The Aunt Josephine One Jsjsksksksks

The Aunt Josephine one jsjsksksksks

ASOUE as John Mulaney Quotes

Violet: Top 3 colleges? I thought I'd be dead in the back of a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.

Klaus: Woah! That tall child looks terrible! Get some rest, tall child!

Sunny: stop snitchin, motherfucker!

Count Olaf: "Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs."

Mr. Poe: Strange, the passage of time.

Jacquelyn: In terms of instant relief, cancelling plans is like heroin.

Larry: "I made a salad with Craisins!!!"

Isadora: Well shit, I guess they're finally gonna kill us all. This is younger than I thought it'd be, but we are pretty big assholes.

Quigely: STREET SMARTS!

Duncan: Nothing, cause I was sittin' over on the bench.

Beatrice: She's a five-foot, dynamite, Jewish bitch, and she's the best!

Bertrand: My wife says walking around with me is like walking with someone who's running for Mayor of Nothing.

Lemony Snicket: I don't look like someone who used to do anything. I look like I was just sitting in a room with a chair eating saltines for 28 years and then walked right out here.

Jacques Snicket: I'll keep all of my emotions right here, and then one day, I'll die.

Kit Snicket: ughh... you know, life...

Dewey Denouement: "You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

Justice Strauss: "This is an on-fire garbage can. Could be a nursery..."

Oliva Caliban: Now, we don't have time to unpack ALL of that...

Aunt Josephine: Look-- I don't know 'never'! Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation; now I'm afraid to get a flu shot! People CHANGE.

Uncle Monty: AAHH! One feels like a DUCK, splashing about in all this WET! And when one feels like a DUCK, one is HAPPY!

Esme Squalor: Famous people are weird as SHIT. Your suspicions are correct.

Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender: [imitating old gay man] You want me to do whaat?

Fernald: Do My Friends Hate Me, or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?

Rest of Olaf's Troupe: OK, see you at Improv Practice.

Ishmael: "God can't hear you."

Sir: "You kids have no upper body strength."

Jerome Squalor: You'll see! One day I'm gonna leave you, and I'm gonna get that Best Buy Rewards Card!

Hal: There is a HORSE. LOOSE. In the HOSPITAL.

VFD Villagers: "Oh god, it's the old times. Ok.. we gotta think of some weird, slow activities to fill the day..."

*ATWQ bonus*

Ellington: Ah, none of us really know our fathers.

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