like a post i can make my followers scroll past it twelve times in a row

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX3Z8qG7AKo

The local big-box store has decided not to let Hallowe'en get in the way of Christmas and set up the twelve-foot animatronic skeleton right next to the twelve-foot inflatable Santa. The inflatable Santa's wobbling keeps setting off the animatronic skeleton's motion activated flail-and-scream routine, which in turn sets off the inflatable Santa's motion sensor and makes it play "Jingle Bells".

Unmute !

never would I think I would see it on my dash

Why do witches like always wanna fatten kids up before they eat them?? fat is like the grossest part of meat

*canonballs into 2024 bc i've grown inured to the horrors and am overdue to be bedazzed by the wonders* giddyeup bitch